Akane:
We reach the government hospital and a man likely in his late 30’s comes pick us up, introducing himself as Dr. Tenma and sends us up to the 4th floor. I’d protest and tell him, how does he expect someone like Ueda-sama to go all the way up to the 4th floor but Ueda-sama just follows him solemnly.
It’s like we’re going to a funeral…
“Is he awake?” Ueda-sama asks.
“No.” After a long pause, “But he’s out of danger. Just sleeping.”
“Hmm.”
“If all of you speak to him, there’s a chance he’ll hear you.” Tenma says.
“I’ll be the one to see him.”
“Ueda-sama… I’d like to see Otou…” Eiji who’s been very quiet interrupts.
“There’s no need for you.” Ueda-sama replies curtly, “I will see his condition first and decide if any of you should -later-.”
His strong resistance seems to put Eiji firmly in his place and I’m -not- interested at all. But to put Eiji-kun at ease, I ask. “If there’s a area we can wait in, I’d appreciate the company Eiji.”
He nods and Tenma adds, “You two can stay down the hall. There’s a waiting room there.”
“Thank you. Tenma-sensei.” I add as we arrive at the designated floor. I can see Ueda-sama heaving a little and I’m concerned so I start to go to him but he raises his hand. This man, once the trusted advisor of the entire village including Okura-sama wills his body using only his mind. But for how long? I look across the long hallway and it’s rather dim since the windows are only half drawn.
I pull Tenma-sensei to the side and whisper, “Please ensure he’s using his cane and well he has bad eyesight.”
He nods and points us to the opposite end. “Go there and when he’s done, we’ll fetch you.” Then he turns to Ueda-sama, “This way please sir and if you can, please hold on to the side rails as you walk.”
Eiji stops for a moment and watches as they leave and with a sigh he turns to me. “Do you think he’ll at least let me see Otou?”
“I don’t know. There must be a reason he’s not letting us see.” We start walking to the waiting room, “Don’t take it to heart, even Yagi-san wasn’t allowed to come with.”
“That’s what’s worrying me the most Akane-san. Shouldn’t Hide-san insisted she come too?” He closes the door behind us. “Just the other day he announced they were separating and she said it was “premature”, but now Otou-san’s here and we don’t know his condition or -why- it happened and…” He goes to a window, “Still she’s -not- here.”
“Are you saying she doesn’t care Eiji-kun?” I ask surprised. “She welcomed us warmly, I’d never have thought they were planning on separating.”
He takes a deep breath, “They went through a lot of challenges the past few months, Yagi-san was kidnapped and then threatened. He managed to bring her back but then her life was threatened again. And father, well I’ve been told he’s been changing lately – with his irritable personality and even keeping another woman.”
“Why that good for nothing man!” I exclaim and put my hands over my mouth. “It’s bad enough he’s going around Aizu cavorting with his wife, which he said he was -leaving- and now -this-?! I knew I should’ve never let Yagi-san reason her way out of his indecency! And to think Yagi-san is even making sure he gets back his personal items from Ueda-sama! I HOPE HE NEVER COMES BACK!”
And it’s then that I notice Eiji-kun look down, averting his eyes away from me.
“Oh Eiji-kun. It’s not…” What were I to say to him? He wouldn’t understand how that man abandoned the one I considered my older sister.
“Ah Akane-san, don’t worry about it. Ueda-sama was probably right, I shouldn’t be in that room.”
And that’s when I noticed a wet spot on the floor. I sigh, I shouldn’t have said anything.
“He’s unconscious.” I tell the old man, “He might be able to hear you in case you wanted to speak to him.”
The old man comes up to the bed and touches Fujita’s face. I guess a old man like that with poor eyesight trusts his tactile feelings more than his eyesight. I can’t blame him. I watch as his hands and fingers spread out over Fujita’s temples, then his nose, his cheeks and jaw and finally his ears. The old man even brushes back his bangs.
