The day passes with a lot of activity – seeing to laundry, running Makoto around, going to the market, and I’m stopped on the street by one of the onsen staff and end up spending time there this afternoon trying to settle out the account from a banquet that they hosted last night. I wonder sometimes if I’m the only person in Sugiyama-san’s employ that can add numbers… ah well.
Makoto-chan had a fun afternoon with Isuzu-chan, Hiroku-san took them down to the shop and the girls got to “help out”. From how she describes it – unspooling ribbons, chasing around after papers that blew out the office window – I’m not sure how much “help” they were. But it left her tired enough to where she dropped off to sleep easily – right in the middle of her story.
Finally it’s night… and I’m looking forward to more time with Hajime. As I light the lamp to set on the engawa, I feel some of the day slipping away and I feel somewhat revitalized. I sit down with Makoto’s yukata, and wait…
Saturday June 13th 1885 – Evening
7 thoughts on “Saturday June 13th 1885 – Evening”
Comments are closed.
Bah… I still smell like fish.
I frown at that, the fishy smell isn’t just coming from the basket… Clearly I turn my head and sniff slightly, the smell is all over. As I walk I wonder why is that? I’ve only spent a day in the sea and after dinner with Saya I made sure to scrub myself thoroughly. I smirk slightly remembering how the Tako kept laughing earlier. This time I did tell her I was coming here. Stopping in the middle of the road, I look back. I still get weary leaving her behind like that but at least it is not too far and everything she needs is there. I need to stop thinking of Saya, I tell myself and turn once again upwards the hill. She’s now a cop like myself and we’ve worked together quite a few times…
Basket in hand, I arrive at the front gates and knock.
21:24] SafetyGirl0: (OOC – Start) I hear the knock at the gates and put down my sewing and walk over, opening the door. “Good evening, Hajime.” It’s then that I smell… fish.
[21:27] hajimenokizu: I hand her the fish basket and go inside.
[21:28] SafetyGirl0: Looking into the basket, “ah… thank you. Is this why you were saying something about the docks earlier?” I smile at him as I lead him over to the engawa.
[21:29] hajimenokizu: “Ah something like that. The tako found me employment…” I look around the engawa and start to smoke.
[21:30] SafetyGirl0: I set down the basket, “employment? Where are you working?”
[21:31] hajimenokizu: “just by the seaport. nothing permanent.” I scowl and puff.
[21:32] SafetyGirl0: I lean over to kiss his cheek. “Ah… it’s good to have something to do while Asuka-san is at work. But you do smell like fish.”
[21:34] hajimenokizu: “No need to remind me onna.” I turn my neck slightly trying to get some comfort. My scowl goes deeper as I realize I’m weary from physical work. Bah…
[21:37] SafetyGirl0: “I don’t mind how you smell,” I tell him, noticing how he moves his neck. I get up to kneel behind where he’s sitting, and put my hands on his shoulders and begin to lightly rub the muscles there through his shirt. “Does that help?” I ask, letting my thumbs make small circles on the back of his neck.
[21:38] hajimenokizu: “hmm… yes a little. you might need to knead a little harder.”
[21:39] SafetyGirl0: I let my fingers dig a little harder into his shoulder, noting how tense they are. “I even get like this and I work at a desk all day,” I say, moving from his shoulders down to his back. “Is this better?” I ask.
[21:41] hajimenokizu: “Yes. That should be enough.” It’s still stiff but no sense in letting her go on. It’s probably less from muscle pain and more from… “How was your day?”
[21:44] SafetyGirl0: With one last squeeze, I go to sit back down by him. “My day… I did laundry. I ran around… Satudays are like that sometimes. And then I somehow ended up at work for a while…” I sigh. “It’s a busy time there.” I look over at him. “I also liked being able to write to you.”
[21:46] hajimenokizu: Writing? “Ah… Yes.. -that-.” I don’t know what to say to writing. It’s not completely in context and here I move and act to make some sense to it. “We shouldn’t talk about writing here.”
