Makoto is off to bed, so I head up to Tsutomu-kun’s room. I’ve asked Kinosuke-san to stay downstairs for now… I’ve not talked to him, though, about stopping construction on the treehouse. I doubt that would delay him anyway.
I knock on the door of the “boys” room. “Tsutomu-kun?
(OOC – Hide is in the hallway)
Early Summer Nights
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And now there’s a knock on the door. Isn’t it late? And she’s never bothered to come to my room before.
I open the door. Wondering what could it be. “Yes?”
He opens the door and I let myself in, sitting on the floor. I look over at his schoolwork – maps, and on another I catch words from our country’s past, and the other makes no sense to me at all. “It seems like your ankle has recovered well.” He’s stopped “borrowing” bandages, and I’ve not noticed a limp.
I look again at the schoolwork. “It’s too bad neither of my brothers live closer,” I say. “They could actually be useful.”
I start putting things away. I noticed her eyes were scanning them. No need for her to see what I’m -trying- to work on.
“It’s too bad neither of my brothers live closer,” . “They could actually be useful.”
“I can do things on my own.” I don’t need help, especially from -strangers-.
After things are stacked neatly on the table and I have nothing to do, I wait. But she doesn’t show signs of leaving so I open the window. It seems to get stuffy in here.
I can do things on my own
I nod. “I know you can.” He’s putting his papers away. “They’re a lot younger than me – Tamesaborou is by eight years, and Yuunosuke by ten. Yuunosuke teaches at a boys school in Kyoto and Tamesaborou is a lawyer.” It’s nice that he opened the window, this room gets a lot of afternoon sun and can get warm. “It’s been about seven years, now, since I left.”
His room is as I’ve always observed it – neat. I smile a little. “They were also much messier than you are. I was always having to pick up after them.”
I don’t know why she’s telling me about her brothers. If she misses them after being away for years, she should just go back to Kyoto. She can take -him- along too.
“They were also much messier than you are. I was always having to pick up after them.”
“It would be rude for a guest to leave their host’s place cluttered. That’s the -etiquette- my mother taught me.” This woman wouldn’t know of those things. After all she just said they kept their house cluttered, well she -did- pick up after them. I suppose they considered her more as a servant, a help in the house.
I look at the door. What’s the point of this? I have things I need to -finish-.
It’s obvious that he wants me gone.
It would be rude for a guest to leave their host’s place cluttered. That’s the -etiquette- my mother taught me
“And she taught you well, but you’re not a guest in this house; you’re family.” He’s looking at the door now. “But I’ve just been thinking a lot about brothers lately, that’s all.”
I look at him. So much of Hajime in him, but certainly a lot of his mother as well. And certainly she’s had the influence to turn him in this direction, and it makes me sad and angry all at once. But then I remember the pleading boy that Eiji-san told me about that made my heart ache. That’s who I have to help, or, barring that, at least keep out of trouble.
“I know… I know what you’ve been thinking about. Some I know from what I’ve overheard, but I also know it because I did it myself – it’s a… feeling. I ran away for a very different reason but irregardless, I did.” I keep my eyes on him, and my tone even, not accusing. “I don’t want you to do as I did. I didn’t have anyone to turn to. But I’d like to help you, -if you let me-.”
“I’m not going to wait for your father to return – I want to go ahead and write to Tsuyoshi-kun’s guardian and arrange for a visit. You have a two week break in July.” Softly I add, “I know that won’t fix everything but let’s start by getting you two some time together this way, instead of you trying to go there alone.”
“And she taught you well, but you’re not a guest in this house; you’re family.”
There’s no family -here-. There’s only them and us. And I don’t care anymore, “Us” will be just fine with Tsuyoshi, myself and my mother. She -won-. She can keep him. I don’t care what mother says either.
“I know… I know what you’ve been thinking about. Some I know from what I’ve overheard, but I also know it because I did it myself – it’s a… feeling. I ran away for a very different reason but irregardless, I did.” “I don’t want you to do as I did. I didn’t have anyone to turn to. But I’d like to help you, -if you let me-.”
It’s a trap. There’s now way for her to have known. I’ve not told anyone. She’s trying to get me to confess but two can play that game.
“Oh and what made -you- run away?” I cross my arm and look straight at her. I’m not about to admit to anything even if she’s spot on. Well she wasn’t spot on, I’m not just there to see Tsuyoshi. I’m bringing him back -home-. And then we all can be happy. They here and us -there-.
Oh and what made -you- run away?
