We barely made it here. I swing the door open and replace her arm back onto my shoulder as she mostly hops on her one foot. I settle her down on the gray sofa with the chaise and have her in a half-sitting position, placing the last of the throw pillows around her.
“Just get some rest. I’ll get you some wraps. Then once you’re a bit more rested you can change out of those clothes.”
It’s almost the evening and this condo is bare, so after closing the door, I open the sliding door out to the balcony to let the light and breeze in. It has a good view of the water and the sun setting that I hope might make her feel better.
Going to my closet, it’s mostly empty except for a couple of change of clothes but thankfully there is still a set of bathrobes. So I take that out and a clean shirt that will probably be a little big for her.
In the bathroom I rummage through the medicine cabinet looking for something to put on her ankle and left hand. But all I found were old medicine chinese balms for “muscle aches and other pains” but at least I found some wraps. If these don’t work, I’ll use ice but these should be better than ice alone. But maybe I should call in a doctor?
I place items on the table beside and realize she should at least drink some water before anything else. So I get up and go to the refrigerator and then realize I’ve only left a pack of ham, eggs and a couple packs of beer and nothing else. So I take some filtered water from the refrigerator and the ham in case she was hungry. I take a tray and place it beside her on the table.
“Drink or eat something, then I’ll start wrapping your hand and ankle.”
I go to get myself a beer and light my cigarette but immediately after the phone rings. I groan a little wondering who can it be at a time like this?
So I chug on my beer and go to the opposite wall and say gruffly “What do you want?”
Oh… It’s my realtor. “Sorry I’m a little tired.” I tell him and reach for one of the ashtrays that littered the place.
He’s telling me he has a very interested buyer for this place.
“Uhuh. But I have someone over. I can’t show the place tonight or tomorrow. When? Well I don’t know. Maybe next week.”
He tells me it’s important I keep up interest in the condo. That getting all the offers at the same time is good for a bidding war so I -need- to show this condo.
“Yes I know I said I wanted it disposed off quickly. But how about this, have those buyers wait until next week then they can all see it together? I don’t really care how much we get for this place.”
He starts to say more things but I put the phone down. Some people can’t take a hint or rather a message and I go finish up my bottle of beer and take quick puffs before taking in a long drag on my cigarette before putting it out. Ah that’s more like it.
That done, I go back to Hide and start unrolling the wraps. “Did you eat? You might want to. These tiger balms stink and you might not want to eat after.”
We’re in the world of Glass and Steel. His place. Did we ever come here? We tended to meet in beauty spots, where we could spend some time together, maybe even finish a dinner… but that was long ago. A woman, well-dressed and groomed, undoing her hair, laughing, dancing. A man, with a confident grin, bantering back. I blink.
Not like now, with this dirty, battered woman, and a man who has been through how many hells? In maybe just the past few days?
Just get some rest. I’ll get you some wraps. Then once you’re a bit more rested you can change out of those clothes
He settles me carefully on the sofa and I look around. It’s all sparse, as if nobody actually lives here. He goes into the other room, and brings out an armful of clothes, and then, some food, in the form of water and ham.
Then there’s a phone call, and I wonder about what sort of life is happening here. I drink some of the water and pick at the ham, but since it’s been… days since I ate, probably, my mouth feels awkward, as if I’ve forgotten chewing. I try not to listen. After, he finishes a beer and a cigarette before coming back.
Did you eat? You might want to. These tiger balms stink and you might not want to eat after
“A little, thank you,” I say. I look at him, drinking in the sight of this man, alive and well. It’s all I wanted for him. “It’s good to see you alive,” I say, softly. I reach out for the hand that is putting balm on my foot, with such care, and brush my fingers across his knuckles. I don’t know why… I never once needed a reason to touch him, I just did. But today… I just want confirmation that this is real, this moment.
She confirms she ate but that’s not really food. “I’ll get us some dinner later, after I finish up here you can sleep in the bed.” She’s been here before, spent the night once. But it doesn’t matter – it was a long time ago.
“It’s good to see you alive,”
I nod. I guess I am alive. Maybe.
She touches me and I let her but I don’t let it get in the way of my finishing up her ankle and foot in a wrap. The smell of the balm is strong and permeates but I hope it helps. It’s said she’ll always walk with some limp after this? I should call someone later. Maybe they’ll do home service like that doctor in Tokyo? Ah that too is the past and that’s a different place, here it takes weeks to see a doctor unless you drive yourself to an “emergency room”.
