“Ah it’s good you finally showed yourself.” I look him over. It’s been weeks since we’ve seen each other. “Here help me put this up.” I motion for him to take the stool so he can hold the flag while I hammer it to place.
“Sorry Otou-san.” He tells me with a small smile, “I knew it would get crowded here and Yagi-san already has her hands full.
I hammer one of the nails in place. “That and the girl isn’t it?” I grin at him. “I’m not opposed to it.”
“That I know already.” He laughs softly, “But it doesn’t seem she’s ready. I don’t want to until she’s back to herself.”
I pull back a bit and look to see if the work is straight, “Well avoiding her won’t help with that. Although, try not to keep introducing her to people associated with that dojo.”
“Oh you know what happened?” He gets down.
“Some. But I understand why you did it.” Finished I put the hammer away and go to the side retrieving a sword stand, then a smaller stand to hold the incense base and lay down a small wooden box full of incense.
Eiji moves away from the alcove and I look at it head on, from top to bottom. The only thing missing was the sword which I’ll add later. It is quite simple and bare, I would’ve appreciated perhaps a small ikebana arrangement just like… I inhale stunned that I’m thinking about my old home with Tokio. There was a mid-sized statue of Kannon instead of the flag and to either side a very nice ikebana and each night the incense sticks would burn.
We could place a small statue of buddha I suppose? But I admit I’ve fallen out of practice and I associate Buddha with Tokio up to this day and of course the same with the children.
The Goddess of Mercy… If only…
Ahou! Of all the things to think about…
Turning away, I see Yukiko bring in some pillows and put them in the living space.
“Makoto-chan made these. I had to get them from the Treehouse.”
“Oh you got up there? Why didn’t you let me?” Eiji responds back, “You could’ve fallen down you know!”
“I’ve been there before.” She smiles at him.
I let them have their time and wait for the others to join.
I enter the room, and see Hajime at work, along with Eiji-san. “Hello, Eiji-san,” I say, with a smile. I’m always glad to see him.
“We’re almost done with the refreshments; but first I wanted to make my contribution to the alter – this was an incense burner my grandmother gave me when I turned fifteen. Girls don’t get their heads shaved that year,” I grin a little at both men, “but she did want to mark it for me. She was very thoughtful like that.”
I upwrap it carefully, it’s not some ancient heirloom as it was made by a Kyoto craftsman my grandmother knew, but it’s special nonetheless.
I place it on the alcove, by the flag. “It’s nice to see the flag again,” I smile over at Hajime. I’m so glad that one made it, through all those years. “I wish I could contribute some ikebana, but maybe some fresh cuttings from the garden will be suitable?”
Hide enters the room bearing a gift and behind her Namuzawa and Tsuyoshi. An incense burner from her grandmother. I give her way so she can set that up in the alcove.
I smile at her, “I’ll always think of your grandmother with that gift.” And of course everytime there’s an incense almost ready to burn out, I’ll remember her grandmother and that fateful night with the Kyokuchou. “She was a good woman.”
She smiles and tells me that it’s good to see the flag again. I nod. It is good that somewhere, even if it’s just the confines of our house they are with us in some way.
“I wish I could contribute some ikebana, but maybe some fresh cuttings from the garden will be suitable?”
“Ikebana would be preferable Yagi-san.” Namuzawa interjects, “But as a temporary measure, a fresh flower arrangement will do.”
He comes up, “Where is the image of Kannon?” He looks at me. As a devout buddhist he’ll notice it immediately of course. “In your previous house it was always so prominent.”
“Ah I am rather particular about that Namuzawa-san.” I look at where the statue should be, “Unfortunately I still haven’t found the right Bodhisattva.” I bow to him low. I’m not insulted with what he said, I used to be a follower of Buddha after all but it has become complicated over the years.
“Chichi-ue don’t worry!” Yoshi comes up to me, “I’ll find you one in Aizu!” Of course Aizu was a predominantly buddhist clan.
“Thank you Yoshi.”
I look at Hide. “If you could Hide? Some of the flowers you tended to in the garden?” It’s summer but I know she’s been also busy. But a few clippings will do.
I’ll always think of your grandmother with that gift.
Of course, the combination of Hajime, my grandmother and incense is an important one, and one apt to place of honor next to the flag.
Namuzawa-san then joins, to share his opinions of our efforts, and the lack of religious iconography. Of course, in my household, with my mother’s repeated attempts at a son, Kannon had prominence… I remember being a child, and wondering why my good and kind mother wasn’t getting the son she wanted so badly, and instead had me?
But then Tsuyoshi-kun steps in again, to play the peacemaker.
Nodding to Hajime’s request, I go out to the garden. I could never make good ikebana, my father grumbled that I was just like my mother, playing at being a farmer with my hands in the earth, but I like to see the change of seasons, the growth… to make my own impact felt in a little patch of the great earth even when I felt my most powerless.
