I stop, for a minute, to look at Ai-chan, sleeping contentedly. For a moment, just watching her, she’s so peaceful… Makoto-chan was squirmy, even in sleep, like she was dreaming about moving. This one is quiet, with only little baby noises or the slightest curl in her lips, almost as if she’s smiling as she dreams about something pleasant.
Diapers. Every clean diaper we have. I find a satchel and cram those in, along with some clothes for her, and find the little quilted cloak I made for her. It’s cold in Aizu… Food… I get on my knees to pull out the cans from another place, the last few I have stockpiled. My own milk was nearly done and whatever my sister did stopped it entirely. But I should have enough for this trip… and bottles…
I stand up at the sound of footsteps and find Hajime standing there. Probably wishing he was somewhere else.
This room he had built for us, never really -made- ours. It wasn’t just the sex, but in a full house, this should have been our refuge, the place where we discussed things.
But I didn’t make time for that. Too afraid to ‘bother’ him or her. Maybe I wanted him to chase me. Maybe I thought I had to have a ‘reason’ to summon him here, and that asking for his help or opinion was admitting weakness, that I couldn’t handle this household.
I push my hair back, it’s at the length now where it keeps falling in my face. “Thank you for coming tonight, and… for making sure we’ll all be safe.” I look down, then back up at him. Suddenly swept with a wave of longing, he looks so tired and it’s the smell of blood… yet here he is. “I wish there was time,” I say, softly, coming up and wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest. “Time to push some soba on you, to have a bath and then let you rest on a fine pillow. All while I could enjoy the hints of praise about my cooking, and feel warm and safe…” … and loved. It’s so foolish. He has another pillow, another who can make dinner, welcome him… but I’m just like that, the sort to chase after another woman’s man.
Saitou:
I see she’s quick to put everything in the bag and a satchel lies on the bed with Ai-chan’s things and as she gets up, she’s holding a couple of tin cans for the powder milk. Not -this- time of course but there’s always been that anomaly in our lives. My eyes go from her to the corner where Ai-chan sleeps. Always a good baby.
“Thank you for coming tonight, and… for making sure we’ll all be safe.”
“Mmm.” I say, I wouldn’t have had to, had the protection I arranged for them wasn’t so easily removed but I suppose I could’ve done better and left explicit instructions for the men to wait for me. But would have they waited if it was Kawaji himself who demanded it? Even if it was the fake one.
“I wish there was time,” “Time to push some soba on you, to have a bath and then let you rest on a fine pillow. All while I could enjoy the hints of praise about my cooking, and feel warm and safe…”
There wasn’t really any time. Not really. She looks up at me and I look down at her, into those brown eyes but I stay where I am. She comes over and embraces me by the waist and lays her head on my chest. I suppose, I didn’t quite know what to do with my hand and so I ended up placing my right hand on her head, patting it a little.
I wasn’t sure what to answer with but I suppose, “Zaru soba would’ve been good but in the winter Kake Soba would be appropriate.” A part of me after all used to like hot soba -years- ago. “Maa… The rest, well you’ll get some sleep on the train and a good bath once you’re in Aizu. There’s a nice Onsen there so you and the others can relax. Just ask Kanbee. He’ll take you.”
He makes a sound as I talk about the protection. Which means it was a surprise to him. “What happened to them? They left without a word…” Not that they were chatty, and after I was chastised for following Hajime out that one day, I followed the rules.
His hand rests on my head, like he’s consoling a child.
Zaru soba would’ve been good but in the winter Kake Soba would be appropriate.
I nod at that. He talks to me as if I’m a stranger…
Maa… The rest, well you’ll get some sleep on the train and a good bath once you’re in Aizu. There’s a nice Onsen there so you and the others can relax. Just ask Kanbee. He’ll take you.
I look up at him. “And what of your rest? I can smell blood on you.” Is someone now dead, because of me? “Please, -please- be careful. I know you’re good… and I don’t doubt you, but… I still worry. It’s what a woman does…” The last time we split up he nearly died… those scars, always reminding me what happened. I got mine removed, but his -stay-.
But as I look at him I see -her- hand on him. -Her- lips. My hand, shaking slightly, brushes his bangs back. “Tonight I saw another touch you as I did, kiss you… that hurt, even though you’re not mine anymore and I have no right to claim… but I want to touch you, to kiss you. I want to… be yours again.” How weak I must seem to him, how needy and clingy.
“And… I’m sorry for asking to come with you. You’re in a mess because of me, I just want to do what I can… I just want to support you.” I manage a bit of a smile, trying to stave off tears. “But I’ll take care of the young ones.” I’d been told over and over that the support I offered was -lacking-, so nothing is new.
Saitou:
She asks about the guards. “The former Okashira found a man in the TMPD who forged Kawaji’s signature.” I’m sure that sounded -weak-. How I bungle something so simple but I try not to think about that, after all what’s one more blunder?
