I thank the messenger and go inside. I leave the letter unopened on the table for Hide to see. It’s a response from “Himura”, so likely the Tanuki. I promised her I’d let her handle that right?
So this Wednesday afternoon, I sit in the tatami room – not to enjoy myself but to study up on some new regulations in the Meiji government and most especially the much hotly debated “Meiji Constitution”. It’s in reading these papers that I realize that I have been left behind with the times, the past 6 years were a blur that national interest fell to the back side as I only practiced my justice in such small scale – the weeding out of corrupt business men and at times sanctioned politicians. But as I read through it all, the corruption in Hokkaido, the continuous uprising of famers and former samurai… I find myself nodding at the idea of national unity, rather than tolerance of diversity and open dissent. A nation that just went through a civil war and in danger of being conquered like other Asian countries – must present itself as a unified country… A nation state… Is what he called it? Okubo thought it should be ran by the people… But today it is run by the Genro and a few Oligarchs. I once told him that’s a lofty ideal.
I realize I’ve been reading for such a long time that my cigarette as burned out. So I light another one.
A unified country starts in the home doesn’t it? Confucius said so… But even today, even that is a challenge. Taking my cigarette I take a puff and look up.
Well maybe a new child will change all of that? I’ve been staying here at the house in anticipation of this child. One that I truly want to see.
(OOC: Saitou is “studying” in the tatami room. Anyone can come by and converse with him. Note Tsutomu is likely going to drop in the middle of the thread by since this is likely a thread about study.)
(Makoto)
I knock, and then go in. “Chichiue, we made you a snack!” I carry my tray -carefully-. Coffee and soba. Soba is for dinner but hahaue said that she was “delayed” in getting it for him so she’s made it now. Nobody likes zaru soba like chichiue! She said something about a birthday, but that’s silly, it’s forever until chichiue’s birthday and MINE comes first before his!
I look at the table. There’s all sorts of paper. “What’s that, chichiue?”
Hahaue comes in and kisses him on top of his head, and she just smiles at him and it’s nice! And then she notices an envelope on the table, and opens it up.
(OOC – will need text or context of letter. Will reply tomorrow night)
Hajime:
I look with that light knock. “Come in Makoto.”
She comes with a tray which she carries very carefully and I think to myself, that’s good. How many fights has there been due to a spilled water or soba sauce? Too many… I watch as she sets it down on the low table.
“Oh that looks good.” I smile at my daughter. “I love soba!”
“What’s that, chichiue?”
“Oh this?” I hold up the papers for her to see, “One day it will be the future of Japan, the Meiji constitution.” I tell her, of course the language is dense and full of kanji. “If you’re good in learning your kanji, by the time you graduate school – you’ll be able to read most of it.”
Then Hide comes and kisses me on my forehead. Am I some kid now? Ah… it’s because of the child. She watches me and I watch back. Of course we can’t do that too long can we? So as she goes to the letter, I go back to arranging the books and papers on the desk and put them to the corner.
“Itidakimasu!” I say and take a mouthful of soba with sauce! Then drown it with coffee.
“You know Makoto? Where I used to live, we could not grow rice and so we had soba all the time.” I look down on it, “But this soba is perfectly long and smooth.” I hold it up for her to see, “Goes down on the throat easy… But in Gonohe village, the women would pound the buckwheat and it would be coarse, so it is cut to these fine strands but since we sold those noodles for a living we could not eat them, but there would be leftover corners and sides so the women formed triangles and I’d dip it into a negi-miso paste- not tsuyu as soy was very expensive back then.”
I smile a little. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone why I liked soba. It was a source of our livelihood back then but of course I much prefer Hide’s tsuyu blend today, though Yaso’s negi-miso – that took a bit for me to get used to, I even complained(!) but eventually I became fond of it.
(OOC: Content of Kaoru’s letter is that she spoke to Kenshin and asked about the item. Kenshin at first said he didn’t remember but she kept badgering him and eventually he remembered and gave her the tanto. Kaoru says she’s very surprised that, that’s what left behind. She will come Saturday afternoon – after lunch. She’ll bring snacks (!) – heh… OOC2: by the way she wrote the letter to Hide it seems like Kenshin didn’t tell her much and pretending to be his absent minded self.)
(Makoto)
One day it will be the future of Japan, the Meiji constitution. If you’re good in learning your kanji, by the time you graduate school – you’ll be able to read most of it.
“Con-sti-tution,” I sound out.
I look at the paper and it looks -hard-. I can only read a couple on the whole page! I have a -lot- to learn. “At school they said it was a lot of rules about how to do things. Is that true, chichiue?” Then our teacher said that it was too “complicated” for girls to learn about! I bet chichiue will tell me!
