I enter a dark room, and drop my yukata onto a chair in the corner. Underneath, I’m still clothed, but in something more appropriate for Glass and Steel – and for then, something called ‘working out’ that I don’t recall ever doing, but I like how the pants look when I glance behind at the mirror.
And tonight, just once… my tanto found its way back to my hand.
I grin a bit as I grip it. Tonight, I’m on a mission – to -avenge- a great wrong.
“You artists forgot his nose and made his neck too thick that one time. The ‘live action’ man was too short, but did well. But this newest insult…” I shake my head, as the lights come up a bit, and there’s a large placard.
LIDEN FILMS
I normally only stab slow, lazy writers. She’s -soft- and this signboard is not, and besides, I’m not trained in -combat-, just dumb little throwing tricks. But I have a -lot- built up right now and few outlets…
“His -face- his -face- – he needs those lines! He even had them as a young man! And what did you do to his jawline?” I say, at least ripping the top layer and getting some satisfaction. “But the shoulders – I -cannot- forgive! How can a -slight- man make a gatotsu? It’s not -just- in the thighs, you fools! And denying him his fight with the rooster-head! That’s unfair to them -both-.” Because I think the rooster-head enjoyed it too, even though he was thoroughly defeated. I wipe the sweat off my forehead.
“Worst of all,” I say, giving up on the tanto and just shoving the board, but it remains lodged mid-air, “you lazy people made him -boring-. He may be many, many frustrating things, but even when he sleeps for -years-, he’s never -boring-!”
Panting, my hair falling down from its pins, I stare at the sign. “I just wanted to see something of my ookami-sama, you bastards. He’s bigger than this version you made but it still has power that could mess up this world.” The way back, if there is one, is so fragile. We don’t need this. At least in those other versions if he didn’t look exactly as he should, at least he was all that he should be.
I throw the tanto at the sign. It at least sticks in the board.
(OOC – she’s working some stuff out. Haha)
*Watches her from the shadows -not- lighting his cigarette just yet*
*smirks thinking this is -slightly- amusing*
*thinks at least he now knows which parts she likes… or liked?*
*Thinks, *She doesn’t like narrow shouldered men and I young looking faces? Wasn’t her Okita exactly that?**
*Thinks, *The fight with the roosterhead was boring in the first place… why suffer through that again?*
*Ah but the thought of him being boring… Now that got to him and he steps out of the shadows*
“Your aim has always been pretty good.” *LIghts up before looking up at the sign board* “Your teacher was good I’ll give him that”
*Reaches up and gets the tanto back down and hands it back to her* “Yours right? Now stand back”.
*Grins slightly, thinking he’d never though in a million years he’d have to do the chandelier move all over again*
*Launches himself up the signboard and shatters it to pieces with one strike and lands back down*
“Now…” *looks at her for a moment almost longingly* “Don’t let -that- bother you.”
*Sheathes his sword and looks towards the exit door.* “My work here is done.”
*Wondered if this was going to draw him out – the tight pants, the ‘workout’, or combined?*
“Applauds as he takes out the sign, grinning.* *The sight of him, the smirk, the dangling cigarette as he shows his power… thinks – how can they miss this? How do they find the most ‘mid’ version?*
Thanks for that. *Puts the tanto on her discarded yukata* Doesn’t fix the show, but… *shrugs* *eyes show her feelings, how much she’s missed him* I like seeing you.
*Catches his eyes* *Thinks – what do I see in those eyes? Does he want to see me? As much as I want to see him?*
“Done?” *holds out her hand and takes a step closer* You can stay. I’d like to see you, much better than any cartoon or actor.
Wolf:
*Looks around the bare room full of padded walls. Thinks it looks more like a mental institution than a work out room*
“I’m not sure this room was made for staying.” Takes a quick puff of his cig. “Cartoon or Actor?” *shrugs* “I can care -less- about that but of course the “ahou” is now off to the snakes den called reddit.” *Chuckles a bit and mutters* “That idiot.”
But then realizes the one in front of him is even worse. His gaze falling upon the tanto on her yukata.