Her foot done, I start working on her left hand. The fingers looked like they’ve taken an earlier injury but it seemed to have healed first. I take each finger and bend it slightly, just a little and she’ll be able to use them. I don’t know to what extent but the wrist is in worst shape so after applying the balm, I wrap her wrist and hand a bit more tightly for support.
“I don’t know how long you plan to stay here but if you are for a couple of days maybe a bone specialist can look at you.” I place her hand down and take another beer from the ref and start drinking and turn on the TV. I flip through the channels and realize I cut off the cable… Right…
Sitting down, I try to find a show she might like but I couldn’t find any women or gardening shows, so I settled for my usual re-run of men out in the high ocean catching crabs? Ah well. I light a cigarette. “Let me know when you want me to move you to the bed.”
He’s silent as he rubs down and wraps my ankle, and then my hand. I wince when he does the little finger. “That was dislocated first,” I say, but it works, along with the others. When he’s done, I curl up a little, as my side with the gunshot still hurts and remains bandaged.
I don’t know how long you plan to stay here but if you are for a couple of days maybe a bone specialist can look at you.
“This doesn’t look like a place you’re staying long,” I say, looking around. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t place it – it had been night, and looked lived-in. Tidy, of course, but more vibrant than this.
I look over at the man, who is now watching some show where men on boats are yelling about fish. The smoke from his cigarette seems to create a wall between us…
I remember other nights, other fights. We never came to this place to fight – it was for times of celebration, of getting away.
Time is precious. After tomorrow, when a letter arrives, we may not even have this, this time of dangling conversations and superficial sighs. I reach over and take the remote, muting the show that his eyes are fixed on but he doesn’t seem to really watch.
“During… I was scared, so scared. They attacked my body; in sleep, even there I wasn’t safe, because of the Judgement. But worse… was the ticking of the clock, the passing of the time… but all I wanted was the last of my time with you. I was angry, it was being stolen. When I saw you again, in the flames… oh…” That imposter called me a fool, for smiling while there was a blade to my neck.
“If we had to end, I thought, when I was in the garden, the night I was taken… we’d figure it out. A way that was true to both of us. If time was running out… I just wanted to spend it with you, our family. There would be tears… but there always was. There was always trouble, or pain… but it was still a beautiful world. You gave me that.”
“I wanted to be a good woman… you deserved better.” I look down at my hands, and hand him the remote back. It was my sister, or the shadow that said if I survived to see him again, I should expect only pity. Of course, they had no idea, that’s never what he gave me. It was kindness.
“This doesn’t look like a place you’re staying long,”
“It’s not. I’m in the process of selling it.” It’s the last place I’d have tied to our world or was our world. I think. I told myself I’d just go like those fishermen and try my luck in the open seas not tied to anything.
But the sound goes out and see she’s muted the TV.
I look at her as she starts speaking. About how she was attacked. That she was scared. Of course she should be. Even I was afraid for her sake.
But worse… was the ticking of the clock, the passing of the time… but all I wanted was the last of my time with you. I was angry, it was being stolen. When I saw you again, in the flames… oh…”
“I’m sorry it took a while to find you. The weasel did a good job. She heard your screams.” I tell her, “And as for the timing who knows? It always comes at it’s worst but it would’ve likely happened at some point.” Because she’s tied to me.
If time was running out… I just wanted to spend it with you, our family. There would be tears… but there always was. There was always trouble, or pain… but it was still a beautiful world. You gave me that.”
“Are you sure?” I didn’t want to broach this subject, not when she doesn’t even look like she’s half-way recovered. “Because it didn’t seem a world that you wanted.”
“I wanted to be a good woman… you deserved better.”
I’m handed the remote back. “Maybe… But they were all rather lacking, you did better than most.”
I go back and turn on the volume but only half-way. “I want you to recover fully, the use of your hands and the way you walk. When you go to your future at least that. I don’t care much about how you wear your hair.”
He’s selling this place? But where does that leave for him?
I’m sorry it took a while to find you. The weasel did a good job. She heard your screams
She did? “I’m glad for her help,” I say. I know she was with my sister, when she dragged us both to this world to save us. The same sister who decided that it was time for me to die.