According to the reports, this man is not his real father. An adopted one likely but the Kansoku register is one filled with many errors. But it seems he doesn’t have to be a real father to seem like one. Lucky for Fujita, even my own father wouldn’t give me the time of day on my death bed. In fact he abhorred that I now work for the Meiji government. But we all have to live somehow in this new era.
“Tenma sensei…” He turns to my direction, “These cuts on Goro’s neck. What are these?”
I glance back at him, “Oh those? When we got him, he already had those cuts.” It’s mostly a white lie. He was in fact already injured, I only added a few more cuts to try to save his life.
The man keeps touching Fujita’s neck and I instead take his hand and guide them to Fujita-san’s hands. “See here? He’s warm. It’s almost like he’s sleeping.” I say more to assure the old man.
“Have you tried to wake him up?”
“I have tried several course of actions.”
“Has he had any indications of being lucid at least? How many days has he been like this?” He goes back and touches Fujita’s temple as if he was a little boy. His hands shake a bit and if his eyes were clear instead of that constant cloud of gray, I bet I’d see his sadness clearly.
“It will be the third day and…” I sigh – this old man come from far away and I heard earlier he’s returning today, “Do you want to try to speak to him old man? I maybe able to force him to wake up.”
“Will it be safe?”
I smile a little, “There’s always risks but it’s safer in small doses.”
I had forced some of the amphetamine in powdered form earlier this morning and I saw him respond, although it was only a minute and he wouldn’t speak. I might as well take the opportunity and experiment some more on this man with the consent of his “father” I suppose.
I take out the syringe and smile at Ueda. “Once I inject him with this, you can probably speak to him. I don’t know if he’ll respond to you but I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.”
He nods and then adds, “I’d like some time alone with him please.”
“Alright.” I go ahead and administer the drug. “I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.”
He waits until I closed the door. That man has a way of making sure others knows what he wants. I wonder, what’s so important? But that’s not my purpose here. If the old man does get to speak to Fujita, that means my experiment is succesful and we can push forward with the next steps.
I stand above him and slowly although I can hardly see it with my eyes, I -feel- him wake up. That must’ve been some powerful medicine to forcibly wake up a man who has deemed himself dead.
“Can you speak Goro?” I ask.
I hear him try to clear his throat and cough a bit. And very hoarse sound comes out, like a man who doesn’t know how to speak.
“Save your strength -stay awake- until this old man is done.”
If I could, I’d stare into his eyes to see what’s really in it. What is the spirit that still lurks there or if there is none. Is this man in front of me even more of a shell than the one that came to me in Aizu just a month ago?
“I came because you didn’t answer, when you knew that I, a blind man would have the power to see beyond here. This place that -you- created.”
I go by the window and look out where there’s only the sun now shining bright. “You created this place because you wanted to -live-. You wanted your children and those you love to have a place – even when you knew that for this place to survive you’d have to allow intruders in. Because what is life but a series of events whether happy or sad or -difficult-?”
Taking a breath I continue, “You already had a past, one to allow you to move on and be with your wife in that wilderness. It was a past that was hardly kind to my daughter but I understand fate has never been kind to her. But what you didn’t expect was that your wife would -not- be your wife but at least your children have always been, but they are also -hers-. And so you created a place not only to live but to not deny the past that -you- had predetermined for the sake of my son’s daughter, Tokio-ko.”
He grunts and I turn to him. “But I suppose I should thank you, that here I am an old man still alive when I should be cold underneath the Earth with my daughter.” I sigh. “But don’t you think it’s a great disservice or rather betrayal that you asked me to live and yet decide to abandon this world you had created? That you had decided to have a past that put my daughter in shame and yet -not- resolve it? That you decide to separate from your wife Tokio-ko to pursue a life with Gennoujou’s daughter? And then drag your entire house both the Yamaguchi and the Fujita to -live- this new life with Yagi-san’s daughter?”
“You…” He shakes his head. “don’t understand. This place… was only because…”
I go to the end of the bed. “Goro. I -know- why you made this place. But even if your reasons are no -more-… Even then when you believed it was -done-, you came back to put things in their proper places.”
But I can only feel him staring back at me as if saying “What’s the point?”