*Watches his eyes as he looks at the place. Thinks – when did the walls get like this?*
Cartoons or actors? It’s just interesting, to see how you manifest elsewhere in these shows. *smiles a bit* As someone who doesn’t… *shrugs and walks over to him, looking at his eyes, although she already knows.* *Thinks he didn’t take my hand* But seeing all of this ‘RK’ drama, I suppose it’s not always the best thing.
*Notices he’s staring at her tanto* Funny how that keeps turning up. But I don’t want it. *Comes over to him and slides it in his back pocket* I have no wish to defend myself. To fight -like that-. “shakes her head* This was just… waiting.
But… *finds a towel and wipes down her face and neck* you woke up, to see me here. *tilts her head and looks at him* I could have left a sign alone, and let my writer mutter about the ‘reddit’ and stayed out of it… But it’s hard to find you. Your old cabin is surrounded by smoke and won’t let me in. So thanks for coming. *feels her resolve breaking, and leans forward and embraces him tightly* Ah, sorry, I’ll get you all sweaty.
Wolf:
“As someone who doesn’t manifest himself?” I tilt my head and look at her as I finish her words for her. “One day you should actually finish what you’re saying so people understand what you truly mean. Not that I’m one to take my own medicine.” Finds himself grinning.
Feels the knife slide into his pocket. Thinking he confiscated that and locked it up in his office but things have a way of just appearing or disappearing in this place. “And again, what was it that was waiting?”
I watch as she goes and cleans herself and tells me it’s hard to find me. “My cabin is off limits even to those with the best of intentions.” I say. It’s the one place I can be myself or myselves I suppose…
And she embraces me while I look down at my gloved hand that still holds the cigarette that’s running short. “It’s alright. I have a ton of uniforms back in the office. These things are so low quality they get tears easily and with how easily they get soiled and stained, they can’t survive but a few washes. ”
Was I supposed to hold her back? But the way she holds me with both of my arms pinned, I only manage to pat the small of her back. “There there. Don’t worry your pretty head over laundry. I’m sure I’ll find someone to do it eventually.”
No I’m the one who doesn’t appear in countless other cartoons of whatever. *thinks – does he think I was trying to rebuke him?* *thinks – I didn’t come here to fight*
Waiting… it’s quiet in Aizu. *quietly* There’s good people there. I’m sorry I sold them short, based on tales of one person. Not just Ueda-sama or Kanbee-san… but they’ve shown me kindness. *looks up at him* It’s certainly more than I’ve shown to any of them.
The cabin is off-limits now? I guess that’s why even Yaso-san was left standing outside as well.
“Ah, well at least that one time your belt and jacket held up,” I say, with a bit of a smile. For all of my bluster, I’d probably be as emotional as Himura-san witnessing that fight. His hand sits akwardly on my back, like he doesn’t know how to hold me anymore.
But then he says… “oh, like who? Those two new girls they added in who were serving at your meeting with Shibumi?” Ah. And who was thinking that she didn’t come here to fight? I move one hand from around him and instead go to play with his collar, and I grin up at him a bit. “They don’t seem like the laundry type.”
And with that I pull him down to my lips. Not because of other women. Because I wanted to.
Wolf:
She makes it clearer who she’s talking about. I -had- thought she was taking a jab at my absence or inaction whichever it was. I couldn’t blame her if she did actually.
She also updates me on what’s happened in Aizu. I’m glad that the people I relied on are coming through for them. I try to shrug it off, her guilty feelings by adding, “It couldn’t be helped. You knew little of Aizu folk and those you did weren’t exactly a good representation. It didn’t help of course that I too have my ownn reservations and didn’t feel like telling you what kind of people they were.” Namuzawa was a good man otherwise I’d not let Yoshi go to him. Kurosawa would never have made it as the village elder if he was inept and unreliable. “But Sagawa is easy enough to know.”
And my attempt at steering our conversation into lighter topics like laundry seems to have worked as she mentions how my belt and jacket held up. No doubt a reference to my fight with the Battousai in the Tanuki’s dojo. A long time ago and yet deja vu -is- a thing lately it seems. But somehow we end up in those sticky topics like “other women”.