[21:49] SafetyGirl0: He seems displeased that I bring it up… “It is a strange thing,” I agree. “But I like being able to speak to you more.” I think of the other morning… how happy I was and how I just wished that I was with him.
[21:50] hajimenokizu: “It’s a strange thing here.” And talking to you about it. but I decide not to add that. “You can speak to me. I might not look like it, but I do listen.”
[21:52] SafetyGirl0: “I know you do…” I take his free hand in mine. “And you know I listen to you, right?” I smile down at the hand in mine. “But you seem tired tonight… or is something on your mind?”
[21:56] hajimenokizu: “I’m tired yes. It’s been a while since I’ve done real work.” I smirk at that. How pathetic… I let her take my hand but I do rest my head on the wooden column. “As for something on my mind… Nothing really.” I look up. Why is it that my mind is just blank most of the time? “You said you went to work? It’s Saturday though…”
[22:01] SafetyGirl0: I look over at Hajime in the low light and it’s something in his voice… and as always I’m reminded at what he’s lost, the enormity of that. “Yes… I was at the marketplace to do shopping and one of the employees found me there and told me that Sugiyama-san was having problems settling an account.” I laugh softly. “Too bad I was caught, ne?” I let his hand rest in my lap and trace the lines on it. I say in a quiet voice. “I do want to know what’s on your mind… even if you think it’s nothing… sometimes the nothings that bother us the most… they may not seem so bad once they’ve been spoken of.”
[22:05] hajimenokizu: She seems fixated on my hand. I watch her surreptitiously while not turning my head. “Too bad indeed…” I narrow my eyes at nothing in particular, “But there’s nothing wrong in working hard. If Eiji was here…” I think of the time that I first met the boy, of how I threw him to the wall in annoyance. How is it that the same young man who had nothing but vengeance in his mind for a long time, keep me human the past few years? I smirk and blow a smoke up.
[22:06] hajimenokizu: “He’ll smile for you…” I finally finish remembering.
[22:08] SafetyGirl0: “Ah… smile for me? For working hard?” That thought makes me smile. “It was good of you to take that boy in. He needed more than just a home… ” Then I remember what he told me earlier. “You must be proud of him, going into the miliary.”
[22:10] hajimenokizu: I smirk at that, “The ahou cries like a girl.” I start chuckling thinking about that time he left. He was one of the things that turned out right somehow. “But yes every parent is proud of their children.”
[22:11] hajimenokizu: “or at least they should be…”
[22:13] SafetyGirl0: “Like a girl?” I ask. “When did that happen?” I think about what he says about children. “Mmm… I’m proud of Makoto. She’s bright… and already strong.” I frown a little, “but sometimes… I just don’t know what to tell her. She thinks she can handle things… in that way she’s too much like me.”
[22:17] hajimenokizu: “A long time ago…” Too distant of course in my opinion. Just like the past six years were a blur in pace but ironically enough they feel too distant. “As for Makoto… There are times when it’s best to let them learn from their mistakes.” I think of my brother Hiroaki and Katsu, my family whom I left because I was angry… The people whom I eventually learned to hate because I thought I was right… And took a long time to go back to, all because of pride… I turn my head towards the road. It’s a good thing the fence isn’t high and from the top of this hill I can see the house where Saya and I are staying, or at least part of it.
[22:21] SafetyGirl0: “I’m trying to let her handle it… the problems she has at school with the other girls.” I think of that day by the stream and her anger at me. “But it’s hard not to want to go and try to take care of everything for her. I just don’t want her to be cold…” I see him watching out of the fence, down the hill. “Do you need to go back?” I ask, “I want you to stay but I know you need to make sure Asuka-san is safe.”
[22:25] hajimenokizu: “To be cold… Will be her choice, but she’s young so of course she needs your guidance.” I shake my head, “I’m not in a position to lecture you about how to raise your child but you don’t throw a baby in a river and expect it to swim for it’s life.” I stand up for a moment and look out to see of any signs that indicate something might be wrong but I see none so I go back and sit myself on the engawa.