(Hide)
Hajime gives me such a -look- after I kiss his head that I can’t resist… I have to kneel slightly since I can’t bend anymore, but I go for a proper kiss. I hear Makoto giggling and I wave my hand at her, which threatens my balance…
I end up having to brace myself on Hajime’s shoulders but I don’t fall, even if my rescue is a bit inelegant, and I decide to give up for it and sit next to him. I smile for a moment at this man…
And then he tells Makoto about his history with soba. I know we had it some in Mibu, but it was most certainly of a Kansai style, and rare, as we usually relied on rice. There was something of a fashion for it, since it was popular in Edo, and they all asked for it.
Of course, it was someone else, years later, who caused me to try to perfect it – which I keep trying to do. “Makoto’s been learning how to roll out the dough,” I tell him.
“Negi-miso would be nice, chichiue. It won’t slide off like tsuyu does! Hahaue said that I don’t slurp fast enough!”
I open the letter and read over it. “Ah, so they’ll come to visit Saturday afternoon,” I tell Hajime, “and that she’ll bring the item I’m looking for,” I say, reading. “Oh, and she’ll bring snacks.” Makoto reacts with a bit of a -face- at that. “Hmmm… she seems surprised that it was left behind.” I wonder what she knew – and how she could miss the noise that man was making. But perhaps Kenji-kun’s room was further away, and if he was ill… well, that does have a way of closing off the outside world, when you’re fretting over a sick child.
Hajime:
“At school they said it was a lot of rules about how to do things. Is that true, chichiue?”
“There is a lot of rules.” I look at it, I’m still skeptical of everything but… “Maybe it will be better with rules Makoto-chan and people won’t have to guess as to what’s wrong or right.” Of course that will make my job a lot harder – and really who is to judge?
And Hide after our kiss, comes back for another which -surprises- me. She almost falls and holds on to my shoulder for balance and by reflex I hold out my arms, but she doesn’t -thankfully- fall into them. “Really Hide…” I shake my head and grin, “I just gave you a look you know?”
And I enjoy my soba as my daughter tells me Negi-miso would be better. “You can try it but you should also try to slurp tsuyu properly.” I glance at Hide, “I really like the tsuyu she makes.” Although of course I wonder if she can make a proper negi-miso, but I will always associate that with Yaso instead. I finish the soba with a loud slurp, showing Makoto how it’s done.
“Ah, so they’ll come to visit Saturday afternoon,” I tell Hajime, “and that she’ll bring the item I’m looking for,” I say, reading. “Oh, and she’ll bring snacks. “Hmmm… she seems surprised that it was left behind.”
“Who’s coming this Saturday?” My son Tsutomu comes in. I knew he’s been standing behind the shoji door for a bit debating whether to come in. “And what was left behind?”
I almost expect him to cross his arms and lean by the door but he doesn’t. Instead he goes straight for the sofa.
“I guess there’s a lot of people in the study room.” He says as he sits down. Is it to get rid of us?
“Glad for you to join us Tomu.” I give him a small smile. Since I’ve been taking some days off in anticipation of the child’s arrival – I also took some time to visit Takimi-sensei.
(Makoto)
Maybe it will be better with rules Makoto-chan and people won’t have to guess as to what’s wrong or right
I nod. “Will you explain it to me again, when I’m older?” Just because I’m a girl I’m not stupid! Besides, I’m going to go be in the police like chichiue and Auntie Saya so I’ll need to understand it all!!
Then they start kissing EW! And then hahaue almost falls down but she’s laughing about it. She should be careful! But it’s okay, chichiue is there to help her. But what if the baby had fallen out? I’m not sure how it works but my friends at school told me -where- it comes out. EW!
“I’m going to have to practice my soba,” I say. I don’t know if I can ever do it that well. And he eats fast!
(Hide)
Really Hide…” I just gave you a look you know?
I only grin in reply, there -are- little ears in the room, but I reach for his free hand and give it a -squeeze-.
Who’s coming this Saturday? And what was left behind?
I look up at Tsutomu-kun’s entry. “Makoto-chan’s school friend, Kenji-kun, and her mother. She’s the one who’s a kendo instructor – they’ve been here once before.”
I guess there’s a lot of people in the study room
I nod. “Well your father was studying as well, and Makoto-chan brought him a snack.”
She pops up. “Tsutomu-niisan! We have something special for you!” She’s back, quickly, with a plate that has a slice of castella cake on it. Yukiko-san had been speaking wistfully of it, so I ordered on. “Here – ta-da!” she says, with a flourish.