“And what of your rest? I can smell blood on you.”
I step back away from her. “Sumana. I didn’t have time to clean up before coming here.”
I look away, wishing that we were outside, at least there I can light up. “You don’t have to worry about Miyagawa anymore. I’ve detained him after questioning him.” At least I brought her some good news. It won’t change much but at the very least it is good news.
I preferred Miyagawa -dead- but Aioi was right he’s worth more alive. “He’ll be useful as we build a case against Yasutake.” If I’m not successful in Ito, Kawaji felt shamed enough that he’d continue pursuing that organization now that he has -some- evidence.
“Please, -please- be careful. I know you’re good… and I don’t doubt you, but… I still worry. It’s what a woman does…”
I grin a little, thinking back to the old days in Mibu where the 1st troop would go on patrol at night. It was no secret she stayed up waiting for them to come back. “I’m sure you will…” Then suddenly I shrug remembering how things ended up with us, “But you shouldn’t worry. The entire Police Department isn’t as incompetent as it once was.”
“Tonight I saw another touch you as I did, kiss you… that hurt, even though you’re not mine anymore and I have no right to claim… but I want to touch you, to kiss you. I want to… be yours again.”
I shake my head. “You wouldn’t want to end up like Aioi. I -used- that woman and then sent her away when her utility was done.” Well it was Aioi who decided to leave, but who cares who sent away whom? After all I was going ask Aioi to leave before I go to Ito, but she beat me to it.
And Hide wants to be mine again? I don’t want to read into that. I -know- where that leads. I’d rather not make a fool of myself anymore and I won’t let her fool herself either. “Hide, you’re just lonely. Those feelings will pass.” And I’m sure mine will as well. “It just needs time.”
I’m sorry for asking to come with you. You’re in a mess because of me, I just want to do what I can… I just want to support you.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty about receiving protection from the Police. It is -our- job.” I look at her, “Besides this mama-san turned out to be quite the criminal, smuggling, human trafficking, drug lord she even got the prefectural police to bend to her… It’s not something the TMPD can leave alone.”
“But I’ll take care of the young ones.”
“Thank you.” That I say sincerely, especially for the little one who’s still sound asleep. “Now finish up packing. I have a carriage waiting outside. I’ll drive you all to the station.”
(OOC: Saitou will exit unless something happens.)
Sumana. I didn’t have time to clean up before coming here.
“It’s alright,” I say, as he backs away from me. I’ve smelled it before. I’ve washed it out of sky-blue haori, out of the tatami mats in my father’s house, from the floor of the storehouse.
You don’t have to worry about Miyagawa anymore. I’ve detained him after questioning him. He’ll be useful as we build a case against Yasutake
“Oh, good,” I say, glad he’s behind bars but also that he still has his head. “I asked my brothers about his father, but I never heard back if I had half-remembered anything useful…” Probably not. Souji stalked so many in Sakamoto’s circle. I don’t mind, though, that he lives… for a man of privilege and power, justice and then a life in jail seems to be a more fitting punishment. Wait… “Yasutake?” That’s not a name I’ve heard before. (OOC – Hide would only know of the ‘Kato’ name)
I’m sure you will… But you shouldn’t worry. The entire Police Department isn’t as incompetent as it once was.
There’s a bit of a grin, at first, that makes my heart leap… but his face shifts back again, so quickly that I don’t wonder if I’m just -imagining- it. “I wouldn’t if it was the Police, but it’s just you, isn’t it? Going into this alone…” At least in Mibu, he had an entire troupe, even if sometimes the skill of the men was uneven. But I would worry, even if the Shinsengumi captains came back from the dead to back him up and he was in peak form. There’s still -danger-.
You wouldn’t want to end up like Aioi. I -used- that woman and then sent her away when her utility was done.
They’re done? I can’t hide the surprise on my face. I thought that she’d be in this house in a few weeks, for all she came here to dress me down and make her claims. And used her? For his work? To test me?
Hide, you’re just lonely. Those feelings will pass. It just needs time.
I look at his eyes, the gold I remember now almost… he must be so tired. Of all of this. “Hajime I…. I know what it is to be lonely. To lose something precious. To never be the same again… and for it to hurt more each day. Those years in Ito…” I knew what it was to lose my first love, even though the relationship was over, it was a pain that lingered and defined years of my life. But leaving Hajime all those years ago was worse, and he wasn’t even -dead-. Just lost to -me-.
I listen as he rattles off -everything- that she’s involved with… it’s -staggering-. “I thank the Police for everything, and if all of this results in the fall of her empire… at least that.” In the face of it, ours is just a little sorrow.
“I won’t be long, packing up.” I hear Makoto’s voice now in the kitchen.
(OOC – Close)