We leave the ryoken and I lead us through the streets of Kyoto on this early afternoon in summer. Warm but there’s a good breeze.
I glance over to Hajime with a smile, “I keep dragging you into my family business. Thank you for being here for me.”
We come to a small flower shop that is just where I remember it. I select some flowers, and after paying the woman we continue walking.
“Have you ever been up to Kiyomizudera Temple?” I ask, taking his hand again with my free one as I lead us through the streets, heading south and the cliff where the temple sits. “It’s a very scenic place, the view of the entire city from there…” I remember how as I child I would sit and watch for long periods of time while I waited on my father, looking out when I should have been studying the book that I had been given…
June 18, 1885 – Afternoon in Kyoto
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As we walk, I’m reminded of how I like Kyoto much better in Spring or Autumn. Not that I paid any real attention to the colors back then, and my recent visits here has been all business.
“Quite plain during the summers…” I murmur as I follow Hide and she turns.
“I keep dragging you into my family business. Thank you for being here for me.”
I grin and crossed my arms. “Agreed you’re quite a helpless creature sometimes. But cook for me when we get home and everything will be forgiven.”
Home… A rather interesting word… I had that at one point and family… How she seems to want me in her family business, I don’t really mind. It’s been so long…
She stop by a small flower shop and for a moment I wonder if she read my mind about how aesthetically plain the streets are today. But she mentions Kiyomizudera and it’s no surprise.
“The temple is famous for it’s miraculous water…” I grin as she takes my hand. “No. I’ve never been there.”
Of course I know the temple, it is rather quite popular among the Japanese especially those trying to find… I glance at Hide and I wonder if I found mine.
“It’s been -years- since I stepped foot into a temple. Did I tell you that at one point I was a buddhist monk?”
A grin escapes me again… A sword wielding, gut wrenching monk at least.
But cook for me when we get home and everything will be forgiven
I grin back over at him. “Hmmm… it has been a few days since you’ve had soba. When we get home, I’ll see to making you something -passable-” That he calls it home…
The temple is famous for it’s miraculous water…
“Ah, good, you know of it, but it’s rather well known for that and other things in Kyoto,” I say, looking at all of the little shops that line the road, trying to tempt tourists with little trinkets and charms. Yes the water… and that one shrine… “I spent a lot of time here when I was younger.” Indeed these streets are familliar…
Did I tell you at one point I was a buddhist monk?
I look over at him, “Really? No, you’ve not told me about that…”
“Really? No, you’ve not told me about that…”
“Oh I didn’t?” I grin and drop the subject. Maybe I’ll tell her someday of those escapades but for now…
“I spent a lot of time here when I was younger.”
“That’s quite unusual for the young, I don’t recall that you were ever the religious one when we were staying at your father’s place. Or was I mistaken?”
I stop for a moment to reach for my cigarettes but then I remember I -just- run out earlier.
He doesn’t elaborate about being a monk… truly… there is so much to him. We arrive at the temple grounds, and approach the Niomon Gate.
That’s quite unusual for the young, I don’t recall that you were ever the religious one when we were staying at your father’s place. Or was I mistaken?
“We came here usually more for non-religious reasons.” Ahead of us is the Saimon Gate, I lead Hajime away from the path most of the tourists are taking to some of the other buildings. “My father’s closest friend is a monk here, he would come often for tea and conversation. They knew each other from childhood… and when I was young he often took me with him. At that time he paid a lot of attention to my education – I was -supposed- to come for study while he visited but I’m afraid that I wasn’t a very good student.” Not that it was overly strict… I think it just gave Father a good reason to make a trip out here weekly.
I see a younger monk entering one of the buildings I remember. “Is Suzuki-san available? Yagi Hide is here to visit him?” The young man bows and goes off with my request.
“So for many years… I was a frequent visitor here, tagging along with my father.” I look at the flowers that I hold, there are other reasons as well.
I nod as she tells me of her father… I do wonder how frequent she used to come here. I doubt she’d just come to meet her father’s old friend and this place is… Perhaps I have no choice but to wait. Keeping my eyes open I look at every stand, there’s no cigarettes anywhere… I might have to settle for the traditional later.
“Is Suzuki-san available? Yagi Hide is here to visit him?”
So his name is Suzuki… Standing idly I fold my hands over my chest and watch as the man leaves to fetch the monk.
The young monk comes back, and bids us to follow him. “Suzuki-san doesn’t get around so well anymore,” he tells us by way of explanation. Well yes, if he’s my father’s age, and I think of how old he -would- have been… I had forgotten to ask Tamesaburou about him, and was half-afraid that I would hear sad news upon coming here.
I don’t let go of Hajime’s hand as we walk down by the side of one of the buildings. We’re lead to a small room that overlooks the garden to wait. He leaves us, telling us he’ll be back shortly with tea.
“I’ve not seen him in a long time… but there are other reasons I thought to come here. A family reason, and one a bit more…” I smile at him, softly, my eyes lingering on his face. “You’ll see.” Although it is a rather known place.
“I’ve not seen him in a long time… but there are other reasons I thought to come here. A family reason, and one a bit more…”
“You miss him?” I grin and whisper in her ear as we walk.
I think of that other reason why she came here, I’d rather not be too presumptious. Gah… I need a cigarette and there’s -nothing-. Well, not surprising for this part of Kyoto, but I did not get the habit until I moved to Tokyo permanently more than fifteen years ago.
“So who else aside from your father did you use to bring here?”
You miss him?
I shiver slightly at his breath in my ear, and glance over at Hajime from the side of my eyes. “Mmmm… he’s almost like an uncle. A very kind man and I’ve known him my entire life.”
So who else aside from your father did you use to bring here?