“They say if one looks closely, a man’s life is full of contradictions. You’ve said it yourself, you’ve lived through many life and death battles. That the winner is the one who lives. That to live is to take care of one’s life and be happy.”
I glare at him. “You’ve criticized the Battousai for letting a weak warrior wound him in battle and yet you!” I pick up my cane and point it at his neck, “You’ve allowed others to wound you so easily without even a fight! Is that what you are now Goro? Even if you think you’re not good enough or if they, my daughter, your wife or your lover made you think that – or maybe even those -books-. Your life is only -yours- to live.”
With a sigh I put my cane down. Can I reach him? I came here to try to but I had no expectations I could. “I forbid your children to come here. To see you like this.” Turning away i continue, “And I deemed your woman, unfit to come either. I told her, she’s taken away your will to live.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
Ah finally he answers. The first clear answer I got tonight.
“Ah woman like that who runs away at the drop of a hat or focuses instead about the other worldliness where she has special reach instead of what requires her attention -here-.” I shake my head, “You defend her but isn’t it true you hated waiting for her? Running after her? Or having her recognize you or pay attention to the people in your house?”
“I made her that way. We were always alone and I gave her my sole attention.”
“Until you made this…” I look around at the walls, his will is still strong as everything is still solid even the people, even myself. “I have debated whether to let you rest because no man, extraordinary as he maybe can continue -this-. But in fact I’m -not- asking you to continue but to only put things in their proper places, and then you can do as you wish. Retire. Sleep. Become “no more”.”
I stop by the door, “I’ve told no one you tried to take your life. What you did was -shameful- and -cowardly-. I’m not sure about your wife nor your lover, but -my- daughter deserved better had you only known the -truth-.”
Quietly I vacate the room. Will this man who once was my son still listen to me like I was his own father? I did it because I carry the burden of truth for my daughter.
I heard voices which is a -good- sign. I didn’t bother to listen in, though I’m sure it probably made for some good entertaining drama.
“If you’re done Ueda-san, just follow the rails towards the end of the hallway and you can rest there.” I tell him. I want to check in on my patient. Maybe get a glimpse to see what the effects are of the drug. If it goes well I can give Kawaji-san an update on this man and maybe… Further our “research”.
Going inside, I go by Fujita-san’s bed side but he’s slouched over. Again! Damn it.
(Hide)
I make my way up the many steps to the 4th floor, and turn right. I suppose it’s not a bad place, this hospital… it’s not home. Is this a place men go to die? The other door had an officer at it, and was marked “Prisioners”.
But before I get to the rooms, I see Eiji-san, as well as Akane-san and Ueda-sama. “Have you been to see him? How is he?” I ask.
Ueda-sama just looks -tired-, and I sit next to him, ignoring my throbbing ankle. “Please, don’t rush back to Aizu – stay another night at our home to rest, first.” I look at Akane-san, and then to Eiji-san. “Eiji-san, is there a place here where you could find Ueda-san a cup of tea?” I know that Ueda-sama is proud, and likely stubborn… and feels that he has no further need here. Maybe, maybe not. “Please consider it, our home is always open to our family.” He opened his home to Hajime, once, and many others.
I stand. “I’m going to go see him now.”
Eiji:
“Have you been to see him? How is he?
“Ah no Yagi-san.” I look to where Ueda-sama is seated. “It was deemed best we do not see him.”
Well Akane-san didn’t seem thrilled to go in there but with the strong resistance of Ueda-sama…
Yagi-san asks Ueda-sama to stay but he doesn’t seem to pay much attention to the request.
“Eiji-san, is there a place here where you could find Ueda-san a cup of tea?
“I think I saw a cafeteria downstairs. I’ll go check.” I stand up and am about to leave when I hear her prod the old man some more.
“Please consider it, our home is always open to our family.”
“What family? And what do you need such that you’re asking this now?” His voice is clipped as I watch him grip his cane. “And I don’t I gave you or anyone else here permission to be a visitor. I didn’t even let that young man go see him.”
I blink for a minute and exit out anyway.
