I dress in my uniform today. I have business with Chief of Police Toshio anyway.
“Hurry up Saya, I am -not- missing that train.” I tell her and quicken my pace.
I use my keys to get inside the Yagi’s garden and I see the lights are already turned on.
Good… She’s ready.
Turning back to the octopus I ask, “You have -everything-?”
June 16, 1885 Tuesday
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“Of course I do.”
I sigh and move to knock on the door. Guns, bullets all mixed with my books and my clothing. If this keeps up I’m going to be smelling of gunpowder soon, but I do need to keep Hajime happy.
“Yagi-san?” I call out and turn to Hajime. Obviously he’s not coming inside, he seems intent on smoking his cigarette.
How many did he have already?
Yagi-san?
I hear Saya as Makoto is finishing breakfast and I’m making her lunch… checking that I have everything…
“Just a moment…” I call out. I smile over at Makoto. “Finish your breakfast,” I tell her. I did get her up earlier but I did want to see her before I left…
I step out to where Saya and Hajime are. “Good morning… my things are ready…” I bring my bag outside. I’m not bringing -too- much I hope. “Did either of your have breakfast yet?”
“Saya will have breakfast. We don’t have time.”
I take Hide’s bag and wait by the gate. Women -always- does this for some reason. I nod to both of them, indicating that they should say their goodbyes.
I go back inside. “I’m going now, alright? Be good…” I blink rapidly as I hug her tightly and I feel her arms around me. We hold onto each other for a long moment… this of course isn’t the first time we’ll be apart.
Makoto brightens up as she sees Saya. “Good morning Asuka-san,” she smiles sleepily. “This is a little early,” I tell her. I hand her the keys to my house and go over some things. “Thank you…” I tell her. With one last glance I look back at my daughter in the kitchen…
Hajime already has my bags and I join him at the gate. I smile over at him. “I’m ready to go,” I tell him, noticing that he wears his uniform this morning.
I walk out of the gates and stop momentarily for Hide to close them.
Can she move any slower?
Finally she finishes and we walk down the hill.
“I can’t believe this place has no carriages this late in the morning.”
Frowning I remember I should really get a watch. Guessing time isn’t a fun hobby.
“Usually not in this part of town – there are some down where all of the onsen and ryoken are.” I almost have to run to catch up with him – he’s so much taller than me he does move a lot faster.
Finally we’re at the train station, and it’s not as busy as it will be for the later trains. Tourists -never- want to get up too early, I think with a bit of a smile.
“I still need to get my ticket?” I ask. looking over at the ticket counter. We didn’t really discuss practicalities the other night. I was being too… ah well.
Ticket? I openly scowl.
“You had three days to prepare Hide. Certainly yesterday…” I sigh and stop myself. If I keep talking.
“Go. I’ll find us a seat.”
I crush the cigarette butt under my boots and leave her, proceeding up the platform and alight the train.
He stalks away, scowling…
He’s in a foul mood this morning, perhaps because… no, I -know- that since he’s come back to Ito ever since losing his memories… a long time ago he would tease me for being slow, now it’s like this…
I shake my head as I stand in line for my ticket. Why I didn’t think ahead… that can’t be helped now. I pay and go to the train, getting on I look around in the car for Hajime.
Seeing him I smile a little… I’m still glad to be making this trip. I go to where he’s sitting and take the seat next to him. “Ah, that didn’t take too long…”
“If you’re hungry Saya sent with me some cakes.” I point at my own bag besides hers. “This will be a long trip but we do make a few stops if you need anything later.”
Then I remember, she’s slow.
“Or you can just tell me what you need and I’ll get it.”
I shake my head, “no, I did eat a little with Makoto-chan this morning.” A quick onigiri as I was making her lunch. “But probably later, thank you, but tea would be good at some point…”
I hope she remembers her lunch…
The train starts and Ito starts to slide away from us. I look out the window. “I’ve only left here once since I came here six years ago,” I say, looking at the ocean in the distance, glittering with the morning sun. “And the last time I went to Kyoto was…”
Two other trips to Kyoto, so different from one another. I turn my gaze from the scenery to look at Hajime. “It’s been a while. Thank you for letting me come with you.”
