It seems there’s a lot I missed but it can’t be helped. When Hide was kidnapped, everything stopped and was in disarray. Yukiko admitted to helping Tsutomu send money to Aizu a couple of times and even helped him get his job at the Akabeko back, now that they’re short handed after Eiji quit the job. Apparently that belligerent young man found some decency in him to not go harrasing my niece again and she’s spoken to Hide about trying to be friends with a certain Tsubame. I didn’t say no, when it came to these types of friendships, it’s difficult to put barriers especially if all I have to go on is my own perceptions and prejudices. I’ve never been able to stop Eiji from associating closely with them, much less can I stop Hide nor Yukiko nor my son.
I light another cigarette as I smoke by the window, making sure to blow out the smoke outside so it doesn’t permeate the room and wake my sleeping child. I glance briefly at Ai-chan and think to myself, how wonderful that she’s so young that she’s blind and shielded from all of it. And my hope is that by the time she’s Makoto’s age or even less, that all matters have been settled and she just knows to grow up as our daughter in -my- house… whether that’s a Fujita or Yamaguchi. Maybe by then her older siblings would’ve found their places too… But maybe not Makoto, she’d only be 11 or 12 by then.
But how can he find his place? His house is gone. And Yukiko tells me, he resents that there is no one here who seems to regard his mother well. I sigh and suck tightly on my cigarette. All Yukiko could manage at the time was she didn’t know his mother well but she didn’t think badly of her. She just didn’t -know- her. But isn’t that the same problem I had? I didn’t know the person I married. I had -ideas- of what she could be but not of who she really was… And after I peeled back the layers, it was too late for all of us.
I come back to our room after preparing tea and medicine that Yukiko-san offered to take upstairs – she caught me coming down and was gently fussing at me.
Hajime smokes by the window, letting the smoke blow out. I limp in on my cane.
I sit down on the bed. “I… don’t think that went well.” I close my eyes for a minute. “Also, he’s running a fever. Yukiko-san took something up to him, but I’ll go back and check on him shortly.”
The door to our room opens quietly and it’s Hide. I wait for her to sit down and tell me what I already know. I flick my cigarette out the window and go sit beside her. I reach over and hold her hand for a minute.
“It doesn’t usually go well.” I tell her, “I know. What’s important is you did it. Thank you.”
The truth was I was worried for taking her to task. But her reaction to that of Tokio’s? Tokio ran away, while Hide is still here.
“Don’t go up there. He’s not fragile. Let his other siblings take care of it.” I reach over and fix two pillows, one towards the headboard and the other to where we sit. “Lay down? Then I can slip this other pillow to raise your ankle so it doesn’t swell too much.”
(OOC – will reply tomorrow)
It doesn’t usually go well. I know. What’s important is you did it. Thank you
He takes my hand and I’m glad for the touch, the reassurance. And the reassurance in his words. “And what’s important… is to keep doing it.”
“I told him that he’s going to have to help out more around the house – we’re putting too much on Yukiko-san. After all… I made the wrong call, when he came here. I spared him from the chores I’d expect a son of the house to do, even those for his personal items. I thought if I made it easy for him… he’d be happier.” I look over at Hajime. “He agreed, though. So I’ll be teaching laundry methods tomorrow.”
Let his other siblings take care of it
I shake my head. “How many other times has Eiji-san taken care of him? No… I’ll go up there later.” It’s what a mother does. As Yuubo said, the Yagis have been very healthy, and Makoto seems to be following our tradition, but she’s still given me those nights of worry.
I let him arrange me and the pillows. “Maybe some of the ice, if it can be spared? This was my first trip up the stairs.” I smile over at him, and brush my fingertips along his jaw. “You take good care of me.” And tonight, even if his words were harsh, they were -needed-.
“And what’s important… is to keep doing it.”
I nod maybe a bit too solemnly.
I thought if I made it easy for him… he’d be happier.” I look over at Hajime. “He agreed, though. So I’ll be teaching laundry methods tomorrow.”
