I wake up early as usual, the sky has an orange hue as I stood by the door. I can hear someone already up and about, that must be Takikawa working on the nursery up front. Taking a moment to clean myself by the well, I throw on a fresh black shirt and head out to meet him.
“Good morning.” I bow slightly.
He nods slightly. “Had a good night Yamaguchi-kun?”
“I -did- come back here after dinner.”
“Yes I noticed the light.”
I grin slightly, to show the old man I am no one suspicious. One would think since Hide’s already told him I’m a relative, he’d be more agreeable in the morning. I myself am feeling quite well rested both in body and in mind, so I dismiss the old man’s moods.
“I was hoping to borrow an axe.”
“Ah…” He nods and leaves, returning shortly with my request, “You can leave it by that corner when you are done.” He motions to the side of the house where there is a clearing and a shed. The shed must be where he keeps his tools.”
“Thanks Oji-san. I’ll return it after lunch.”
I leave through the back, quite in a hurry. So much for morning chatter. I go where Makoto had lead me yesterday, deciding to enter a deeper part of the forest where a good dry wood can be found. Whacking at a few sturdy branches my thoughts drift.
Unlike Isamu-kun, I would place Takikawa to be older than myself. That’s a relief, I don’t have to be reminded that time passes and thankfully my hair does not show signs of grey. It’s not so much as I am fussy at signs of age, however, I do not want to feel weak. I am not weak… NOT WEAK. Stretching out my arms, I flex the muscles as I brought the blade down and it ended with a resonating CRACK. Not bad for a half invalid. Ah yes… I can feel my eyes burn in anger as the thoughts with Kawaji from a year ago presents themselves once again.
This will be a good change in pace for you Lt. Fujita.
That fool… I don’t need a change in pace. Raising the axe higher I slam it towards a new branch splintering it to little pieces. Over and over again… Until I finally got a pile of irregular sized wood, not as good as when I used to do them evenly back in Aomori. Half panting, I look up, the sun is now high up. How long have I been tarrying here. Grabbing enough pile of wood under my arm, I head over to Hide’s.
(OOC – You may reply here. Assume Saitou is knocking on the gates)
April 19, 1885 Sunday
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Makoto-chan is up before me this morning, and we get dressed and I start cooking.
I hear a knocking at the gate. “That should be your uncle,” I tell Makoto. “Let’s go let him in.”
Strange, as he has a habit of letting himself in, just as he always did back in Tokyo.
Walking out, with Makoto-chan following behind, I open the gate for him. “Good morning.” I notice the pile of wood under his arm. “Oh, than you so much for that…” I smile. That will be most helpful. I managed a lot of things on my own… but not chopping wood. “Have you had breakfast yet?”
“Good morning to both of you.” I look once at Hide and manage a slight smirk before turning to Makoto. “I hope you slept well.”
“Have you had breakfast yet?”
“Ah… No.” I step inside, “Tell me first where I can put this and if you can get me a shirt.”
Kami, I didn’t realize that I had started to sweat so profusely earlier.
I meet his smirk with a slight grin. “Ah, I slept well -enough-. And you? Did you find your room agreeable?”
I look down to our daughter… “Makoto-chan, show him where we keep the wood, alright?” Shirt… shirt… do I have one of his shirts still? I will have to look… I should. It’s not that warm yet but I imagine chopping wood to be strenous, he’s sweating quite a bit. “I can hold breakfast if you want to take a bath first,” I offer, as I go head into the house.
“Good morning!” I answer back.
Okaasan tells me to show him where we keep the wood. “This way…” I lead him back around the house to the area between the kitchen and bathhouse. I show him the little shed where we keep wood and Okaasan has her gardening tools. “Right there.”
“You slept well -enough-?” I quirk my eyebrow in puzzlement, “I slept well.” Probably one of the best nights I’ve had in a few years. If only the activity from earlier hadn’t got me thinking and why I am sweating is still a mystery since it is not hot at all.
“No I shall not take a bath, perhaps a small towel. I will clean up by the well at the back.”
I leave with Makoto and we stop by the shed. I open it rather forcefully and deposited the wood there.
“Run along Makoto. Tell Hid… your mother that I shall wait for her at the back.”
I nudge her slightly and start to search my pockets for tobacco.
Upstairs, I set out a towel and go to look for a shirt. I’m certain he left at least one at my house long ago, and I would of course have kept it.
