The rain from last week has brought summer into full bloom, the hydrangeas bloom blue and pink along the left side of the road as I go back up the hill… a Wednesday morning, seeing my daughter and Isuzu-chan to school. I had a short talk with one of the teachers, who tells me how well Makoto does in school, except that she doesn’t sit still and that while it is commendable that she wishes to learn English so quickly she shouldn’t neglect her studies in our own language.
I will work with her… yet I understand her determination to learn that foreign language, and know it goes beyond the wish to simply learn it because she must.
I think of my day today… my basket is heavy with the results of my market trip, and there’s the usual things to be attended to at my house. And summer yukata to work on… Makoto has grown so much from last year and Isamu-san found fabric perfect for her. I should show her to twirl around when she has something new to wear.
Then, as is often, my thoughts drift to Hajime. In years past I would have shaken my head to try to not think, but now… I let my mind linger for a moment as I walk up the road.
It’s been almost a month… but… I look up a the blue sky and think of what lays beyond it… and I smile.
(OOC – Hide is walking home. She will be back there shortly and for the remainder of the afternoon)
Wednesday, June 3rd, 1885 – Morning
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The money that Tamesaburou provided for me turned out to be quite useful, or rather it -will- be. I smirk as I walk along the main road from the post office. That was my first clue of course, thankfully the postmaster himself does know of Hide and have seen her go East a few times. There is I’m told a hill there and it is close to the sea, so perhaps it won’t be such an inconvenience looking for her place.
It’s rather a quaint little town. Not my type to be honest but it will suite my purposes well so…. I walk up the path and lit a cigarette. Funny, earlier I had expected at least some sort of challenge in finding this “house on a hill”, but unless I’m seeing things.
I pick up my pace and survey the area… No one seems to be home… Scowling I lean by the fence and convince myself staying here is not a waste of time.
I come up the hill to the top where my house is…
And I see him… just as I have hoped this past month… And I know… the first step has been made.
I grip my basket a little tighter, and I remember… how it once felt when he would come to see me, on those afternoons long ago… or the times when the time of day didn’t matter. Just… that he came for me…
With a soft smile, I say simply, “Hello, Hajime.”
I look towards her basket, she’s been to the market I see. I’ve never noticed it before but she seems to like to call me by my first name. Curious… But I push the thought aside, it’s probably a response to how I’m more comfortable calling her as Hide instead of Yagi-san, at least ever since she came to Tokyo.
“Got everything that you wanted?” I ask and nod over to the basket. A little small talk won’t hurt, I’m here after all for -another- favor. Now that I think about it, I never did make up for the countless others she did for me. Maa… I grin, wondering if I should help her but decide not to.
Got everything that you wanted?
“Mostly.” Handing him my basket, I ask, “could you hold this for me? Thank you.” I pull out the keys to the gate from my bag. I always try to remember to lock up carefully… as I learned, not even Ito is -always- safe.
As we walk towards my house, I say, “I’m glad to see you here… I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding my house, as I didn’t leave you with an address when I saw you in Tokyo.” House on a hill, I told him… Ito has many hills, some overlooking the sea. “Do you have time? It is almost lunch…” I offer, “and I got some good salmon today”. Turning to him before I unlock my front door, I tell him, “it is good to see you again.”
Well she seems -agreeable-… Although quite -pushy-.
I look at the basket that is now in my hands. Not that I had agreed to her request… I smirk and took a drag as I entered the gates.
“I’m glad to see you here… I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding my house, as I didn’t leave you with an address when I saw you in Tokyo.”
“It was rather easy since the postmaster did point me to the right direction. You seem to be well known there.”
“Do you have time? It is almost lunch…” “and I got some good salmon today”.
I place the basket down the table and continue to smoke. There was once a time I think that she wouldn’t even -get- me tea eventhough I -was- soaking wet. And now this, a salmon? Quite puzzling but I -am- hungry.
“Sure why not.”
I lead him back to the kitchen. “It’ll be a few minutes.” I tell him as I begin to prepare lunch. The fish I bought was a bit on the large size for just Makoto-chan and I.
I open the windows to let the sea breeze flow in as I begin to chop vegetables. “How have you been?” I ask, as I look back at him over my shoulder… my eyes can’t help but linger on the sight of him in my kitchen again. The blade coming almost a bit too close to my finger reminds me that I should be attentive to lunch.
Interesting… She completely missed my point earlier about the postman. If she had been more attentive then she should know that place is not the first on my list to search but rather just the local Precinct here or the Prefectural records. I chuckle slightly and look back, I notice she’s staring and not paying attention to her work.
“I had assumed your grandmother thought you better… ” I stare back at her, “Or at least Souji told me.”
I invited myself to a seat. Might as well if I’m going to wait.