“Finish that up, Tsutomu-kun, and we can look at what you have for homework today.” It’s not going any better, and the days where he tries to get rid of me with smiles alternate with the ones where he doesn’t say much, but I’m committed to helping him.
Hajime:
“Will you explain it to me again, when I’m older?”
I chuckle. “Perhaps, once it’s finalized. Nothing here is certain yet.” I think, “Once it is though, I’m sure they’ll start teaching it in school.”
Makoto tells me about practicing soba but I shake my head, “If you don’t like soba you don’t have to practice. Besides one doesn’t have to practice eating.”
Hide tells Tsutomu who the visitors will be but doesn’t answer his second question. I see my son give her a knowing look but he doesn’t push. That’s good.
“Tsutomu-niisan! We have something special for you!”
I watch as Makoto comes back into the room. I smile, “Oh that looks special. I’m jealous.” I pretend to reach over but Tomu blocks me with his arm.
With a very serious look on his face, he adds “Makoto said it’s for me “Chichi-ue”.”
Ah… He’s being possessive of the dessert. Well Makoto did say it’s for him. I sit back down.
“Finish that up, Tsutomu-kun, and we can look at what you have for homework today.”
So it’s time. “Makoto-chan, how about you take some of the cake and bring it upstairs to Yukiko? I’m sure she’ll want to have your company, so make sure to bring enough for the both of you.”
My daughter almost squeals and scampers away. It seems she does get along with Yuki but sometimes I do wonder when or if the quiet demeanor of my niece or rather the Yamaguchi’s will ever rub off on her.
After Tomu finishes his cake I cough, “By the way, the other day I stopped by Takimi and spoke to him.” I look at Hide, “He told me that Tsutomu is doing well with almost all subjects, with the exception of Japanese history.”
Then I look at my son, “It seems like the two of you are doing a good job.”
(Hide)
Perhaps, once it’s finalized. Nothing here is certain yet. Once it is though, I’m sure they’ll start teaching it in school.
“Good! It’s going to be important that I understand all the laws!” she says, and I give Hajime a look – what is she thinking of now?
If you don’t like soba you don’t have to practice. Besides one doesn’t have to practice eating
“Oh yes I do, so I can SLURP it and not get tsuyu all over everywhere!” she giggles. “But I like it!”
Hajime teases Tsutomu-kun a bit over the dessert, which makes me smile. Makoto is then sent away to share some cake with Yukiko-san (who I know has already had at least two slices, but I’m certain will eat more…).
It seems like the two of you are doing a good job.
I look over at Tsutomu-kun. “He’s been working -very- hard, so it’s wonderful to hear that it’s being reflected in his grades,” I tell Hajime. “He deserves all of the credit – sometimes I’m just studying along with him.” I may never meet the intellectual heights of Tokio, but perhaps I won’t embarrass -all- of my children.
“Yuunosuke did say that Japanese history is a challenging topic for most of his students – they’re fine with the very old stuff, and the Warring States era, but anything more recent? Most everyone has already heard a version of it from family who lived through it.”
“Good! It’s going to be important that I understand all the laws!”
“Hmm…” I look at my daughter. Of course I’m skeptical of all of these laws and policies, even the one I’m working on with Kawaji makes me roll my eyes. What more such an important thing as this? “I suppose you can. It’s better to know them at least, to see if they make sense and if not, see if they can be amended.”
Hide gives me a look and I shrug. She’s six… Now as for Hide, now that learning needs to get going sooner rather than later.
As my daughter leaves, it gives us some space to talk about her brother. Hide compliments him and says he deserved all of the credit. But knowing that son of mine, he’s likely thinking she’s only buttering him up.
“Well he can’t get all the credit. You spent time whether that’s watching or actually tutoring him.” I say, hoping to deflect a little bit of what he may think. She may say it sincerely, but it is not the truth and with that my son will think she is wholly insincere.
“Yuunosuke did say that Japanese history is a challenging topic for most of his students – they’re fine with the very old stuff, and the Warring States era, but anything more recent? Most everyone has already heard a version of it from family who lived through it.”
I nod at this and see that Tomu had brought his book. It seems that he intended to study. Taking the book from him, he gives me a look and I flip through it – directly to the more recent “history”. It’s of course as I expected full of Satsuma, Choshu and Imperial history – and as for the losers of the war like Aizu and Sendai the parts that did make it to the text all but villainizes the clans. Even Hokkaido was painted as an invasion of the Northern Island and suppression of the locals.