In the closet, behind our clothes are boxes. Neatly compartmentalized, memories of the past. One has clothes and other momentos from Makoto’s babyhood that I can’t bear to part with. The others… hold things from the house in Tokyo, more personal than the household ones that I had gone through this week. A peach kimono. Letters and pictures… A small box that plays a familliar little tune.
I lift the lid, listening. I would listen to it these past few years when I felt worst… it didn’t help. But now… I remember wearing that uncomfortable dress and standing under the sakura tree…
I hear Makoto-chan before I see her, breaking me out of my spell. I turn, closing the lid down. “Ah, there’s the towel your uncle suggested. Tell him that I will be down in a moment with a shirt.
She runs out of the room and I go back to going through this box.
I come back downstairs and out to the well where Yamaguchi-san is waiting and smoking.
He does that a lot.
“Here you go.” I hold out the towel. “Okaasan is still looking for the shirt.” Why would Okaasan have a shirt that my uncle could wear? “But she was just sitting there listening to a box.” I’ve heard it before, when she thinks I’m sleeping.
“Thanks.” I take the towel and watch as Makoto reports to myself.
“Okaasan is still looking for the shirt.” “But she was just sitting there listening to a box.”
A box? I try to remember what it is. There was a lacquer music box I bought her years ago, although it might be to pretentious to even think she still has it. Well perhaps… No I’d rather not assume that. It could’ve easily been lost while she was moving, or maybe she left it for other reasons.
“Well she does like to take her time Makoto. Perhaps she does not have a shirt, if not then I’d take a yukata.”
I don’t want to walk around in her house shirtless. Which reminds me I don’t want Makoto here either while I clean myself.
“I need some privacy Makoto can you please go inside and wait for me there. But do tell your mother to come out with a shirt or yukata when you see her.”
Puffing on my cigarette I move away from her and go to the well. I glance back to make sure she’s gone inside.
I meet Makoto-chan as I go down the stairs.
“He’s out washing.” She looks up at me, and then at the shirt, looking a little puzzled. “Oh, you had one.” We walk downstairs together. “Will you let me see that box sometimes? The one with music?”
I nod. “Yes, but later. I need to get this out to your uncle so he can change and we can have breakfast.” I do keep a lot of my little treasures put away… probably to save myself from Makoto’s questions. And now that she’s starting to read… I must be more vigilent. She has a way of finding things.
“Would you get the plates and everything out so we’ll be ready to eat?” I ask her. She nods, going off to the kitchen, as I go outside to where Hajime is by the well.
I frown as I catch a glimpse of my “fresh” shirt now tossed and crumpled to the side of the well. I take a couple of buckets of water and drown my head and neck in it trying not to get my black pants wet. Cool water feels so much better as it ran from my hair down to neck and shoulders. Taking the small towel I scrub myself, mostly just to get some dust off. By the time I’m almost done I see Hide emerge from the kitchen door. Splashing a few more, I finally finish and straightened out.
“If you’ll just hand that to me.” I ask her, not meeting her eyes but I do stretch my right hand for the shirt. Perhaps she’ll be embarassed… I know I am, with all the stupid stitches, it’s quite unlike the time when I got shot in Kyoto that was just a stupid scratch.
He looks away and reaches for the shirt I hold in my hand.
My eyes go to what was… obviously something terrible… for a moment I can’t tear my gaze away from it. He still looks wonderful but those stitches and scars… something has happened to him in our time apart.
Draping the clean black shirt on the side of the well, I step closer, trying to meet his eyes. “Oh, Hajime, what… what happened?” I ask, my hand raising to his chest, my fingers tracing along one of the lines. This appears much more serious than that gunshot wound I once attended to.
She doesn’t back away. I had thought she would. Instead she’s touching me and as she does so, I grit my teeth. I had wanted her to touch me, but not there and not where her gaze is fixated to now. I brush her hand away slowly.
“It’s nothing. They’re just stitches when I had myself fixed. Can’t help it on the -job-.” I force a good great grin. “They look nastier than they really are.”
With that I hurry up and dressed in the shirt. Seeing that Makoto has been a good girl, I grab Hide’s hand and pull her to go back to the kitchen. Letting her go precisely once we came to the door.
“What’s for breakfast?” I ask no one in particular.
He brushes me off… that answer… and drags me back inside.
After last night… we made -progress- in getting to be more open again. I know even back then he would dismiss any injury… “We will talk later,” I tell him before turning to finish breakfast.