Meanwhile, ikebana only brought up memories of pleasing to fail the brief succession of teachers I had as a girl – if I chose the correct flower for a meaning, then I somehow put it wrong… I smile a little. Much like I am in -many- other regards. Good intentions, poor execution.
Come winter, I will place camellias, as each kind blooms, until early spring. The last of them were blooming that day I sat in a man’s kimono and hakama, and met the Shinsengumi for the first time. And then, the smell of tsubaki oil, taking care of precious swords…
I look around, seeing what is at its best in these hot days of late summer. I choose some pink roses, looser and softer than Western roses, and then dahlias, in a variety of bright colors. I stop first, in the kitchen, to clean off any dirt from my hands and the flowers, and then find an appropriate vessel for the flowers. Of course, under Namuzawa-san’s scrutiny we are of course failing… but this is -my- home.
Everyone is in the living room. I can hear them as I go down the stairs. I know Yagi-san said father had prepared something and I suppose I am curious as to what this something is?
I don’t immediately go inside and just peak in. There’s Tsuyoshi and Namuzawa-san and to their right is Eiji-nii and Yukiko-neesan. But where is Makoto and Yagi-san? I go partly inside but stand just at the doorway and cross my arms looking at them.
Then to the left I notice the alcove has been setup rather plainly with a mended but tattered flag hanging down instead of a proper scroll. There are senko sticks in the middle along with a sword stand. Is that appropriate that a sword stand be there instead of kannon?
I look up again at the flag, the red is a very pale red now and for the first time, I notice the kanji for Truth, almost in dirty white but I can see it used to likely be yellow or gold.
“Why don’t you come closer Tomu?” He tells me. I shrug and do as I’m told.
“Where’s Makoto?”
“I don’t know. Maybe she’s with Yagi-san?”
“Ah I had Hide get some flowers from the outside.”
“Oh that would be nice.” I like those rather than the Ikebana. Mother on rare occasions would place fresh flowers on our altar but she was also very good in Ikebana and Ikebana required less upkeep. I didn’t particularly like cleaning up the dead flowers that fell later though.
“That’s the flag of the Shinsengumi.” He tells me and looks up at it. I’m not sure but he seems to smile fondly at it, as if recalling something. “When Makoto and Hide gets back I will tell you the story of this particular flag.”
“Wouldn’t Yagi-san already know? You knew her from Kyoto yes?”
He nods. “But we parted ways earlier, before the war at Toba and Fushimi.”
(Makoto)
Oh! Is it time? I see Okaasan in the kitchen getting flowers ready. Funny, she doesn’t cut them a lot – she likes to see them in the garden.
“Makoto…” she smiles at me. “These are for the new area in the living room. I’m going to need your help – you’re old enough now. You’ll need to take flowers away as they die, and then get new ones.” She gives me a hug, and then lowers her voice, “then I’ll tell you the secret language of flowers – like how these pink roses are for trust and confidence.”
Secret language! This is a chore I’m going to like!
“Okay, then, what are these for?” I point at the colorful ones with pointy petals.
She laughs a little, “mmm… something like good taste.”
I sniff them. “So they’re good to eat?” Oh no I hope these don’t end up pickled on the table soon…
Then she laughs – really laughs. “No, silly. Good taste in that… you’re doing what is proper. Correct.”
We go together to the living room, and everyone else is already there. “We’re here, Chichiue!” Then I see the frowny man. So I bow, instead, because I am a good girl who -can- act like a boring one sometimes. “Otou-san, Okaa-san and I were getting the tasty flowers ready.”
OOPS. Wrong word!
I stay close to Hahaue, in case Tsuyoshi-niisan is up to something!
(OOC: end today will post tom)
“Otou-san, Okaa-san and I were getting the tasty flowers ready.”
I blink and raise my eyebrows in amusement but I hold back a laugh but Yoshi is holding his tummy while laughing loudly. Namuzawa is staring at him with a very displeased look on his face, but eventually the boy finally gets a hold of himself.
“Sorry Otou-san.” He tells Namuzawa and then looks at Makoto as if saying, come here I want to try to taste what a tasty flower is.
I cough at everybody. “Well why don’t we all sit down? Make yourselves comfortable?”
I wait for Hide to finish arranging the flowers. I admit my eyes linger on her a bit longer than necessary, not because of this early morning but looking at her I’m flooded with old memories those that involve her and those that now affect her.
I sit down in one of the pillows and have the children sit to the opposite end facing us, beside me I motion for Hide to sit.
“That flag you see is one of many flags that the Shinsengumi raised whenever we sortied into battle. The first one was created by Hijikata-san, the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi while we were staying at the Yagi estate in Kyoto.”
I look up again, staring straight at the single character in the middle. “Hijikata-san was fond of bright colors so he chose the color red and it was easily identifiable in battle. The faded color on the kanji is a pale yellow color, “asagiroo”. That was a play on words our uniform was of the color asagiroo which is the color of the light blue sky but is the same word as a pale yellow.”
