“I’ve come back for my cigarettes.” I tell him.“You tricked me…” He looks at me angrily.
“Ah the other night… Yes I did. Here… More cigarettes?” I grin at him but he takes it.
We sit for a minute in that garden of hers.
“I was getting rather fond of this place.” He tells me. “But you… You held back.”
“I know.” I smile slightly at that, “I couldn’t accept it you know… I can’t accept anyone else in her life. Even when I said I’ll give her to you, I was only fooling myself, then and now.”
He’s quiet and I know, there is still something that’s not settled.
“Tell me, do you remember why you went to London?” I ask him.
“Aside from you asking me to?” He shakes his head, “I wanted a life… To settle things.”
I look at him as I drag on my smoke. “Settle things?”
“I had felt so incomplete… Incapable… My wife, my children and what the future holds. My job…”
“Was that all? Did you find anything there?”
He sighs and takes a moment to answer, “Not much, only a woman who…” smiles slightly, “there was this woman, an old friend. She kept me company… But she went away… Because I couldn’t move -forward-…”
He stops speaking and I give him a moment so I light another cigarette.
“Couldn’t let go of your past?” I smirk a little, one that he couldn’t see.
“There was always this “Charles” in the way.” He frowns, “And there was this -other- woman that she reminded me of, my wife Yaso. I was confused and slow.”
I chuckle at his complaining, “Slow… Well I can tell you, -she-, -our- Hide had always been slow.”
I pause determined to address all his questions that still pester, in him and myself. “But that woman Yaso, you loved her didn’t you? It wasn’t Yaso you were thinking about, when you kissed that night at the patio. -I- couldn’t kiss just anyone like that. I guess I fooled you a little, it was her, the one I knew in Tokyo.” He looks at me aghast. I just shrug at that. It is what it is and that’s what I wanted… -Her- and no one else.
I continue, “I can’t talk about Charles much like I can’t talk about Souji. In fact Charles is harder perhaps because I don’t know what kind of past they shared… And I wouldn’t hear it when she told me.”
“I had the hardest time you bastard.” He hisses, “Everytime I took a step forward, you’d… you’d step back!”
“Can you blame me?” I look at him, he’s -really- responding now… Now we’re getting somewhere. “It took me a long time to accept Souji as her past and I knew him to be a good man. I made an exception for Souji -only-. Although I do understand why she chose to be married to someone else…” looks distant for a moment and sighs, “I’m flawed like that, it was a flaw that I did not want to pass to you but since you are a part of me… I’m sorry that you ended up not being able to give her what she needed. It was -my- mistake. I -apologize-.”
His gaze turns hard and he doesn’t speak. He kept dragging on that cigarette of his.
“That’s what you really wanted right? To -settle- things for yourself and for that woman who you could only see in your shadowed memory.”
He stands up and looks around him, “Where is she?”
I grin a little, “I’ve taken her home.”
“Hmm… I guess that’s why this garden hadn’t bloomed in a while.” He stands by one of the bushes.
“Come back with me to Japan.” I tell him. “That was your story wasn’t it? To be strong enough to come back to Japan to -settle- things with Hide in “tow”.”
He chuckles a little, “I didn’t know if she’ll have me or if she’ll leave here.”
“Come now, she went ahead, -that’s- her -answer-.” I tell him. “Besides you have -unfinished- business there.”
“I’ll have to share -everything- including -her- with -you-?”
“No…” I smirk, “I’m selfish remember? And tonight I’m getting a present.”
He grins at me and disappears with the gust of wind that said, “She loves me more you know.”
Turning my back to her garden, everything disappears. “Ahou…” I say to the wind.
My eyes open to a dark room. My past in London I was dreaming about, it seemed like an eternity ago… I turn to smell the hair of the woman beside me. She came back… Not just from London and back here, but back to -me-. I reach for the cigarette on the table and start to smoke. Watching the ember glow softly in this dark room. I can’t help but think of our lives, what’s happened. Sometimes it is hard to know when the outside world stops and where ours begin. In the past few years that I’ve been with her, time was always an oddity, still is. But not just that, the memories we have are complex, sometimes even surreal. Who are the two or three Souji that I knew? Who is her Charles? Why are our friends sometimes dead? Sometimes alive? Why does a place made of bamboo and wood sometimes turn into steel and glass? I suppose if these things didn’t happen, it would be the end to her and I. I should be thankful for them, even if sometimes they -confuse- the -hell- out of me. Instinctively, my hands reaches out for hers and I hold her hand just to be sure. I smile at her warm hands, she’s real and I love her so, even if it’s the most imperfect thing that I do. I drag on my tabacco some more. Soon it will be morning.