“Ah, our usual… onigiri, miso.” I answer, going to make coffee and tea, and getting Makoto-chan’s milk. “I got pickles when I was out yesterday.” To her credit, Makoto doesn’t make a face over their inclusion like she has at other times as I set down the little dish. Bringing the serving dishes over to the table, I sit down.
Makoto-chan looks over at me. “Not -always- our usual. Sometimes we have eggs or tofu, too.” She eyes the pickles warily as she takes an onigiri.
“Hmmm pickles…” I reach over the little dish and flick one into my mouth with a chopstick. There are certain things I like bland and certain things I like strong. Pickles are in the strong category.
“I find it hard to eat onigiri nor any other rice dish without something strong to balance the bland taste.” I take a piece of pickled cucumber and place it Makoto’s plate. “You should always try at least once in your lifetime.”
“Not -always- our usual. Sometimes we have eggs or tofu, too.”
“Does your mother cook fried tofu?” I munch on the onigiri as I ask this, “Fried tofu goes well with rice porridge and with soy sauce and vinegar for condiments.”
It’s then that I remembered… Ah I shall have to ask in a little bit. I must finish this rice ball first.
I poke at the pickle with my chopstick. I glance over to see Okaasan shake her head slightly. Right. Don’t -play-. “I’ll try it.” I offer.
I slowly pick up the pickle, putting in my mouth I slowly chew.
Oh… it’s as bad as it smells. “I still don’t like pickles.” I say, gulping down my milk to get the taste away. Not enough. More miso.
Does your mother cook fried tofu? Fried tofu goes well with rice porridge and with soy sauce and vinegar for condiments.
“Oh yes, fried tofu! And always with rice porridge, right, Okaasan?” I look over to her, she agrees, smiling a little. That’s what she always makes with it. Much better than these pickles. “But that’s not for breakfast,” I tell him.
“I still don’t like pickles.”
I chuckle as she washes her mouth with the milk. “Perhaps you’ve got your mother’s taste. Well the worst is over, you’ll not have to try cucumber pickle anytime soon again. We’ll just try a different variety -next- time.”
“Oh yes, fried tofu! And always with rice porridge, right, Okaasan?” “But that’s not for breakfast,”
“Not for breakfast?” I look over at Hide. Ah yes… I never did tell her it was staple for Yaso and I during breakfast. I grin slowly and shook my head. “Yes… It does taste well in the afternoons.”
Finally finished with the onigiri, I take a glass of water. Now I’m not a glutton but, “Did we have any soba leftover?”
It’s hard not to laugh at Makoto-chan’s faces, but she tried… “There are other ones, he’s right, you’ll have to try those later.” She gives me a -look- for that.
“Yes,” I nod, getting up. “I was going to send you back with some…” At least for the train, I was going to get a bento together. I pull out the container from yesterday, getting the condiments out, and more milk for Makoto, who drank most of her cup after that pickle.
Yes… It does taste well in the afternoons
Like many other things… “as does soba, ne?” I smile at him as I sit back down.
Hide laughs… For the first time, I think since I’ve seen her again. I stay quiet listening, it’s been so long since I heard that.
“Yes,” “I was going to send you back with some…”
Hmmm… It would be good to take some back to my place, instead of eating it all here. I can wait… Yes I’d rather -wait-.
“Ah if you can put a good helping, I’ll take it back to the Machiya in Tokyo.”
“as does soba, ne?”
“It really depends… Who cooked it.” I smile back at her. “There was once this woman who cooked a mean zaru soba for myself and she’d insist that I eat in the garden.”
“Of course.” I do worry that he only lives on soba if he’s out on his own… I take the tray of soba away and go to take down one of the larger, sturdy bento boxes that snaps closed. Oh, why do I store it up here? Probably because I only use the smaller ones to make Makoto-chan’s lunch. One advantage to working in an onsen is that my lunch is provided for me… I instead put the sauce in a smaller container.
There was once this woman who cooked a mean zaru soba for myself and she’d insist that I eat in the garden
“Well, where else for -excellent- soba but in a garden?” I ask, smiling back, pulling over the crate that Makoto-chan uses to stand on when she helps me cook so I can reach the next shelf of the cabinets.
I shake my head as I watch her pull the crate, before finally deciding to go behind her quietly.
I wonder if I still can…
Makoto I’d have no trouble at all doing this… And back then with her. I could just reach up there myself but I have no idea what she’s looking for. Maa… I can try. What’s the worst that could happen except that I place her back down.
