Work has been exhausting and having to keep an eye on Makoto all week… not just for her sake but some of the employees would rather play with her than do their work. I have to be vigilant… lest Sugiyama-san notice and say something. I know with most it’s because the staff does like my daughter, but it is -work-. Even this morning I went in for a couple of hours to help settle guest accounts.
Makoto looks over at me and speaks up. “Can we go swimming today? Or to the beach?” She’s bored I know… and except for Isamu-san, the Mochizukis have gone out to visit Hiroku-san’s parents out in the country, so she doesn’t even have Isuzu-chan to play with.
“No… not today,” I sigh. I’m tired… it’s been to hot to sleep well lately and there’s been so much… I even worked Wednesday, my usual day off. I brought a small tray table out with me, because it’s cooler on the engawa than inside, even with the house open. Numbers… I’ve been staring at numbers all week. Fall school fees and a winter uniform weigh on my mind.
In a long week like this I’ve longed to see Hajime… his presence is something invigorating, somehow… and after a day of being Yagi-san to be simply Hide. To know that he’s just down the road… he’s busy as well, as I saw on Monday. Even though the fishing job is a cover he works hard… but I do wonder how much longer his official reason for being in Ito will last. And I don’t for a moment forget the wife and children he has in Tokyo.
Makoto sits on the engawa with me, and plays at “working” as well. Except on her little table she has paper and colored pencils and is drawing instead of trying to make sense of money.
I close my eyes, leaning back against the post. I can’t think about my personal finances right now, the numbers swim in front of my eyes and my hand cramps around the brush. The sound of the cicadas lulls me to sleep but I can’t stop making lists in my mind, of how I should go water the garden, it’s not rained in a while. Laundry…
(OOC – Hide is napping. Makoto is on the engawa.)
Saturday, June 27th, 1885 – Afternoon
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After unsuccesfully dragging Saya to come with me to the Yagi’s. I decide to let her be. The girl complained about not getting enough sleep but I think I already know why she’s been persistent that I go here alone.
In a way, I feel sorry for her that she has to get stuck here but I have received word from Kawaji that this will over soon. I can only feel thankful for that.
The afternoons here in Ito are slow… Life somehow is at a standstill for a few moments and then suddenly shuts off as night comes. Typical of country towns… Even if this is a tourist spot, it is not yet a full blown city like Tokyo.
Casually I let myself in. Looking across the garden I see Hide resting by a column and Makoto… What a perfect scene, I think to myself. Isn’t this what I had wanted? I shake my head for a moment.
Putting on my best smile I approach them.
“Konnichi wa.”
I’m working hard on this picture. Since it’s our house there’s lots of flowers so that’s a lot of work.
Konnichi wa
I look up and smile, and after chasing after the green pencil that’s trying to roll away off the edge. “Hello Yamaguchi-san!” I call out before remembering and looking over to Okaasan. Still sleeping, good.
I jump off of the engawa and come closer, and say in a quiet voice, “Okaasan fell asleep.” But all that math is probably boring. “Did you come to play with me? We could go to the backyard, or you could draw with me.”
The child looks at her mother… Obviously worried that she might’ve waken her. I nod slightly and and look down at what she’s working on. A drawing I suppose of this house. Looking around, I decide to walk towards the back.
No sense in waking up Hide.
“Do you like living here?” I ask as we walk. My eyes drifting at the ocean below.
I follow my uncle to the other side of the house, to the back. I run trying to catch up with him.
Do you like living here?
I think for a minute, and look at the water, like Yamaguchi-san. What is he looking at?
“Mostly,” I think for a minute and look over at him. “But I’ve never been to anywhere else. I’d like to, though.” I’ve seen the map at school and Japan is a lot bigger than Ito. Okaasan says we will go places -one day- but she makes that sound like a long time away.
I stop by her base and let myself in. Sitting on that one rock that has a good vantage point towards the water. Reaching into my pocket I start to smoke.
“But I’ve never been to anywhere else. I’d like to, though.”
I watch her just standing there as she speaks. Her eyes look over to where I’m staring. There’s nothing there of course.
“I’m sure you’ll see other places. The time just comes, sometimes quite unexpectedly.”
Briefly my mind wanders to that place called Europa. I was always weary of foreigners coming into Japan, destroying what we have… But it was outside that helped me recuperate. How ironic.
“Either way you’ll find that, you’ll always want to return to where you first started…”
Looking up I realize I’ve been deep in thought with furrowed brows. Fixing that, I grin at Makoto.
I’m sure you’ll see other places. The time just comes, sometimes quite unexpectedly.
I nod, and go to kneel by my rocks, moving them from one stack to another. “You think so?” I like the idea of going someplace where there’s more things. Maybe they’re not as stupid.