The gentle smell of tobacco smoke…
His hand reaching to cover mine…
I’m pulled into waking after having it linger on the edges of my mind as I turn to him, my smaller frame snuggling into his larger one, my eyes still closed. I take a deep breath, inhaling his scent… some nights I feel as if I’ve been all across time and space, but here I am, in my Hajime’s arms, loved and treasured… all while I love and treasure this man.
“Mmm…” I say in a low voice, “I’ve heard it that you were ‘warm’.” Slowly, I begin to kiss from the place where head rests against his shoulder, up the line of his neck as my hands roam across his chest, around him to pull myself even closer. Finally, I reach his lips, opening my eyes to see the first thing I see this morning, his face, and I smile before kissing him.
“Let’s celebrate your birthday… I’d like to give you your present this morning.” I kiss him again, tender and loving, with the passion this man kindles within me beginning to stir…
?EURoeI?EUR(TM)ve heard it that you were ?EUR~warm?EUR(TM).?EUR?
“I was wondering how long you were going to make me wait…” I say as I turn my neck slightly to give her free access. I savor the attention she’s giving me, that smile that’s offered before such a tender kiss. I put my cigarette down on the ashtray to free both my hands and settle her on my lap.
The kiss ends of course and I’m left toying with the opening of her kimono. Ah so much ‘fuss’ over this little thing called an obi. I grin and look at her, but stay quiet. I let my hands touch her neck and cheek, it’s always been so smooth.
?EURoeLet?EUR(TM)s celebrate your birthday?EUR? I?EUR(TM)d like to give you your present this morning.?EUR?
We kiss again and this time I respond more ardently, tasting her mouth, feeling those soft lips. With her, it was always so easy to feel ‘warm’, wanting, needing… My hands reached down below to pull her obi open but I don’t and instead slowly pull away somewhat.
“There’s a superstition for the New Year. Whatever you are doing on that first day, you’ll end up doing the whole year.” I grin at her, “If I make love to my wife to be in the tatami room, I’ll be making love to her everywhere else and not the bedroom.” It is a warning of sorts… Not that I particularly mind.
“Well I had to wait, let the writer get some of her work done so I could be guaranteed not to be interrupted…” He moves his neck and I take advantage of what it opens up to me…a bit more of that warm, tasty skin for my lips, my tongue, my teeth to find delights in…
I grin back as he stops at my obi, going back to all those times… my obi has had a special place, as I’d opened myself to him. His hands glance across it again after our kiss ends, a wonderful kiss, leaving me needing him but delighted all the same. How I bloom under his affection, the love he gives to me.
I listen to his tale with raised eyebrows, a smile on my lips. “I do like this superstition… it would be great kindness to show to our futon-san, after all that we’ve put it through.” Of course, that leaves sofa-san and well… every other horizontal surface I can think of… I grin slightly… and some walls. “Although perhaps, to let futon-san know that we still appreciate its service, we should at least engage in some necking there before moving onto the bath,” I tease, and give him an example as I go for another kiss, my tongue urging his to dance with mine, only breaking away when I’m breathless and pink-cheeked.
“So if today, I untie my obi for my husband-to-be… what will that mean for the rest of the year?” Smiling, I reach behind, and under the bow and in a twist and a tug, it comes loose, and I lie it aside, on the table. The front of my kimono falls open, and I reach up to the buttons of his shirt that I had started on the night before.
?EURoeWell I had to wait, let the writer get some of her work done so I could be guaranteed not to be interrupted?EUR??EUR?
I only nod at that. Curious though that the “ahou” has not given me problems the past few days…
She tells me our “tales”, the names of our favorite places and a low laugh escapes me as I pull her close. “We should probably show appreciation to all of them.” I say, “but we can take our time. I am not a superstitious man.” We kiss again taking our time, it is not a hungry passion but something else. Is it contentment? I sweep my tongue into her mouth and she fights me but I pull her into mine insistent, until I knew she could no longer breathe and I let her go. I lick my lips after that and look at her expectantly. She does have a way of reading my mind, perhaps I’m just too obvious at times, because she undoes her obi for me. An old joke of course.
?EURoeSo if today, I untie my obi for my husband-to-be?EUR? what will that mean for the rest of the year??EUR?
She starts on the buttons of my shirt that’s already half done. I stop her hands from proceeding any further. “You don’t want to do all the work don’t you?” I say with a grin, this time finishing her handy work for her and tossing my shirt to the side. I couldn’t help it, immediately I’m back to her side holding her face with both my hands and kissing her rather deeply, but I refrain from pillaging and instead settle for a sweeter kiss and let my hands go to slide the kimono off her shoulders. I break the kiss and hold her at arms length, looking her over to see… I can feel something in me flicker and my eyes narrow at the sight of her. Suddenly I just want to throw her down the floor. I swallow hard.
