April 7, 1885 – Tokyo Precinct

I get back to Tokyo early in the morning and went straight to the Precinct. It’s not the same as back then when I’d be working for hours on end, but here in my office at least there’s some form of familiarity. I close the door behind me with my right hand. Noting how noticeably weak the whole arm is and that the door shutting itself was due largely to the flick of my wrist.
Locking it, I go to my desk and look over the daily routine of government bureaucracy. Too many papers to sign, too much red tape in the judicial system but at least it is now a little bit more transparent, unlike that time they put Kondou to trial. Wrongfully accusing the Kyokuchou of murdering Sakamoto Ryoma, and letting those of the Mimawarigumi live the good life, until one of them got greedy and plotted against each other…
Those morons, did they actually think the Meiji would give them a position in government after they rattled on their own comrades?
I sigh slightly, the system albeit slow does work. It is inefficient but somehow gets the job done. This thing that the Meiji had started in all facets of government, I wonder how long it will last? Definitely a trade-off from the old days, when a few decided who were to live and -services- were provided by shinobis or manslayers as myself.
There was a difference though back then… Unlike the other manslayers, I had killed with open eyes. Kondou and Hijikata always explained who’s blood it is I was spilling and why. Perhaps some would say I was depending too much on the heads of the Shinsengumi but that is not true for there was another head which I gathered information from… To see whether the Shinsengumi leaders were indeed telling the truth, and that was no other than the Daimyo of Aizu himself, Matsudaira Katamori. That is the difference between a hired assassin, a foolish one and my work. The Meiji did the same which is why I had agreed to work -with- them, but aside from which I also wanted free reign on my work with only the occasional push. For the small fry’s all I have to do is sign my name and they’ll be put in jail… For those that are bigger thorns to Japan, I can get everything I need from the country’s information system and can have access to any of the corrupt politicians and businessmen if I wished… And after that with enough evidence, I draw my sword and take their life…
To daydream… Of the old…
I do not have those privileges anymore only because they think that I am now weak. I can no longer go head to head with the likes of Shishio, the four Gods nor of the Battousai… Not that I really need to, they are now inconsequential to Japan in general and to myself. However only a fool would think that this peace will last long, someday someone powerful will rise once again and threaten Japan. What will I do then? Rise up of course! I am not bound by the rules of this government, only by my loyalty to my country.
I light up my first cigarette for the day… Perhaps I should enlist in the military as well, the Reserves. With the Li-Ito convention being signed, there is less need for the military but there I can actually do something, unlike here… And in the army I do not need my right arm. A revolver I can handle quite well with just my left. I have to do something, some sort of purpose to this empty life…
No. Not completely empty, yesterday I saw them. Hide and her child. No… Not just her child but mine as well… And yet I do not know them at all.
The white clouds over my head have now dispersed all over the room. The window is closed making the air quite stuffy but I do not get up to open it. My thoughts are now back to Ito that night. She was so different, had I not known she was in Ito, I probably would’ve passed her without a second thought. The way she was last night… That was my doing… I’ve hurt her too much. Thankfully the child, is how I’ve hoped, a far cry from myself. That should’ve eased her pain through all those years. Tapping the ashes, I take out the box again and replaced both her picture and the note. And although I have not broken my promise to her nor to myself, I realize now how much I’ve hurt her and truly I’ll never forgive myself. I could leave but didn’t I promise Hide that too? Ah yes… The promise that I shall tell her when I do leave and not just leave without a word.
Putting out the ember on the ashtray, I turn to the daily routine of the Keishikan. Filing, signing, classifying, scheduling and the occasional interviews.