I’ve only left here once since I came here six years ago
“Once?” I quirk my eyebrow, of course it doesn’t escape me that she was in Tokyo a month ago looking for him. She looks out the window and I frown. The thoughts she must have of Makoto’s father…
“It’s been a while. Thank you for letting me come with you.”
“Betsuni. It’s only a train ride.”
Suddenly I feel uncomfortable sitting beside her.
“I should get that tea now before the train starts moving.”
Standing up, I go to the front of the train. It’s a crowded car I notice, just what’s needed in the early morning…
Before I can reply he’s out of his seat… just a few days ago…
I smile, wryly. Things change fast. I turn to look at the window again.
Then something he said…
Betsuni. It’s only a train ride.
My eyes open wide. Of course… we’re not going -together-. I didn’t even make plans on where to stay… even if I walk into Mibu and I’m welcomed with open arms it would be a bit assuming to think that I’ll stay there… I think to the ryoken by the train station where I stayed six years ago. That will do. I know Kyoto well enough I should be able to find something.
But it’s not so much about where I’ll stay… I came now because I thought I would have Hajime with me to support me when I need him so badly. Even if he was coming here for work I had hoped…
Suddenly overwhelmed with the need to be busy, I dig out from my bag my sewing… doing some nice embroidery on the top portion of Makoto’s yukata.
I’m overreacting. The motion of stitching calms me somewhat. Just ask… just ask…
I poke my head up to look above the seats. Where is he?
I come back with tea on one hand and coffee on the other.
“Scoot over by the window.” I tell her and hand her the tea. It’s no use of course, I can’t smoke here.
Putting down my sewing, I move closer to the window and take the tea. Taking a sip… I was so rushed this morning I didn’t have time even for that. Glad for the familiar taste…
“Thank you,” I say, looking over at him as he sits down. “How long will this trip take?”
“Well into the evening I think.” Of course it’s much faster now. I did want to get to Kyoto and speak with Toshio-san as soon as possible. The faster that’s done.. I might be able to save a day and return to Ito quickly.
Evening? Good… I didn’t want to arrive in the middle of the night.
I look up at him but I can’t get past the buttons of his uniform to look at his face.
“Are we staying together somewhere? Or are we parting ways once we get to Kyoto?” I ask, lifting my eyes to look at his.
“You are not going straight to your brothers?”
I watch her closely. Sometimes I think in some aspects Saya and her are alike.
Surprised, I answer. “No… it will be rather late, and they don’t know I’m coming. I’ve not contacted them since right after Makoto was born…”
I look down at my lap. Taking the chance I just tell him, in a quiet voice, “I wanted to come with you because this is very difficult for me. I want… I need you… I didn’t expect me you to come with me to my brothers but to know you were there to support me. I -know- you’re here for work but… at the end of the day I want to be able to talk to you… even if I find there what I hope, or even if it’s all of the things I fear.”
I look outside the window as the train started moving.
“If you can wait till tomorrow around lunch time, my business should be done and I’ll go with you.” I drink some of the coffee, “but I think your fears are not well founded. I told you before that I spoke with Tamesaburou-kun.”
I’m not sure how to answer her first question. If we were to stay together… But it will be late of course…
“I’ll get us a room.”
I stare at the moment at my cup, contemplative. It’s true we’ve crossed some lines but I’m a grown man. I -should- be able to handle this.
but I think your fears are not well founded. I told you before that I spoke with Tamesaburou-kun.
“It’s not Tamesaburou… or Yuunosuke I worry about.” Although knowing that Tamesaburou -was- worried about me was something that helped me in deciding come. “After Tamesaburou married Hanako-san we did not get along… that was something else that was a factor in me leaving Kyoto years ago. I went back once after that and we made some peace… but I’m not sure now. I -hope- she will welcome me back as well.” I sigh.