“I look forward to this household appreciation,” I laugh. This is such a special place for us…
>>You don?EUR(TM)t want to do all the work don?EUR(TM)t you?
I grin, and stop then when I see him, half-dressed in front of me. Slowly I run one hand across his chest, then down, from shoulder to navel. Across the firm muscles of his stomach, up, up… I softly touch the scarred place, which will now carry another memory. Keeping my hand there, I lean in for another kiss. I always love this intimacy, but tonight… I can’t seem to get enough of kissing him.
Then I’m before him, with only his eyes on me as my kimono is discarded to the floor. I arch my back, slightly, his gaze, even without touching me, building the fire that is already flaming at my core. I look at him, my eyes burning, and I see his face tense up, just the bit. I reach for his hand, letting in rest at my hip as I move close to him, our bare skins only a breath apart. “How did that song you gave me once go? Lay your hands on me…”
?EURoeI look forward to this household appreciation,?EUR?
A chuckle escapes me with this remark. There was only one thing we’ve never done in this house but we’ll have time for that later. For now I turn all my attention to the woman who -will- be my wife.
She touches me and where she touches the skin starts to bristle, no more like to -burn-. I do not stop her curious as to what she’ll do, she traces a path from my chest to my stomach and then up just below my shoulder where that ugly scar is. I would stop her but she kisses me again and I close my eyes to enjoy and savor this kiss that she gives so freely. Like back then…
She’s beautiful. I can’t seem to tear my gaze away at her naked figure. A body that I know quite well, that I have treated with utmost care and yet ravaged at the same time.
?EURoeHow did that song you gave me once go? Lay your hands on me?EUR??EUR?
I grin as she places my hand on her waist. I -was- in fact staring. Standing like this less than an inch apart, is quite tantalizing so I let my free hand trace her back, making circles on her groove there, then I lightly push her towards me, just enough so that her breast grazes my chest. I smirk at her but really inside me… Without much ado, I take her hand and place it on my shaft that’s still tucked away in my pants. “Now look at what you’ve done…” I say as I cup one of her breast and knead it softly but it’s not enough… So I push her to a wall, just a few feet from the lamp and bend down to take her peaks into my mouth. I could never resist them for some odd reason.
Tonight seems to be one of slow torture but I won’t complain… as I am both receiving and giving in it. The light movements against the base of my spine sends shivers through me, while the meeting of my soft chest to his firm one is a delight… I’ve known this man’s touch so much, but every time, every touch, feels like he’s found a new discovery, a new place to draw out a reaction from me. I moan, softly, and then louder as his hands find my breasts, the tips already drawn tight, singing out for his touch.
His mouth finds my nipples, making me think, suddenly… when I give him more children, will he want to drink…? An image comes to mind, and I grin to myself, blushing slightly on already flushed cheeks and I stroke the back of his head, and my hands run down the back of his neck, caressing, to his shoulders and back again and I shift in his lap, my hips already aching to begin our dance…
Hajime then draws my attention to… I kiss the top of his head, grinning, and touch the evidence of his reaction to what we’re sharing here tonight. Firm and warm under my fingers, I make quick work of the belt, it joining my obi somewhere across the room and unbutton his pants, drawing it out… the skin where he’s warmest. Now free from its restraints, I am able to fully engage his shaft, from tip to base I touch him… trying not to go too fast, instead to savor this night…
Her whole body is warm to the touch, in fact I didn’t even need to touch it to know that. I suckle on her breast some more, liking that it’s responding to my attention. I kiss in between the peaks of her chest, up to her neck and run my tongue along her collarbone. But I leave that place and start to nibble slowly at the back of her ear.
It’s then that she manages to get to my manhood. I try not to move for a moment and wait for those soft hands to start -torturing- me. She moves and I close my eyes, but when she touched the base of my shaft I couldn’t help but sigh in her ear. Slowly I get back to nipping at her ear and flicking my tongue inside. I wonder if she can feel my hot breath but I decide to move from there and settle my lips on her neck. For a moment I bite the flesh there but that’s not the kind of mark I want to leave so I suck on that spot slowly, while my hands now start to roam further south, kneading her waist, her legs, till finally disappearing into her center. Closing my eyes I try to pay attention to everything that’s happening around me, but I’m torn between her ministrations, her smell and warm folds that invited my fingers.
