I hold Ai-chan in my arms and gently lay her down in her crib after whispering to her to go to sleep longer this time. She’s such a beautiful baby, I can’t help but keep staring at her as she sleeps.
“That’s a good girl. Just listen to what Papa says.” I say softly while touching her hair.
I do miss those eyes staring back at me. The shape and color like my mothers, while her hair is definitely more like Hide’s hair, curly while my mother were in very soft waves. I’m glad for this child, everytime I look at her I’m reminded of two women that I love.
With that finally accomplished I go to back to our bed and lay my back against the wall and wait for Hide. She’s probably very tired, eventhough Yukiko helped prepare dinner Hide insisted to cook something a little special instead of something simple. Of course it’s because her brother is here.
“Why don’t you come to bed already?” I finally say. “Get some rest.” Of course I won’t keep her up. I want her to rest after all.
Why don’t you come to bed already? Get some rest.
I’d been watching Hajime put our Ai-chan to bed. He’s so sweet, so gentle with her, and until they close, those beautiful eyes of hers are fixed on him.
He had been whispering something to her, when I came back from the washroom.
Watching them together, it’s like when he first met Makoto. They just seem to -fit-.
I smile as I settle down on the bed next to him. “Hanako-san sent me a wonderful gift. It will let me be able to have others help with feeding Ai-chan. Everyone wants to help feed a baby, after all,” I laugh softly. “But the diapering…” Makoto has already let me know what she thinks about -that-… “not as many volunteers.”
Hide settles down next to me and I place an arm around her.
“Hanako-san sent me a wonderful gift. It will let me be able to have others help with feeding Ai-chan. Everyone wants to help feed a baby, after all,”
“Ah so -how- does that contraption work? And more importantly how long will the milk keep?” I ask. “I can go bring home some ice most nights if it will help.”
“But the diapering…” Makoto has already let me know what she thinks about -that-… “not as many volunteers.”
I chuckle a little. “Well there is some virtue in doing something we don’t like. Maybe she has to ‘persevere’?” I grin a little “But if I’m home I’d do it if no one else will, so you don’t have to.”
I snuggle up close to him. It’s nice to have a moment to relax … infants are demanding, and I have a houseful to take care of… but this is -exactly- what I wanted. I smile up at him.
Ah so -how- does that contraption work? And more importantly how long will the milk keep?
“I place one of the cups over my nipple, and then work the little hand-pump, and there’s a place to collect the milk. It’s said that there’s only a couple of hours without keeping it cool, but a couple of days if we can keep it cool.” I smile.
“But it would let me perhaps start helping with the school runs – although we’ll have to see which Yukiko-san prefers. I know sometimes in the morning Eiji-san joins them.” I think for a minute, about something that’s been at the back of my mind. “Eiji-san has seemed… quiet since that night in the dojo. Have you had a chance to talk to him? I know he can handle his own business, but perhaps Yahiko-san has been saying things to him?”
Well there is some virtue in doing something we don’t like. Maybe she has to ‘persevere’? But if I’m home I’d do it if no one else will, so you don’t have to
I laugh. “That’s the same word Tsutomu-kun used – persevere! – when she complained about the smell.” And I lean over to kiss him lightly as he talks about helping out with that responsibility. “Oh, she’s easy now. Just wait until she starts wiggling – thankfully I was able to get Makoto out of diapers early, since she didn’t want to be – still- for me.”
“I place one of the cups over my nipple, and then work the little hand-pump, and there’s a place to collect the milk. It’s said that there’s only a couple of hours without keeping it cool, but a couple of days if we can keep it cool.”
I raise an eyebrow slightly amused at this. Her description isn’t so different than when I used to ah… “hand pump” her breast but I shake my head slightly trying to get that image out of my head. Not tonight. Tonight I want her to relax so instead I just pull her close.
“If keeping it cool will help keep it longer… The police station has an ice storehouse. I don’t think it will be a problem for me to take home some every few days.” Of course what we use that ice for is not exactly to store and keep food, but it is clean, it has to be.
“But it would let me perhaps start helping with the school runs – although we’ll have to see which Yukiko-san prefers. I know sometimes in the morning Eiji-san joins them.”