My left arm goes around her waist and I support her up with my right hand. She’s heavier, either that or… But I do manage to hoist her up.
“Kami Hide… Find what you need. I didn’t realize how fat you’ve become.” I smirk a wry one. I’m not really sure how long I can keep this up.
Surprised to find him behind me and lifting me up… mindful of that injury I saw, I grab the box I need quickly, and let him lower me back down. He doesn’t hold me as steady as I remember that he once could.
“Thank you…” I turn to grin at Hajime. “Do take this soba with you so I won’t get any fatter.”
I want very, very much to kiss him just about now. But there’s someone who is watching us with a very puzzled look on her face.
Taking the soba, I look at her for a long moment. Ah I am not sure what I am thinking but I watch her gaze that moves from my face to Makoto’s quickly and I realize, what just happened…
“This will taste well. Thank you.” I go and take the container, and stop by Makoto for a moment.
“When you’re done eating Makoto, if you want you can meet me outside.”
Time for another smoke, I decide and head to the engawa. Stopping by the living area and placing the bento on the low table.
He moves away suddenly, and goes outside. By his request, Makoto-chan follows after him.
I did something I shouldn’t… I…
No, I’m not that -fragile-… to get upset so easily. Not right now. But we have to be careful around Makoto. I don’t think she’d go around telling, that’s not the issue… but a man in our lives is something very new, and I don’t know yet what she will think of whatever will happen between Hajime and I.
Instead I set to washing the breakfast dishes.
I follow uncle outside. He’s smoking -again-!
“I was already done eating,” I tell him, looking up at him.
“Ah… It would be good if you pace the engawa to get that food to go down properly.”
I grin and take a long puff.
“Does my smoking bother you?” I ask, it’s been several times now that I’ve seen her stare at my cigarette.
“Pace?” I’ve not heard that before… ” I walk up and down the engawa, not going too far away from Yamaguchi-san. I would rather run but not right now.
“No, your smoking doesn’t bother me.” I tell him, truthfully. The smell isn’t so bad. “I just don’t see people do it much.”
“Pace… Exactly what you are doing…”
I watch as she continues.
“No, your smoking doesn’t bother me.””I just don’t see people do it much.”
“Ah… It’s not new but it’s not something I’d like to see you do.”
Half way through my cigarette I turn to her once again, “How are your legs feeling?”
“Why would I smoke?” I ask him, puzzled.
How are your legs feeling?
“Fine, but I want to run.” I look out across the yard. “This is too slow. I didn’t eat my breakfast too fast, I can run.” I look back over to him with a smile.
“Why would I smoke?”
I shrug. “I don’t know you were staring at it and you can never tell the future.”
“Fine, but I want to run.” “This is too slow. I didn’t eat my breakfast too fast, I can run.”
“I know you can run. Anyone with two feet and in good health can run child.” I chuckle, “I wanted you to pace to stretch your legs first so you won’t get a cramp before I show you a game.”
“A game?” I ask, stopping the pacing to look at him with a smile. Maybe it’s something I don’t already know. “Oh, show me!”
Hmmm… I wonder if she listened earlier about pacing and stretching her legs? Perhaps… She’s a child after all. The mention of a game would easily distract her.
“It’s quite simple really and it changes depending on what part of Japan you are living in.”
I bend down and flicked the cigarette away, before giving her my full attention. I reach for her and pull her slightly closer.
“Look at the yard Makoto, there are a three trees.” I point at a small three to the left, then one at the far end to the right and then oint out the other three slightly towards the middle. “They cast shadows…”
“That area in the shadows are called Night… While everything else without a shadow is called Day.” I stand up and go in the middle of the yard, “I can be “it” and I command Night and Day. If I say Day! You cannot stay in the shadows other wise you’ll be it. If I say Night, you need to get to one of the shadows but not the same shadow as you had stayed before. If you do or if I catch you… You’ll be it.”
I listen carefully as he tells me the rules. I look at the yard carefully. Shadows and light.
I nod, looking up at him with a smile. “Okay, let’s start.” I get ready to go.
“Alright let’s start. Night!” I shout and let Makoto get some head way first. I’ve heard she’s a fast runner but really a full grown man against the legs of the child, that’s a killing if I played seriously. The length of our strides are different and the strength of my legs has changed little, all that practice for the gatotsu before….
My eyes narrow a little as I’m taken back to the distant past. It’s only when Makoto runs past me did I snap out of it and followed her -slowly-.