“He wouldn’t be happier, after all he wouldn’t know the difference as he hardly did any chores even with his mother.” I grin a little at the mention of laundry, “If you actually did a lot of laundry for the men back in the day, you can tell him that story.” Of course no one ever did mine, I was too particular about my fudonshi.
She refuses to leave the rest for tonight and of course after the words were said, I wanted to take all of it back. Give in. Let her settle down and forget we have things to work on. I want to say no because of that but also because of her swelling foot.
“Maybe some of the ice, if it can be spared? This was my first trip up the stairs.”
“I’m sorry.” I kiss her lips for a moment, “I should’ve carried you up there earlier.” Though I’m sure if Tomu saw the sight, would he have taken her any seriously? “I’ll get you some ice and we’ll wrap up that ankle.”
Leaving her for a moment, I disappear into the kitchen where I see Eiji just returned. I take a smaller block of ice and start picking at it until I got just the right sized pieces.
“Father, I was thinking now that everything seems to be back to normal, I’ll be going back to live in the Machiya later this week.”
I shake my head, “Actually I want you to stay here. In fact I was thinking of letting that place go back to the owner.”
“Oh really?” He looks at me surprised, “Then I should get my belongings and find another place…”
“No no.” I say and wrap the ice, “I’ll have your things brought back here. No need for you to burden the old man.”
“Is there a problem sir?”
“Just trying to be more economical and we could really use you around here for now.” I look at him, “It’s different when there’s a man in the house when I’m away.”
He nods slowly and I simply nod back as I leave. Of course it was a lie, I needed the place to house Aioi, to keep her away from Shindou until the time I need her again. I open the door to our room and go back to tending to Hide’s ankle, wrapping it in a cool cloth first before adding the ice and wrapping it again to keep it in place.
“Eiji just got back.” I tell her.
He wouldn’t be happier, after all he wouldn’t know the difference as he hardly did any chores even with his mother.
“Ah, well, then it’s time he learned,” I say. I grin at the mention of laundry in the old days. “And the proper way of being a man is the proper cleaning of his fundoshi,” I say. “And as for washing…. well, why do you think I was always so quick to want to work in the kitchen?” I laugh. But if my mother did it, she never said a word about it.
I’m sorry. I should’ve carried you up there earlier.
He doesn’t argue with me about returning upstairs. I know he’d rather rest, but I’ll have all day tomorrow to do so. “It’s fine – I have to be able to get up the stairs, and I shouldn’t be… afraid of the strain.” I smile, “even though I do like being carried by you.”
He leaves me for a minute, and comes back with ice and wraps it well. A sigh escapes me, a pleased one, as the cool cloth and ice ease the throbbing. It will take time for the swelling, but any relief is good at this point.
“Oh, good. Do you think he can sleep down in the tatami room? I have a spare futon in there. Then I won’t disturb him while I keep an eye on Tsutomu-kun.”
She seems to relax after I fix up that ankle and foot. I’m -glad-. I go back to a previous comment she made about not being afraid. “You new doctor will probably demand more than I ever could. That man looks persistent.”
I leave her leg alone and light a cigarette as she asks me about Eiji.
“Sure he can sleep in the tatami room. It’s probably best so he doesn’t catch whatever Tomu has.” I blow a smoke out. “By the way I was thinking maybe Eiji can stay here for the longer term. There’s no sense for him to stay at the machiya and it will be good to have him around, if I’m sent away.”
You new doctor will probably demand more than I ever could. That man looks persistent.
“He doesn’t know my motivations,” I say with a soft smile. Not just… that, but to be able to do what I did before. It’s funny how one takes for granted, getting up and down the stairs until it becomes a struggle.
I sit up as best I can with my leg propped up as he talks about Eiji-san. “I would like that, and even though it’s Tsutomu-kun’s favorite study space, I’ll make the tatami room Eiji-san’s space.” I don’t want to ask Yukiko-san to double up with Makoto again, she needs some peace and rest from this family -sometime-.