“Your father and I quarreled.” That’s the easiest way to put it, as the real story would make me sound rather mad. “We were both to blame, but instead of facing it, I ran.”
“Running… the more it was in my head – it grew. It became the answer to everything – it was the -best-, the -easiest- answer. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Everything I did, all day long, was part of my great plan. That I wouldn’t hurt anymore. But I didn’t get what I wanted – there was no peace, no happiness – it was nothing -but- hurt. It was five hard years and the worst part is,” I pause, and swallow, -hard-, trying to hold back tears, “I took Makoto away from her father. One day I’ll have to explain to her – and maybe she’ll find it impossible to forgive me. Maybe she will. But that’s something none of us will get back.”
“Running away is a false promise. I don’t know what would have happened had I stayed. I don’t get to know. I know your reasons are vastly different but you’re looking to the same solution.”
I look at him again. “But I see it in you. You’re trying to ‘wrap up’ life here – by making sure Makoto-chan has her treehouse. And I heard you the other night, telling her that you would get a letter to Tsuyoshi-kun without a stamp. Telling her of souvenirs.”
“And let me ask you – what will you do when you get there?”
Of course. What else would it have been? He was -always- like that.
all day long, was part of my great plan. That I wouldn’t hurt anymore. But I didn’t get what I wanted – there was no peace, no happiness – it was nothing -but- hurt.
I just look at her. I’m -not- hurting. I have a plan. It’s not great but it’s a -plan-.
I took Makoto away from her father. One day I’ll have to explain to her – and maybe she’ll find it impossible to forgive me. But that’s something none of us will get back.
She looks like she’s about to cry and I look away slightly. I’m not sure why.
“You have him today. You’ll have him.” I grit my teeth and say in a low voice, “Makoto will be fine. You don’t even have to say anything because he’ll be -here-.”
“But I see it in you. You’re trying to ‘wrap up’ life here – by making sure Makoto-chan has her treehouse. And I heard you the other night, telling her that you would get a letter to Tsuyoshi-kun without a stamp. Telling her of souvenirs.”
So she did hear. I suppose I can’t deny it. I’m going home, there was -nothing- for me to find here. There was no hand to hold and no laughter to be had. Believing didn’t work and enduring didn’t pay off. Mother said to bring him back but you can’t bring back someone who’s never -around-. I look back at her, eventually he’ll come back for them and that’s -ok-.
“And let me ask you – what will you do when you get there?”
“I’ll take Tsuyoshi back to mother and we’ll live together.” I tell her the truth. Why hide it. “But I don’t want -your- help. I can do it on my own. -He- sold my brother to Namusawa and I’m returning the money back.”
You have him today. You’ll have him. Makoto will be fine. You don’t even have to say anything because he’ll be -here-
“Do you think so? She adores you. And I’ve heard from the head of the girls’ side of the school, who investigated the incident where Makoto cut class. -You- protected her. You didn’t deny her, and you came out holding hands. And the other day, with the crossing guard, you took her in your hand as well.” I tilt my head. “That tells me that you’re a -very- good big brother. And that’s what makes this all make sense – you need to take care of your little brother as well.”
I’ll take Tsuyoshi back to mother and we’ll live together. But I don’t want -your- help. I can do it on my own. -He- sold my brother to Namusawa and I’m returning the money back
“I… I wish it could be that simple.” I look out the window. “Do you know why Tsuyoushi-kun went to the Namusawas’? Your father was ambushed and almost died. The TMPD -kindly- sent him to London to recover with the best care, but took him off of active duty and therefore pay. Namusawa stepped in during that time to keep your family afloat. They also had been trying and failing for an heir.” I look at him. “I know you’ll continue to blame your father but he wasn’t there. And when he came home, he scraped together all the money he had, and approached Namusawa in order to get his boy back and that man -rejected- your father.”
“I was there, that night, when he came back. I’ve seen many of his worst moments but…” I can’t stop the tear that escapes onto my cheek, and my voice is barely above a whisper, “that was one of the worst. I saw him -broken- that day.”
“So as much as I wish that you -could- just show up to Aizu and claim Tsuyoshi-kun, I don’t think that it will work. So we have to work within what Namusawa allows, and keep as many channels open to show him that he has another family that loves him. He’s…” I smile a little, even though another tear escapes. “He’s a good boy. He’s sunny like Makoto. And that type takes all of the love they can get, and they reflect it right back.”