[22:30] SafetyGirl0: He doesn’t leave and I’m glad… “No. I welcome your opinions on the subject. Raising her on my own… sometimes I doubt myself, if I’m doing right by her, how often I’ve wished I have someone who would just listen to me… as you’re doing now.” I look over to him, and think of the note I got the other day “I have to go talk to her teacher on Monday morning, she and Isuzu-chan were playing with her rocks in class and got caught.”
[22:36] hajimenokizu: I frown at that. Perhaps it’s because I think of little children and school and compare it with myself and my work. “You should speak to her then… That in everything she does, now and in the future that she should always do it with conviction. Otherwise, she’s better off not wasting her time.” I chuckle suddenly, “Sumanai… Sometimes I forget we’re talking about a child..” I think for a long moment, “but that’s what I told my boys once.” I move closer by her and tilt my head as I watch her sitting on the engawa, “but there’s always one thing you should remind your child, that even if they do something wrong and even when you are angry at that moment… That she can always come to you… That is your duty as a parent after all, to help your child when they fall.”
[22:42] SafetyGirl0: I nod, “she -loves- school and loves learning… she has a wonderful curosity…” I smile thinking of her, always -investigating- something. I wonder again how “helpful” she was at the Mochizuki’s. “And she knows that I’m here for her… for when she falls or when she’s happy.” I think of the fight we had a few weeks back, “but I’ll remind her. I always knew that I could go to my mother, after all.” I notice as he moves closer and smile.
[22:45] hajimenokizu: “Good… because there’s nothing worse than adhoc belief and having nothing to go back to.” I lean standing up on the engawa and crossed my arms as I smoke, “Do you have any coffee?”
[22:49] SafetyGirl0: I stand, “of course I have coffee… ” I grin at him. “Do forgive me for not offering it to you sooner.” I go inside, taking the basket of fish with me. Taking only a minute, I come back out with his coffee and tea for myself. “The fish looks wonderful… when can you come so I can cook some of it for you?”
[22:50] hajimenokizu: “Ah… I’m afraid I won’t see you until I get back from Kyoto. Tomorrow I do not plan to let the octopus away from my sight and since I’ll be gone a few days, I need to put in good time by the docks.” I take a sip of the coffee.
[22:54] SafetyGirl0: I nod, “then when you get back… I -will- cook for you.” I smile at him, looking at him for a long moment. “I’ll miss you… even if it’s just for a couple of days…” That was something I could never tell him before. So many things I never expressed or asked because I was afraid it would bother him…. when in fact it was something that I should have said.
[22:55] hajimenokizu: “Don’t cook the same fish…” I know she won’t but I just grin at that.
[22:56] SafetyGirl0: “I’ll try to do a variety…” I laugh, “I have to keep your interest up, ne?”
[22:56] hajimenokizu: “hmmm… you had me on soba.”
[22:57] SafetyGirl0: “Oh really?” I move closer to him. “Well… I might make you a variety of fish, but I’ll still make your soba. If I pass your high standards… ” I grin.
[22:59] hajimenokizu: I take a sip of the coffee and finish my cigarette. “I came here to ask you a favor. While I’m gone, can Saya stay here. I do not want her to be alone at night.”
[23:02] SafetyGirl0: “Of course,” I agree. “I can understand that … Ito is a quiet place but you’ll leave better knowing that she’s not alone.” I put down my tea on the engawa… it’s not really tea I… “Makoto-chan seems to like her, too.”
[23:05] hajimenokizu: “Good…” I’d ask her what she would like but we already talked about her family in Kyoto and indeed there’s no need to repeat the same things. “Thank you.”
[23:07] SafetyGirl0: “It’s not a problem… ” I look down and then back up at him. “But tell me… you just came here to ask me for a favor?” I smile, tilting my head slightly.
[23:10] hajimenokizu: I look down. “Suma… Heh…” I grin a foul one, “That’s all I ever did back then… Ask you for favors…” Why that seems to strike a very sore chord with me… I finish my coffee and place it on the engawa. “Is there something I can do for you?” I look back at her and wonder why she’s smiling.