(OOC – You may describe where Makoto’s run to next)
Night!
And with that I go running, fast as I can, past him. I start to dash towards the right side of the yard and then suddenly veer to the left, towards the shade from the center tree.
He runs fast, a lot faster than Okaasan or Isuzu-chan, but he is very tall. I glance back at him, grinning. This is fun!
That grin… She thinks she’s actually getting the better of this situation. Good…
She finally stopped under the shadow of tree at the middle. I know she’ll be forced to move once I call out. Ha! I glide towards that tree and settle just were the shadow and sunlight met. Towering over her I amuse myself at the -obvious- difference. She can run left or right or around the tree first so that I do not catch her. I shall have to contemplate whether to catch her or not.
For now, I sported a smug grin and tilted my head.
“Not bad, the way you turned earlier was highly impressive.” I chuckle, “Are little girls supposed to be that flexible?”
Not waiting for an answer, I shout, “DAY!”
DAY!
With one last smile, I turn and run back around the tree, to the right.
I keep running though the yard – it’s easier since less of it is shaded. I’m almost back to the fence, near my base…
I look back behind me to Yamaguchi-san…
Where did he go?
Makoto runs around towards the back of the tree and I smirk and run the opposite way across the yard. I lean by the wall towards the house, knowing that she’ll be running here soon because it’s the logical thing to do, less shade, far from where I’ve been and her base is not too far once I shout night. Which I won’t as I watch as she come running -not- looking at where she is going.
“Got you!” I grab her by both armpits and raised her up. “I think you’re going to need to -plan- better if you want to play with me.”
I laugh as I let her sit on my arm and place her face on my shoulder. We enter the house and I can hear Makoto pant slightly. I think we’ve done enough exercise the morning passed by rather quickly. I place her down and head straight to the kitchen door. I left my shirt at the back, I should get that before leaving.
I turn from the window where I was watching Hajime and our daughter run around. Hearing them laugh together… Smiling, I see them come into the kitchen. “Have a good time?” I ask both of them. Makoto-chan nods, a little out of breath but looking happy. “Hai! He’s fast, Okaasan.”
I love watching them together… he is as I always suspected a good father. “That didn’t tire you out, did it?” I ask her. She shakes her head. “No, Okaasan, I’m getting too big for naps.” I move closer and ruffle her bangs, her hair a little messy after all of the running.
“Hai! He’s fast, Okaasan.”
“That’s right.” I chuckle and pause by the door, “But had you not done the obvious, I wouldn’t have caught you.”
With that I head outside and procured my shirt. Stretching it out, I see that it is now dry so I fold it and tucked it under my arm and went back inside.
“Makoto, go comb your hair upstairs.” I tell her. There’s something I need to tell Hide before I leave.
“I won’t be so obvious next time!” I nod to him as he puts me down. I’ll have to look at the yard later and -think-.
With that I go upstairs. Not so much running now… I did a lot earlier!
When Makoto disappeared upstairs, I head over to where Hide is at and took a glass of water. I don’t usually play just for play and it’s been months now since I even practiced seriously with a Katana. There really was no space at the Machiya to practice and out on the courtyard, I don’t want strangers asking me why I have a katana instead of a sabre.
I shake my head lightly, replaced the empty cup to the sink and started smoking.
“Next week… I can’t come here. I… I had promised my son that I will visit them.” I must sound strange I conclude and took another puff, “It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to Tsutomu and I… Need to catch up on how that house is doing.”
[19:59] hajimenokizu: “So as I’ve said…” I look back at her.
[19:59] SafetyGirl0: “Next week?” I move closer to where he is. “Ah… you will come the next then?”
[20:00] hajimenokizu: “Yes of course.” Why she would think I wouldn’t… That’s puzzling.
[20:00] SafetyGirl0: I smile. “Good…” looking up at him. “Then Makoto-chan and I will write you until then.”
[20:01] hajimenokizu: “Hmmm Makoto I can understand the brief letters.” I tilt my head, “You though, seriously needs to lengthen them.”
[20:02] SafetyGirl0: “Then where you get letters is secure? In case I wish to write of things of a -personal- nature?” When I used to send notes to work I was always careful… never sure there who might read them.
[20:03] hajimenokizu: “Yes… The old man and his daughters doesn’t go through my things.” I grin, “I do like the privacy.”
[20:05] SafetyGirl0: I smile. “Ah, good… I shall just have to write you, then, of how very much I had wanted to kiss you when you brought me down after having to lift me to get that bento box for you… among other topics.”