“It would be good if you can start getting out of the house.” I say thoughtfully, “Your brother is worried that you are not getting out enough.” Of course I had the same concerns but the timing just wasn’t right to do anything outside and I can’t say I’ve had much time to devote to her either.
“Eiji-san has seemed… quiet since that night in the dojo. Have you had a chance to talk to him? I know he can handle his own business, but perhaps Yahiko-san has been saying things to him?”
“Unfortunately I’ve…” I sigh, “I’ve noticed it too but I just can’t take care of it right now.” I care about him – but why I’ve not confronted it, perhaps a part of me is unwilling to deal with Eiji or even acknowledge that night. Maybe it will die down on it’s own. But does anything really die down?
She starts to laugh at the word persevere. It’s a word I’ve used with that son of mine many times when he was young. In a way it pleases me to hear he’s taken it to heart although I’m sure he’ll never admit to it.
She kisses me lightly and I’m again tempted to take it much further than a kiss as I let my hand run through her hair. Letting the kiss end naturally, I just smirk.
Just wait until she starts wiggling – thankfully I was able to get Makoto out of diapers early, since she didn’t want to be – still- for me.”
“Don’t worry. She’ll listen to me.” I remind her, then look over at the direction of the crib, “See. I told her to sleep and she is. I also told her to sleep longer this time and I bet she will.”
I stroke Hide’s hair a little. “I want you to get some rest. And also let me know how I can help you, while I’m here.”
I raise an eyebrow slightly amused at this
I can almost read his mind with that look… laughing softly, I tease, “perhaps the inventor was as attentive to his wife’s breasts as you are, and learned many lessons from that.” I take his hand in mine.
I’m a little surprised that the police keeps ice. Ice cream? Lemondade… but then a less playful alternative hits me. “Well, that would be convenient. And not too long – it’s tradition to start weaning her at 100 days. Which would put that in, oh, mid-December?”
“It would be good if you can start getting out of the house. Your brother is worried that you are not getting out enough
I’m a little surprised that he said that… but he is, of the two, more… thoughtful? “I would like to get out – I’ve felt terrible leaving so many chores to Yukiko-san – she’s here as family, and not a servant.” I smile. “She’s such a good young woman – I wish there was something more I could do for her.”
“I’ve noticed it too but I just can’t take care of it right now.
I’m quiet, thinking for a minute. “When you can. It’s important – he’s different from the other two boys. He’s the quiet one, but he’s seen things that Tsutomu-kun and Tsuyoshi-kun… they could never imagine.” I wonder how much they -do- know? “I’m not sure what, if anything, he’s confided in Yukiko-san.”
He doesn’t further the kiss and I know… I shouldn’t lead him on right now. But I enjoy his hand on my hair, of being held close. Knowing how much he loves and cares for this little one. “Hmmm… well, she’ll start sleeping for longer and longer over these first few months. Even Makoto, who was fussy, slept through the night before she was six months.” I grin at him, “but I do appreciate you putting in a word for me.”
I want you to get some rest. And also let me know how I can help you, while I’m here.
I reach up to touch his cheek, and then down his jaw. “How long… until you need to go again?”
She starts to laugh and I have a sinking feeling…
“perhaps the inventor was as attentive to his wife’s breasts as you are, and learned many lessons from that.”
“So you did.” I chuckle low. “I can’t believe I was that obvious.” But she’s been with me now for a long time. She’s bound to know certain things about me.
And not too long – it’s tradition to start weaning her at 100 days. Which would put that in, oh, mid-December?”
“Well -my- children are pretty advance.” I grin, “Perhaps you should try weaning her 80 days before.” But the truth was that I’m concerned that Hide might take too long to wean the child and that would put a toll on her health. Besides I saw Tokio wean our children much earlier than that, though I don’t tell Hide this.
“I would like to get out – I’ve felt terrible leaving so many chores to Yukiko-san – she’s here as family, and not a servant.” I smile. “She’s such a good young woman – I wish there was something more I could do for her.”
