I wake up early as I needed to get my things together, not having time to do it last night. I don’t need much change in clothes as it’s only a few days at most. I close the bag with the last of my things, just a few shirts and some pants. I didn’t bother to bring a kimono or yukata.
Ai-chan stirs and I go over to her crib.
“Hey. Be good while I’m away?” I reach down and let my thumb graze her chubby cheeks. They don’t stay long like this they said. “How much are you like your mother? Was she just as plump as you Ai-chan?”
I chuckle but after staring up at me, my daughter closes her eyes. “That’s a good baby. Sleep some more.”
With that I turn and get my bag.
Don’t let me sleep when you leave. Let me see you out.
I throw my sleeping wife a glance. She’s -soundly- asleep, probably very tired from taking care of Ai. Should I… wake her up?
Quietly I place down my things and carefully get on the bed and softly kiss her cheek. Her cheek is like Ai’s, soft and smooth.
You idiot. You need to get going.
(OOC: Hide can wake up or not. He’ll be leaving shortly for Aizu.)
I hear the baby stir….
And a quiet voice…
Then a kiss to my cheek. I know those lips. I know the way he touches me… I open my eyes and smile. “Is it that time already?” I ask, sitting up. I’d rather pull him down to me, but I know… this is a trip that needs to be made. We have to think of our future, our children’s future.
I reach over and touch his face, cradling his cheek with my hand.
She wakes. I suppose I wanted her to.
“Is it that time already?
“Yes.” I brush her hair back from her forehead. “You can sleep.”
I grin slightly. “I didn’t want to get in trouble with my wife. If I didn’t wake her up. “
You can sleep
I shake my head. “I told you… I need -this-,” I take his hand, “as much as I need sleep.” After all, I had years to sleep.
I didn’t want to get in trouble with my wife. If I didn’t wake her up.
I grin back at him. “She can be a bit of an ogre… but, she does have a soft spot for her husband.” I lean over to return the earlier favor and kiss his cheek. “After all he’s so good with their beautiful children.”
“I told you… I need -this-,” “as much as I need sleep.”
“I see then let me get my sword and you can cut my left hand off?”
I tilt my head. “After all you do own it.”
“She can be a bit of an ogre… but, she does have a soft spot for her husband.
I get a kiss and I’m glad for it. “That’s quite a demotion from being my Hime-sama.” I look at her seriously, “No wife of mine is an ogre.”
Since I have a few minutes, I sit at the edge of the bed. “Is there anything you want me to bring back? Maybe some nice lacquer boxes, plates or combs?”
I see then let me get my sword and you can cut my left hand off
“If I could only live with a part… one hand, one bang, one eyelash…” I shake my head. “But you see, I put my claim on this -entire- man.” I pick up his hand and kiss the back of it. “So keep it attached.”
That’s quite a demotion from being my Hime-sama. No wife of mine is an ogre.
I meet his eyes, the one he’s passed down to our youngest, and I nod. “A hime-sama for a wife is better for both of us – and you know a princess can be demanding as well.”
He asks me if I want anything – “it would be nice to have some special dishes for Ai-chan’s Okuizome ceremony. I don’t have the right bowls – black on the outside, red on the inside.” A boys would be all red.
I wrap him in my arms and rest my head on his shoulder. “But what I really need… I just need you back.” I don’t know why I feel this trepidation … but when it comes to her… how can I not feel that? She knows how to wound him, after all. I could hope that after this time, what we’ve been through, that he could deflect… I just have to hope that he can endure what she throws at him.
She kisses the back of my hand and I take hers and kiss hers back.
“Ah I’m very grateful to be able to keep my hand.”
“A hime-sama for a wife is better for both of us – and you know a princess can be demanding as well.”
“Yes but lately she’s not asked for much.” Then I remember, “Makoto might be going with Eiji to pick up some ice at my work while I’m away. I asked him to do that two days from now.”
“it would be nice to have some special dishes for Ai-chan’s Okuizome ceremony. I don’t have the right bowls – black on the outside, red on the inside.”
“Alright. I will make sure to bring home some really nice lacquer bowls.” It’s interesting how Hide takes care of such matters and knows so much about keeping a home and the traditions for our children – compared to Tokio. Aside from the one visit in the temple for Tsutomu, Tokio’s not made much fanfare or tradition of my sons growing up. I wonder if Tokio was in Aizu, in the clan where it’s more expected and many were watching, would we have experienced those events? Hide is far from her element, her Kyoto but she brings those traditions with her and makes sure the people in her home experiences those life events.