Hot… his skin, the trails his touch leaves across my skin, the breath I feel from where he releases my breasts to my ear, then back to my neck…. one hand remains on his shaft, stroking it, the pleasure I’m giving to him radiating back to me. My other hand reaches down further still, to the sacs below, and I caress them, exploring all the ways that I can use my hands on him.
Groaning as I feel his lips, then teeth, then a tight, sucking feeling… Tomorrow, and for days after, I will carry the mark of this night we shared ourselves… “Hajime…” his name comes out as a soft whisper… that would make me smile more, but instead, I had to focus more on breathing as his hands moved on the lower half of my body.
Those fingers within me, I rise and fall against them, and I find his mouth, and share with him another kiss. Not breaking it, I straddle his lap, for a moment I feel lost as I rise out of his fingers and move my hand from his shaft… to welcome him into my womanhood, which his touch has left so ready… so needing…
The kiss ends and I open my eyes to look at him… this man I love so much… smiling, panting, I look at him as he fills me in that perfect way, and I shift as I squeeze him… ahh… but with that I cannot hold back, and I pull close to him and begin to move.
She calls my name, how I love to hear my name pour out from her lips like that. Leaving her neck, I clamp my mouth on top of hers, demanding her tongue to wrap itself with mine. I can hardly breathe at this point but I don’t break the kiss. This time, the sweetness is leaving and there is that feeling again, a need, a hunger that needs to be fulfilled. How this woman manages to toss my feelings so easily… It is frightening.
The juices in her womanhood flows from my finger to my palm as she lifts herself away from me. I sit there immobile, disoriented with this passion that I am trying hard to control. She takes me into her womanly folds, the warmth and her tightness elicits a growl from me. I hold onto her arms as I let her move on top of me. From this vantage point I have a clear view of her figure that is illuminated by the dim lighting. I smile at her as she moves and I watch her breast and hair bounce in the air. I can’t help but turn that smile into a -very- wide grin. I pull her to me, crushing her breast in my chest and claim her mouth again. I secure her waist with my hand, wanting to set the pace. I want to relish her some more so I stay her hips and demand her to go slower.
Breaking the kiss I look into this woman’s eyes and wonder… What is it about tonight that she seems to want me so. Or am I just dreaming?
I move, as he urges me on… and I look down and see him… grinning! I would laugh but I can’t at this point, breathing is hard as I gasp for breath. My future husband… I also enjoy that growl of his…
Then I’m close again, and we move.. slower. And the urges singing in my blood… they certainly don’t quiet, but they… deepen, reminding me his is a man to cherish, our time is to be savored… I gaze into his eyes, now like pools of melted gold, burning still. I reach up to touch his hair, now wet with sweat, back from those eyes.
Moving slower, I can fully take him into me on each movement down. I kiss his face wherever I can reach him, from those lips that I can’t seem to have enough tonight, the tip of his nose, his chin, across his cheeks… I also take advantage of the pace to squeeze him, liking the feeling that I am able to embrace him with my entire body, as I do with my entire self.
She stares back at me, those soft brown eyes and yet I see -fire- in them. I’m glad for that for all the years we’ve been together, -that- has not changed. She showers me with kisses -everywhere- on my face, I would grin at such an act but now it is impossible to do so. I find myself gritting my teeth for each squeeze she starts giving me, and my mouth parts to try to breathe.
We could go on for hours like this, no… Maybe -she- could but I can’t. Not with what she’s doing to me. “Hide…” I say almost in a whisper. I stop her movements and pull out from her. For a moment I’m dizzy wanting her womb again to embrace me but, I have to move her…
Her whole body feels light like a feather as I nip at her lips and lay her down on the blanket. I kiss her lips one last time and tower above her, guiding myself between her legs. A shiver runs through me again at that contact, that penetration, but this time I move slowly at first while staring into those eyes, but it seems I’m losing myself as I start to dig into her with more persistance. I place her hands on my back, wanting those nails to keep me grounded as I pound her relentlessly. So much for savoring the moment, I’d smirk at that but I can’t. I’m almost certain my eyes has started to turn to glass, lost in the gift she’s giving me.
For how long did we stay like that, slow and entwined? Like ocean waves, bit by bit it tore at my composure, until I was on the edge, but I hear his voice, saying my name.
For a moment, on the floor, as he enters me I’m lost to his eyes again. He moves and it’s slow, I can’t form the words to tell him, I don’t think I have that much time but instead only gasps come out.