“She is my brother’s treasure. I couldn’t leave her back in Akashi.” I sigh a little, remembering how the girl was left alone with a man for an entire year. A man she knew but still… “If something were to happen to her I’m not sure if Hiroaki would let me sleep.” It’s an odd thing in this world we live in my brother is dead but in fact, in another time it was his daughter that passed too early. Perhaps this is what he would’ve wanted anyway. “Thank you for taking such good care of her. At some point when everything has fallen into place, we’ll have to look into your plans of getting her to Kyoto.”
But our talk goes back to Eiji and I only nod. I can’t say I will.
“Hmmm… well, she’ll start sleeping for longer and longer over these first few months. Even Makoto, who was fussy, slept through the night before she was six months.”
“That’s good.” I say. Of course I don’t know what happened during her first few years in Ito and I’m too uneasy to ask Hide to elaborate.
“How long… until you need to go again?”
“Well for the immediate, my only concern is Aizu and when I come back I’ll be in Tokyo but I may not be coming home every night like I did the past month. After that — I’m not sure.” But I don’t tell Hide that all of this is personal business – hardly the business of Fujita Goro of the Police. But maybe once Aioi is back she can give me information which may dictate where I’ll be in the next few months.
So you did. I can’t believe I was that obvious.
“Well…” I grin, “I do know you, after all this time. And I know you catch me being just as obvious at times.” I sigh, and then bury my face on his chest, and then peek up at him with a smile. “But I’ve never heard you minding.”
Well -my- children are pretty advance. Perhaps you should try weaning her 80 days before
“You do seem to make bright and attractive children,” I muse. “And 100 days is an old tradition – but if the rest of the world has moved on and it’s safe for Ai-chan… although I will miss it when it ends. I’m having time to really enjoy it this time,” I smile. “She just -looks-, and it’s funny how you just talk to the child… you’ll get to experience some of that, when you can feed her from a bottle.”
She is my brother’s treasure. I couldn’t leave her back in Akashi. If something were to happen to her I’m not sure if Hiroaki would let me sleep.
“I’m so glad she’s here – even if we didn’t need her help. I hope she’s learning something about running a household, even if it’s not as formal as ones she may know.” I kiss his cheek. “And even though I didn’t meet him… I’m glad we’re doing something that would let your brother rest well, and to have someone from your family a part of this family we’ve built in Tokyo.”
He doesn’t ask more about Makoto’s babyhood. Those lost years… are still strange to talk about. As I went through this pregnancy, and then birth, I only had Makoto’s to compare it to. But what a contrast…
Well for the immediate, my only concern is Aizu and when I come back I’ll be in Tokyo but I may not be coming home every night like I did the past month. After that — I’m not sure
I nod and wrap an arm across his chest. My mid-section has started to slowly recover over these past two weeks, and I can get close to him again, like I’ve not been able to in a very, very long time. “And when will you go to Aizu?” I’m… nervous about it. She has a way of getting to him, and after the caped man… it just adds to the uneasiness.
. And I know you catch me being just as obvious at times.”“But I’ve never heard you minding.”
She buries her face in my chest as if she’s hiding. I smile a little at that and then as if speaking to another person. “What is my little wife hiding her face for? Embarassment? Doesn’t she know I’m very much into her?” I turn her face up and settle her instead against my shoulder.
I’m having time to really enjoy it this time,” I smile. “She just -looks-, and it’s funny how you just talk to the child… you’ll get to experience some of that, when you can feed her from a bottle.”
“Well I’m not sure if all my children is bright and attractive but they’re certainly very unique. Although I’ll say that I find the ones you’ve given me to be quite the treasures in my life.” Of course I told them that the other day.
She kisses my cheek as she speaks about Yukiko. Of course I’m glad we’re all together, whether her family or mine. Well I’m not quite sure yet if I’m extending it to her brothers. After all, they hardly know me and I them. Something tells me that if something were to happen, they’d keep Hide away from me but isn’t that what I told them to do. To keep her and not let her run.
But why am I thinking like this? Ah it’s because…
I pull Hide even closer this time and she wraps her arms around my chest and I’m surprised. It’s actually been so long since we’ve just sat down and enjoyed being close to each other.
