So Hide… Had enough yet? I suggest you do not drop in when I’m
fooling around.
What the hell were you doing there? And when you wouldn’t even
meet me for coffee… So what the hell was up with that?
I -want- to see you… Bah! forget it! forget it! I have -other-
things to occupy myself with.
Eat something healthy and don’t go crossing those stupid
stepping stone.
-hajime
?
Hajime,
? ? ? Fooling around?? I thought that was for work, and helping Misao-chan
figure out the -true- allegiances of her shinobi.? Ah well.? Perhaps I
was mistaken?
? ? ? If you -want- to see me, then come see me.? Do not make me come
after you again.? I go no further than that chat, maybe I shouldn’t have
given into you or your writer’s talk of stabbings but I could not
resist.? Some things are too tempting and you -know- how to push my
buttons.
? ? ? And wasn’t that a reminder that we aren’t always -nice- around each
other?? We -both- like playing with fire sometimes, ne??
? ? ? Come see me tonight if you -want-, unless you plan to be -otherwise-
occupied by intoxicated shinobi.?
?
? ? ? However, thank you for the new tanto.? I am certain I shall find
-many- uses for it.?
?
-Hide
?
Yes I -do- fool around for -many- reasons that I see no reasons
to explain to -you-. Why should I?? As for Misao I feel sorry for the
girl in more ways than you can imagine. And no I didn’t ask you to come
after me at least not last night! As I remember it you just suddenly
popped up while I was talking to the weasel. Why can’t hold your tongue
when I’m paying attention to someone else? At least -I- never went
and… no whatever!
What kizu does is what she does. You don’t have to listen and
certainly you don’t have to come after me. You are a woman after all, it
should be the other way around. And no I’m staying in that other world
not because I -want- you to come after me! I’m staying there because you
are -fickle-!
?
? ? ? Fickle?? -Fickle-?? -You- accuse -me-… I am anything -but- fickle.
? ? ? You still got to talk to the weasel in the journals.? Feh.? Your
sympathy to her situation is indeed -touching-.?
? ? ? Ah, well -thank you- for reminding me of my place as a woman.? The
one time I take a chance and step away from “safe” …? *shakes head*? I
just wanted to see you.? Baka.?
? ? ? So fine.? STAY.? After all it is -safe- there.? The underdressed
drunk ninja I’m sure will be -easy- for you.?
?
-Hide
?
No perhaps you are not -fickle- when it comes to… Forget it!
But you are indeed fickle on what you intend to do and how you intend to
do it. Perhaps you just want me to go absolutely crazy? That in front of
all those idiots you can parade around? It’s a good thing they -were-
idiots. No! The problem I have with you is when I ask, you do your best
-not- to give it, but when I turn and distract myself you miraculously
appear. So I guess it’s just whenever it’s convenient for you… Oh wait
maybe you’ll also use -that- against me? I’m not available enough for
you? So maybe now you know what I mean.
As for the weasel you and I know that will not go anywhere and
no I’m not stupid enough to just jump into the shinobi world of
aoshi-sama unless I find a real reason to do so or that stupid writer of
his actually has a story behind those drugs that he hung over my head
out of fun.
-kijinmaru
?
? ? ? No, Hajime, I don’t want you to go crazy.? I much prefer you sane.
? ? ? There’s one thing you ask me that I cannot give you… and I don’t
say no for you in that case.? Remember I once visited you in that world?
I came to your journal under my sister’s name?? I want you to know that
even though I’m not there… not to stop you from anything there, but so
that you know that I’m there -for you-, somehow.? I try to support you
in the small ways that I know how to but it’s not good enough anymore,
is it?? You -seemed- to enjoy speaking to me last night.?
? ? ? Now… I’ll just stay away when I’m not wanted.? Feh.
?
-Hide
?
————
?
OOC- “kijinmaru”?
?
?
Then we have -nothing- to talk about. I think it’s pretty clear
now what we -are- to each other. And yes hold that (things not being
enough) against me as well, feel free!
Kijinmaru tell your writer means fierce God’s son, a demon of
the old days.
?
You stop talking -now-?? ? You told me once to keep talking to you even
when you started walking away…?
So tell me, what are we to each other?? ?
Please stop pushing me away.? Stop punishing me for what I can’t be to
you and try to remember what I -am- to you, or at least what you’ve told
me I am to you.? It’s still enough to me, it’s still worth it.? Has
something changed for you??
?
-Hide
?
Yes a -lot- has changed although you will never understand it…
Punishing you? Oh!!! I didn’t know you -felt- that way. Alright
I shall try to stop PUNISHING you.
Stupid woman… Why would I even still write you. Whatever IT
DOES NOT MATTER ANYMORE… DOESN’T MATTER! Have fun whereever you want
to be and whoever you want to be with! Just make sure you take care of
-my- child or you can leave him/her with me and live as you please.
?
? ? ? I understand a lot.? Don’t dismiss me so lightly.? I’m quite aware
of the problems yet I still smile for you so that -someone- does.? Even
when you hurt me you always could make me so happy.? Because I try to
have hope don’t dismiss me as carefree.? Because I want to enjoy what
time we have together don’t think that I don’t think about the problems.
I’m -aware- and in my own way trying to deal.?
? ? ? Doesn’t matter?? I didn’t think you would give up so easily.
? ? ? Who I want to be with has -not- changed.? What I want, what I need,
what I feel has not.? This argument all started because I wanted to be
with you last night.? Such a simple thing, ne?? Yet not.? Again, I tried
not to be -safe-… I learned a lesson.? Heh.
?
-Hide