“But… you think you’ll be sent away again?” I look over at him. “Is it something new, or still wrapping up my case?” Although I know there’s more to “my” case than just me – the paper today had something about sudden resignations in the Finance Ministry, including one who was detained after being at Kano’s horrid little party.
“He doesn’t know my motivations,”
I see that soft smile but all I care about is she keep her promise. The rest we can figure out later.
“I would like that, and even though it’s Tsutomu-kun’s favorite study space, I’ll make the tatami room Eiji-san’s space.”
“You don’t think those two can share a room?” I almost groan. We’ll never get our tatami room back will we?
She asks if I’m being sent away again and for a moment I worry. I suppose there are little cues that I’ve picked up from Tokio over the years, some of worry, others of annoyance. I’m not sure with Hide at the moment. “I… Don’t have a clear view yet of where your case will land but I’m monitoring it.” There’s one man that’s proving to be elusive but it’s not clear yet how he’s affecting those in Osaka but I don’t tell Hide this.
I grin slightly at Hide, “Well I don’t think I’ll be sent away anytime soon. I know Kawaji wants me to catch up on a few things.” I can feel my face darken somewhat as I remember, there’s also Shindou to take care of… And outside of work, there’s Yamakawa and the Battousai… Although the Battousai may not be too difficult considering…
“Will any of your friends be visiting? That Frau Sussanah and the Tanuki?”
You don’t think those two can share a room?
“We should have had a second story built onto the addition…” I smile. “But nobody else in -this- room! Besides… we’ll just have to sneak off sometimes.” But I can -feel- his reluctance to give up the room. “Or maybe he can have the formal room – it’s not used that often, either.” But since Aizu people like to drop by and expect a certain -standard-…
He’s keeping an eye on my case but he still seems reluctant to talk about it. “I just want to know,” I say, quietly. “I knew so little -while- it was happening, that I don’t want to be in the dark about how it ends.”
Well I don’t think I’ll be sent away anytime soon. I know Kawaji wants me to catch up on a few things.
“Bury you in paperwork?” I tease, but I see his face darkening, and he’s not listening. I sit up enough so that I can kiss him, softly. “But what else? I see trouble on your face and… I can try to kiss it away -or- we can talk about it, and -then- kiss,” I say, brushing his bangs back.
As to his question… “I don’t think that Himura-san is a friend,” I admit. “Our last visit went -badly-… but Kenji-kun seems to like visiting Makoto. And I wrote a thank you note to Frau Susanna, so she may visit. She did a great job on my exercise costume, after all.” I look up, and then over to him with a grin, “although I think some ‘leggings’ from the writers time would suit me as well, even if it’s…. tighter.”
Ooc reply tom
“But nobody else in -this- room! Besides… we’ll just have to sneak off sometimes.”
I look around in this room. It’s not a bad room but we’ve hardly been able to make it ours yet. And even now we share it with our child.
“Or maybe he can have the formal room – it’s not used that often, either.”
With this the groan truly escapes me and I look at her. I’ve barely been able to make that room presentable, a place for us to show what’s important to those who visit and even to ourselves. I was just starting to like coming back home and sitting quietly in there while everyone’s gone asleep.
“It seems at some point we will outgrow this house. The grounds are good but the house itself feels cramped.” And I’m not about to throw out my niece and Eiji cannot return tot he machiya. I need the machiya for my work.
Our talk turns to her case which I know she worries about and I do too but it’s been curiously difficult to get regular updates. I temper my impatience, this is normal after all. “You won’t be in the dark. I promise you you’ll get your justice.” One way or the other. I’ll make sure of it. I sigh, “I know the way it ended was unsatisfying. You can no longer question those who took you and the one’s who remain were merel gilded obssessive narcissists.”
Of course I don’t mention that other two who remain at large, so willing to take her life. Him and her were no different than those in Osaka. I’ll have to check up on the Battousai from time to time.