“And I know what you wrote to Eiji-san – ‘Mother’s uncle Namuzawa is taking Tsuyoshi away. He’s not doing anything about it. Come home nii-san’.” I look at him. That line has been stuck in my head since Eiji-san said it. “I can take your money; I can lock you in your room – but those aren’t my ways, even though with your father gone those are my rights. Instead, please… let me help.”
She recounts that time that -he- disappeared. I knew he was sent to London to recover. It wasn’t very different from the other times I remember him being away. Not coming home. But she reminds me he almost died, but he’s always said that comes with the job. Besides that’s what happens right? Kill or be killed. That’s how he lived.
he scraped together all the money he had, and approached Namusawa in order to get his boy back and that man -rejected- your father.”“I was there, that night, when he came back. I’ve seen many of his worst moments but “that was one of the worst. I saw him -broken- that day.”
Him? He tried? My head snaps back at Yagi-san but I see her crying? I avoid looking at her face. Why would she cry? It’s not her brother. And as for -him-… He’s not worth crying over. But he tried to get Tsuyoshi back? No. He was probably -weak-.
But broken? How can that man ever be broken? Wasn’t he supposed to be strong? He never showed weakness to -anyone-. “He didn’t have to agree to it.”
“So as much as I wish that you -could- just show up to Aizu and claim Tsuyoshi-kun, I don’t think that it will work. So we have to work within what Namusawa allows, and keep as many channels open to show him
Is she right? Would it really not work? I pull out the money from my pocket and I throw it on the table. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not taking anymore money from them.” I say angrily. And I was wasting it away too on a bunch of sweets and dumb things.
“I can take your money; I can lock you in your room – but those aren’t my ways, even though with your father gone those are my rights. Instead, please… let me help.”
I shake my head. I don’t want her help.
“I won’t run.” I look back at her, “But I won’t take that money. You keep it. I’ll write a letter and tell them to stop sending money here.” I’ll have to earn my keep somewhere. I’ll figure that out later.
Anybody would’ve done that. I just happened to be there
“He came to her defense right away and made the other student leave, and then helped Makoto-chan collect herself afterwords. No, not anyone. Tsutomu-kun did it with care – his hand on hers was proof.
He didn’t have to agree to it.
I wipe my eyes with my sleeve, much like Makoto would. “I don’t know all of it. But if he was on the other side of the world?” I shake my head.
It doesn’t matter. I’m not taking anymore money from them
“But why would Namusawa send you money? I thought it came from your uncle.” I think, musing aloud, “I assumed it was your uncle, or your father, supporting your mother, and through her, your pocket money. I don’t get any of your father’s income.” Thank goodness my family had prepared for my “old maid” future so I can keep this house going.
I won’t run. But I won’t take that money. You keep it. I’ll write a letter and tell them to stop sending money here.
I shake my head. “No, it’s yours, so just put it somewhere safe.” I scoot over and put one arm around him. If he doesn’t shove me away it will be a miracle, but I embrace him. “Thank you… thank you for staying. I do like having you here, and getting to know you.” Maybe he won’t take my help, but maybe he can accept some -support-. I end the embrace before he can and sit back.
“And the next letter – we will both write to Namusawa. After all, that’s why your father had the addition built – so there would be room for all.”
I stand up, slowly – I had been sitting too long. “Get some rest, Tsutomu-kun. You have a kendo tournament, and I’d really like to see you defeat that Genbu boy – if he is as obnoxious as his mother, he must be a -trial- to put up with.”
(OOC – Hide will exit unless stopped)
“I don’t know all of it. But if he was on the other side of the world?”
And that’s the problem. But I don’t say anymore.
“But why would Namusawa send you money? I thought it came from your uncle.” “I assumed it was your uncle, or your father, supporting your mother, and through her, your pocket money. I don’t get any of your father’s income.
Why would he? She’s right after all they now have Yoshi… It must be Uncle, after all it would -never- come from -him-. She just said it herself, they don’t get any support from him. Despicable…
She stands up and is about to leave and I turn and she embraces me. I don’t move. I can’t. But she ends it quickly enough and thanks me. I didn’t do her a favor. I simply thought my plan had turned out -useless-.
“And the next letter – we will both write to Namusawa. After all, that’s why your father had the addition built – so there would be room for all.” and I’d really like to see you defeat that Genbu boy – if he is as obnoxious as his mother, he must be a -trial- to put up with
I’ve lost my words. I just nod and let her leave the room. I put away the money since she wouldn’t take it. And if it’s not Namusawa’s who am I supposed to return it to? I don’t care. I’m not using it.
(OOC: Close)