Hajime:
It’s well into the afternoon when we come back. We haven’t really had anything to eat and so I ask one of the maids to cook the carp that she was harping about after I help her back to the second floor bedroom.
I forget how big this place is of Kurosawa. Once it was warranted for all the people who used to live here but now? With only two of them?
“Goro…”
“What are you doing down here? Didn’t I tell you to stay upstairs?” I look at her, still in that kimono. “Get some rest Tokio.”
“Come up. Leave the servants.” She shudders, “I’ll feel more comfortable if you’re there.”
I look at her. Who is she this time? The one closer in the wilderness -maybe-. “Alright.” She comes closer to me and once again clings to my arm and she looks at the two servants and smiles at them demurely. I try not to sigh as I lead her up the stairs.
Letting her go, I scan the room. It’s been years since we’ve been in a room together. I’m more anxious about it than my former self used to be. She sits on the edge of the bed and I sit by the edge of the window.
“I wouldn’t have known what to do if you weren’t there.” She tells me.
“It was just a small fire. Some kid started it.” I tell her. “Hardly a cause for concern.”
She smiles, “I guess that’s what a man like you would say.”
I’m not sure what that means. I could take it to mean as a compliment for my line of work or as another put down for my murderous ways.
“I didn’t appreciate the protection you gave me back then.”
What? I look at her. I’d tell her she didn’t even -try- to learn those things I tried to teach her in self defense and in the end she ran away from us, looking for whatever it was or for the behemoth. But could I really blame her, I already ended up wanting another. Loving someone else.
“Sit down beside me.” She asks softly and I hesitate. We can’t be near. I can’t be near her. But I go beside the woman anyway.
“I called you here because I was thinking…” She looks at my hand and reaches out. Her hands are still very soft but they’re not the same hands I longed to hold back then. “I kept thinking that if you’ve had your fill in Tokyo, you can then come home here and we can start over again with the boys.”
I shake my head and put back her hand, “That’s not possible.”
“Of course, it won’t be -just the boys.” She looks up, “I understand why you did what you did. I was unavailable to you when you wanted…” She touches my face so softly and I blink and ask myself what is happening?
“Tokio…” I try to move away slightly but I’m stuck here for some reason.
“And I understand since you stayed with her, it’s unavoidable that you’d sire children with her.” She touches me again and looks at me but I don’t meet those eyes. I can’t stare at them like I do Hides.
“I can’t get mad at the children.” She says, “And I now know you’re a good man, which is why you’re here for them – just like as you said in your letter.”
“That’s right. I want Ai and Makoto to be under the Fujita house.”
She’s quiet for a moment and takes her hand away. “Ah so that’s their names.” For a moment I thought I saw her face grimace but it’s gone quickly.
“As I said I have no ill feelings towards the children – even if they are borne out of your long standing infidelity.”
I suppose she had a right to say that.
“I do have one request since I still am your wife.”
I’d tell her that I want to be free from the shackles of being her husband. That I’d like my infidelity to stop being one. That the woman I want to be with is waiting for me to return to Tokyo. But I watch Tokio closely, her face unlike the one that greeted me earlier this morning that conducted herself with much assuredness and directed everything I did. Right now, she reminds me of the one in the wilderness, the frail one who let me come close just enough to touch but never be intimate with.
Suddenly she leans in and gives me a kiss. A soft one that at one point may have led me to move mountains for her and of course bed her. And I remember the woman who I thought I would give my life for in the wilderness, the one whom my Hime thought I’d go back to. I swallow but don’t say anything.
“I see that I’ve not entirely lost your interest.” She smiles at me, not triumphantly but almost thoughtfully. “I won’t ask you to leave that woman in Tokyo.” She shrugs, “I’ve been thinking long about this and every worthy man, has his woman to the side. Daimyo, Kazoku, the Nobility and even your former lord “Kondou”.”
I blink. What strange thing have I walked into? “You can keep your mistress and even have your daughters under the house. But you must do two things…”
I’d grunt “What” but instead I slightly nod my head.
“One is to not sire another child with your mistress. You should know that having another child with her puts the house in disrespute and lessens the resources for your -true- heir. I’m sure you’d know how to ensure this.” She looks at me and I don’t know what’s painted on my face. Surprise? Disbelief?
“And two, once you get back to Tokyo…” She gets up from where she’s sitting and gives me a document. I read it over and I realize what it is and it takes all my strength, not to rip it to -shreds-.
“File that and that should fix the “mistake” that’s on the Fujita family register.”
She comes closer to me and places a hand on my shoulder. “Fairly easy and reasonable things for a wife to ask her husband is it not?”
I’m speechless. Maybe even -disgusted-. Kanbee was right after all.
(OOC: To be continued)
He’s quiet. Just like that man who used to just stare at me smoking for hours. Not really saying what’s on his mind. He has that disapproving look but it’s only fair isn’t it?
I gave him a golden opportunity to fix what is wrong and make it a right.
I watch as he holds the last bit of paper. For years he refused but now? But will he turn down this opportunity to make everything alright again? I shiver a little, the afternoon is turning into evening and I didn’t realize it’s getting dark.
“Don’t tell me, you’re having second thoughts?” I’d ask him is it because he can’t keep his hands off his mistress – well there’s ways to play with her without consumating the act. And as for the other, that was always a sham wasn’t it? It was not real. A -mistake-.
I loosen my obi just a little and then followed by my kimono. It is -hot- in this room after all. I watch him to see if he’s even noticed but he keeps his head down.
Instead of noticing me, his hands shakes and I reach out again, placing my hand on top of his to stay it. “What’s important is the future and…” I try to smile a little, “Maybe it won’t be so bad after all?” I stand up and slide the shoji door open a little so the servants can see he’s sitting on my bed. It’s right about now that Kurosawa-san should be coming home.
Just like clockwork.
“Welcome Master.” I hear the servants greet him.
Going near to Goro. .” I lead him out of the bedroom and from the stairs where everyone can clearly see we emerged from the same room. I take his hand and place it on my chest. “Oh my dear husband. You don’t have to answer me. You only need to -show- me.”
His eyes scan the room and locks with Kurosawa-sama. I smile at both of them. Sweet just like back then. “Goro just wanted to spend some time Kurosawa-sama. It’s been a while.”
“So I see that Tokio-ko.” Kurosawa-sama’s face is even. Just like back then as well. He should be happy that the man he chose, came back.
Goro places my hand down and goes down the stairs himself. He gives a slight bow to Kurosawa-sama. “I’m sorry for the intrusion. I didn’t mean to stay so long.”
Kurosawa doesn’t answer him. So I do, “Oh it’s fine Goro. Everyone can you make sure to send some carp with my husband? We lost all track of time and he hasn’t had enough to eat.”
The servants began to murmur and Kurosawa throws them a glare. As for Goro he left without another word.
(OOC: Saitou is going to Ueda’s probably)