History, yeah right

In behalf of an idiot I have allowed her to post some rants and ramblings?EUR?
Begin please moronic good for nothing pseudo-writer?EUR? *grins*
*kizu enters and coughs*
I?EUR(TM)m writing this not to elicit a response from the people who are reading this. Those who ?EUR“can- read it are friends only of the ugly wolf and imaginary anyway. And those who do actually exist has been more than slighted before by these same group of people so I know they will forgive me if I rant to them, instead of ranting elsewhere like my beloved cel journal. Yes I closed my personal journal because it was too easy to track and I finally got enough of the LJ bullshit. Today I took myself off the mailing list of SHQ so that I no longer receive their e-mails or what I like to call spam. I?EUR(TM)ll be honest I didn?EUR(TM)t take myself off there, first because I was deluding myself that I MAY still had some friends there, which I can now say I REALLY DON?EUR(TM)T. Of course it?EUR(TM)s because I?EUR(TM)m not useful so I am EXPENDABLE. *smiles* I?EUR(TM)m not a smart history researcher, I?EUR(TM)m not a Tokio x Saitou writer (or fan) and I?EUR(TM)m hell not a big fan of Aizu either. I AM A FAN OF THE SHINSENGUMI?EUR? But if you?EUR(TM)re not one of the previous three, it really doesn?EUR(TM)t matter if you?EUR(TM)re a Shinsengumi fan. I also didn?EUR(TM)t take myself off there because I am worried about my reputation which someone had managed to damage already. Yes I caught someone named ?EURoeOff-Topic?EUR? more commonly known as Sec posting something in her GJ about an argument we had privately. Just one e-mail mind you to gain the sympathy of her ?EURoepeers?EUR? and yet discounting the previous 20 plus something e-mail because it would TELL THE WHOLE STORY. But fuck I don?EUR(TM)t care anymore about her at that time, but I did care about what is said about me publicly so yes I was monitoring SHQ spam to make sure no reference was made to HNK, to my friends and myself. Because with all the anonymous messages I get, the e-mails from strangers I tracked back relating to them it can make one so suspicious you know? Of course she did troll the forums at HNK which I eventually banned her for. Oh don?EUR(TM)t worry she still uses the site almost every single day monitoring what we put up. It must be hard for someone like her to see someone dumb like me trying to read history books and posting up what I read, especially when it comes to Aizu and/or Saitou. Does anyone still give a fuck about the Shinsengumi in SHQ anyway? Aside from using the Shinsengumi to draw in people?EUR(TM)s interest to Tokio, Aizu and their research about the Meiji era? And hell how many times have I been bitched to about the Shinsengumi fans liking non-serious stuff like Rurouni Kenshin, Kaze Hikaru and Peace Maker? That it?EUR(TM)s a sad thing according to her that people spend their time looking at keychains, finding out what?EUR(TM)s new in PMK, squeeing about Okita and his non-fictional romance counterpart? How about Hirotada (Masayoshi) who said Rurouni Kenshin is the worst thing to happen to Japanese history?EUR? And yet publicly they also use those popular shows as if they were really fans and yet completely turn around to bait everyone else to history. Hey nothing is wrong with using popular culture to draw in people to learn history, but it?EUR(TM)s a bit two faced to me when you talk behind your members back about how they are not serious and are wasting their time and money for liking what they do, instead of spending all their time on history.
History is a good thing. I can?EUR(TM)t say this enough?EUR? People won?EUR(TM)t believe me because I will take the fictional world of RK, PMK and KH over history any day. I do not think anything is wrong with that because it?EUR(TM)s just preference. I appreciate history for what it?EUR(TM)s worth but to me it?EUR(TM)s not worth it enough to replace what I really DO LOVE. I just think it?EUR(TM)s not right to belittle others for thinking like that and certainly if you love history more than fiction, that should be fine too. I will NEVER EVER belittle anyone who prefers one over another. My mother whom I love so dearly and many other teachers/professors whom I respect were history teachers! Both my adopted parents were teachers too and have appreciation for history as a subject. I?EUR(TM)m sure I?EUR(TM)ve said this before but since I grew up with them, I do know that history isn?EUR(TM)t just about finding the truth?EUR? It has a social purpose that it must serve. Once history stops serving that purpose then it loses value and is no longer a worthy subject. But for it to serve it?EUR(TM)s purpose it must be not only be socially relevant but also ethical and true.