It always comes at it’s worst but it would’ve likely happened at some point.
It did.
Are you sure? Because it didn’t seem a world that you wanted.
“I wanted the world… but when your life is a game… no, it’s not the rules. It’s the way that I could never seem to reach you. That every time I spoke to you, it had to have a -purpose-. I couldn’t just… enjoy you. Or tell you the stories that I had to put in my diary instead. Not so much the Souji ones, but… the stories that were about me – where I came from, who I am.” I look out the window, at the grey skies, and I lean my head back against the cushion. “I wonder… how many mornings we woke up together but were never aware of, because the day wasn’t “played”? Because there was no reason for us just to lie together, for one of us to wake up first and watch the sun illuminate the other. Boring. A waste of her time, I suppose.” I close my eyes. “And I was always worried – scared – that a deviation would bring punishment, a punishment that could hurt you, keep you from work, or make it go wrong.” I let out a breath. “In protecting you… I lost you.”
Maybe… But they were all rather lacking, you did better than most.
“You deserved better,” I say. It’s faint praise. I can put it on my grave, I suppose.
He turns the volume back on. He speaks of my recovery, my future…. and that he doesn’t care about my hair.
“Then I should see to a doctor, when possible. I’d also like to wash, before I sleep.” It had been a while since the morning of the noxious rose soap. “I’ll also need to re-bandage my side.”
“I’m glad for her help,”
“Me too. She kept giving me this oniwaban grass…” I shake my head, “Thank her for me. I’d never gotten to you without her help.”
She doesn’t say much about the timing. She knows, just like I probably why it happened.
“I wanted the world… but when your life is a game… no, it’s not the rules. It’s the way that I could never seem to reach you. That every time I spoke to you, it had to have a -purpose-. I couldn’t just… enjoy you. Or tell you the stories that I had to put in my diary instead
I ash my cigarette and then take a drag. “Maybe you just didn’t have the time. Too tired maybe? Did I ever stop you from speaking to me? When you made yourself available – did I not drop by?”
how many mornings we woke up together but were never aware of, because the day wasn’t “played”? Because there was no reason for us just to lie together, for one of us to wake up first and watch the sun illuminate the other. Boring. A waste of her time, I suppose.”
I shake my head, “Maybe there wasn’t a reason for -you- to wake up first. I certainly took your mornings without needing a purpose or waiting for you to tell me to. If that’s your line of thinking then I guess what I’ve done was -bore- you to death.”
“And I was always worried – scared – that a deviation would bring punishment, a punishment that could hurt you, keep you from work, or make it go wrong.” I let out a breath. “In protecting you… I lost you.”
“You lost me not because you were trying to protect me but because you were afraid to live with me. Maybe not afraid, maybe it just wasn’t what you wanted anymore.” I stub out the cigarette. “I’m sorry we need to stop. It’s done that world is no more. I’ve died there and you’ve moved on. I only brought you here because I won’t go to your future and your lover and sister tried to do you evil. I couldn’t look away.”
““Then I should see to a doctor, when possible. I’d also like to wash, before I sleep.” “I’ll also need to re-bandage my side.”
“Here, I’ll help you to the washroom.” I hold out my hand to her. Hopefully she knows where everything is, the last time she was here she locked herself in there. “There’s already a bath robe and shirt for you.”
Maybe you just didn’t have the time. Too tired maybe?
I look away. “I think those two statements are meant by someone else to someone else. It’s hard, having four in this relationship. If they were able to talk… then that Friday wouldn’t have been missed, I could have welcomed you home and we’d not be here.”
Did I ever stop you from speaking to me? When you made yourself available – did I not drop by?
“I felt the game wouldn’t allow it. Once, in the old days… I always felt free just to post something about how I adored you.” I look at the raindrops, chasing down the glass. “But I can’t put the blame on you, or her, or her. I was the one who loved you, after all. Who should have done more.”
If that’s your line of thinking then I guess what I’ve done was -bore- you to death
“No… you were my thrill, my -delight-. Every moment, even the most mundane… But I thought that she found me boring.” I shake my head. “Boring Hide, she cooks, she cleans. She made him happy and wanted to fool around too much. A shallow woman, unworthy of Saitou-sama.”