I can’t help but slightly smile. The small details that I thought I have forgotten, is coming back eventhough I did my best to bury in deference to my wife’s wishes. But now, this piece of my story is bodly displayed in my home and my eyes settle on my daughter who is sitting beside Tsutomu and Yukiko.
I continue, “The kanji in the middle as you know is “Makoto”, our symbol for truth and sincerity. Hijikata-san deliberated for days before he settled on that character. He said it fitted Kondou Isami’s personality perfectly and so chose it. Kondou-san was the Commander of the Shinsengumi and childhood friend of Hijikata-san. I have seen Kondou-san practice his calligraphy religiously and this character is one of his favorites – it is after all one of the seven virtues of Bushidou.”
“The first person to carry this flag was Oseki Masajiro. He carried it proudly and protected it with his life.” And of course so did every Shinsengumi member who decided to carry the flag. “But each men carried this flag with the symbol of Makoto in their hearts, adopting it in their own way reflected in how they lived their lives.”
I stop for a moment wondering if anyone else but me, felt the importance of this flag – but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m the only one interested in this monologue. My eyes scan the room that’s mostly quiet.
Makoto seems annoyed that Tsuyoshi-kun finds her mis-statement about funny. I feel bad that she’s trying so hard to avoid Namuzawa-san’s displeasure. My daughter has been raised well, despite the circumstances of her life, and can behave… but she’s not accustomed to such scrutiny.
Tsuyoshi-kun gives her a look of interest, but she instead scoots closer to Tsutomu-kun.
I can’t help but notice Hajime look at me as I finish with the flowers, and as I sit down next to him, looking at the assembled group.
I listen as he tells stories. “There were rumors, that the reason they dressed in sky blue was that the cloth was going cheap, but Hijikata-san knew tactics and the blue made them easy to see – not just in the light of day but also at night. In a town that had slid into lawlessness, they became a -visible- presence.”
Hajime then looks at Makoto, who smiles at the mention of her name, and then looks serious. Her and I have discussed her name, unique for a girl, and what it means, but she needs to hear it from her father, who spilled blood under this banner and was willing to spill his.
He speaks of Kondou-san and his calligraphy. I know that my brother has some of that calligraphy, including a Makoto kanji, that is one of the treasures of the Yagi household. I’ll have to show it to Hajime and Makoto one day…
I look to see who’s paying attention. Makoto, for one, watches her father with bright eyes. But what of his sons?
“The last I saw this flag, was when it was on its way to Toba-Fushimi,” I say, softly. I’m glad I had some quiet privacy when I mended this flag, so I could reflect on all of those who fought under this flag who are no longer with us.
Aww. Makoto-chan took it badly! Instead of coming over she goes straight to Tsutomu-nii. He’s hardly paying any attention to her.
“Chichi-ue! So Kondou-san is the Kyokuchou of the Shinsengumi? And he must’ve been nice if Hijikata-san thought that Makoto fitted his personality!” I lean in but Namuzawa-san stretches out his arm in front of me.
“Tsuyoshi.” He says in a low voice, “Don’t interrupt Fujita-san when he is speaking. And you know better about those hired by Aizu and then was abandoned by them.”
I look down. I just wanted to learn about Kondou-san. I never heard of him before but I heard about Hijikata-san the Demon. Hijikata sounded scary but Kondou-san doesn’t…
Tsuyoshi always letting his mouth go before him gets reprimanded by Namuzawa-san and I can see father try to keep an impassive face at that. Of course father doesn’t have any right anymore to Tsuyoshi or at least in raising him. Besides it’s better Namuzawa-san discipline my brother a little.
“Chichi-ue,” He looks back at me, the expressionless face now with surprise written all over it. “Why don’t you tell us about that time your comrades left Aizu.” I cross my arms and smirk slightly. Let’s have everyone here, hear it father.
Father coughs away his expression and puts back his mask, “Of course, let me tell you about -this- particular flag then.” He looks up at it for a long moment before speaking. “This is the flag I raised in Aizu through the battle of Shirakawa castle, Buddha hall and the eventual surrender of Aizu.”
He stops for a moment and takes out his cigarette. “Uncle wait for a moment?” Yukiko-nee-san suddenly stands up goes to the kitchen retrieving an ashtray. “Here please.” She smiles at him and goes back in her seat.
“Aizu asked us to defend Shirakawa castle but everyone knew it was a lost cause. We were outnumbered and the reinforcements we had been asking for did not materialize. After Ootori-sama’s defeat, the Shogunate forces needed to regroup and was being called to fall back and let Shirakawa castle fall.”
I smirk even wider. This is the good part, the part where Chichi-ue tells the Shinsengumi off and I ended up saying it out loud. “Now that it’s obvious the castle and Aizu will fall, it is not in the spirit of Makoto to abandon it”
He looks at me expressionless and takes a long drag on his cigarette.