This is what is troubling me about the Shinsengumi community of SHQ. It should be simple isn?EUR(TM)t it? A true Shinsengumi fan would know the word ?EURoeMakoto?EUR??EUR? Sincerity?EUR? Loyalty?EUR? Being ?EUR“true-. And yet the community that I once help build is no longer that. It merely serves the purpose of a few like those great researchers. It?EUR(TM)s not even focused on the Shinsengumi anymore, the Shinsengumi is more of a by-product of their Aizu and Tokio subjects. Using the Shinsengumi and/or Saitou as a tool to draw people into the history and yet that history is not even reliable because it is presented in filters that only support certain point of views. Like for example today, I got a spam talking about what Saitou said about Otori?EUR(TM)s army. How Otori?EUR(TM)s army abandoned Aizu and Saitou the taciturn man that he was, spoke against it. They like to quote things, give you page numbers, give you bibliography and yet?EUR? I know that the source they quoted did not end there. The author himself was EXAMINING ALL THE AVAILABLE INFO. This quote of Saitou came from Shirobee?EUR(TM)s diary which was not conclusive and upon further examination by the researcher/writer Ito Tetsuya with regards to other journals, encampments and dates, it threw considerable doubt to this diary entry, leading Tetsuya to believe it was only an impression of Shirobee because it did not add up to the other facts.
Another thing that I do not like is the presentation of these researches. How many times must I read how hard it was for Aizu? It was hard for Aizu and everyone else. I do not like reading pity pleas. The treatment is almost similar to how Romulus Hillsborough treated his book and who is excited about those slants? See I guess if SHQ wasn?EUR(TM)t so adamant about professionalism and imposing that on others, which their researchers tried to do in HNK while it was still affiliated, maybe I would be more forgiving because then I know it is fair. It?EUR(TM)s a bit of a double standard to require this of others and yet blatantly do it because the rules don?EUR(TM)t apply to them.
I guess all I can say right now is?EUR? It is also quite funny how instead of filling up gaps in the Shinsengumi research, they have decided to go over what was covered already in HNK and I?EUR(TM)m not surprised considering Sec or ?EURoeOff Topic?EUR? has been on the HNK site everyday whenever I post a history subject in the forums. It?EUR(TM)s kind of funny that M would be the one doing all the leg work for Sec. I wonder if he knows the former doesn?EUR(TM)t quite trust his ?EURoeJapanese skills?EUR?. Har har?EUR? But I guess everyone?EUR(TM)s a bit desperate now aren?EUR(TM)t they? Gah?EUR? At least have some decency and post exactly what Ito Tetsuya said?EUR? Don?EUR(TM)t steal quotes just to lead credibility to your POV when it?EUR(TM)s not really what the book meant. I admit?EUR? Even my own research is highly flawed?EUR? I CANNOT READ JAPANESE?EUR? And contrary to people thinking I have some secret translator, I DO NOT. I?EUR(TM)m using an old trick some scanlators tried to do before?EUR? Transcribe kanji and run them through many online translators. Do I have confidence in my posts? Yes I do because I have tested some of them via a human translator and certainly I tell all those who bother to read those posts EVERYTHING. Not just PARTS. Because I believe my readers are intelligent people that they can come to their own conclusions and I do not like HIDDEN AGENDAS. Heh?EUR? How come no one is mentioning that Fujita never got his name from Matsudaira Katamori? Well it wouldn?EUR(TM)t be a pro-Aizu idea.
Will anyone believe that I had for a very long time hated Saitou for what he did? Since the great researchers of SHQ kept feeding me unreliable info I actually at one point believed Saitou had separated himself from the Shinsengumi (particularly that Hijikata and Saitou had a falling out ?EUR“ this was their story)?EUR? And don?EUR(TM)t even ask me about what was said about Kondou.. Gah. So that?EUR(TM)s why folks?EUR? In the end I realized they really didn?EUR(TM)t care much of how I would feel as long as Aizu came on top because Aizu and Tokio are the center of their research, not Shinsengumi. And we all know that no one there really likes Hijikata?EUR? That?EUR(TM)s too bad because I still do.. Just like I came back to liking this stupid stupid wolfie?EUR?