You lost me not because you were trying to protect me but because you were afraid to live with me. Maybe not afraid, maybe it just wasn’t what you wanted anymore
“It’s what I wanted. If you told me we could go back, I’d go in an instant.” I wipe my eyes. “I know now, the story she wanted. To make me think that you’d been unfaithful to me. To test me, again. I wasn’t afraid of that. Even if everyone thought me naive, foolish… I would have believed in you.”
He holds out his hand and I stand, but put my arms around him. “I don’t deserve this kindness, to have been saved when I deserved that fate,” I say, sobbing into his shirt. “But the last grain of hope in the core of me won’t let you go, even though I know I -must-. I thought if I loved you enough, it would be enough.”
“I think those two statements are meant by someone else to someone else. It’s hard, having four in this relationship. If they were able to talk… then that Friday wouldn’t have been missed, I could have welcomed you home and we’d not be here.”
“No Hide. I meant that for you. I’m speaking to -you-, not those two idiots. That Friday I waited for you but I suppose I got tired of waiting.” I shrug.
“I felt the game wouldn’t allow it. Once, in the old days… I always felt free just to post something about how I adored you.” I look at the raindrops, chasing down the glass. “But I can’t put the blame on you, or her, or her. I was the one who loved you, after all.
“Why do you think I tried to get you to talk to me again, in the other ways we used to? But that too you couldn’t or wouldn’t. Instead you relagated yourself to your diary instead of sharing with me and I had to go through it in an hour just to find you.”
“No… you were my thrill, my -delight-. Every moment, even the most mundane… But I thought that she found me boring.” I shake my head. “Boring Hide, she cooks, she cleans. She made him happy and wanted to fool around too much. A shallow woman, unworthy of Saitou-sama.”
“So you thought someone found you boring and decided you’d rather not do anything -with- me. You could’ve cooked and I would’ve sat down with you like we used to. You could’ve garden and I’d follow you around with that bucket of water back in the day. But instead you just waited until I made it open for you or waited until I needed to hump you.” I shake my head. “Why couldn’t you let yourself go, show me you wanted me for once?”
“It’s what I wanted. If you told me we could go back, I’d go in an instant.” I wipe my eyes. “I know now, the story she wanted. To make me think that you’d been unfaithful to me. To test me, again.
“Who cares about the story, the uncertainty that might’ve come?” And she starts to cry. “But you’re not entirely wrong, I had become tied to the fate of that place. It was a place that I can finally claim our honor our reason.” I take a deep breath, “I would go back but…” I shake my head, “I’m not sure if I can anymore. Not after knowing I lost you again for another what? 5 years? That the woman I tried to save now have permanent scars that handicapped her. Your leaving for Ito, was the one failure I could never make up for. And now what? I’m more content to be a walking corpse than go back.”
“I don’t deserve this kindness, to have been saved when I deserved that fate,” I say, sobbing into his shirt.
“You didn’t deserve the fate that a mob imposes.” I don’t know why but I hold her against me. “They said it themselves, they were shells, they were cursed. What right have they, when they don’t even try to create their own fate and blame their fate on others?”
“But the last grain of hope in the core of me won’t let you go, even though I know I -must-. I thought if I loved you enough, it would be enough.”
“Well maybe…” I take a deep breath and hold her at arms length, looking at her, “Maybe it’s better then that it won’t be us to decide. Just let the capriciousness of others takes its course.”
(OOC – will reply tomorrow)
Why couldn’t you let yourself go, show me you wanted me for once?
“Bad habits…. and, as always, feeling inadequate. But that’s from me, and I cannot blame your writer.” I sigh. “She’s the closest to a mother-in-law that I’m going to get with you. Utterly exasperated with you but entirely loving and wanting the best. Thinking that I might be the one for her boy but always keeping an eye out…” I shake my head. “And with mine… having to -share- time with her. She always wanted to talk to your writer, even when -we- were busy.”
But you’re not entirely wrong, I had become tied to the fate of that place. It was a place that I can finally claim our honor our reason
And go get what we both wanted. I look down, I’m still wearing that gold ring. He’s not.
I would go back but… I’m not sure if I can anymore. Not after knowing I lost you again for another what? 5 years? That the woman I tried to save now have permanent scars that handicapped her. Your leaving for Ito, was the one failure I could never make up for. And now what? I’m more content to be a walking corpse than go back.
