June 12, 1885 – Before dawn and shortly thereafter

24

I stirred awake because of a slight noise outside. Immediately I reach for the gun under pillow and slid the shoji of my room open. ?EURoeWho goes there??EUR? I ask and point it towards the shadow.
Who goes there?

Ito

Hajime

24 thoughts on “June 12, 1885 – Before dawn and shortly thereafter”

  3. ?EURoeIt?EUR(TM)s I.?EUR? I tell Saya and locked the main door. It?EUR(TM)s dark of course so I head to the corner and lighted a lamp. Somehow I feel so exhausted and the sake from earlier has made it hot. Taking my cigarette pack from my breast pocket I start to smoke.

  4. He?EUR(TM)s smoking and it?EUR(TM)s almost dawn?EUR? I decide not to go back to bed, I?EUR(TM)ll be leaving for work in a few hours anyway. Putting the gun away, I head to where he sits.
    ?EURoeCoffee for you??EUR?

  5. ?EURoeThere?EUR(TM)s still a few hours. You should sleep.?EUR? I blink for a moment. I?EUR(TM)ve dwelled on it before about how worthless this life seems to be getting each passing year and how I seem to grab at strands. Never has it been so obvious as what happened earlier with Hide.
    Looking up, I see Saya?EUR(TM)s still standing there staring at me. I smirk, ?EURoeFine. I?EUR(TM)ll have breakfast ready when you get up ?EUR“later-.?EUR?

  6. ?EURoeYou look like an oni when you do that Hajime-han.?EUR? I frown and flicked one of his bangs. ?EURoe?EURoeOkay Hajime. Time to spill and do speak the truth?EUR? You know that I can always catch when you lie.?EUR? I smile a bit. That was one thing I?EUR(TM)ve always took pride in. I knew him well enough to detect even the slightest hint of worry in his voice or when he tries to cover up.

  7. I can?EUR(TM)t help it. This time all I could do was shake my head and suck more on the tobacco.
    ?EURoeAfter this is over?EUR??EUR? I might as well talk about work, ?EURoeI?EUR(TM)ve decided to move to Hokkaido.?EUR?

  8. My eyes go wide?EUR? Hokkaido is far, even for him. I frown but reach from under his arm and settled my head on his shoulder.
    ?EURoeWhere were you tonight??EUR?
    Perhaps we can start there. Maybe I can get an idea of what just happened.

  9. ?EURoeAh nothing important, I was just taking an evening stroll. I couldn?EUR(TM)t go to sleep.?EUR?
    I narrow my eyes.

  10. I see?EUR? Of course he?EUR(TM)s lying. He was so eager to put me to bed earlier and there?EUR(TM)s only one place where he could?EUR(TM)ve gone to. But why would he come back here so late and in such low spirits? I can only think of two who could possibly bring him down so easily.
    ?EURoeIs your wife on your mind again??EUR? I ask in a low tone. We?EUR(TM)ve spoken before of course of his wife. He?EUR(TM)s never gotten over her, at least until he met Hide. He?EUR(TM)s hated how his work and marriage did not mix like oil and water but he has always been uncompromising. There are things I know he believes in and does, even when he doesn?EUR(TM)t like the result.

  11. I shrug there?EUR(TM)s no point beating around the bush. ?EURoeYes earlier, but you must be tired of hearing about Tokio.?EUR?

  12. I squeeze his forearm. ?EURoeAhou?EUR? Don?EUR(TM)t you remember? I handle the talk of your wife quite well.?EUR? He?EUR(TM)s wasn?EUR(TM)t the first after all who came to me lamenting a failing marriage. Of course men who were happy with their wives would find no need for another woman. ?EURoeBut you?EUR(TM)ll hear the answer the same answer from me of course. You must forgive yourself and move on.?EUR?

  13. ?EURoeTch?EUR? There?EUR(TM)s nothing to move on to Saya.?EUR? I answer her rather clipped this time. If only I could bring myself to be amiable towards Tokio, perhaps talk like we were indeed humans. We had good times and we have children… One cannot just simply “move on”. If only I can get some form of closure.

  14. ?EURoeAhou?EUR??EUR? I turn up to look at his face. How I loved watching him sleep those nights. ?EURoeYou forgot already what you told me didn?EUR(TM)t you? I should?EUR(TM)ve known your type likes to dish out advice but have a hard time following it yourself.?EUR?

  16. ?EURoeYou were extremely happy back then?EUR??EUR? I tell him. I could of course tell him the reason why, but no I decide not to. I just can?EUR(TM)t bring myself to say anything about that woman, so instead I tell him of things only he and I know. ?EURoeThank you for not letting me ?EUR“work- again.?EUR?
    If only that was enough to bring him back?EUR? But I know it?EUR(TM)s not. I am not that person whose words carry that heavy of a meaning for him. But I ?EUR“do- know that he was always happy when he knew he was doing something good, especially if it was for someone he cared for. The country after all does not know the man who lurks in the shadows to keep her safe and cannot smile back at him in appreciation, only a person in flesh and blood can do that. Behind that placid face he showed to others, that bearing that makes him come across as off-putting, that mask disappears when he is with close company. So I turn his face towards mine and show him a genuine smile that I hope he can understand. That he was indeed someone who?EUR(TM)s done me good.