“I can wait until afternoon… thank you.” I tell him.
I nod at his comment about a room. He seems uncomfortable with the idea so any light, teasing remarks I would have made stick in my throat.
“I see.”
Crossing my arms I make no more comments. Women are women and I already have a hard enough time with them.
I lean back and drummed my fingers on the arm rest. It’s going to be a -long- train ride.
Yagi domestic dramas… oh, I don’t want him to regret his offer to come with me…
He drums his fingers and I place my hand on top of his, “this will go faster if you don’t fidget so,” I say in a soft voice, and I lean my head against his arm.
“I’m -not- fidgeting.”
I look down as she lays there. I lift her head slightly and pull her closer letting her lay on my side while that arm goes around her waist.
“It’s too bad… The trains from Ito to Kyoto takes a different but shorter route. I wouldn’t mind seeing Ueno, it’s a clear day.”
I smirk slightly thinking about the place. I know it like the back of my hand. All that time “patrolling” will do that to a policeman I suppose.
I’m -not- fidgeting.
His insistence sounds so much like Makoto I can’t help but laugh softly. Something in me relaxes as he puts his arm around me…
It’s too bad… The trains from Ito to Kyoto takes a different but shorter route. I wouldn’t mind seeing Ueno, it’s a clear day.
“Ah yes… today would have been a good day. Someday, then?” I tilt my head up slightly to look up at him with a smile. “We’ll go back there…” I move closer but look down, realizing what I just said…
“No… You shouldn’t go back there.” I tell her more out of selfishness. She did say Makoto’s father was there and I frown as I see her look down.
“Especially if the place hold bitter memories for you.”
Had I been more clear with what I was thinking with regards to this relationship, I’d tell her openly that I do not want her to look for him. That she should just content herself with what she has… But… that’s the problem, she only -thinks- that, she could be wrong…
No… You shouldn’t go back there. Especially if the place hold bitter memories for you.
I reach for his other hand and play with it… how I like these gloves. “Some bitter but some are not. I would hate to curse a place simply on past associations, especially one as lovely as Ueno… the sakura there are simply stunning.”
It’s strange that we talk of the same thing, of memories with the same but he doesn’t know it… no… strange is not the word. Sad. It’s almost overwhelming to be aware of the things he’s missing now.
I look up again at Hajime, at his frown. “If you take me to Ueno it will be a place of happy memories for me,” I say with a soft smile. It was there he took me that night after dinner and gave me the little music box…
“No curse on people and no curse on a place huh?”
What a lovely world you live in Hide…
I watch as she continuously plays on my gloves. Well I can’t begrudge her anymore if she can’t make up her mind. I can’t make mine up either so in that respect we are equals. At least she did take a chance…
If you take me to Ueno it will be a place of happy memories for me,”
“No neko-chan. Absolutely not…” I pause and decide to tell her a little about the place, “Although I speak of it well… I do not go there anymore.”
No curse on people and no curse on a place huh?
“I once did, to certain people and places… but I buried it so deeply I wasn’t even aware of that I had. But it’s a very -tiresome- thing to hold onto such things forever.” And a very heavy, blinding thing… that almost kept me from seeing all of the chances I was being given.
No neko-chan. Absolutely not… Although I speak of it well… I do not go there anymore.
“I see… then we’ll have to make memories in other places…” Just as in the other night my heart leaps a little at the use of the old name… “Mmm… any certain reason?” I ask.
“Mmm… any certain reason?”
I shrug and take my hand. It’s getting to be quite hot but the sun’s not to high yet so it must be from the steam engine itself. Removing my gloves I replace it into my breast pocket.
“Memories in other places…” I repeat her words in a low voice. I don’t want memories. I only want two things but it’s not something she can give. “Maa… Work first. I need to get that back.” I mutter to myself.
Memories in other places…
I speak mostly of what I want with him… our past, present and future.
Maa… Work first. I need to get that back.
Still something wrong with his job that he wouldn’t tell me about then. “Get it back?”