Am I an Aizu hater? No I am not. Saitou was from Aizu and Yaso was from Aizu. Aizu sponsored the Shinsengumi during their stay at Kyoto. However I will not glorify Aizu in the same manner. Many people will say that without Aizu there would be no Shinsengumi, perhaps not the same Shinsengumi we know now, but one must remember that the Shinsengumi was already in Kyoto for quite a few months and it just so happened that Serizawa Kamo had Aizu connections. Like it or not?EUR? It wasn?EUR(TM)t that Aizu recognized that the group Miburoshi was great and they were one big happy family. For one Matsudaira Katamori DID NOT want the job of Kyoto protector. He WAS NOT thinking about JAPAN. He was thinking about his own clan. He rejected the job twice I think and eventually got forced into it. Okay go on and say he was a saint. No he wasn?EUR(TM)t this was a political move to maintain Aizu as one (if not) the most powerful clan in the court. But since he did not want at the time to be blamed for stirring trouble between the clans like Choshuu, they had allowed the Miburoshi to stay to do their dirty work. The Shinsengumi EARNED their keep! It wasn?EUR(TM)t just bestowed blindly. Kondou himself wanted to disband the Shinsengumi because of the Bakufu (and incidentally Aizu)?EUR(TM)s indecision to stand their ground about the foreigners and the other clans. I am not dreaming?EUR? I have read this and also seen this in movies (of course if I was to take SHQ seriously nothing in the movies, manga or anime could ever be true)?EUR?. But why do you think it?EUR(TM)s always emphasized that Aizu and the Bakufu was a bit butterfingered and the Shinsengumi being forced to do what they must? AKA like the Ikeda-ya?EUR? AKA like the escape of the Shogun from Osaka? What I am trying to say is?EUR? Yes it?EUR(TM)s important to note Aizu?EUR(TM)s sponsorship but yet it?EUR(TM)s ALSO important to note and NOT DOWNGRADE that the Shinsengumi did earn their position as a respective force of the Kyoto protector. Got it?
I am not unbiased?EUR? I no longer delve much into history because to me it has gotten too dirty. It?EUR(TM)s been months since I?EUR(TM)ve been motivated to do anything history related, even Saitou. It irks me when Aizu is glorified to new heights or made to look like some sort of martyr. Call me cold but part of Aizu?EUR(TM)s downfall was their unpreparedness?EUR? And don?EUR(TM)t even ask me about Katamori?EUR(TM)s ?EURoeexploits?EUR? which never reaches the frontpages. I can?EUR(TM)t help feeling this way because I started and help start SHQ and it was great at one point, Tokio and Aizu did not dominate and certainly there was more focus on Shinsengumi and more truthfulness in the research work. Forgive me if I am this way now?EUR? Because I?EUR(TM)m still so bitter about everything and how it STILL KEEPS ON HAPPENING TO UNSUSPECTING PEOPLE. And no?EUR? I can no longer have debates, arguments, etc. etc. I AM TIRED OF HISTORY IN RELATION TO THIS. PRESENT HISTORY AS WHAT IT IS OR WHAT THE BOOKS SAYS IT IS?EUR?
Someone instead I think should focus on Tama?EUR? That small town where the core Shinsengumi members came from. You will be surprised at what you find out?EUR? Their story for me is more relevant and even uplifting. They were also involved with the times, they were also suppressed but the story there, their advocacy for local government units are in my eyes more noteworthy and perhaps unappreciated. The other day I was watching ?EURoeShinsengumi?EUR? a very old film maybe vintage 1932 and it was the only film that showed the Tama people, how they interacted with Kondo, Hijikata, Okita upon their return from Toba-Fushimi. But who cares ne? It?EUR(TM)s not Aizu even though it is Shinsengumi?EUR? And this comes from a Saitou fan?EUR? AN RK SAITOU FAN, because RK Saitou could care less about clan loyalties, but he does care a lot about the Shinsengumi. Hahahaha?EUR? Talk about debasing oneself.
*wolf groans* ?EURoeWell that was a mouthful. Done now??EUR?
yeah?EUR?
*wolf chuckles* ?EURoeGood.?EUR?