[20:06] hajimenokizu: “Hmmm… You’d rather write about it?” I chuckle and look behind me. No sign of Makoto yet. Turning back to her, “You’re willing to wait another two weeks?”
[20:07] SafetyGirl0: “I can be a very descriptive writer, I believe, given the chance,” I grin. “But two weeks? Patience has always been a -strength- of mine, ne?” I move closer, taking his hand. “But in this case… I think not.”
[20:10] hajimenokizu: “Ah…” With my free hand I trace the nape of her neck with a finger and with the palm I turn her face up. “You’ll just have to oblige those wants of yours.” I bend down slightly for a kiss, not really touching her lips just yet.
[20:12] SafetyGirl0: I lean up to move my lips just a fraction of an inch from his. “I do think that I will…” My other arm goes around his waist to pull him close, closing my eyes as I bring my lips to his.
[20:17] hajimenokizu: So she really did… We really are… I think to myself as I savor her lips, looking for her tongue… Drawing it out. Her eyes are closed but I kept mine open, mainly to watch her face and actually see for myself. My arms go around hers pulling her against me tighter. my hands roaming her back, finding the crook in the middle… This is not good… I should learn to control myself.. I break the kiss slowly and stare back at her for a long moment. “Quite a kiss hime-sama. You’ve done well for yourself.” I grin and grabbed another glass of water.
[20:20] SafetyGirl0: I look back at Hajime, smiling a little. “Yes…” Kisses were once so freely given… this one was just as sweet as I remember them. “Ah, well, then that will be one less thing for me to write about, then.” I sigh dramatically.
[20:22] hajimenokizu: “Well you could always tell me what a great kisser I was.” I chuckle not looking at her and took a gulp of the water. My throat after that somehow got parched. I lean by the counter and lighted up. Watching her intently and sucking on my cigarette. It’s a good thing I’m leaving soon.
[20:26] SafetyGirl0: I look thoughtful. “Hmm. Yes. I could do that… but was? You still are, as you just demonstrated.” I laugh softly, listening to make sure I don’t hear little footsteps on the stairs.
[20:28] hajimenokizu: I shake my head slightly and took another puff, “Do you need anything in Tokyo? or perhaps Makoto…”
[20:31] SafetyGirl0: I think for a moment. The basic things are of course available here, and the trains… Japan seems to shrink everyday. “Oh, nothing I can think of at the moment… but do bring her a little something.” I glance out the window to the bushes that surround her “base”. “Maybe if you see a nice rock when you’re out.” I look back over to him. “I… I would just most like to have you here.” I say, quietly, meeting his eyes.
[20:34] hajimenokizu: “Hmmm… rocks…” I shrug, I’ll just keep my eyes open. “You want me here but…” I laugh, “I’m afraid I can’t be around you too much or I’ll have to kill myself.” I said that with a grin but how utter serious it was I wonder if she even knows. “I’m not as busy at work anymore so perhaps I’ll schedule for a longer weekend next time…”
[20:40] SafetyGirl0: “That wouldn’t be a good solution to being around me…” I say. I look away from him, finally, “I don’t -just- want you back … in -that- regard. We were more than that, that’s…. something I missed so much. It took me some time to where I could, but I always could talk to you. I… liked that last night.” I smile a little. “Some of my best memories with you… are the times when we would just hold each other and -talk-. About everything and nothing… I loved that.”
[20:45] hajimenokizu: She seems offended… “Suma… See that’s another difference between you and I, with regards to you, -nothings- changed with me. But it doesn’t mean I’m right, I’m probably wrong as usual.” Slowly I took a long drag onmy cigarette. “But just because I can’t keep my hands off you, doesn’t mean I don’t value talking to you as well.” I shrug and turned to make myselfsome coffee.
[20:50] SafetyGirl0: I give him a look. “Oh, Hajime… please don’t think you’re alone in the not being able to keep your hands to yourself…” I shake my head. “I was always rather obvious in my desires as well. I still am… with you I cannot be anything -but- honest in that regard. And I said -some- of the best were about talking … some of the others were…” I go behind him, standing on the tips of my toes to whisper in his ear, “because… earlier… seeing you without you shirt… still took my breath away.” I step down and take a step back, smiling.