“And when will you go to Aizu?”
Of course it’s Aizu. That place where my previous wife… Still -the- wife ahou…
“Probably a day or two after your brother leaves.”
I know I’m being naive thinking I can just go there under Tokio’s bidding and expect that she’ll give us what we need. To let Hide and I finally live with some honor and respectability… But if not that then maybe at least my two children. But what will Hide think if I come back with only the children or worst… Nothing.
Well at least this time. Her brothers will be there.
Suddenly I’m all too aware of the time. I didn’t mean to have her stay up late. I wanted her to take a rest. “If we keep snuggling like this, the next thing you know Ai-chan will be awake again.”
What is my little wife hiding her face for? Embarrassment? Doesn’t she know I’m very much into her?
I laugh. “Your little wife is still as playful, sometimes, when she was your neko-chan who just wanted to get on your lap.” I shake my head. “What a troublesome thing she was, too, but here she is, with her one and only ookami-sama.” Every time I hear him say “wife” when he speaks of me… my heart leaps. Even if I know that there’s one more hurdle to go, and even then, some people will never accept nor forgive.
Although I’ll say that I find the ones you’ve given me to be quite the treasures in my life
I smile. “Ah, but you have five such treasures. Even if one is not bound by blood, and the other has blood but not the law… they’re still very much your sons. But I’ve heard it said, that while a father has to focus on raising a son up right, he feels easier to be free and loving to his little girls.”
Probably a day or two after your brother leaves.
I nod, and I realize I’m holding him tight as he speaks of Aizu, and release my grip a bit. “I wish I could be with you, but even if I could travel that far, I’d only make it worse,” I shake my head. “It’s our life, after all… and while none of us have clean hands, I’m tired… of us taking the blame.” Why could she consort with the caped man without censure by the leaders of the wilderness?
If we keep snuggling like this, the next thing you know Ai-chan will be awake again.
In a soft voice, I answer. “I know. But I find this – having a moment together – to be just as refreshing as eight hours of sleep in a row. I need this just as badly.” I look into his eyes, the ones that are so similar to our younger daughter… “our lives in this place don’t give us time for this as much, and I cherish this -very much-, my dear husband.” Although… well, it’ll be a few weeks for that, still. But maybe before he goes, I could… I kiss his cheek.
“I should let you rest, too. I know how early you’ve been getting up lately so that you can get home in time to see the children.”
“What a troublesome thing she was, too,
“Of course she was… Making me do all the work.” I tease a little. Those days feel very far away but at least we get to spend most nights sharing a bed together.
“Ah, but you have five such treasures. Even if one is not bound by blood, and the other has blood but not the law… they’re still very much your sons. But I’ve heard it said, that while a father has to focus on raising a son up right, he feels easier to be free and loving to his little girls.”
“My sons are grown and mostly out of the nest or can’t wait to be.” I remind her. I don’t talk about my sons much, I’m still working on repairing that and there are times that the setbacks seem insurmountable even for myself.
“My girls will be with me a while and they’re such good girls.” Or so I hope.
“I wish I could be with you, but even if I could travel that far, I’d only make it worse,”
I’d ask her why she thinks she’d only make it worst but what comes next… Althought I shouldn’t be surprised. She had said such words before.
“It’s our life, after all… and while none of us have clean hands, I’m tired… of us taking the blame.”
I simply nod at this. I never wanted her to take the blame and have told her she’s free from it because I’ve seen it take its toll on her. But there’s no convincing her is there? After all what did she tell me before? That I self-flagellate. I’d argue the point but I know it’s just not something either of us would yield, much less understand.
So instead I shift her so she lies on the bed. Time doesn’t wait for anyone, especially here in our home, so unlike the previous places we used to find ourselves in.
“our lives in this place don’t give us time for this as much, and I cherish this -very much-,
“Let’s rest then. Like you said, I have to start the day early.” I say and kiss the top of her forehead before I myself get settled and go to sleep. “I’ll bring some ice tomorrow.”
(OOC: Saitou will sleep. He’ll wake up early and maybe catch Yuunosuke in the AM if he’s around.)