(Makoto)
Tsuyoshi-niisan speaks up and frowny old Namuzawa-san gets onto him -again-. Poor niisan. I’m sure he needs a sister to be his friend… and I wanted to hear more about Kondou-san too! Hahaue has told me some stories, like how he had a little girl (who is now a grown-up lady).
“Kondou-san could fit his entire fist in his mouth and he did it to make my uncles laugh!” I blurt out! Oh no! I turn back around but I bet Namuzawa-san is frowning at me!
Then Tsutomu-kun starts asking questions and he has an… angry sound in his voice? I look at him. Doesn’t he like stories? Real ones about brave samurai? One of who is our chichiue?!?
Hahaue reaches over and takes Chichiue’s hand. “Tsutomu-kun, there weren’t many survivors of those battles, specifically the Buddha Hall – it was that battle, specifically, that word reached Kyoto that your father hadn’t made it.” She give chichue one of her -looks- that makes me feel nice and safe, even if it’s a story about Chichiue getting hurt!
“So why don’t you let someone who was there tell the story, and what happened to this flag? It obviously didn’t go to Hokkaido.” She looks away from chichiue and to niisan.
“Kondou-san could fit his entire fist in his mouth and he did it to make my uncles laugh!”
I hear that and I can’t help but feel proud of my girl. One day she’ll meet her her two Uncles.
“Oh wow really?” says Tsuyoshi. “A samurai who’s nice. I wonder if he was good with…
Namuzawa tries to cut him off but I answer, “He was the best. I had gifted him a fake kotetsu once and he knew it was a fake but when he used that sword, it didn’t matter – he was that good.”
As I try to tell the story, Hide reaches over for my hand and I entwine my fingers with hers. Yukiko suddenly leans into Eiji and seems to whisper something but then Hide starts to speak.
“Tsutomu-kun, there weren’t many survivors of those battles, specifically the Buddha Hall – it was that battle, specifically, that word reached Kyoto that your father hadn’t made it.”
I squeeze Hide’s hand, an indication it’s fine and I continue, “Hijikata-san called the men over. Not everyone in the Shinsengumi was of the same opinion.” I take another drag on my cigarette, “Prior to the battle at Shirakawa but after Kondou-san’s capture, the Shinsengumi numbered a couple of hundred men. I was chosen by Hijikata-san to lead those men into Aizu as he had sustained a foot injury. During the fighting in and around Aizu and by the timme Hijikata-san took over, we barely had 50 men left to fight.”
Narrowing my eyes I can’t help but feel the sting of how poorly I had performed in place of the Demon Commander. “Hijikata-san had made up his mind to go to Hokkaido along with Enamoto and Ootori-sama, that’s where his battle lied.”
“Ah and that’s when they abandoned Aizu.” My son interjects with a jeer.
“Hijikata-san that night he was ordered to pull, ordered the remaining Shinsengumi to gather. 10 Shinsengumi soldiers refused to leave Aizu behind.”
“And that included you father!” Suddenly it’s Tsuyoshi who’s once again leaning in. I shake my head.
“Each one of them had a reason for staying in Aizu. Some believed leaving Aizu was cowardly and unloyal, while others believed defending the Aizu would further the cause of the Shogunate by preventing the advance of the New Government Army.”
“Tch.” He looks pointedly at me, “So which one were you?”
“Furthering the cause of the Shogunate, the Lord that Aizu -swore- to protect.” I stare back at my son who’s now gritted his teeth but remains quiet.
“I asked the Fukuchou if I could raise our flag in Aizu so that the remaining 10 Aizu Shinsengumi can gather under it.”
“So those ten men, what happened to them?”
“We were trapped in Nyoraido, at Buddha hall. I believed most of them, if not all of them died.” But the truth was, there was one person who survived but I don’t tell anyone about the man who was sent to prison with me in Takada. After all I had changed my name in order not to be caught, most of those looking for me already knew Jirou Yamaguchi both in the Shinsengumi and in Aizu.
It’s then Namuzawa who spoke, “Jirou Yamaguchi was said to have died in Buddha hall, only to emerge later and become the Captain of the Suzaku troop. It was a miracle they said.”
I nod. It was a miracle, the cut in my back in that fight is about is deeper than the cut I received in Tenma-ya but you don’t really feel it in the heat of the moment.
“But Otou-san, what were they doing up North? Why did they need to leave Aizu?” I glance at my youngest son. Such an innocent question that I can’t help the small smile on my lips.
“Simply the Shogunate or rather they wanted the Samurai way of life to endure. They were willing to vacate the mainland and start a New Republic but…” I puff on my cigarette.
“The forces up North were labelled as enemies of the emperor just like Aizu.” Tsutomu finishes for me. “But what happened to Hijikata-san?”
“I heard he was shot.” I blink, “His men were trapped in Benten daiba and needed reinforcements and he just charged in there with only a wakizashi and got shot while on horseback.”