Keeping my eyes on his face, I say, “you can tell me these things. I may not know what to say but I want to know the things on your mind. If nothing else than to give my support… but you have that irregardless of if you speak or not.”
I reach back for his hand, now free of that glove.
I let out a breath. How to tell this woman about my work? How even with all her help before it ended up miserably…
Just say it. Then she won’t have to ask…
I give in, if nothing else than to finish this discussion.
“You saw how it was in Tokyo. I worked hard of course but..”
Finding myself shaking my head I turn her palm over.
“It didn’t pan out and one day during the hanami festival… I was careless and got ambushed.” I chuckle, “Pretty pathetic ne? No wonder my boss is all about getting me some busy work…”
It didn’t pan out and one day during the hanami festival… I was careless and got ambushed. Pretty pathetic ne? No wonder my boss is all about getting me some busy work…
“No… not pathetic,” I say, thinking this must be the reason for the scars and stitches on his chest, and hanami… is that his aversion to Ueno? “Sometimes, as good as you are… no matter how hard you work, or how careful you are…” I pick up his hand and press my lips to it before putting it back down. “I saw you fight then and knew of your work back before. I’ve never known anyone else so dedicated and devoted.”
“But busy work? Keeping Asuka-san safe is hardly that, I would think. You had the idea to keep her in a very -boring- place but it’s still a responsibility that they entrust to you.”
“Bah…” I scowl at the mention of us back then. “Don’t speak like that you knew me.”
I’ve had my share of blunders and vices while in the Shinsengumi of course. Even before that I was in the yakuza unlike those people who came from the Shieikan. She saw them.
“Just because Souji and I were friends doesn’t mean we shared the same sentiments. It’s easy I guess to glorify a dead man.”
There was one thing I did not like in my stay there. Souji was my opposite, the elite swordsman, the head instructor, the moral and innocent one… A real samurai by birth and blood. He was everything I wanted to be and never could.
But he’s your friend…
I narrow my eyes at my thoughts.
He was… But that doesn’t mean I can’t hate what he stood for and he still is.
I grit my teeth.
“Suma… You should go to sleep it’s still a long ride.”
Boring job… Saya… I -know- that already…
Bah… Don’t speak like that you knew me.
“Mmm… but unlike a lot of other people now… I knew what you were a part of back then. I saw… or I believe I knew… the men, not the wolves.” I lace my fingers through his.
Just because Souji and I were friends doesn’t mean we shared the same sentiments. It’s easy I guess to glorify a dead man.
“At times… but time makes it easier to see him a little clearer. He was fickle at times, and terribly oblivious. He also underestimated me… he never would tell me about what happened outside of my house, thinking I was too delicate for such things.”
Suma… You should go to sleep it’s still a long ride.
I smile at him one more time. “Thank you for telling me… it’s like the other night, when I told you, support goes both ways. You’re going to help me… as I will listen do you, if that’s all I can do, just -listen- and be here for you. I hope one day you’ll talk to me about your work again.”
“But sleep is a good idea…” I snuggle a little closer to him, getting comfortable against him. I didn’t sleep much last night, due to nerves and my mind spinning from everything that’s on my mind. And… as in years past I find it’s a good sleep when I’m in his arms.
“At times… but time makes it easier to see him a little clearer. He was fickle at times, and terribly oblivious. He also underestimated me… he never would tell me about what happened outside of my house, thinking I was too delicate for such things.”
I… This talk… In the back of my head something is telling me there’s something wrong but I can’t put my finger on it.
“Don’t say things just to say them or to make things better.” I look at her hands. She told me before what he was to her. “My issues with him are my own. It is not something for you to involve yourself with.”
The first time I saw her in Tokyo, she was looking for him… But then I’m struck, why did she smile when clearly I had no other answer for her other than that she was looking for a dead man. Didn’t we visit his grave before?
But why were you smiling?
I close my eyes. I need to get some sleep and it came rather easy with this woman beside me.
Why?
(OOC: Ends wolf)