“Then we… take advantage of what we can do. Rewind, but not forget. Wake up in the hospital in Osaka, and go back so that my injuries don’t cripple me. You can help me recover. They may leave scars.. but I’ve never minded yours. I love them. To me they were always a sign of what you’ve lived through, what you endured. Now I’ll have mine – reminders of this. This has been… the darkest days of my life. We can move on, but maybe what we’ve learned… will help us, if we are to move forward.” I touch his face. “But if you’re content, or this doesn’t feel authentic to you… I respect that, after what’s happened. I’ll go back if you do, but only if it’s your heart’s wish.”
You didn’t deserve the fate that a mob imposes. They said it themselves, they were shells, they were cursed. What right have they, when they don’t even try to create their own fate and blame their fate on others?
He holds me, and I start to compose myself . “Ah, and there I go, involving the writers with mine,” I smile, wryly. “And while some of those I should have done a better job at – I know now that I can’t take it all.” I reach in his pocket for the tenugui. Ah, Yaso-san, always there…
Maybe it’s better then that it won’t be us to decide. Just let the capriciousness of others takes its course.
I nod, looking up at him.
“Bad habits…. and, as always, feeling inadequate.
I sigh, “If you’re not going to talk to me about it, how do you suppose you’ll get rid of your feelings of inadequacy or your bad habits?”
Then she talks about those two fools but I don’t want anything to do with them. I can only shrug at that. It’s her that I want to know, where do we really stand? If she wants Hokkaido then fine. If she can’t do the life in Tokyo that’s fine too.
She then looks down, first at her hand then at mine. I think she’s looking for it? Why? Weren’t we done? I’m supposed to be gone.
“Then we… take advantage of what we can do. Rewind, but not forget. Wake up in the hospital in Osaka, and go back so that my injuries don’t cripple me. This has been… the darkest days of my life. We can move on, but maybe what we’ve learned… will help us, if we are to move forward.”
She tells me of the only possible step we can take. To try to make it right. But we didn’t get here without a reason.
“But if you’re content, or this doesn’t feel authentic to you… I respect that, after what’s happened. I’ll go back if you do, but only if it’s your heart’s wish.”
“I don’t know how I feel about it. When they took you, all I could think about was getting you back. When I found out how he treated you, I realized what a mistake it was to try to give you back to your dream. But then those two, the weasel and your sister wouldn’t let us be and I was asked if I wanted to see you again and I did. But then you…” I let her go, “You could’ve stayed in Osaka or Tokyo even. That’s when I realized maybe my suspicions were true, that you’re tired of what we have.”
“And while some of those I should have done a better job at – I know now that I can’t take it all.”
She reaches into my pocket and instead finds Yaso’s cloth. I reach into my other pocket and showed her, her ring. “I left all my belongings to Ueda-sama before they took you for your judgment but I couldn’t leave this behind.”
“It’s up to you. You can take it back if you want.” I hold it out to her, “I don’t want to be tied to a woman who’s only holding on because it’s the right thing to do or because she had my children or I’m kind to her. I don’t want somebody who doesn’t tell me anything or doesn’t feel the need to get to know me.”
how do you suppose you’ll get rid of your feelings of inadequacy or your bad habits?
“To figure out how to face them, rather than accepting them as flaws that are too baked-in to change.” I look around the room. “And… trust. Yes, you could have chosen one of those remarkable women, but… you came to me. And stayed. When I listen to what is true… I’ll find what I need to give those destructive thoughts up.”
You could’ve stayed in Osaka or Tokyo even. That’s when I realized maybe my suspicions were true, that you’re tired of what we have
“Desperation … loss… made me do strange things. I -tried- to find… something. I can do time and space, but death… that is still hard for me. So I was -scrambling-… trying to eke out peace or hope or something that didn’t make me feel so… broken. Even in that dream of Hokkaido… thinking of the blue sky but all I wanted was to show it to you. But I wasn’t tired of our world. There’s still so much I want to do… beyond claiming our honor. I want to feed Ai-chan her first bites of food with you at my side. I want to spend more time gardening with Makoto-chan and teaching her. To be an auntie to Yukiko-san. To be a stepmother to to those boys of yours that I love. And… to wake up before you, just to watch the sun slowly light up your face until my heart feels like it’s going to burst.”