I had assumed your grandmother thought you better…
I laugh a little as I finish with the vegetable and begin to cook them. “She did… a good cook is attentive.” I check on the fish… yes… it’s doing as it should. I kept it simple. “Ah, Souji spoke of my cooking to you? You should have come to eat with my family more… you were always welcome to, when you had the time.”
He seats himself and I realize that I’m being a bad hostess… I forget… how to treat Hajime as if he’s someone I don’t know -well-. I’ve already called him “Hajime” but he didn’t correct me. “Would you like something while you wait? Tea?” I know he doesn’t care for it, but it is more common to offer it. “Or do you like coffee? I have some of that as well.”
“Ah, Souji spoke of my cooking to you? You should have come to eat with my family more… you were always welcome to, when you had the time.”
“That man had a mouth to match his sword. I could barely get him to shut up when I wanted to.” I make no mention about eating with them more, I was a frequent guest at the Yagi’s but I stayed at the Maekawa’s. I was busy and I think she was too… And why the hell am I even thinking of what could’ve been is simply unacceptable at this point in time.
“Would you like something while you wait? Tea?” “Or do you like coffee? I have some of that as well.”
Coffee goes well with my cigarette and I consider it for a long moment. To be honest, I’d rather have nice warm sake instead. Which reminds me…
“I was in Kyoto for business a few days ago. Tamesaburou-kun invited me for a drink.”
Finishing cooking lunch, I bring the plates over with the salmon, vegetables and rice. I also prepare tea, but tell him, “I don’t remember you being too fond of tea – do let me know if you would prefer something else.”
I was in Kyoto for business a few days ago. Tamesaburou-kun invited me for a drink.
“My brother…” I look back over at him, and wonder… what all is swirling around us. “How… how is he, and my family?” I told him that morning in Tokyo of my estrangement from them, so that shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise. However, that Tamesaburou spoke to Hajime… is a surprise to -me-.
“I don’t remember you being too fond of tea – do let me know if you would prefer something else.”
“Hmmm…” I look over the meal and think of when was the last time someone -did- cook for me. I smirk, I’m making mistakes of course… It is almost lunch time and I just happened to be at the right place in the right time.
“How… how is he, and my family?”
“I would dare to say… Pretty much the same.” I grin, “I didn’t ask of course. I just gathered it from how he spoke. He did seem particularly worried about you.”
I look back at her. If I didn’t need her to do something for me, I’d probably ask her to take her chances and go back to Kyoto where there -is- family. No matter what it is… Blood is -always- thicker than water just like Hiroaki and I found out.
The ash falls on the table and I wipe it off with my gloved hand immediately staining it. I frown. “Got an ash tray laying about?” I pause and thought how -strange- that sounded. “Or a can…”
Pretty much the same. I didn’t ask of course. I just gathered it from how he spoke.
“Good…” I smile and think… Kioko-chan must be nine soon? And Hiroshi-kun… seven? Are there others? I would imagine that they would have had more. And is Yuunosuke finally married?
He did seem particularly worried about you.
I know he must be… “Ah… as I told you, I only contacted him after Makoto was born, and beyond one letter we’ve not communicated directly since then.”
“I miss them,” I admit to him. “We were always close… but in time…” I look down at my plate, and then back to him. “In time… I’ll go back there.” Something in me is pleased, though, that he spoke of me to Hajime – that maybe the money isn’t out of some sense of duty but that they still care. It’s another sign… that things were never as dark as I perhaps once took them to be.
Got an ash tray laying about?
“Oh, I do,” I go to a cabinet where I keep miscellaneous items, it’s the ashtray I got when I took Hajime’s things from the room I rented for him at the Takikawa nursery. I set it on the table and notice the smudge of ashes on his immaculate white gloves. I don’t think I have any of those around and that would be -very- hard to explain. Instead I go and get a wet cloth and dab at the stain, taking his hand.
Then I realize… this is something I would have done then… that’s not quite -proper- now as he knows “me” and I feel the boundaries… “Ah, I know that you like to keep you uniform looking just so…” I smile, suddenly nervous.
“Ah… as I told you, I only contacted him after Makoto was born, and beyond one letter we’ve not communicated directly since then.”
What is she talking about? I?EUR(TM)m pretty sure I was already sober that morning a month ago. Even if it is a month ago?EUR? I?EUR(TM)m not yet senile not to remember what she told me. I watch her carefully as I start to eat, a little suspiciously. Perhaps she is ill?EUR?
“I miss them,” “We were always close… but in time…”
Again, I think this talk of her family makes her ill and for some blasted reason I find myself too ?EURconcerned- when I should not be. I put down the chopsticks, readying myself for some rebuttal to that remark.