[20:56] hajimenokizu: “Maa… I must be getting old, I can’t see through people as well as I could before.” Taking a sip of the coffee, I set it down. “I should take it off more often then.” I chuckle, “Seduce you out of that kimono. Or… I could always just -rip- it off you.” Like before a long time ago… Ah I need to stop talking about these things, I frown. Grabing the coffee I sit down at the kitchen table and changed the subject. “How much do you spend sending Makoto to school?”
[21:02] SafetyGirl0: “Yes, you should,” I answer with a small smile, the image of him still in my mind… Not the best thoughts to be thinking… I know this. I sit down next to him, thinking I should have made tea. “It is more than the other schools in town.” I name the amount. “But I did my research… even if her best friend were not going there, it is the best school in Ito, I think even better than the boys school in terms of offering more subjects as they get older.” I want her to have the best… and the extra hours I work now since she’s in school mostly cover it.
[21:05] hajimenokizu: “You must let me shoulder part of it.” I tell her, “I will not rest easy if I do not do something… Or should I just give you a set amount for use in the day to day expenses of this house?”
[21:10] SafetyGirl0: I open my mouth to start to protest… no… I can’t be afraid this time to take the help that he offers. “Whatever you could help with would be appreciated.” I think of hours spent over the household account books, trying to make things work on the money I bring in… and not touch the Yagi money. I’m using a little now, but with Hajime’s help… I won’t have to.
[21:14] hajimenokizu: “Good. Decide on an amount and in what frequency you’d want it, you don’t have to figure it out now… Perhaps when you write me, you an include it there.” She’s always refused me before, I’mglad she is not now. Considering that she’s done alright the past years, it probably won’t make much difference but it’s better than nothing. So many things run through my mind that I’d like to ask. Most of them probably no longer important or inappropriate, so I focus on the coffee.
[21:20] SafetyGirl0: I nod. “Or next time you come down… we can have a very boring talk over my account books…” I smile. As in before… I wouldn’t mind him knowing these things… and now, with our child… he has every right. He turns to his coffee. I suppose… this is a strange topic.
[21:27] hajimenokizu: I try to think of things that I can tell her… about Tokyo and even Kyoto. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt… “The old house in Tokyo, it was bought by a young couple… The like tea, just like you.”
[21:30] SafetyGirl0: “Ah… I hope they are happy there…” I think of that house, the time spent together. “When I go to Tokyo someday… I will want to see that place again.” It’s strange… I don’t think I ever would have wanted to go there again, but now the idea of that house where I was once so happy yet so devistated… the idea of it no longer leaves me upset. “And when we see the garden, we can wink at each other over Makoto’s head.” I smile at him.
[21:58] hajimenokizu: “Yes when you go…” That garden was once so important to us. She firmly believed that Makoto was conceived there. I don’t mind at all. “It’s changed a bit, the owners are young and you know now a days younger women are less interested in gardening.”
[22:01] SafetyGirl0: “What a shame…” I shake my head, smiling. “But it is their house now, and I… have a new garden. Although I do miss that sofa…” I sigh. Aside from our memories there, it was very comfortable, but western funiture… is slow to appear outside of the large cities.
[22:05] hajimenokizu: “Yes that red sofa did have it’s days.” I chuckle and take another sip. For the most Hide’s house is quite traditional. “Maa.. I do have a sofa in my office if you remember. It’s several years old now but it’s barely seen any use.”
[22:09] SafetyGirl0: “Oh yes, I remember…” the two times I took him lunch… “It was quite…” I stop, hearing something. Tilting my head…. I hear the music box, faintly, from upstairs. “I told her not to play with that…” I say. “Do you recognize the tune… I still have that box you gave me.”
[22:13] hajimenokizu: I turn my head to listen… “Yes I remember. I see you’ve kept it…” I wonder what else she kept? That music box that I didn’t know what to do with or who to give it to. “Did you leave it outside? Or is Makoto going through your things?”
[22:16] SafetyGirl0: “I left it out…” I did put everything else up, I -think-, from when I was trying to find a shirt for him. Now that she’s reading I should be more careful with old letters, though. “She doesn’t go through my things… but she’s seen it before and is rather fascinated with it.”
[22:19] hajimenokizu: “Ah i see. There’s been quite a number of advances already in music boxes. They are starting to phase out the cylinder ones.” I get up and place the cup in the sink. “Well if you don’t mind, I’m going upstairs to say goodbye to Makoto.”