Tenma:
Well he went back to sleep. I have another vial I can inject but I need a good excuse. Going inside the waiting room I see we have another visitor.
Maybe this is the excuse I’m waiting for. “Hello Yagi-san. I smile a bit. “Ah you’re here to see Fujita? Of course. Of course.”
“She’s not allowed to see him.” The old man interrupts me. Well isn’t this awkward?
Eiji-san has not seen him? And by “us” I take it to mean Akane-san as well, but I doubt she’d be wanting to go.
What family? And what do you need such that you’re asking this now?
“You’re Goro’s family so you are also mine, as is Eiji-san, Tsutomu-kun, and Yukiko-san, just as much as the girls are. As for what I need, I think of the young lady who is here with you and the one who is not, who would not wish to see you ill after having to attend to this.”
Eiji-san flees the room, and Tenma-sensei enters, all smiles and welcomes. But I’m still forbidden… I nod at the doctor but turn back to Ueda-sama.
“There’s been a lot of secrets kept from him – all with good intentions, I’m sure. Because it was someone else’s secret to tell. Because it was good if he moved on, didn’t look back. Because he shouldn’t be -bothered-.” I look at Ueda-sama. “I’m guilty of that, and perhaps I’m not the only one. It all adds up – one well-meaning lie covered by another… maybe I pushed him off the cliff but many other things lead him to the edge.”
I kneel in front of Ueda-sama, and add, quietly. “He could have left by now – you and I know that – despite what doctors do. He’s still there, holding on for something, and not just to ‘tie things up’. He’s been crying for help and I’m going to do my best to answer it, and if you want to bar me, then I’ll find another way in – and yes, in this world, and yes, no matter what sort of man he is when he wakes up.” In that stern, unforgiving man is a part of the man I fell in love with, just as there is in that disappointed one that came back after death. To deny either or wish for one over the other… is rejection. And I kept doing it to him, and speaking of it to others who love him.
I stand back up and bow to Tenma-sensei. “Please forgive me for bringing family issues into your hospital.” I wait, for permission or another denial from Ueda-sama.
Ueda:
“You’re Goro’s family so you are also mine, as is Eiji-san, Tsutomu-kun, and Yukiko-san, just as much as the girls are. As for what I need, I think of the young lady who is here with you and the one who is not, who would not wish to see you ill after having to attend to this.”
“Lofty words for a woman who only knows to run away.” I squeeze my cane. “And I don’t need you making -me- your excuse for your need to do “good”.”
I hear a gasp from Akane. I truly did not want to speak to her this way but she’s not the only one with an ability to see beyond here and I did not even need to see it to know she left the house yesterday afternoon unable to face those upset with her. Thinking just because I’m an old man and she’s the woman whom my son has chosen, that I’m supposed to be accomodating, kind and loving towards her.
“There’s been a lot of secrets kept from him – all with good intentions, I’m sure. Because it was someone else’s secret to tell. Because it was good if he moved on, didn’t look back. Because he shouldn’t be -bothered-.” “I’m guilty of that, and perhaps I’m not the only one.
And I wonder… “Akane, did you pack up all my belongings earlier or did you mistakenly leave something behind?” I thought I was clear to Akane we were to leave everything as we found it.
“Sorry Ueda-sama… I… I left behind the two boxes.” She tells me and looks at Yagi-san. “Since they were separated from your other belongings, I thought they were meant to be left with the house.”
I take a deep breath. So not only did this woman runaway, even when the answer was shown to her, she chose a deceitful way of going about it.
“He could have left by now – you and I know that – despite what doctors do. He’s still there, holding on for something, and not just to ‘tie things up’. He’s been crying for help and I’m going to do my best to answer it, and if you want to bar me, then I’ll find another way in – and yes, in this world, and yes, no matter what sort of man he is when he wakes up.