“It was rather unrealistic to think there were no women in the teahouse when I met with Shibumi.” I look down at her as she frees herself and starts playing with my collar. “I normally don’t pay them much attention unless the job requires it.” And it did, fairly recently back in Tokyo with Miyagawa and that girl he assigned to me. Hide and I were already separated then so I say nothing and half jest, “I think most women do not like doing laundry.”
She pulls me down for a kiss and although I really shouldn’t. Not anymore. I still find it hard to resist when it’s been so long I’ve had her on my mind. Closing my eyes, I indulge even if it means nothing, not anymore.
Does he believe me? That he does, that he’s moved on from that fight…
I realize when he speaks of Aizu that he’s not trying to lay more blame on me, or even let what I’ve laid upon myself rest. “You should have told me more, but I should have asked,” I tell him. “Not just assumed a few people we met in Tokyo were representative of the whole.” Even Namuzawa-san seems to have mellowed some since that first meeting. Is he more assured with his place in Tsuyoshi-kun’s life?
He dismisses the women at Shibumi’s, and I… I wish for the days where I’d tease him about it. But I know that the ‘job’ lead to him to where he would be set up with Aioi-san, just needing a push….
“I like doing your laundry, even if you’d worry I wouldn’t get your undershorts as sparkling clean as you liked your fundoshi back in the day…” I say with a bit of grin, taking his turn back to less stormy waters. Which is… interesting. The one I thought entered this room would have taken the fight.
He kisses me and oh…. he kisses me back and it’s heady and all of the things that kissing him should be. This he did not forget, or discard. He knows how to kiss me and I deepen it, drinking in the oasis this moment represents. Feeling something stir – not lust, but… something old. Something warm and sure.
Yet we have to breathe and the kiss ends. I cradle his face with one hand, looking into his eyes. It doesn’t feel as clear-cut as it has in the past. Is that because of the sleeping, or the dominance of one over the other? Or do the divides become less defined, when he isn’t even existing that much these days?
“I do need you, though… to wake up and move. Everyone, including you, seems to want me to be furious with you. And I am frustrated with you. Time is moving in Aizu and…” I take a breath, because it’s not all up to me, “but it’s not going to move anymore until you do. New Years won’t come, Misao-san will remain at sea. If you want this world to live or end, you can’t be passive.”
“For everything I feel, the frustration, the sadness… even the hopelessness, at times… all of that combined the love is always more. I know these days you don’t believe me, or find me… delusional,” I say, I -am- in a padded room, after all. “I know… there is still so much love there from you, -all- of you. I don’t know if we can fix this, some would say that we can’t. We won’t know either way, though, if you aren’t a participant.”
I kiss him again, long and slow. I wanted to make a speech even less than I wanted to fight. This may not be Shanghai… but I’m here to chase after him. I want Yaso-san to know I’m not abandoning him… but I want him too.
The kiss ends as it always did with me leaning into her a little bit more than I should have the right to. She cradles my face and I almost turn to nuzzle into it like the old days but I maintain enough composure not to succumb to that old habit.
If you want this world to live or end, you can’t be passive.”
I don’t say anything to that except exhale a bit. I used to want its end. I didn’t want to live anymore. But all of them are still wherever they are, where they should -not- be.
the love is always more. I know these days you don’t believe me, or find me… delusional,”
“Your words always came from a place of sincerity.” I tell her “but you’re right I don’t believe you.” Because she is that kind of person who says words she means from the bottom of her heart but for one reason or another just -can’t-. I often wondered what I’d have to do for her to… but I finally understood that it was -I- that was the problem.
I don’t know if we can fix this, some would say that we can’t. We won’t know either way, though, if you aren’t a participant.”
I let her kiss me one more time. It’s time we say goodbye after all. I touch that face as I end the kiss and flick my thumb across her forehead looking into her eyes. This woman who will swear up and down she loves me and actually believe it herself. She could’ve made someone very happy, if only… I put some distance between us.
“Well maybe that diminished one will do better.” I say an obvious reference to that effigy that is and is not me. But the reference is not too far to who I am today.
I light up and blow the smoke to the side. “Goodbye Hide.”
(OOC: Wolf exits.)