  17. Her eyes shines a bit and I feel slightly better. She?EUR(TM)s been there for as long as I can imagine, an old lover but most of all a good friend. ?EURoeThank you Saya.?EUR? I turn back to dragging on my cigarette.

  18. I breathe a sigh of relief. He?EUR(TM)s still with me?EUR? Somehow but I ask myself for how long? And suddenly I?EUR(TM)m angrier at that woman. If she doesn?EUR(TM)t remember why she loved him in the first place?EUR? Why does she keep him around? I look down to where his hand is and I take it in mine. It?EUR(TM)s too bad even with his memory of her gone, nothings changed between us.
    ?EURoeHajime?EUR? What do you think of Yagi-san??EUR? I ask?EUR?

  19. I?EUR(TM)m a bit startled by her question but decide to answer her truthfully, ?EURoeShe?EUR(TM)s a kind woman. I don?EUR(TM)t know precisely why but I have taken an interest in her.?EUR? I shrug lightly, there was a reason?EUR? I did look at Hide a long time ago but it?EUR(TM)s quite bizarre why an old infatuation would resurface now?EUR? I notice she?EUR(TM)s stopped playing with my fingers, ?EURoeBut she won?EUR(TM)t have me for many reasons. I am after all not like?EUR??EUR?
    Immediately I stop. Something about that thought burrows deep in me. That I wasn?EUR(TM)t able to do anything for her?EUR? But it just didn?EUR(TM)t make sense why it would bother me in such a manner. Since when did I want to devote so much time to Hide? And since when did I desperately seek to bask in her acceptance? Much less hope that I?EUR(TM)ve done something good for her?EUR? Why do I even ?EUR“need- her? No?EUR? This isn?EUR(TM)t making sense. For a moment I toy with the idea, if this was all real then I?EUR(TM)d have no reason to stay after all because there was no reason to. I hold my head with my hand, the smoke from the cigarette catching my eye making it sting.

  20. ?EURoeShe won?EUR(TM)t and yet she leaves it entirely to fate?EUR??EUR? I scoff in a hush tone, but what if fate wasn’t as kind? ?EURoeAnd if a person can?EUR(TM)t accept you as how you are?EUR? I think you are better off without her.?EUR?

  21. ?EURoeDo not speak that way Saya. Even I won?EUR(TM)t settle for anything less?EUR??EUR? I look up at her as I reprimand her. ?EURoeAnd you are in no position to judge Hide, she is a proper woman. It was I who made the advances.?EUR? Of course this isn?EUR(TM)t entirely true?EUR? But I could not tell for sure if Hide did, for everytime I thought we could get somewhere I held back and so did she. Which was of course very wise of her.

  22. Instantly I?EUR(TM)m taken back to that small alley. The same words he threw at me?EUR? He was right back then but now I know he?EUR(TM)s not. She?EUR(TM)s even admitted it herself that she broke the bonds that kept her and I amiable to each other. I consider writing Kawaji-san and Toshio-san about relieving Hajime of his duties but I think about the little girl?EUR? If she really is his, then I would be denying them both a chance?EUR? My heart breaks though everytime I see him like this, so different from the person he was in Kyoto.
    ?EURoeGomenasai.?EUR? I stand up to prepare breakfast but he tugs at my hand.

  23. ?EURoeSuma?EUR? I didn?EUR(TM)t mean for it to come out that way.?EUR? I shake my head and hold on a little longer. I try to find something else to say but there?EUR(TM)s nothing else, my mind was just blank. Pretty much the same feeling I?EUR(TM)ve had the past few years.

  24. ?EURoeI know Hajime. No need to apologize?EUR??EUR? I smile, ?EURoeJust remember what I told you. You did -well-.?EUR? I hope he takes it in it’s entirety. I know his job has not gone well the past few years and with what I’ve learned about his loss, then perhaps that even adds more weight to his predicament.
    I know the man in front of me does not fish for appreciation, but I -do- know how much he values them from the right people. I can only hope I?EUR(TM)m one of them whom he will listen to.
    Leaving him I prepare for the day. I wish I didn?EUR(TM)t have to leave today?EUR? He hates being alone. He hates it because with it comes silence and his past, but I know he won?EUR(TM)t break this time because for all those times he?EUR(TM)s come through for me. I know he will remember them at least for today. I should find something for him to do, to make him useful and keep his mind off his troubles.
    (OOC: Ends thread ?EUR“ Hajime and Saya have breakfast and Saya leaves for work. Hajime will catch up on sleep for half of the day.)

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