Suddenly her arms are around me.
“But what I really need… I just need you back.”
“Hmm?” I grin, “What’s this being all clingy all of a sudden.” I kiss her forehead. “There’s no need to worry. I’m not going just because that strange woman told me so. I’m going for our business.”
Ah I’m very grateful to be able to keep my hand
“Well there’s a lot of plans for that hand… after all, your daughter came home yesterday all full of stories of you teaching her how to ride…” I laugh softly. I love that he gives her dreams.
He mentions an errand, and ice. “Yes, that would be good – I’ve had success with the pump, and she’s taken well to the bottle.” Hanako-san thoughtfully remembered to provide some of those as well, but I’ll need more.
He agrees to my request for some lacquerware. After all, for my feelings about Aizu, her father does have ties there, and it’s the home of her brother Tsuyoshi. I bring in my Kyoto traditions for her, her babywear is all of soft Kyoto-style fabric, but, like Makoto, maybe she’ll be a modern Tokyo girl, setting a new path that I could never have dreamed of as a child.
Hmm? What’s this being all clingy all of a sudden.
I don’t answer. I suppose I am clingy… so I just kiss him, softly before burying my nose in the crook of his neck, breathing him in.
here’s no need to worry. I’m not going just because that strange woman told me so. I’m going for our business.
“Remember when we saw each other, after so long? When we only had the time it takes for a cigarette or two, after all those years?” I need to make sure he’s bringing enough. I want him back smelling properly, after all. “I’m -with- you. So when you’re there, working out out future… it’s as if I’m sitting there, right next to you. Loving you, believing in you, trusting you, supporting you.” I lift my head up to look in his eyes. “It’s always there, no matter how far you are – in distance or time.”
“I -know- you know this,” I smile. “My dear husband, my ookami-sama, my Hajime.” I brush his bangs back, and nuzzle his cheek with mine.
“Well there’s a lot of plans for that hand… after all, your daughter came home yesterday all full of stories of you teaching her how to ride…”
“Well riding I am willing to teach her.” The rest? Maybe her mother and as for handling weapons that’s a no go for me.
She doesn’t answer my question and instead kisses me. I indulge in the kiss. There are times when I feel like we’ve not had our time and so I cherish these moments. Still, I know the kiss was a way to avoid answering me. But I won’t force the issue for today.
“Remember when we saw each other, after so long? When we only had the time it takes for a cigarette or two, after all those years?” “I’m -with- you. So when you’re there, working out out future… it’s as if I’m sitting there, right next to you. Loving you, believing in you, trusting you, supporting you.”
“I -know- you know this,”
“Of course.” I look at her for a moment. She really wants this to be worked out doesn’t she? Of course. She needs this. We need this. But what if… -No.-
I spend a moment with her being close. I want to ask her a question but I guess I couldn’t. Softly I move her away slightly. I grin, “If I keep cuddling with you. I’ll never be able to leave!”
I stand up abruptly and get my bag. “I’ll see you in a few days. Take care of yourself and the children.”
(OOC: Saitou is leaving. you may close)
I take this moment. I could stay like this… I could always be like this, but there’s a little sound in the cradle that reminds me why we live in this world, why we’re moving forward. Why it can’t be -just- us, but, we are still the center. We need this.
And he kisses me back and I know… he knows that I didn’t want to talk about why I’m clingy. My worries are enough for me to carry. And what he’s doing… we need this. He needs to live an honorable life with me. Our children need a name. And I want to be bound to this man, for all time, in the last way that we aren’t.
If I keep cuddling with you. I’ll never be able to leave!
I grin back. We don’t have to force this, this lightness. It can exist, pure and true, despite the worries.
“And you need to go do this,” I say, softly.
“Take care of yourself…” I go to the cabinet and unlatch one door, and take out a few packs of cigarettes. I embrace him one more time. “Remember… I love you.”
He leaves… and I go and pick up Ai-chan. “He’ll be back soon,” I tell her. “Soon – he loves his girls, you know.” But our baby is more concerned with breakfast…
(OOC – close)