In time… I’ll go back there
Slowly, I take a bowl of rice. ?EURoeDo that?EUR? You can?EUR(TM)t really get your future if you don?EUR(TM)t remember where you came from or at least those people who you were with?EUR??EUR? This?EUR? I know to be true. A long and hard self-searching that lasted more than ten years during and after the Bakumatsu. Denying that my past was just that, the past?EUR? Trying to forget my family and friends so I can move on, it never worked?EUR? I look back at her. ?EURoeIf you do that?EUR??EUR? I grin, ?EURoeYou?EUR(TM)ll be way ahead of me.?EUR?
She gets an ash tray from the cabinet. It was quite unexpected, I had thought she?EUR(TM)d just take a can?EUR? Her hands are suddenly on mine and although I ?EURshould- be retracting them immediately, I let her clean my glove. Perhaps it is because of my encounters with women that I find this not that alienating, although somehow I am glad she?EUR(TM)s taken the time to fuss at me, a grin escapes my lips. I could delude myself for a moment of course and think that?EUR? Just like back then when I had in Kyoto?EUR? But my mind races and I caught it just in time.
?EURoeYour husband?EUR? I mean Makoto?EUR(TM)s father?EUR??EUR? I blink I don?EUR(TM)t really know what to call ?EURthat- man, ?EURoehe smoked??EUR?
Do that… You can’t really get your future if you don’t remember where you came from or at least those people who you were with…
That he speaks of this… I think carefully on his words before speaking. “Oh course… the past is important, as are those one knows then… and know now.” I wonder how aware he is of what he’s missing? “The past is where we came from, what shapes us… and is always with us. One cannot live for it – but it should never be lost, however… there were important things there.”
He doesn’t seem too taken aback at my move to clean his glove. I see his grin and smile back before moving back to my side of the table. “Better now?” I ask.
Your husband… I mean Makoto’s father… he smoked?
How to discuss Hajime with himself? “We did not marry… and yes, Makoto’s father smoked.” Still does… I think how I love the smell of it… the taste. I notice we’ve both finished lunch. “So, do tell me… how did you like your lunch?” I ask with a smile.
One cannot live for it – but it should never be lost, however… there were important things there.”
Suddenly I scoff, that assurance that I’ve had before comes out. The arrogant bastard that is very much a part of me and the others… “Onna, I -know- that already. Why do you think I’m still alive?” I chuckle low as she takes her hand away. I could scare her and grab it… But I should stay focused on what I came her for.
“We did not marry… and yes, Makoto’s father smoked.”
Nodding my head I finish the rest of the meal.
“So, do tell me… how did you like your lunch?”
“Quite… Excellent.” I look back at her. It’s time for business but… “If I’m lucky enough maybe I’ll crash this place just like Sagara used to do.” I laugh, “But that really depends on you…”
Onna, I -know- that already. Why do you think I’m still alive?
“That you’re also rather stubborn… I would imagine that has something to do with it as well.” I raise my eyebrows… we are -both- rather stubborn, and that sometimes is a good thing and a bad thing.
If I’m lucky enough maybe I’ll crash this place just like Sagara used to do. But that really depends on you…”
Sagara… from -that- place. “Ah… I wouldn’t mind that, you know. It’s always… I enjoy seeing you.” I stand and take the plates, for a moment… I can’t quite convey it now what it means to me to see him here again.
At the counter, I turn back around to smile at him. “I’ve been told… that I do quite well with zaru soba.”
What am I doing? I came here for a reason… It’s hard not to reply back to that… I am rather stubborn, but I do not remember her as such. On the contrary she was a rather compliant woman who did everything to assist me while I searched…
“Ah… I wouldn’t mind that, you know. It’s always… I enjoy seeing you.”
“Glad to hear Hide…” Suddenly I’m very quiet and I think of our time in Kyoto. Those words, I think belong to someone else but it’s good to hear even if, so I just let a very small smile show on my lips.
“I’ve been told… that I do quite well with zaru soba.”
“Well… You’ll have to make servings for at least two people. I have a friend that is planning to relocate here, where it’s safe.” I look up. “A good friend of mine who’s in trouble In Kyoto. The Keishikan needs her to land a few fools behind bars.”
Staring, I think I’ve assumed a more serious expression than before. “I need a place where Saya can stay.”
Glad to hear Hide…
I take a moment to savor those words, and that bit of a smile on his lips. Seeing that… means so much to me right now.
I need a place where Saya can stay.
I nod. Saya… someone from a long time ago, in Kyoto… the octopus. I doubt that the person he thinks me to be knows Saya. “Ah… Ito is a rather safe place as with the tourists… new people can fit in well, and busy season is coming up. It is a rather unique small town at times.”
