June 8, 1885 – Monday – Visiting Tokio

?EURoeMou! I am starving! Hajime-han?EUR? Lets go to your favorite soba stand!?EUR?
Saya clings to me like her usual self and I do all I can not to get angry at her display of what can only be called horrid obsessive affection. I could of course brush her arm to the side but doing that would waste my time and effort as she is like a mushroom?EUR? No no?EUR? An octopus whose tentacles suck at it?EUR(TM)s victims marrow.
?EURoeNo I have business to attend to today. If you want you can go by yourself.?EUR? I grin and wait for the customary slap but it did not come. It?EUR(TM)s been years after all, things have changed between us. She was no longer the person whom I looked towards for comfort both physically and mentally. Our roles have reversed and I am now her ward in a sense, which ?EUR“should- be the way it works. I am after all older and wiser?EUR? I am after all the man.
?EURoeWhere are we headed to??EUR? She asks as we walk along the pavement.
?EURoeTo Tokio?EUR??EUR? I answer and picked up the pace. I notice her eyes widen and the grip on my arm loosen their hold. ?EURoeYou always wanted to see her right? For various reasons of course.?EUR? I smirk. Whether she admitted it or not, nor whether she showed it or not?EUR? A woman is a woman, they let their feelings and imagination run rampant?EUR? I knew what we were to each other and to fall for someone you slept with was easier for a woman. To myself I guess, it was a time of weakness, to lose an anchor, that was who Tokio was for myself. And that was my mistake because to love and worship someone because you needed them for your own good, then that means that you never did truly love them. For what if they were no longer what you needed? And I realized that as soon as Tokio stopped being an anchor for myself, I stopped needing her and loving her as well. That was my mistake. She is after all just a woman and cannot cater to a man like myself, she has needs as well.
?EURoeYou are entirely too quiet Hajime-han.?EUR?
?EURoeWhen will you stop calling me that??EUR? I ask with a frown as we turn the corner, the university comes into view.
?EURoeBaka! You know I?EUR(TM)ll never stop!?EUR? She laughs and I grin back. How we have turned from a business relationship, to lovers, to friends?EUR? It?EUR(TM)s hard to see all the transitions. I am just glad that when I told her the truth, she agreed to settle and step back. I cannot lie to myself?EUR? I could not love her in the way she would?EUR(TM)ve wanted?EUR? and I?EUR? Furrowing my brows I stop suddenly in the middle of the street. Was that the only reason? I shake my head, if that was the only reason then I made a mistake again. I finally pry her fingers off me as we entered the gates. I speak to the guard and he lets us in.
?EURoeStay here sir, I?EUR(TM)ll get Takagi-san.?EUR? He bows curtly and leaves.
Nodding my head, I leaned by the concrete wall. Instinctively reaching for one of my cigarettes and lighting up.
?EURoeSou ka?EUR? She changed her name back as well? Did she do it when you moved out of the house??EUR?
I shrugged and puffed on my cigarette. ?EURoeDo be quiet Saya. Here she comes.?EUR? I make no motion to move from my spot nor do I put out the cigarette. Maybe it?EUR(TM)s out of spite?EUR? I know Tokio hates it when I smoke, but maybe if we did speak more back then?EUR? I wouldn?EUR(TM)t need the tobacco after all.
?EURoeMou.. Hajime-han?EUR? You used to be so open with me.?EUR? She frowns and moves away. It was true?EUR? All my complaints I not only ranted to her about but consulted upon as well and after that?EUR? I shake the thoughts from my head and ready myself to threaten my wife. I ?EUR“am- a horrible man but in these circumstances, it does have it?EUR(TM)s good points.