[22:22] SafetyGirl0: “Oh, do go ahead.” I smile at him. “She had a lot of fun chasing around earlier, I think…” I stand up with him. “And yes, in two weeks when you return… stay longer if you can. I only work on Fridays until lunchtime.” or earlier, if there’s not so much fuss in getting pay out.
[22:24] hajimenokizu: “Alright, it shouldn’t be a problem.” I chuckle for once glad that I don’t have any real work to do.. “I’ll see you Hide.” I turn to look once at her and proceeded upstairs to catch the culprit playing with her mother’s things.
I snuck downstairs once and they were talking about money. Not very interesting. So I came back here and got out one of my books. We learned a couple of the English letters in school, I go through the book trying to find the ones I know.
Then I saw Okaasan’s music box. I held out for a minute… but I wanted to hear it.
I watch the little mechanism inside go around, and I’m startled to see Yamaguchi-san at the door. I look up at him with wide eyes.
When I get up the room a pair of eyes which looks like it’s just seen a ghost greeted me. I frown slightly and made no sound and instead took the little box from her hands. With it open I can see the little cylinder spin and hit the cooper teeth inside creating the short melody.
“You shouldn’t really touch other people’s things.” I say and close the music box. Hearing it, creates such sad memories for myself. Of how I told her that the Sakura always comes back in spring. Laying it on top of the dresser that is out of Makoto’s reach, I turn to address her.
“I’ll see you two weeks from now.” I try and wipe the frown off my face. Finally able to plaster a grin, I pat her head. “Try not to go through your mother’s things. If you’re good I’ll bring you something ne?”
I look as he takes the box away.
“Two weeks…” Oh. He came this week, and last week. “I won’t go through her things…” But if she leaves them out…
“I’ll write you again, will you write me back?” Somehow getting a letter sounds really nice. I smile up at him. “And bring me something? I’ll be good,” I promise.
“I won’t go through her things…”
I nod at this. She’s my daughter so a word between us should be enough, unless she does this again then she won’t hear another word from me.
“I’ll write you again, will you write me back?”
“Yes I will… But I’ll write you in Nippongo as I want you to understand everything I write. When you get better in English, I’ll start writing you in English.” I smile, “But you may write to me in English for -practice-.”
“And bring me something? I’ll be good,”
“Alright.” I stand around looking at her. I wonder if she’ll… If it’s even okay.
“A hug?”
“I’ll keep writing,” I say. Hmm… I’ll need to ask sensei… I don’t think anyone else in my class will get all of this extra practice in English…
A hug?
I -do- like my uncle… he reads me stories and made me a tenmari and plays chasing games…
And Okaasan smiles more when he’s around… “Hai!” I nod, going over to him and holding out my arms. He’s really tall, after all.
Ah… So it is okay…
I kneel slightly, she’s still quite short after all. Hopefully she won’t take after her mother in -this- respect.
Her arms go around me and I hug her back. I’m reminded of how my youngest son used to do this, he’s grown up now so that only happens in a blue moon. But my little girl, I think I can safely say I can count on a few more of these in the next few years.
“Little Princess… Take care of your mother while I’m gone.” Letting her go, I make my way downstairs.
I see Hajime come back downstairs.
“Ah, you said your goodbyes?” I stand up to go stand by him, surpirsed that she didn’t follow him back down.
“Ah, you said your goodbyes?”
I nod my head slightly and grinned a low one. Without a word I take the bento that’s on the table and the shirt I had left earlier. Going back to her side, I look once to where Makoto could come from. No sign of her.
“Don’t leave your things carelessly out or your daughter will know all your secrets.” I grin slightly. “Take care of yourself.”
“All of my secrets… I will have to be more careful, I wouldn’t want her finding our letters…” I grin up at him, thinking of the ones I’ll send him while we’re apart. I bring my hand up to touch his cheek, “yes, I will take care, as should you.” I look down at the bento… I wish I could send him back with more.
Letters… I wonder which one she kept. We were always so free in our letters back then when we wrote about those things which weren’t entirely sane. Aside from the small box I had that kept her picture and a very few select letters, I had lost track of the others. I never did keep them, there was no place safe to place them but I do remember most of them.
She looks down on the bento. “I hope I don’t get a stomach ache from this.” I shrug lightly and put her hand to her side. At this point I think my eyes will speak more to her than my words so I remained silent one again.
I leave quickly, making a quick stop by the side of the house to get the axe. I’ll make a quick stop by Takikawa-san, leave the soiled shirt and head to the train.
(OOC: Saitou leaves Ito)