Either way you’ll find that, you’ll always want to return to where you first started…
I look back over at him, sitting next to him on the rock. Nobody really talks to me like this, well Okaasan sometimes. “Did you? Where are you from?” I like his grin and I smile back at him.
“Did you? Where are you from?”
With a quirk of an eyebrow, I take another long drag.
“Aa… I’m back here in this country. That’s enough.” My eyes roam the small place wondering what the rocks are for.
“But originally we came from Edo. If you didn’t know Edo is now known as Tokyo, where I live and work…”
I pick up a shiny rock and examine it. “What are these for?”
He talks about Tokyo… I knew that! Well, that he lived there. Okaasan and I used to send him letters before he got sick.
What are these for?
I look at the rock. All of a sudden I feel shy… “Things I want to remember to tell.”
I pick up another. I’ve never told anyone… not even Okaasan or Isuzu-chan. It’s not really like having dolls. It’s why I keep them safe back here. It would seem silly… Isuzu-chan wouldn’t understand, and Okaasan…
“Aiko-san in the kitchen where Okaasan works is a good cook but she forgets things, like when she runs out of things – so she writes them down. I couldn’t do that yet, so she said I could do something else. She knew someone who used string… but I liked rocks.” I hold up one with ink smudged on it. “I have a lot and now I can write some but I can’t write on these.”
I look at the rock he’s holding. “That rock I found on the way back from the stream, that first day you came to see us.” So I would remember to tell him about the day I met my uncle Yamaguchi-san.
She speaks of the people at her mothers workplace?EUR? Naturally of course, recently she?EUR(TM)s spent a week there.
“Aiko-san in the kitchen where Okaasan works is a good cook but she forgets things, like when she runs out of things – so she writes them down. I couldn’t do that yet, so she said I could do something else. She knew someone who used string… but I liked rocks.”
I squeeze the rock slightly. ?EURoeIt would?EUR(TM)ve been easier to keep tabs on strings?EUR? But if you like them, I guess it doesn?EUR(TM)t hurt. I write list?EUR? Long lists, letters and records. So I remember?EUR? It?EUR(TM)s probably just out of habit from work though. I never really liked doing it.?EUR?
She watches the rock on my hand as if I was going to take it. I place it beside her since I have no reasons to carry a rock.
“That rock I found on the way back from the stream, that first day you came to see us.”
?EURoeSou ka?EUR??EUR? Taking a short hit on my cigarette I realize I don?EUR(TM)t remember that day at all?EUR? Not much of Ito after all.
?EURoeThe best thing to do if you don?EUR(TM)t want to forget is?EUR? To do it right away.?EUR?
I grin at the irony?EUR?
It would’ve been easier to keep tabs on strings…
I shake my head. “I would have to use scissors and after my hair Okaasan and Mochizuki-san keeps them hidden.” I -still- think it was a good idea.
The best thing to do if you don’t want to forget is… To do it right away
I look down at the rock that he was holding. “I have to wait…” Then I look at him…
She giggles as he lifts her up. “Tell me, Isuzu-chan, what my little girl has done today.” I look down at her dolls as she talks to her father. Okaasan will ask me but it’s not the same…
I dig my toe in the dirt, and in a little voice I say, “it’s for when my father comes… so I remember to tell him everything.”
“I would have to use scissors and after my hair Okaasan and Mochizuki-san keeps them hidden.”
“You’ll only cut yourself… Actually I was thinking more of making a knot for each…” I shake my head, perhaps I’m sounding like an idiot. Ah it can’t be helped. “Rocks will do.”
“I have to wait…”
She fidgets slightly and I sigh. It’s no use after all.
“it’s for when my father comes… so I remember to tell him everything.”
“I see…”
And there are so many rocks… A wry smile settles on my lips.
“Don’t you ever ask your mother about him?”
About me?
Actually I was thinking more of making a knot for each…
My eyes go wide. “I didn’t think like -that- – Aiko-san told me about the woman who tied them around her fingers.” Too many of those would look funny.
Don’t you ever ask your mother about him?
I scoot closer to him. “Sometimes. She used to look sad when I did, I think she missed him too.”
I think back to a day at the beach, after Yamaguchi-san left, when she told me… “But last time she talked about him and she smiled… even if it was silly.” I laugh, trying to imagine. “Okaasan dressed like a boy?”
“But…” I bite my lip, “talking about him isn’t really the same.”
Makoto looks surprised… Hasn’t she ever tied a knot?
“I didn’t think like -that- – Aiko-san told me about the woman who tied them around her fingers.”
“That would look quite funny ne?” I grin, “But I used to tie knots as a boy. My father taught it to me to secure rafts… Nowadays all I use it for is to make balls.”