It’s up to you. You can take it back if you want
He holds out the ring, and I pick up up, carefully. “The problem with this ring… is that it needs to be worn. Get some scratches. Look a little… lived-in.” I kiss it, gently, before taking his hand and sliding it on his finger. He kept it… he kept it.
“This isn’t ‘holding on’. I’d want to be yours without children, or with fifteen. I’ve wanted to be yours ever since the beginning, when everyone told me that it was the -wrong- thing to do. You are kind to me… but as I was told, long ago, what I need is a good man.” I look up at him. “Good men, I’ve found, are immensely more… complicated. And demanding.”
“I’m going to be a good woman to -be- a good woman. Not just for you, or the children. If I’m the sort of woman who is open with those she holds dear, I’ll have to demand the same from my good man. And… I can’t ask someone to grow old with me if I don’t let him know me. The good, the bad… the hopelessly trivial, sometimes.” I smile, still a bit watery.
I lean against him. “I’m going to either need to go to the sofa or the bed – I don’t think I can balance on one foot much longer.”
When I listen to what is true… I’ll find what I need to give those destructive thoughts up.”
And I wonder, with the way she said that – will she do it all over again, alone in her thoughts that even she can’t seem to trust.
“Desperation … loss… made me do strange things. I -tried- to find… something. I can do time and space, but death… that is still hard for me. So I was -scrambling-… trying to eke out peace or hope or something that didn’t make me feel so… broken. Even in that dream of Hokkaido
Of course it was unexpected. I know what our end should be and with it’s sudden onset, she wasn’t adequately prepared and neither was I.
But I wasn’t tired of our world. There’s still so much I want to do…
“Then -do- it Hide. If you really want to.” After all maybe we both learned that we’re not guaranteed the luxury of time. Sometimes we think we have years but in truth it could only be moments.
“The problem with this ring… is that it needs to be worn. Get some scratches. Look a little… lived-in.”
She takes the ring and slides it onto my finger. In this world, where I had planned to stay, initially I thought I’d use it to ward off other women, a joke I’d tell to the likes of Hijikata or Heisuke, even Nagakura as I left to go on a boat to the middle of nowhere. And then there I’d pretend to be married to someone, just like those men seem to be tied down and yet hardly go home to their wives.
“This isn’t ‘holding on’. I’d want to be yours without children, or with fifteen. I’ve wanted to be yours ever since the beginning, I’m going to be a good woman to -be- a good woman. Not just for you, or the children. If I’m the sort of woman who is open with those she holds dear, I’ll have to demand the same from my good man. And… I can’t ask someone to grow old with me if I don’t let him know me.
“Your diary was awfully organized and at many parts poorly written – fractured.” I tell her, “And the only useful information I got out of it during your abduction was the name Asato.” I shake my head. “And of course your undying love for “souji”.” That I tease her with a little but I do wonder in the back of my mind, when we will cross paths again. I did send him to the Battousai to see what kind of men both of them are.
“I’m going to either need to go to the sofa or the bed – I don’t think I can balance on one foot much longer.”
She has been standing up awfully long. I carefully lift her up. “The bed. You should sleep.”
I set her down carefully on my bed and I stare at her eyes for a moment. Of course I can’t help it but bend down and kiss her lightly on her lips. I’m not sure if that’s my answer but I add, “We’ll just have to figure out details later.”
OOC: you can close
Then -do- it Hide. If you really want to
I meet his eyes. “I will… but I’m going to need those mornings. And several nights… a lot of the day, really.”
He lets me put on the ring without complaint, and something… in this wounded heart starts to feel warm again. It looks so right, there. My ring on him.
He then speaks of my diary… with a teasing tone, a bit, about Souji. “Well… at least there was that. But I do have to work on it… but… I will give you the ‘rough drafts’, first, and see if storytelling improves my writing.” I grin, slightly. “I’ll have to get better and clean some up by the time the children are old enough to hear.”
Although I wonder if we’ll see him again.
But he tells me to sleep and the truth is… I am exhausted but I finally feel that there’s some rest for me. A true sleep.
And then, he kisses me, lightly. Just lingering enough for me to catch them, briefly. I smile… like I’ve not smiled in what feels like forever.
We’ll just have to figure out details later
I nod. “Come back here, after your nighttime cigarette. We sleep together, after all.” He’s wrapped me up well enough that we can share that, at least…
(OOC – close)