“Tch! Such an id…” He stops and mutters something incoherrent. “How did you find out about this?”
“I heard from his page, Ichimura Tetsunosuke whom I met during the Seinan war.”
“Oh that’s quite a long time after.” He muses, “I guess it makes sense, you surrendered with Aizu after the war.”
“No I did not.” I look at Namuzawa, he knows having been the one who sent the correspondence that all men fighting outside the castle walls were to surrender. “I was fighting alongside Kanbee and Yaeko, they turned themselves in but my fight was not yet done. I went up North.”
I listen as Hajime speaks, of those last days of the war in Aizu. I’m quiet and let him tell his story, keeping my hand in his. I notice that Yukiko-san and Eiji-san notice it, but say nothing.
I try not to flinch as Tsutomu-kun jeers at his father, throwing back the truth he was told, even as he struggles with rejecting the woman who told him those stories. Or were there others, Aizu people who felt the same way?
As he speaks of Hijikata-san, I add. “And with his page, he sent his sword, a photograph he had commissioned, and his death poem to his family. I know, Tsutomu-kun, you had asked Makoto for a poem written by the samurai she told you of. Sadly, most of his poetry is… unremarkable. But it was done in truest sincerity. This is that poem:
Though my body may decay on the island of Ezo, my spirit guards my lord in the East” I open my eyes, blinking a little, having closed them to remember it exactly, and then go back to being quiet, to let Hajime tell his children his story.
(ooc: offline for tonight)
I don’t understand why she’s interrupting. I stare back at Yagi-san.
And with his page, he sent his sword, a photograph he had commissioned, and his death poem to his family. I know, Tsutomu-kun, you had asked Makoto for a poem written by the samurai she told you of. Sadly, most of his poetry is… unremarkable. But it was done in truest sincerity.
“How would -you- know that.” I tilt my head a little, “You were mostly stuck in your hometown of Kyoto weren’t you Yagi-san?”
Then I look back at Father.
“Hijikata kept a page even through the war?” I shake my head, “That’s rather unbelievable.”
“Ichimura was a remarkable young man. Only 15 when he went with Hijikata-san to Goryokaku and then back to Hino.”
“Fifteen? That’s foolish then.”
Letting go of Hide’s hand I put out my cigarette.
“Souji was only 16 when he received his license as a fencing instructor.” I look down, “Barely 17 when he followed Kondou-san to Kyoto. Todou Heisuke was even younger.”
My son looks away. He has fond memories of Okita but I don’t know how much he remembers of that one time he met him. But I don’t dare bring it up here.
I shrug, “Ichimura died fighting for Saigo in Seinan.” I grit my teeth, “He was only 23 so my son, -think- before you speak.” It was Aizu military men who had ended up killing Ichimura and his group but I don’t tell my son this.
“How did you go up North if you were in Takada?”
“Not everyone surrendered when Aizu waved it’s white flag.”
I hear a sudden grunt coming from Namuzawa, “Indeed, during the time there were a handful of men who didn’t and tried to go after Enamoto in Sendai. It was a disgrace and put Lord Katamori in a precarious situation.”
I look away from Namuzawa. “Aizu had already surrendered to the Imperial army, but up North the fight was just beginning. Goryokaku was occupied by the Matsumae clan which meant that for the Republic of Ezo, a government modeled after America, to come to fruition, the Northern Coalition forces needed to subdue all local resistance. Their fight was -not- finished. So I made up my mind to serve my lord once again.”
My eyes narrow slightly, “I made it all the way to the Northern tip of Honshu in the middle of November and that’s when the news broke out that the Kaiyo Maru and the Shinsoku, both flagship vessels had been lost to the Imperial Army in the Tsurgaru Strait.”
“Oh so they had already lost.”
I grin a little at this, “I suppose that’s what the Imperial Army wanted us to think.” I ash my cigarette, “With no way to contact the Northern Coalition and us a disorganized band of samurai, it was only a matter of time that we would be capture or die from the cold.”
“You were captured Chichi-ue?” Yoshi looks at me with concern written plainly on his face.
“Yes and I suppose I could’ve tried to get away,” I lean back a little and look up, “But with the news of the Kaiyo Maru, the bitter cold and lack of supplies, we admitted defeat. I identified myself to the Imperial army as Ichinose Denpachi, a rebel who fought for Aizu outside the castle walls and was sent to Takada.”
“Why what’s the difference if you fought inside or outside the castle?” Yoshi asks.
“Well son, those who were outside were deemed less important, perhaps less dangerous even.”
Tsutomu throws me back a look. “But Yaeko-sama and Kanbee-sama was fighting outside the castle too.”
“As the war progressed yes they were forced to fight outside, but the court, their relations and higher ranking officers like your godfather Yamakawa-san was inside. That’s why they had to open the castle walls.”