“But what else? I see trouble on your face and… I can try to kiss it away -or- we can talk about it, and -then- kiss,”
I shake my head. “Trouble never leaves my line of work remember?” I lean in and return her kiss, “If you wait until these troublesome thoughts subside, we’ll never get to the main event. Not that we could…” I inhale deeply and sit back slightly away.
She talks about her friends. It’s likely because of my history and reputation that my wife and daughter can’t have normal relationships with others except for foreigners or truly unique individuals. “Well just don’t wear anything too tight next week when Howard comes to visit.”
He groans. “We -just- started getting that room done,” I tell him. “We can wait a little longer.” After all, it sat there empty during our first tenure here.
It seems at some point we will outgrow this house. The grounds are good but the house itself feels cramped
“It’s starting to feel that way – once Ai-chan is old enough, she’ll be sharing with Makoto…” And I’m not sure of either Yukiko-san or Eiji-san’s path, so our home is theirs until they do, and even once they find what that is… they should always have a place to go back to. “But do you think we can find something bigger? In this neighborhood? It’s good for both your work and the school.” I take his hand. “We have so many memories, here, though. It’ll take a lot of time to um… break in a new place.” Then I frown. “Maybe… with higher walls. Very strong locks.” Maybe then the little worries about our safety here will finally fade?
You won’t be in the dark. I promise you you’ll get your justice
And I know he means that. “Thank you,” I say, squeezing his hand.
If you wait until these troublesome thoughts subside, we’ll never get to the main event. Not that we could…
“True, true,” I say, noticing that he backs off. “Soon,” I say, softly. “I want to… but going as gently as we had to in Kyoto wasn’t our usual style. We tend to be… uninhibited.” I grin, and touch my side. “But this seems to be healing fast.”
Well just don’t wear anything too tight next week when Howard comes to visit
“Oh, no worries there,” I say. “Model Meiji housewife on that day, no shorts or leggings,” I laugh.
“We -just- started getting that room done,” I tell him. “We can wait a little longer.”
I nod, thankful she agrees. It may not be the heart of our home, I think before it was the tatami room and now maybe that honor is shared with our kitchen. But it’s the quiet place I’ve always wanted to just sit there quietly in front of the alcove.
“But do you think we can find something bigger? In this neighborhood? It’s good for both your work and the school.” I take his hand. “We have so many memories, here, though. It’ll take a lot of time to um… break in a new place.”
“Well we don’t have to move -yet-. I’d rather see where everyone ends up being, for all we know it may end up being just the four of us.” Then suddenly her tone changes about walls and locks. I squeeze her hand, “We can put all those things here, but even high walls and strong locks won’t help a troubled mind.” She’s never seen the home Tokio and I shared. It’s high walls and impenetrability didn’t stop uninvited guests and only made her feel more caged in.
She seems content with my answer about her case. For now that’s all I can give her.
But our talk turns into us being intimate again and that time in Kyoto. I grimace a little about the pace. She indicates her side and tells me it’s healing. I’m glad. I could take a look at it but I want to take her word for it tonight. “Let’s give it another week and then maybe I can try -something-.”
She tells me about being a model wife and I grin. What is a model wife after all? One that does her husband’s bidding? Takes care of the children? Does gardening, cooking and laundry?
I go back and inspect her ankle, the swelling has gone down but I keep it elevated nevertheless . “My offer still stands about carrying you up the stairs but if you decide to go on your own, I -want- you back here to sleep. No staying up to dote on that stubborn boy.”
(OOC you can close unless Hide asks to be carried upstairs, then Saitou will go with her to Tsutomu’s room)
I’m glad that he’s willing to wait and see how our space issues work out. It will be a while, after all, on some things (like Ai-chan going upstairs!) and the rest? Who knows.
But the four of us sounds nice but… I would miss them all. -Terribly-.
We can put all those things here, but even high walls and strong locks won’t help a troubled mind
“You’re right,” I say, “it’s just hard not to worry… but I can’t let it take over, can I? And I don’t want to end up… locked away from the world. And… if the walls are too high, there won’t be sunlight for my garden.” I smile at that.