She scoots closer and I for some reason held her shoulder. Quite small…
“But last time she talked about him and she smiled… even if it was silly.” “Okaasan dressed like a boy?”
“You’re mother made… a wonderful boy.” I think about the past, those lost days that somehow still linger and causes things to happen now. That is how Hide and I were, perhaps what drew us now is our past in Kyoto and Tokyo. Something that crept slowly and I realized early on the reason I found myself comfortable with her was she shared -my- past.
“But…” “talking about him isn’t really the same.”
I’m jolted out of my reverie by daughter. Standing up I crush the cigarette under my boots. “Let’s go back. Your mother might get worried.”
And I’m sorry about him Makoto…
Nowadays all I use it for is to make balls
I smile. “Like the one you made me? Will you make me another, in yellow? Do you think I could learn how to?”
You’re mother made… a wonderful boy.
I still think that’s funny. “You knew her then too?”
He stands up and the way he talk changes. Did I make him sad too, like when I ask Okaasan about my father? But why would it?
“Wait,” I tug on his big hand, and I look up at him. “I like you. I want to see my father but I still like you too.” I thought about that this week because Aiko-san was trying to figure out why Okaasan would go have lunch with Yamaguchi-san. I was confused that she thought it was something to giggle over, because he’s my uncle.
“When I think about him now… I think about you, that I’d like him to be like you.” It’s strange and I don’t really understand. Sometimes I have dreams about my father… he reads me stories and talks to me and plays chasing games and lifts me way up. And makes Okaasan smile.
“Like the one you made me? Will you make me another, in yellow? Do you think I could learn how to?”
So I made her one… I blink for a moment trying to remember how it was. Deciding to play the part I nod at Makoto.
“You knew her then too?”
“Ah… Something like that.” I move on to get out of her base but Makoto tugs at my hand and I look back. I was about to ask what was wrong but I didn’t have to since Makoto goes on in sudden spurts…
“I like you. I want to see my father but I still like you too.”
“When I think about him now… I think about you, that I’d like him to be like you.”
I wonder what I should say to that. Whether to just grab the moment and tell her… But I don’t know the man Makoto met here. I just grin slightly, maybe I did do something right in this mess.
“It’s a short walk to the engawa… But I’ll give you a ride on my back if you want.”
It’s a short walk to the engawa… But I’ll give you a ride on my back if you want
I nod, grinning, glad he’s smiling at me so telling him was right. Okaasan said it was alright to ask things – is it alright to tell things too? I climb up to stand on the big rock and hold my arms out. “Hai! Let’s go see if Okaasan is awake.”
I wake up with a start, realizing that I knocked the bottle of ink over, and now there’s a black puddle and an empty bottle on the ground by the engawa. Thankfully only a few specks of ink splashed onto my kimono…
Where is Makoto?
Her pencils and papers are where she was drawing earlier. I listen and I hear voices in the back… hers and Hajime’s. I smile, closing my book as I get up.
“Hold on.” I say and place her arms around my neck. Makoto isn’t very heavy so it was easy to lift her up. We walk back to the engawa with ease of course.
As I thought it was a short trip. Her mother comes into view, I walk up to her and then placed Makoto back down on the engawa.
Looking Hide over I see she’s had a little bit of an accident. Making no mention of it I nod my head and bring another cigarette to my lips.
Makoto and Hajime come back around, with her taking a ride on his back. I smile at the sight… she laughs as he puts her down.
“Hello, Hajime.” I watch them… how I love to see them together.
“Having fun?” I ask her, and she nods happily. “Yamaguchi-san gives good rides.”
Then she looks down at the ink, and frowns a little, “you spilled ink?”
“Yes. I should be more careful, ne? Even on my kimono. I should go inside and try to clean this up…”
“Hajime? Could stay for dinner?” I ask, standing closer so I can take his hand.
“Hajime? Could stay for dinner?”
“I’m not really hungry.” I see she’s going to hold my hand so I slid my free one into my pocket while the other still held the cigarette.
“You should get -that- fixed.” I look to the speck on her kimono. “And then perhaps prepare dinner for the two of you. I’ll smoke here for a while.”
I blink as he rebuffs my hand, hiding his away. Heat rushes to my face, flushing my cheeks… how foolish, Hide… when he is barely speaking to you.
You should get -that- fixed.
“Ah.” I nod. “I’ll see to that.”
I glance over at Makoto. We can’t really talk… as much as we ever -can- talk -here-. “Do me a favor?” I ask him, my hand going to rest on his arm. “I’m going to get out of this one, could you bring some water up to my room so I can clean it?” It will dry better there than in the bathhouse, since Makoto will be splashing around in there shortly.
I turn to go inside.
(OOC – starting a new thread. Saitou can follow or not as he wishes)