“So your best Yagi-san, is -this-?” I look down at her, “Begging me to allow you to see him but just moments ago betraying my family’s confidence and trust? You could’ve asked me directly and I would’ve given it to you but instead you couldn’t face me. I didn’t mind the first time when you focused on the money, I let it go the 2nd time when you didn’t understand…” I knock my cane to the floor, “But this last time you -still- chose… What is it Yagi-san? Is it just poor judgment? you’re in a hurry and lack time? Or perhaps you just can’t admit it to yourself that you don’t care anymore and are just going through the motions?”
“Please forgive me for bringing family issues into your hospital.”
She stands up and bows to Tenma, as if he or rather keeping up appearances is more important right now. I wonder is the pain I’m experiencing right now, the same as Goro’s? Probably not, his is maybe much worse. She may just be a foolish woman, not meaning to do what she’s done. I’m not sure what’s worst.
“Akane! Get up we’re leaving.” I throw Yagi-san and Tenma a glare. If Goro does return, I hope he heeds my advice to put things in order so that at least everyone he’s dragged into this can get some peace.
(OOC: Ueda and Akane is exiting unless something happens that would prevent it)
Ueda-sama castigates me – and as he’s the closest to a parent either Hajime or I have… it hurts as if it were my own father saying these things.
Did I mean to be sneaky to be deceitful… or was I avoiding a confrontation?
What is it Yagi-san? Is it just poor judgment? you’re in a hurry and lack time? Or perhaps you just can’t admit it to yourself that you don’t care anymore and are just going through the motions?
It’s the first two but… not the third. If I wanted this over…. I would have left him alone on the sofa the other night.
In a world that seems to make it clear at every step that I don’t deserve him, that I’ll never be what he needs, despite what I want… this man’s condemnation is one I cannot deny. I lower my head, and hand over the boxes. I had already traded my ring for his watch from Hajime’s box, feeling that I should pay a toll for taking anything from there.
I don’t say anything as they leave. There’s nothing I can say, no defense. I sit down on one of the chairs. Perhaps Tenma-sensei will allow me to stay for a minute before I have to face those stairs.
Maybe…. they’ll let Eiji-san in, despite Ueda-sama’s words. Hajime should hear a friendly voice. I wonder… if he’s still in that cabin of shadows and smoke?
Ueda:
She returns the boxes and I go ahead and take them. I suppose she went through them already, took what she wanted and now “returning” it to my care having not found anything important enough.
“We will never come back to Tokyo again.”
I hand it to Akane and we both leave.
Akane makes apologies but I do not.
(OOC: Ueda and Akane exits)
Tenma:
The old man was fired up and unleashed his wrath on the woman. It’s a sad sight as Yagi-san seems speechless at the entire ordeal. I’m -almost- curious as what’s in those boxes but I’m sure they’re nothing more than personal effects.
Well if he’s not coming back to Tokyo… That means…
“The old man must’ve been upset to see Fujita-san in that condition.” I tell the woman, “Well since you’re here already and no one else is around, do you want to see Fujita-san?”
The woman must mean something to Fujita-san, so I’m willing to let her see him. I want to know if an extra dose will move him or not. I doubt the young man who was here would move Fujita, after all he hardly moved for his “father”. It wouldn’t be worth it.
He takes the boxes.
We will never come back to Tokyo again
I keep my head down as he leaves. I’ll never see him again, I’m certain.
“I’m sorry, Yaso-san,” I whisper.
The old man must’ve been upset to see Fujita-san in that condition
Of course he was. I murmur in agreement, “yes, he was.”
Well since you’re here already and no one else is around, do you want to see Fujita-san?
Standing, I nod. I follow him into a small room, and even though I saw him just yesterday, it’s still a shock seeing him silent and sleeping, almost still. He sleeps, normally, very still and tidy, but there’s an undertone to his skin I’ve never seen before. There’s a… fragility I’ve never seen.
I go over to him, forgetting the doctor, and touch Hajime’s cheek, his lips, softly. It’s then I look over at Tenma-sensei. “Has he not improved at all?”
Tenma:
“Well the conventional methods didn’t seem to work.”
I go to one of the drawers and pull out a vial and syringe. I’m glad she hasn’t noticed the cuts on his fingers and neck.
