Makoto… A Way to Live

A war is like a broken glass. Bits and pieces shattered all over the place and represent only part of the whole. It was the same in Aizu. Men, women and children fought for their land but not knowing completely the reasons why things had come to the way it was. They fought for their husbands, their wives, sons and daughters. Women weilded naginatas, children their tantos and men their spears and katanas. They rallied behind the Daimyo himself knowing only in obscurity why their kin were falling like flies. But they fought and I fought with them.
The land of Aizu is as important to me as the Shinsengumi. That is where I first learned of Mugai Ryu… That is where my father showed me the importance of land, culture and life. It was his good connections that had led me to live a short life of comfort. If it had not been for his past acquaintances, I would’ve never met Katamori himself and find the Shinsengumi once again. I must admit it was troubling to be a spy for the Daimyo, to spy on your own brothers. But it is a necessary evil, an indirect way to help Kondou gain what he truly believed in… Makoto. He never did find out and I can only thank providence for that.
But during the Battle of Aizu, I realized that my attachment to the Shinsengumi was partly because Aizu supported the Shinsengumi. Which is why on that day when I heard he was captured, I made a difficult choice and denied Hijikata’s request. This is what Kondou would’ve wanted I am sure. Aizu was at it’s last stand in the castle, while Hijikata was also fighting in various parts of Aizu and up north. I think he understood. He left most of the men under my supervision and went back under a different name. This is the reason, until the very last moment when Aizu fell and they blew the horns… I still kept fighting. I doubted Hijikata can bring the Kyokuchou back alive… I doubted Hijikata himself would survive but their teachings were ingrained upon my soul and I choose to keep it, whether I care to admit it openly or not.
It was a cold dark day… The men were fatigued… At least those who were left standing. The Daimyo himself has surrendered afraid that the population of Aizu would be annihilated. A wise choice? I do not know. But the important thing was the slaughter stopped. At least in Aizu…
The Fukuchou had amassed a number of men again under the flag of the Shinsengumi and out of loyalty I followed him to Hokkaido. I have done my part for Aizu… Now it is time for my brothers and for Kondou-san.