“Besides, it was probably a good thing that Yaeko surrendered outside the castle, had they known she was very close to the court, she would not have been given the choice to go to another clan instead of Gonohe. And as for Kanbee… We met once again in Echigo, in the Takada penitence group and we eventually were sent to Gonohe.”
I think once more of the lone surviving Shinsengumi under my command in Aizu, Shimizu Ukichi. He didn’t breathe one word eventhough he knew who I was. Unlike me who changed my name while in prison, he never denied his identity but I never saw him again, not even in Gonohe. Did the Imperial government dispose of him? I look at the flag again.
“It was in the Takada penitence group that, that flag once again found it’s way to me.”
Suddenly I found myself very tired. All this talk about the past and although I spent a fair amount of time talking I know I’ve barely scratched the surface. I look outside and I see the sun has shifted to the west.
“Hide… Tomu…” I get up and approach the altar once again. I take the 3 senko sticks, light it up and give one to each of them. “Let’s do an offering.” I motion my son to kneel in between Hide and I as we bow. “Tomu, you pray for those who died in the Aizu war.”
While I prayed for my comrades in the Shinsengumi and Aizu. Then to my ancestors, the Yamaguchis. Glancing back at Hide for a short moment, I pray to her parents as well… Finally although it is not my place, I pray for them whom I left behind in Gonohe.
Some of what he says… I already knew. Some of it is additions to older stories, and some… is entirely new. And I appreciate -how- he tells the story. The right tone for the younger children, but still, a very serious tale, told without embroidery or diversions.
And I can see, in his eyes, what speaking of this, those worst days, has done to him. I wonder if the boy who needed to hear it listened? Did he hear the last name that I wouldn’t tell him yesterday? Does he understand more, now, about what happened in Aizu?
I’m beckoned to the alter, and I join Hajime and Tsutomu-kun in making prayers.
It feels -right- to be joined by Tsutomu-kun, as a family, paying respects.
I pray for the men he just spoke of – not just the famous ones, or the ones that were my friends, but the nameless ones, or the “later” ones, who were there until the very end. The ones who fought and lived and died under this flag.
And then I pray for my parents, and my grandmother, and then the three other grandparents who died before I was even born and who are stories or, in the case of my father’s mother, a name and not much else. And I pray for Hajime’s family, for the father he lost too soon, the strong mother, and the brother who seemed to be the one who could speak to him plainly and push when needed.
And I pray for the woman who was there, in that worst place, for Hajime.
(Makoto)
After everyone is done praying and being quiet, I whisper to Tsuyoshi-niisan, “the flowers are -tasteful- not tasty and they’re offerings so you better not eat them!” Then he’ll have ghost problems! I hope he knows to be respectful!
We finish praying and it’s quiet. I suppose I spoke too much? Getting up I wait till Hide and Tomu are back to their seats. Glancing around the room, I look at each person wondering what they thought. Namuzawa-san, I already know what he thought about the war, similar to Tokio but perhaps a little more fair. At Eiji who’s eyes remain the same but with a very serious expression on his face and his hands on his knees formed in a fist, it reminds me of the young men who listened to stories of battle and beside him is Yukiko who’s kept her lips tightly sealed, her eyes a little watery but trying her best not to let anyone notice. I turn away, is that all it is now? Stories, ones that grow old once told.
I go retrieve my sword that was left between Hide and I. I stare at it for a moment, I’ve had many swords before. The twin Kotetsu to Kondou-san’s that broke during the fight in Aizu. The Kunishige whose blade rusted from being used as a farming tool but the Tsuba now belongs to Tsutomu. And after that in the Meiji I’ve used non-japanese swords but even an unnamed nippontou is still the best eventhough I ended up breaking them over and over again in the Seinan war, with the Battousai and even with Shishio. I partly unsheathe the nippontou, to inspect the blade. I had tried my best to not break this one eventhough it did take a good beating. The winner is the one who survives., isn’t that what I told them?
“Tsuyoshi,” I hold it out for him to take. “Do the honors and complete the altar?”
“Me?” He turns to Makoto and grins, “i won’t eat them – well maybe i’ll try -one- petal. I’ll be right back!”
He almost trips as he comes over and holds out both of his hand to receive it.
I sigh a little. He’s like a little too eager to act the part of a young samurai receiving a sword from it’s master as a gift. One that would obligate him to his lord for life.
“Just be careful with it.” I say as I gave it to him.
“Hai!” He shouts making his voice larger like that of a grown man’s. Carefully he goes to the altar and places the sword on the stand and bows to it. Mumbling something about sword spirits and protection. I’d tell him that’s probably overkill but I’ve known many men who would leave their swords on the altar daily and pray that the sword spirit protect the wielder if challenged.
“Where’s the wakizashi?” Tsutomu interjects. “Doesn’t true samurai have two swords? The Daisho.”
“Back then a wakizashi was indeed needed as a class symbol and I used it for indoor fights.” I watch as Yoshi goes back to Namuzawa with a very wide grin on his face. “But today, the Samurai class is -gone- and there is no need to carry two swords. One long sword is enough to fulfill my duties.”