Placing the book down, I think for a minute. Perhaps Hide didn’t feel qualified to say much about this? Or is it her lack of education that made it difficult to comprehend the text? Or perhaps she just wasn’t inclined to, with Tomu? I light a new cigarette and start smoking – almost forgetting the two in the room.
“A long time ago a man once told me, “Saitou your swordsmanship is perfect but you can hardly write your name.” I ash the cigarette into the ashtray, “I always wondered why if I was one of the best that I was only the Captain of the 4th troop. The only person who -maybe- able to beat me in a sword fight was Souji, the 1st troop Captain. I suppose the Kyokuchou thought that as a reason. But I didn’t think it was a good reason. In that day and age, everone lived and died by the sword…”
I inhale more of the smoke, “Then he told me, the times are changing that not only the sword the soul of the samurai is needed, but the world from now on has become one that one cannot keep being a child and not learn – otherwise he cannot help.”
Tsutomu suddenly looks at me with a look that seems almost -hopeful-, “Is that the reason why you loved Haha-ue? She was secretary to the Princess, could write well and was very well educated.”
I’m surprised he focused on that instead. I sigh a little and tap my cigarette on the ashtray, “No. It was a factor of me taking her as my wife – love is a completely different matter.”
I watch my son carefully, though I think that question was merely a child asking. I’d like him to look at this from the point of view of a man… So I continue.
“From then on I decided, to lean into things I did not understand or did not -want- to understand.” I pick up the book again, “I know you don’t want to read or know, especially from the point of view of the winners – a lot of it may not be true and some are. But you won’t know that unless you find the -courage- to face what is.”
And that of course goes not only for his difficulties in school but for the child in him that still is looking for the happy family, that should’ve been given to him. But I could not. I give him back the book.
Well he can’t get all the credit. You spent time whether that’s watching or actually tutoring him.
I nod. “It’s time to make me study, as well – I have a lot to learn. And thanks to Yuunosuke, he was able to send some interesting items – some science magazines in English. But I’m afraid that there was little -tutoring- I could offer, beyond math.” His math is called “algebra” and I find it very interesting…
Hajime is quiet as he looks through the history book. I had never been able to get my hands on it… and he tells us of his past, and what Kondou-san said to him. And that makes sense – Hajime and I came of age in a time when the turmoil of the age disrupted the old patterns. Samurai boys were educated in books as much as the sword, for many were destined not to be warriors, in the old peaceful age, but shogunate bureaucrats…
And Tsutomu-kun instead ties it back to his mother, but this time, he speaks of them without his usual anger.
“I know you don’t want to read or know, especially from the point of view of the winners – a lot of it may not be true and some are. But you won’t know that unless you find the -courage- to face what is.
I look over at Hajime at this – it’s a good lesson for his son to learn. But will he listen? I feel for him, even when he’s lashing out at me – underneath it all, he’s still a hurt child, wondering where his family went, and now, made to stay with the woman who had a part in that family ending.
It’s time to make me study, as well – I have a lot to learn.
I nod at this, “Well the one who taught me better writing was Kondou-san but really it was Yamanami-san and a few lessons from Kanryuusai.” I make a face at that. I didn’t like the man but contrary to popular opinion, I did not do him in. “We’ll have to find you someone…” I think I know someone but will they and they are far.
But I’m afraid that there was little -tutoring- I could offer, beyond math.”
“But that’s an essential skill, especially in this new world, with the new denominations in yen and the rise of the merchants.”
Hide doesn’t seem upset that Tsutomu asked about his mother in front of us. But the truth was, what was I going to answer him with? I could not say a lie to spare his feelings. At least, not anymore. But as I tell my son to lean into what’s difficult, Hide gives me a doubtful look.
Ah…
I stand up. “We’ll leave you alone tonight.” I tell Tomu, “The tatami room and sofa-san is yours.”
To Hide I turn and hold out my hand, “How about we leave him alone. I’m sure he still has a lot to do.” And if Hide stayed, he probably won’t have the time he needs to wrestle with himself. But if he fails? Well Hide will tell me that before it happens won’t she? Or Takimi will when he fails.
(OOC: you can lead them out)
How about we leave him alone. I’m sure he still has a lot to do.
I take Hajime’s hand, and go over to Tsutomu-kun first. “What is it you always tell Makoto-chan? To persevere?” I lean down to kiss the top of his head. Even if he pushes it away, I’ll keep offering…
I join Hajime and leave the room with him. “You’re very good with him,” I tell him, softly. “Keep challenging him, he’s a strong boy.” I put my other hand on my stomach. This child is lucky to have such a good father. At least they seem to enjoy listening to him…
How much longer until we see your face?
(OOC – end)