[23:15] SafetyGirl0: “I like it that I can do something for you… ” I’m quiet for a moment. “You’ve always done so much for me… Soon… I’ll need a favor from you. I… want to go to Kyoto, and I need someone… someone I care about and can rely on… to be with me.” I shake my head slightly, and go to stand by him, leaning my head against his arm, looking up at the sky.
[23:19] hajimenokizu: Now that she’s standing beside me, my arm goes around her waist. I look at it for a moment as if it was some foreign object. “If you want to go, then you shouldn’t waste too much time and just go. You can come with me Tuesday this week.”
[23:25] SafetyGirl0: I move closer as he puts his arm around me. “This Tuesday…” I think, it’s sooner than I thought but I can’t keep sitting here thinking -someday soon-. I could explain to Sugiyama-san… she is aware of my estrangement, that’s part of my past I told her about. “I would like to go, if I won’t be in your way for work… do you think that Asuka-san would watch Makoto?” I look up at him, and say quietly, “when I’m with you… I don’t know, it’s as if… I feel like I can face some of these things that scare me. Or simply things that I don’t think that I’m bold enough to do.” I lean up to brush my lips against his neck.
[23:31] hajimenokizu: “I trust Saya with my life… So I think it would be alright to leave Makoto with her.” Then she talks about facing things, the way she speaks you’d think we’ve been together all these years when truly it’s been a week at most and I still don’t know how it came to that. But her lips are on my neck and suddenly I’m aware we’re outside. I smirk slightly, way to go ahou… you weren’t too concerned last night… right saitou? without speaking I lead her inside and closed the door behind us.
[23:35] SafetyGirl0: If he thinks so… I trust him with Makoto, even if he doesn’t know it. “Good. I’ll want to talk to both of them…” but suddenly I feel lighter, feeling something that has been weighing me down all these years… if not lifted, that I’m finally doing something. Then Hajime leads me inside, and I look up at him with a grin. “Ah… I tend to get carried away…” Last night on the engawa on back was one thing but right in front of the house… I take his hand and lead him to the tatami room.
[23:41] hajimenokizu: I place her against the wooden wall and take a long moment just watching her face. I hold her cheek in both of my hand a plant a searing kiss on her lips… Almost hungry for some reason. Finding her tongue I beckon it to tangle with mine, acquainting myself with from the root to the roof of her mouth and I taste something very luscious and I close my eyes. How I want to tell her… But I cower in confusion and fear and I break the kiss sooner than I would’ve liked. I shake my head and go by the window and start to smoke.
[23:48] SafetyGirl0: He breaks the kiss too soon, just as I felt myself becoming lost to it. I go to stand with him at the window, wrapping my arms around his waist, “I told you… this isn’t going to fast for me. Is it for you? I don’t regret it…. because…” Just say it… I tighten my arms around him and say. “Hajime… I love you.” I look up at him, my eyes sure, and I smile. Loving him makes me happy… and I need to tell him.
[23:55] hajimenokizu: Going too fast? “No Hide. I just need to be sure…” Even this is so unsettling… Didn’t I just go sleeping around for who knows how long? So why do I treat this woman as if she’s China that can easily be broken when I know and see she’s a very strong woman. Is it because she was a good friend of mine? How I just want to coil into those arms and lavish in the moment and feel like I deserved it. I hear her say something… That she loves me. How I dread those words… I am a man who cannot return that. I never could with my wife nor Saya. I open my mouth, it shouldn’t be too hard to say but I clamp it like a vise and instead just slid my free hand into hers.
[00:03] SafetyGirl0: He doesn’t answer… but that’s not the point of telling him. I don’t want him to say it just to say it. When he does… I hold tightly onto the hand that holds onto mine. And I love him irregardless… that’s simply how it is. My eyes soften as I look at him, holding his mouth so tightly shut. I stand on the tips of my toes and look into his eyes, leaning against him, but I’m also afraid in all of this that I’ve hurt him somehow. “For now… just enjoy it. For some reason we’ve found each other… now… in this place.”