“But to stay…” I think. Takikawa’s place… I’ve asked him to hold onto it for me, and enough orchid seedlings is enough to keep him placated. But I doubt it would do for a lady. “I can ask around… how long will you need to stay?” I wonder if Hamada-san’s family will be selling her home right away… that is right in the neighborhood…
“If you need to come soon – she can stay with Makoto-chan and I and I know of a place – just a room – just at the bottom of the hill – where you could stay – until something more long-term is arranged.” I feel like I’m bombarding him with questions, but… to know that he will be around here more… gives me hope that we can find what was lost.
“Ah… Ito is a rather safe place as with the tourists… new people can fit in well, and busy season is coming up. It is a rather unique small town at times.”
I knot my eyebrows… She needs to stay inconspicuous a possible and that means she needs to blend in. She could stay here with Hide but just like I told Toshio, it is too risky.
“No. She and I will stay in one place but not here. Perhaps that room will do for now…”
Tapping my finger on my chin, I remove my gloves to let my hand breathe a little. I have thought out earlier that I could pass her off as my cousin or sister but there was a conversation we had in passing about how we do not look at all alike. I have no choice then.
“She’ll be known here as my woman…” I look back at Hide, “I can’t quite pass her off as a sister nor can I call her as my wife.”
I shrug and and play with the gloves a few more times before finally leaving it alone. My eyes narrow a bit at that… I do have things to take care of in Tokyo but am just not sure how to deal with.
“With the busy season you think you can find her some temporary employment?” I finally look up.
I make myself another cup of tea and him coffee before sitting back down across from Hajime again.
No. She and I will stay in one place but not here. Perhaps that room will do for now…
“I can show you where it is… and get it ready for you before the two of you return.”
He will be in Ito but not alone… but this is a start – not just for myself with him but for Makoto as well.
She’ll be known here as my woman… I can’t quite pass her off as a sister nor can I call her as my wife.
I nod. Saya will know who I am… and I wonder what she will know. “Of course,” I nod. I notice how he plays with the gloves…
With the busy season you think you can find her some temporary employment?
“Oh yes…” it would probably be best to keep her away from Sugiyama-san. Althought from what I know of Saya she could handle her. “What kind of work? I can inquire on that as well – I know people at the various onsen and ryoken here, or I do know of possibly shop work if she would prefer that…”
“I can show you where it is… and get it ready for you before the two of you return.”
“No… I trust you can make the arrangements yourself.” I frown. I should get back to Tokyo. I have my own things to take care of and I think my business is done here.
“What kind of work? I can inquire on that as well – I know people at the various onsen and ryoken here, or I do know of possibly shop work if she would prefer that…”
“She’s injured and cannot move her hips well.” I think about that time it happened it is quite a blur. It seemed unnatural that I’d let her get in a tight situation so easily and yet fail to deliver. I’ve always known myself not to handle failure well… But that time felt unnatural as if I wasn’t focused on my mission. “A shop would do nicely… She loves sweets.”
Just like Souji… I look back at Hide and narrow my eyes before letting it settle on a spot right behind her left ear. Abruptly I stand up.
“I should get going then, leave you here to tidy up before your daughter gets home.”
A shop… sweets… I think. “I will let you know something… will there be time to write you to let you know the arrangements, or will you be back sooner than that?”
I should get going then, leave you here to tidy up before your daughter gets home.
“She will be home soon – but I would very much like you to meet her, soon.” I smile at him… how we both need him back, in our own way. I stand with him… he seems ready to leave. As always time with him seems so brief… but there will be another day.
“I know it is work that brings you here… but I’m happy to know you will be in Ito.” I wonder… there are many places in Japan where he could have kept Saya safe. But that maybe he was drawn here…
I will let you know something… will there be time to write you to let you know the arrangements, or will you be back sooner than that?”
“I’ll be going to Kyoto to fetch Saya… After that I have business in Tokyo. It will be a while before I return there.”
Unless I really have to, the business between Tokio and I will have to wait…
I head for the door. “Write me, I might not reply but it’s better I know what to expect here.” I smirk slowly, how I hate being caught off guard.
“I know it is work that brings you here… but I’m happy to know you will be in Ito.”
Or do I hate it that much truly? So why am I nodding agreeably to Hide? And she seems quite glad to hear this when it’s nothing more than an imposition… Maybe she is lonely? She has no relatives here but surely she has friends. It’s puzzling although welcome.
“Earlier… I’m glad to see you’ve finally started paying more attention to security.” Another tobacco is once again on my lips, “Back then you were rather -careless-.”
Hmmm… That was supposed to be a joke and yet it’s not?
I chuckle, “Roaming the streets like that… What would’ve happened to you if someone else found you?” Throwing her a brief glance, “I hope you still have that tanto.”
Not waiting for a reply, I step out and go down the hill headed once again for the train. As I head to the main road I realize I didn’t even ask if she would like to send word to Tamesaburou… But that’s probably for the best.
(OOC: Saitou won’t be back until around the middle of the week next week. He forgot his gloves on the table. Do with it as you wish)