I watch as he stares back at me. I can almost feel him wanting to say more but one day he will understand – there is more to being a Shizoku.
Finally I call my daughter over and hold her up in my arms.
“Thank you for -trying- to be proper and -almost- quiet little one.” I smile at her and finally feel some of the tenseness melt away.
I watch as Hajime looks at his sword, and again I’m grateful that I chose a good one, one that’s kept him safe and brought him home. Then he asks Tsuyoshi-kun to place it on the alter – an honor he takes seriously, even as he tries to affect a more manly tone. But it’s clear how proud he is, and I smile softly as he offers a prayer.
There’s another moment between him and Tsutomu-kun, and I can only hope that he’s listening. Learning. Finding his own way to a truth.
(Makoto)
Thank you for -trying- to be proper and -almost- quiet little one.
I giggle as he picks me up, high! I kiss his forehead (I’m up that high!). “Chichiue of course I’m a very good girl.” I giggle again. It’s hard to be proper sometimes, like right now. But I liked hearing about my name, and looking at the kanji for it on the flag. I hope he tells me more stories – hahaue said that he had a lot more than she did, but some weren’t for little girls. We’ll see!
“Oh! And we all made wonderful food for everyone,” I tell him. “We’re going to bring it on trays into this room, too!” It’s like back at the ryokan, in Ito, with all of the maids running around. I look at Tsuyoshi-niisan. “So you can eat nice sweets and not flowers!”
Hajime:
“Chichiue of course I’m a very good girl.”
“Oh… And a too confident one at that.” I tell her with a slight grin.
“Oh! And we all made wonderful food for everyone,” I tell him. “We’re going to bring it on trays into this room, too!”
I place her down. “Alright, then be a very good girl and help your mother and Yukiko…”
“I’ll go help them too.” Eiji stands up and I don’t stop him. After all I’ve always like how Hiroaki raised him to be humble and not be too stuck with what a man and what a woman should do.
Makoto looks back at Yoshi telling him not to eat flowers and I suppose that’s reference to him laughing at her earlier. Better not be involved in that mess.
“Hey Makoto-chan,” Yoshi stops her as she was following the rest, “Yagi-san promised me I can touch the baby. Can you remind her?”
I must be hard of hearing? What is this about babies and flowers? Again… Better not be involved.
SItting in seiza I close my eyes to get a little rest.
(OOC: You can proceed to take over this thread for the meals? Or just close it and start something for your story line. This likely ends the yoshi visit for me)
OOC – will reply in AM
(Makoto)
Hey Makoto-chan, Yagi-san promised me I can touch the baby. Can you remind her?
I was going to help but I stop.
“No no you can’t touch her!” I tell him, with a frown. “Then you’ll figure out how the baby comes out and take it with you!” But maybe he already knows how!
Oh no! Now he knows that I’m on to him! “You can’t take my little brother!” Chichiue seems to be resting, and Namuzawa-san… well, didn’t he take Tsuyoshi-kun from Chichiue? And I think that made everyone very sad. I won’t let it happen again!
Tsuyoshi:
“No no you can’t touch her!” “Then you’ll figure out how the baby comes out and take it with you!”
“What are you talking about?” I say with a smile, “You silly girl. Okay I’ll just ask Yagi-san myself.”
Tsutomu:
What are those two going on and on about? Oh it’s that little brother thingy isn’t it. I walk over there.
“Yoshi it’s -rude- you know to just go asking someone to touch their belly.”
I wink at Makoto-chan. “You shouldn’t ask Yagi-san.”
“Tsuyoshi!” A booming voice suddenly shouts, “Sit back down here!”
I spin around, that was Namuzawa calling him like… I furrow my eyebrows but purse my lips.
Hajime:
I’ve been trying to ignore the children and their disagreement about the baby but I can’t help but open my eyes at Namuzawa’s strong but reprimanding voice. I watch as Yoshi goes back to his side while Tomu steals dagger looks at his Uncle.
I shouldn’t get involved. This is a temporary thing I’m sure. After all from Namuzawa’s point of view, boundaries are very important and touching someone is not allowed.
What are you talking about? You silly girl. Okay I’ll just ask Yagi-san myself.
“You said that since Tsutomu-niisan has a sister you should get one too.” I cross my arms, “but you can’t have the baby, and it’s going to be a boy anyway.”
Tsutomu-niisan tells him that he’s being rude and yes, he is!
But then Namuzawa-san -yells- at Tsuyoshi-niiisan. I look at Tsutomu-niisan, and he’s mad. I don’t want Tsuyoshi-niisan to be talked to like a bad dog!
Then Hahaue and Yukiko-san and Eiji-san come back, with their trays. Hahaue looks confused because everyone is feeling bad. She puts her tray down, and I grab her hand and pull her over to where Tsuyoshi-niisan sits.