Then he moves, powerful thrusts, surging into me… the full force of him, focused all on our joining. My hands have found their way to his back, and I grip in tight on his slick back, thinking I need this to keep up, but my hips… they know this dance and move with him, rising and falling, pulling and sinking, to a song that comes from the sound of our rapidly beating hearts. I’ve known so much passion with this man… but each time, it’s like I’m discovering something new and breathtaking, these places he takes me to.
Then I feel myself suddenly begin to unfurl after being too tightly wound, and my hands clench him tighter as each one of his movements produces such a feeling… like each one sets off reactions which sets off its own reactions… Tightness, one last charge of energy in the thrust of my hips, the squeezing of my muscles. I arch my body upwards, I cry his name as I feel it burst within me, racing from my core to my heart, and down across my body, leaving it ablaze and shaking, reveling in what we’re sharing tonight as I reach for my Hajime.
She finds her rhythm, very much in tune with mine. Rising and falling as I toss us in this wave of bliss. She holds onto my back and I in turn hold on to her shoulder, my fingers digging into her skin. She seems to gasps for each thrust I make and I relish the sounds coming from her. Didn’t I say once, that it was like music to my ears? The little moans, whispers, gasps, and everything else…
She shakes under me and I know she’s close. I bend down to taste her lips one last time knowing that we’re both about done. My heads settles on her shoulder as I still push and pull on top of her. Almost there… I close my eyes and hold her tighter still as I finally feel it bursting from within me, right into her center. My head starts to spin and the littlest muscle on my body start to spasm in waves, until finally everything stopped and all I could feel was her shaking from under me.
Panting quite a bit, I pull out from her and give her one last kiss, really it was more like a -smack-. Suddenly I’m laughing, I don’t know why. But I am… She must think I am a mad man. Well she might as well know everything about me. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her close so she fits perfectly into my frame.
“I must say, this is probably your best “present” yet.” I grin. I know she needs to leave soon.
And then… as my bliss crests, feel his lips on mine, his head against my shoulder and I’m held so tight against him… as I feel him pouring into me, filling me,
Then he kisses me again, and it’s so playful, and I smile, all the ways we find to kiss… tender, sweet, passionate… there’s probably one hundred more that I can’t name but like the way I love him, it presents so many facets… and he laughs! I’m still working on breathing and he laughs! But the sound brings me its own pleasure… I smile back, and kiss him. “I love you,” I say, my face aglow not just from our lovemaking, but for so many of the things he stirs within me.
Settling close to him, I nuzzle his chest before settling in to where I could look up at him. “Is it?” I grin up at him, grinning down at me. “We’ll have to practice more, so I can deliver something -very- amazing for your next birthday.”
I don’t want to think of going… I look out the window, it’s still dark. “I’m not going anywhere for tonight.” Not that I’m sure I -can- move much. “Our little one will sleep in after last night… perhaps we should go give our futon-san a visit, now that we’ve given the rest of the house its New Years appreciation?”
?EURoeI love you,?EUR?
I look back at her and this time drop the grin from my face. “I love you -more-.” But just as I tried to look serious, a smile breaks out from my face. It seems I’m losing a lot of control today.
?EURoeWe?EUR(TM)ll have to practice more, so I can deliver something -very- amazing for your next birthday.?EUR?
I nod at that. There is something however that makes me wonder… It’s been so long since we tried but I don’t say anything. I could be wrong after all. “Just make sure to untie your obi for me.” I tease but I still wonder.
Our little one will sleep in after last night?EUR? perhaps we should go give our futon-san a visit, now that we?EUR(TM)ve given the rest of the house its New Years appreciation??EUR?
Standing up, I start to dress. Well at least put my pants on. I purposely do not get her kimono. I still like to look at her after all. “I know the women in my life, like rides.” I tell her and scoop her up along with the blanket. “But you, I’ll only give rides to after your “presents”. You’re not a child after all.” I say and take her to our room upstairs, I stop for a moment and kiss her cheek, “Have fun on your trip but not too much.”
(OOC: you may close)
>>I love you -more-
And then he looks happy… and all I can do is embrace him close to me.
>>Just make sure to untie your obi for me.
“Hai,” I nod. “Isn’t that how we started the new year, after all?” I can’t help but to laugh myself. We will always have that…
He gets half-dressed and leaves me clad only in a blanket but I don’t mind. I like him looking at me… and before we settle in for the night, I’ll get those pants off…
He carries me, as he always does, and as I hoped he would… while I may have to about jump sometimes to kiss him I do love being small enough to be carried around by him. I grin up at him at the top of the stairs. “Ah but see, I get my rides… but you get your fine pillow.”
We settle in for the night… or what’s left of it. I fall asleep, with a smile on my face as I fall asleep in the arms of the man I’m going to marry.
(OOC: close)