“We can wake him up.” I go to Fujita’s side and inject the stimulant. “I’ll stay out of the way but I have to be in the room to observe, just in case there’s side effects.”
Moving out of the way I situate myself on the opposite side of the room.
The doctor gives Hajime…. something. I’ll ask later, just as I will about the cuts. Are they… bleeding him? That was falling out of fashion in England as old-fashioned and -harmful-… but I’ll deal with the doctor later. And I know what happened to his neck, we talked about it that last night.
That last night…
I wait, watching Hajime’s face. I brush his hair back, and call his name, softly.
Saitou:
“It’s her.” He tells me as if I don’t know. He suddenly stands up, this one who used to tell me he was better than me.
“Didn’t you say it was a game? Her game?” I ask him.
“I don’t know.”
He turns his head again, looking for the source of the voice. I know where it’s coming from, unlike him that’s been kept prisoner here – I know the egress of this space. It was only moments ago that I met with Ueda-sama after all.
“Why see her?” I ask, “She said it was over and rejected you.”
He grins a little. “Well I’m better than you remember?”
“You’re not even alive anymore.”
“She said I was a shadow, a shell of who I was.” He says and looks at me, “She was looking for -you-. And yet you won’t see her. Nor the other one.”
I sigh and start to smoke. “Having you here is getting annoying.” I tell him, “Go and let me get some rest. You won’t be awake for long anyway.”
Besides -I- decide how we’re going forward. Just like it was my decision to let him out in the first place. He didn’t turn out to be any better.
Tenma:
I hear a cough and then a grunt and so I watch from where I’m sitting. He’s waking but it seems much more forced than earlier with Ueda, where it was gradual. I wonder…
Fujita:
The light from the room seems to blind me and I try to clear my throat as if there’s rocks in it. I hack a bit more before swallowing my own spit. Opening my mouth I let a sound come out. “Hide?”
He blinks as his eyes flutter open, squinting, as he coughs and hacks. My eyes remain on Hajime, but I don’t feel the doctor move. So I reach over to the bedside, where there’s a jug of water. No cups of even a cloth… so I wet my sleeve and wipe his lips.
Hide?
I blink back tears as I hear my name, a rough whisper. “There you are,” I say, softly, touching his hand.
She wets my lips and that’s welcome. I’d probably drown in an ounce of water if I had it right now.
I shut my eyes for a moment to rest but the light seems to still dance inside my eyelids. So I keep them closed but she touches my hand and it stings at the fingertips. Slowly I open my eyes again.
“You shouldn’t have come to this dump.” I say. After all they only send hopeless cases to this doctor.
His fingers seem to twitch a little at my touch, and I realize it’s all of those little cuts. So I keep my hand on top of his, trying to warm it…
You shouldn’t have come to this dump
“It’s not the worst place I’ve found you, ookami-sama,” I say, softly. That dojo, for one. He keeps squinting at the bright light and gives up to close his eyes so I hold my hand up to shade him. It’s bright in here… “At least you can see me here.” As opposed to the cabin of shadows and smoke… but then he had no idea I was there.
I can’t help it… I lean down to kiss him, softly.
Fujita:
“It’s not the worst place I’ve found you, ookami-sama,”
I’d grin have I not be hurting all over. I’ll admit, he’s right that was stupid.
“At least you can see me here.”
“Mmm.” Was all I could answer. I still don’t know how I got here. Is it the doctor at the corner whose looking at some empty syringe or was it -him-?
She leans in to kiss me and I’m a little surprised by that. But I do end up kissing her lightly back and I stare at her for a moment. Didn’t we say we were over?
I clear my throat but I end up coughing. “Better stay away, who knows what I have?”
I bend my fingers a little, touching the palm of her hand. But it’s then that I hear him again calling. Telling me to get her out before he forces me back.
“Tenma.” I say that doctor’s name. “Can you let her know I’ll be up on my feet very soon and so she should be a good girl and go home?”