“Here! You can touch it but don’t take it out!” I pat her stomach, and then reach for his hand. “Our little brother is very strong and may kick you!” There! If I’m -right here- then he can’t be sneaky but I don’t want him to be sad and in trouble with the frowny Namuzawa-san.
That little girl is rather undisciplined. I watch as she drags her mother in front of Tsuyoshi and I.
“Here! You can touch it but don’t take it out!” “Our little brother is very strong and may kick you!”
“Hoi Hoi Makoto-chan.” That older boy, Eiji isn’t it? Comes over and says, “How about leaving the Namuzawa’s alone for now?”
He looks at me with an embarassed smile on his face, as if saying excuse me.
But Tsuyoshi seems to have forgotten his manners and reaches out to touch Yagi-san’s belly.
“Tsuyoshi!” I shout at him and bring out my wooden fan, slapping him -lightly- on the top of his hand. “You know better than to touch someone without their permission!” I glare at him. Only a week in Tokyo and he’s already forgotten much of his manners.
“I’m… I’m sorry.” He retracts his hand.
“I told you it’s not worth it.” Tokio’s eldest come over. “It’s not worth it to know.”
I glance at Goro who’s still at the opposite side of the room. Why is he not stopping this fiasco? Ah it’s because even back then he couldn’t discipline his sons and Tokio, she could hardly control them.
I look at Tsuyoshi, “Sit up straight.” I tell him, then to Yagi-san and the girl “Little girl, he won’t take your sibling. -He- is -enough-, just by himself. Yagi-san please pardon the rudeness.” I bow slightly.
(Hide)
When Makoto started dragging me around… I had no idea what she had in mind, and I’m just trying to stay -balanced- on my feet – and even Eiji-san is able to reprimand Makoto before I can.
“Tsuyoshi! You know better than to touch someone without their permission!
My back stiffens and I can’t help but wince – not just the light strike but the tone of his voice. Is this how he talks to Tsuyoshi-kun?
Little girl, he won’t take your sibling. -He- is -enough-, just by himself. Yagi-san please pardon the rudeness
Makoto steps back, one step, then two, then runs out of the room. I hear her footsteps going towards the back of the house, and then the back shoji door sliding open.
I bow. “Please forgive my daughter – I don’t know what she meant by what she said, but she’s having some difficulties adjusting to having a new baby in the family.” I bow slightly to Tsuyoshi-kun. “Most children are curious about the process.”
I’m not sure if I would have let him had he asked. Probably. I over-indulge my own child… I can almost -feel- the judgement radiating off of Namuzawa-san. He’s stern, but certainly more typical. After all, I had plenty of fan-taps in my own childhood…
I put on a slight smile. I can at least be a decent hostess, even if I can’t get about anything else right. What was it I was thinking about ikebana earlier? Right flowers, wrong placement?
“Oh, please forgive me. We have refreshments in order to properly welcome this room, now that it’s finished.” I step over to where I put down a stack of trays, and place the first one in front of Namuzawa-san. “Please, enjoy.”
(OOC – Makoto is in the treehouse. Unless you have more to do with the meal thread, you may close)
Otou-san is very angry. I guess I was wrong. I thought I had permission. Yagi-san said the other day…
“I told you it’s not worth it.” “It’s not worth it to know.”
I tighten my lip and look down. He’s right. “I just thought… Yagi-san said…” I don’t complete it. She probably just forgot or was humoring me? Then I see Makoto run out of the room and I’m told to sit up so I do.
“Sheesh.” I hear Tsutomu-nii speak, “I’m going outside.”
“Please forgive my daughter – I don’t know what she meant by what she said, but she’s having some difficulties adjusting to having a new baby in the family.” “Most children are curious about the process.”
“Now look what you’ve done.” Otou-san tells me. “There is a reason why you must conduct yourself more formally regardless of who it is. You are no longer part of the Fujita house nor this one, you are Namuzawa – it’s lone heir.”
“Oh, please forgive me. We have refreshments in order to properly welcome this room, now that it’s finished.”
“Thank you Yagi-san. We have enjoyed ourselves.” Otou-san bows formally and I do as well.
There’s chatter in the room but it feels like it’s far away. I have a sip of the tea.
I’ve been watching. What I thought was just the children’s mindless games turns into somewhat of a mess. Makoto runs away and I wait if anyone will follow and as expected it’s Tsutomu who does. Eiji and Yukiko are trying to be good guest and not leave Hide alone… While the Namuzawa’s…
“Now look what you’ve done.” “There is a reason why you must conduct yourself more formally regardless of who it is. You are no longer part of the Fujita house nor this one, you are Namuzawa – it’s lone heir.”
That statement catches. What does Shichiro mean by that?
But there was something else. What did she tell him? I take a sip of the lukewarm tea and try to get through the “formalities”.
I can’t say however, that I will be glad when they leave.
(OOC: Close)