Swan Song

We couldn?EUR(TM)t quite make it?EUR? The other half of the blue plate is still lying in my room. She was a dream that I couldn?EUR(TM)t quite reach, even when we found ourselves together again?EUR? Even with a daughter I wanted so badly. Why?EUR? I don?EUR(TM)t know. Only that my heart breaks even when I?EUR(TM)ve trained it to be as hard as steel.
It shatters like glass everytime I think. Of her.. Of us?EUR? Of what could?EUR(TM)ve been?EUR? And even what could be. I?EUR(TM)ll resign my fate?EUR? I don?EUR(TM)t deserve her?EUR? Did not deserve them?EUR? Never did. I am a failure. A man who could not hold his beliefs is despicable?EUR? But a man who cannot do anything for those he professes to love?EUR? He?EUR(TM)s better off dead.
I?EUR(TM)m just an actor after all. A figment of the imagination?EUR? What?EUR(TM)s amusing is, in a world of impossibilities?EUR? The chances for us to live happily together was nil.
I wonder?EUR? How it would be like if?EUR? It was her instead of Tokio.
I can?EUR(TM)t do it anymore. I can?EUR(TM)t even tell my daughter who I am and she won?EUR(TM)t either. That means something doesn?EUR(TM)t it?EUR? It points to something doesn?EUR(TM)t it?
She wouldn?EUR(TM)t even tell me the truth because she fears me. What I?EUR(TM)ll do?EUR? What I?EUR(TM)ll say. I am such a horrible man no wonder she left me.
She found an ogre, a demon disguised in a wolf?EUR(TM)s clothing. Even a wolf is majestic creature?EUR? Too bad I?EUR(TM)m no longer a wolf just a demon?EUR? An imaginary demon who wreaks havoc in her life and cannot make her happy because of my ineptness?EUR? My shortcomings?EUR? I wish Souji was alive?EUR? He would?EUR(TM)ve been so perfect for her. He wouldn?EUR(TM)t have made the same mistakes I did. And most of all he wouldn?EUR(TM)t repeat the same mistakes over again.
DAMN IT SOUJI! JUST TAKE HER?EUR? TAKE HER AND END OUR MISERY. END THE MISERY I CAUSE.
*takes katana?EUR? sits down in seiza?EUR? guts himself?EUR? waits to die*
*closes his eyes?EUR? the painful dream will be over soon*
Saitou-san? It?EUR(TM)s Kizu here?EUR? *looks at her friend?EUR? closes his eyes for him and sits beside him*
I?EUR(TM)m sorry old friend?EUR? sleep peacefully.
*writer closes this chapter on Yamaguchi Hajime’s life.*