At my comment, he almost seems like he wants to smile. Or grin. That’s more him, when having escaped death. I gently trace the line up his cheek where the grin would have gone. “I’d like to find you in our home, soon enough.” I say, quietly, as I look at that face.
He kisses me back, and as weak as he seems to be… that must have been a lot of work. He looks at me, and he almost looks confused. Why am I kissing him, when I said it was over?
I learned today what it takes to be over for him. And unlike Yaso-san… I don’t have anything better to let him go -for-, and so I can’t make up a lie to break his heart and make him turn away like she did. I had thought, telling him that he could go anywhere the other night, that he could go back to the beginning of the wilderness, and find a different Tokio… but know I know for this man, that name is forever sullied. Even going back… that’s not an option, any more than me going back to Souji is an option for me. Forward is the only way, and… will that be together? I just look back at him.
Better stay away, who knows what I have?
I glance over at Tenma-sensei. “Perhaps I’m wrong,” I say, nodding to him, “but if you’re going to drain away his blood you need to keep him hydrated? If he’s unconscious and not doing it himself…” I hold in a sigh. He’s clever, but does he actually care about Hajime as a patient, like a good doctor should? I re-wet my sleeve and wipe his lips again.
Can you let her know I’ll be up on my feet very soon and so she should be a good girl and go home?
“Oh, just a little longer… after all, if I go he’ll fall back asleep, and aren’t you staying here to monitor that miracle drug you used?” I smile a bit over at the doctor. I saw Hajime’s eyes dart a bit to the side, after touching my hand. As if… listening to something.
Or someone.
“Just let me stay until he’s sleeping again,” I say, looking back at Hajime. “Then I’ll go home and take care of the family – I can’t make poor Yukiko-san carry that plump daughter of ours all the way to the school.” I smile, softly. “Even if Tsutomu-kun could help on the way back – he complained that he doesn’t get to hold her much, with so many women around.” I look at him. “But I’ll come back tomorrow, and until you’re home.”
I then take his watch out of my obi. “I had to trade for this… but you should be keeping track of time.” I now know it’s not some magical talisman… but it was the first tangible gift I had given him. He had already had my love… only giving him a key to my home was a more important early gift.
I touch his cheek again. “I wish I could give you a song, to go to sleep by.”
Tenma:
These two are definitely a couple aren’t they? If she was merely his mistress I doubt this man would respond to her like that.
She makes mention of my blood letting procedure, that to keep Fujita hydrated. I’d tell her, he’s done much better before the last time he was poisoned, which was a few years ago. “I’ll remember that.” I say in reply.
“Oh, just a little longer… after all, if I go he’ll fall back asleep, and aren’t you staying here to monitor that miracle drug you used?”
I look at -my-watch. The drug should’ve worn off already. “I’m not a miracle doctor, just a very good one.” I look over at Fujita, it’s way past the time I set for the dose I gave him. That’s -interesting-.
Goro:
She refuses to leave but I’m not one to argue, at least not right now. She talks about my daughters, my son and niece. About coming back here.
“I don’t want them to see me like this.” I glance back at her, and again there’s lights playing in my eyes blinding me. I blink them away, “Nor do I want you to.”
She takes out something from her obi and it’s a watch. I left that with the old man. I take it from her and look at it. I hated not being able to tell the time -precisely-.
And it’s that man again reminding me, my encounter with the old man that seemed ages ago now. Yet that old man’s voice is the same as that man’s. The one she loved. Retire. Sleep. Become “no more”, is what he said. I look at the watch again. Quite apt.
“I wish I could give you a song, to go to sleep by.”
I shake my head. “I hate songs.” I tell her truthfully. I never had the “good” ones, unlike him. “I’ll sleep, then you can wait for me at the house. Fujita Goro will find his way there eventually.” Once I figure it out with him. Maybe Tenma can help…
I’m not a miracle doctor, just a very good one
He says so rather matter-of-factly, not bragging… well, still, he’s caring for my Hajime. He -better- do a good job, and not return him any worse for wear. I worry about the nerve damage that bleeding could cause… I also catch him looking at his watch. Am I spending too long?