Let’s give it another week and then maybe I can try -something-.
With that, just those words and my heart starts beating faster. “A week… I think maybe then, yes, -something-.” After all, I didn’t miss that -face- he made when I talked about Kyoto. I knew when I initiated it that it wasn’t going to be our usual sort, but I craved him in a way that went beyond passion.
No staying up to dote on that stubborn boy
“I’ll dote if that fever doesn’t break,” I say. “But I’ll take that trip up the stairs – otherwise, I don’t know how much good I’ll be once I get there.”
And I don’t want to end up… locked away from the world. And… if the walls are too high, there won’t be sunlight for my garden.”
I nod. So I guess she would’ve felt locked up, similar to Tokio, but would she runaway? I simply sport a smile as she turns the talk to her garden. At least she seemed pleased on the possibility of us doing something more than holding hands in a week, that helps me to grin.
“But I’ll take that trip up the stairs – otherwise, I don’t know how much good I’ll be once I get there.”
“Alright Hime.” I stand up and bend down scooping her in my arms and placing her arms around my neck. I start to walk over the door and manage to grab the cane -barely-. Making our way up the stairs. I settle her down and open the door slightly. Eiji is already sleeping on the far side of the room, but the other futon is vacant and Tomu is sitting on the window sill.
“Thankfully, he’s more like a monkey unlike his clumsy brother.” I kiss my wife’s cheek. “I’ll -wait- for you downstairs.”
(OOC: Saitou will exit unless there’s something else. Tomu will generally do what Hide says tonight so you can direct him he won’t put up a fight.)
I’m not so worse for wear after Hajime’s careful attention in carrying me upstairs. He shouldn’t be straining his shoulder – but neither of us are as well as we should be right now.
Eiji-san sleeps… Quietly, I go over to where Tsutomu-kun sits by the window. “You drank up the medicine I sent?” The cup is empty, so I hope so. I put my hand on his forehead again. Still warm, but not -hotter-, and his eyes don’t have that glassy feeling.
“Please go to bed now – you may be stubborn enough to fight this off,” I say with a bit of a smile. “But I’ll check on you again, tonight.” Hajime won’t like it… but it’s a compromise as he doesn’t want me up here all night and Tsutomu-kun was unwilling to move.
“We will also go shopping in the next week or so – you’re going to need something warmer and waterproof with the weather changing, and I doubt last year’s coat fits.” Makoto needs one too – do they have to have a certain type for school? Also, probably time for new shoes for both. I’ll find the money somehow…
“But don’t worry about that now. Is there anything else I can get you?” I wait for him to lie down, and pull the blankets up over him. “Otherwise, rest.”
I don’t say much but just do as I’m told until I’m tucked in. She’s fussing but why? I’m fine. Just hotter than usual.
We will also go shopping in the next week or so – you’re going to need something warmer and waterproof with the weather changing, and I doubt last year’s coat fits.”
“I haven’t done my chores yet to pay for the coat.” I remind her. “Besides i want the money more than a new coat or anything else. ”
I sigh as she asks if I need anything else, “He’s not providing for you or Makoto and we’re free loading here so you shouldn’t keep offering.”
I turn to the side. I guess I’ll try to go to sleep. “You don’t have to check up on me. I’m feeling much better. Thank you. ” Maybe that will stop her from abusing her foot.
(Ooc you can close)
I haven’t done my chores yet to pay for the coat
“You’re getting a new coat, just as Makoto-chan will be.” He says that again that Hajime’s not providing for us… why did he tell him? But I’m not going to argue with him now.
Tsutomu-kun turns away, so I turn off the light and close the window. He tells me not to come up… well… we’ll see about that.
“Goodnight,” I say, closing the door behind me. Hajime is downstairs… and so I take the safest way for my tired ankle, and scoot down, step by step, on my bottom.
(OOC – close)