[00:07] hajimenokizu: She lets me off the hook…. Is that even normal? If it had been any other woman, perhaps I’d be thrown out of this house. I narrow my eyes and pull her up slightly to embrace her and whisper, “Souji was one damn lucky bastard…” But of course I do not add, and a damn cursed one as well…
[00:13] SafetyGirl0: I brush his bangs back, looking into those amber eyes that I adore so much, lost in them for a moment, searching them… I nod, “in some ways he was.” Glad that he’s pulled me up a little, I’m now close enough to bring my lips to his.
[00:17] hajimenokizu: I finally let her go and let out a breath to compose myself. “Isn’t your birthday coming up in a few weeks? Was there something you wanted in particular? and when is Makoto’s?”
[00:22] SafetyGirl0: He remembers and my eyes shine… “yes… on the 30th. But it’s a long ways until Makoto’s… hers is not until December.” I tell him. “And yours is even further,” I sigh. “But what I want?” I grin at him but it fades into a smile as I touch his face, letting my hand settle on his jaw. “Surprise me…”
[00:23] hajimenokizu: I scowl at that. “Surprise you?” i say indignantly, “Why don’t you just tell me so it would be easier and more -efficient-???”
[00:27] SafetyGirl0: “Then…” I lean back slightly and tilt my head. “It’s more efficent yes but…” I think for a moment about what I -really- want. I want him -back- is what I really want. “Then take me away… just you and I, something special, even if we only have a night to ourselves. I did like waking beside you yesterday… I would like that more than any kimono.” I laugh, “and I -love- clothes.”
[00:31] hajimenokizu: “Aren’t you getting just a tad bit greedy Yagi Hide?” I chuckle… At least now I don’t have to guess too much. That’s a relief. “If I take you anywhere then you’ll have to comply to my rules and demands even -if- it is your day. Agreed?”
[00:34] SafetyGirl0: “Greedy?” I pretend to look offended but only grin. “I tend to call it… going after what I want.” I’m glad he takes to the suggestion. “Your rules and your demands? Ah… ” I raise my eyebrows. “to that… I shall agree.”
[00:39] hajimenokizu: I grin this time, a very wide one. I turn her face slightly and kiss her cheek. “Good…” I straigthen up, “Thanks for putting up with a “fishy” man, neko-chan but it’s too late and you should go to bed ne?” I laugh all of a sudden at the image… “Hmmm but cats do like fish ne?” I hope and I smile.
[00:42] SafetyGirl0: I’m overwhelmed for a moment by his use of the name… “Cats -love- fish,” I lean into him and run my tongue up the side of his neck. “But next time you come smelling like this… I should help you clean up, ne?” I say in a low voice, close to his ear, as I nip at his earlobe. “Tasty…” I laugh softly.
[00:47] hajimenokizu: Hmmm… As she runs her tongue on my skin I grit my teeth and tell myself there’s always tomorrow. Yes the longer we get to know each other, perhaps it will do us some good. “Tasty? Not as tasty as the dessert I had last night.” I lead both of us out to the engawa. “I’ll see you…” I grin, “we leave Tuesday morning until then maybe you should take Makoto out since you’ll be gone a few days.”
[00:54] SafetyGirl0: “Yes… that was a -very- good dessert…” I agree with a smile, “but next time… I would like more of a taste of you as well.” I look up at him, suddenly longing…. “I’ll see you Tuesday morning, but I will need to speak with Asuka-san… I think I will make it a special day for Makoto and I tomorrow, so if perhaps she would come see me Monday after work…” I think out loud. Ah, here I am thinking of practicalities when… “I’ll see you.” It’s dark enough, so I pull him down for one last kiss before he goes.
[00:58] hajimenokizu: “I’ll tell her.” She pulls me down for a kiss and as she finished, I decide what the heck and stole another one. “Do lock up properly.” Why is it that I think this place is so easy to get into? That will always drive me nuts. (OOC: Exits the wolf)
[01:00] SafetyGirl0: I follow him to the gate to lock up, and turn to go back inside…. Kyoto… so much to think of there but I know I’ll have him with me as I face this… (OOC – end scene)