I don’t want them to see me like this. Nor do I want you to
“I’m already here, and I’ve seen you in all sorts of shapes,” I say, quietly. “And you’re the one who held me while I sweated all over you when Ai-chan came into this world.” But I understand that it’s more than that, for him, for any of us to see him like this. Does he know that I know what brought him here? He probably has no memory of Misao-san and the dojo, or my attempts…
I pick up his hand and kiss the back of it. “But I’ll come by, every day. As long as I’m allowed.” I glance over at Tenma-sensei. Ueda-sama neither allowed me or banned me, but I suppose Hajime could… or this doctor may. “I need to know that you’re getting better.”
He hates songs? I must look confused at that statement. But I know I’m probably talking to one or the other… and if they’re parts of the same man, then they probably both have his habit of being critical about the best things about him, such as the songs. “I love your songs,” I say, softly. “They’ve helped me when I’ve been sad, or made me smile on happy days. They helped me endure those long nights, before you came to look for me.” Six long years, it was…
I’ll sleep, then you can wait for me at the house. Fujita Goro will find his way there eventually
I lean down and kiss him again, tenderly, and only lingering -a bit-, wishing it could reach all of him, even the most doubting of his doubting voices. Not that a kiss can fix much, and even love needs more than words and longing gazes to change the world… or to heal a man long injured by the misuse of it. “Fujita Goro is needed and wanted at home.” I look into his eyes and say so only he can hear, “Hime-sama needs her Ookami-sama, her samurai-san.” I then add, “and in that house of smoke and shadows… a woman was outside. I think she lingers not to wait for your death, but she left -unsettled-.” I blink back tears, as the memory of it still makes me…. “she was so kind.”
I sit back up, and wet his lips again, and then wipe his face. “But until then, rest.”
Goro:
She talks about our time together, those events both good and bad. And she looks at Tenma asking with her eyes if in fact she could come by.
“I need to know that you’re getting better.”
“I’m better.” I tell her, “and there’s many things to do.” Okita for one and I haven’t forgotten about Yukiko.
And she tells me she loves my songs. I don’t like them because the ones I’ve had lately was even worst than him. I told him I hated his songs, but the ones I found were a thousand times worst.
“You can listen to songs if it makes you feel better.” Mine hardly did so, except to bury me deeper and deeper.
She kisses me again, a bit longer this time which I enjoy a bit, closing my eyes. Doesn’t she remember we’re not alone here? And is this just a product of being separated or the potential of being permanently of? I don’t know.
“Fujita Goro is needed and wanted at home.”
Well at least she didn’t reject my name or it didn’t sound the way it did when she used it last.
and in that house of smoke and shadows… a woman was outside. I think she lingers not to wait for your death, but she left -unsettled-.” …. “she was so kind.”
I wonder… I had told him the other one was there but he refused her. -I- would’ve met her, but the one this woman loves refused to. Was she kind? I don’t know but -I- would find out, because unlike him, I can handle the truth. And I hear him mock me, asking so why did I end up -here-. But I say nothing to Hide about this.
Suddenly I feel a great tug, a reminder that I’m still pulled strongly to the sleeping world. It must be him. “I’ll go to sleep now.” I tell her. “Tenma, see her out but wake me up later.” I remind him, because whatever he’s doing seems to work against the other one.
(Ooc you may close)
I’m better. And there’s many things to do.
Work? Or… is he still trying to ‘wrap up things’? He then dismisses the songs… sounding distant as he tells me that I can listen if I want.
But he says nothing to anything else I say, only looking tired, and his eyes again flicker, and I wonder what the other voice says. And then his eyes droop.
“I’ll leave you to rest… but I’m not letting you go,” I say, at the door. After all… she said that he wasn’t ready yet. But how long until he can wake up again? And what will happen when he does? Will he be pushing us all to the endings he’s decided for us? Or… will he want to actually live again? I would forgive him for the first, since I sent him down that path, or at least made it open again. But… I want the latter.
I exit with Tenma-sensei. Maybe he’ll answer some of my questions.
(OOC – end)