“My cousins, when they were in town,” I laugh softly, thinking of how they almost -ran- up the stairs. As interested in love and men as they were, it was like two moths at a flame…
I wonder if he means… but Souji and I never went far from Mibu when we did go out. By that time, I no longer went with my father… the conversations had gone from chats over a game of go to very serious ones.
Then the door slides open and an old man slowly enters, leaning on a cane. I bow low, “I’m glad to see you again, Suzuki-san.”
I saw surprised to hear who my visitor was today, and I come into the sitting room to see her there with a man.
“Oh ho! Hide-chan!” How good it is to see one of Yagi-san’s children. There’s older boy with little ones of his own and the pretty wife; and then the younger one that wants to poke through our library. But it’s been a long time since I’ve seen Hide-chan. I chuckle to myself, at how she seemed flustered by that old name. I still see my old friend’s little girl with the flying sleeves and the tiny steps. “How good it is to see you!” I nod.
I bow at the man by her side. It’s something subtle in the way they turn towards each other – and that they’re holding hands… I may be a monk but I’m certainly not blind! I don’t remember Tamesaburou-kun telling me that Hide-chan had… “ah, are you Hide-chan’s husband?” I bow at the tall man.
Her cousins… Perhaps I do think of her more of her later years, I sometimes forget that people had a life before the advent of the bakumatsu.
I nod my head at the old man. I still don’t know why she’d bring me here so I stay quietly and just observe.
The old man seems agreeable enough, certainly he seems fond of Hide. He greets me and I’m compelled to bow slightly.
“ah, are you Hide-chan’s husband?”
Since I’ve been rather -careless-, it does not escape me that Suzuki saw…
I pause thinking what dire situation this is. Perhaps this Suzuki is a little bit more open minded, but certainly if I were to deny of my relation to Hide it will not look well. However, if Tamesaburou comes and talks to this old man… It cannot be helped I suppose.
“I am not her husband… I am a suitor.”
That’s the best I suppose I can do for -now-. Quite a meddlesome fellow this Suzuki.
Hide-chan… nobody’s called me that in years, and at almost thirty-nine… I can only smile, slightly embarrassed but also touched.
ah, are you Hide-chan’s husband?
He always was on the -inquisitive- side… and Hajime answers that he’s a suitor. Which is true. I glance over at Hajime before speaking, “Suzuki-san, this is Yamaguchi Hajime,” I say, “I thought I would bring him by – he knew my parents as well.”
A suitor… I nod, thinking that Hide-chan probably came here also for the Jishu shrine. He appears agreeable enough, and she mentions that he knew her parents… so this isn’t something new. She seems happy, though, which is good to see.
“I see your brothers here from time to time,” I tell her, “Tamesaburou-kun told me that you were in Ito now?” She nods. I rise, and bid them to follow me, “let me walk with you, then, I’ve not stopped by in a few weeks now.” It’s true that I’m not getting around as I used to…
I wondered where that tea was… ah well. I don’t want to take up too much of Suzuki-san’s time, and he goes ahead to lead us outside and towards the back of the temple grounds.
Hajime and I walk a few steps behind him. “More family business…” I tell him in a low voice. “I thought I would come to see my parents.” This isn’t a large graveyards, but it’s lovely, as such things go.
We approach the area where the graves are, it’s as serene as I remember it. I realize that I’ve not been here since before I first went to Tokyo.
“Good, good, you brought flowers,” Suzuki-san observed, “your mother would like that.”
“More family business…” I tell him in a low voice. “I thought I would come to see my parents.”
I nod. It’s unfortunate that I have not seen both after Toba-Fushimi. I admired her father for his tenacity and spirit, even if we did not speak. Yagi-san was fond of the Kyokuchou though, even if he was not taken by Hijikata-san well. It’s at these moments that I wish I mingled more instead of busying myself all the time with patrol, kendo instruction, surveillance and drinking.
Her love for gardens… It must be because of her mother. Perhaps her cooking was from her grandmother, now that I think about it Harada always had the “special” meals since the oba-san was fond of him. I smile slightly, the old woman said Harada looked like her belated husband… Too bad she died…
The senko sticks…
I narrow my eyes. I was given responsibility for it but it was the Kyokuchou who saved my ass, while I was out doing errands for the Yakuza. No one ever found out, thanks to Kondou-san. Still… A frown tugs at my lips and rightly so.
I wonder… If anyone of them would approve? Of course not…
Standing to a corner, I stand around as non-chalantly as I could. I swear by the time tonight is over I’ll have my fix.
Before I go from Hajime’s side I notice that he’s not smoked in a while.
Setting the flowers out, I kneel in front of the stones, noticing that it’s well tended. Suzuki-san or do my brothers make it out here often? It’s then I wonder… what would they say, what would they think of their granddaughter? Had they been alive… if mother were still…
I probably never would have left Kyoto. The events that set my life in motion… more likely there wouldn’t be any motion. But thanks to her and her careful planning, I had the chance to take the path that I’m on now.
The man who stands behind me… what would they think of him? He didn’t spend as much time with us as Souji did, or Harada-san. He’s a good man, and I love him. I would tell them.
I close my eyes and for a moment I can see her, in the long talks her and Tamesaburou and I had before her death, about my future, about how I had the chance… to see what I could find.
I say a prayer and rise, turning to smile at both Suzuki-san and Hajime.
I step forward to pat Hide-san’s hand. “Thank you for coming by, Hide-chan. It does me good to see my old friend’s children doing well.” He would like to know that, and the boys don’t really speak of their sister enough. Tamesaburou-kun hinted at something amiss but I didn’t press.
Suddenly I’m tired, as often hits me these days. “And good luck to you, Yamaguchi-san.” I bow. In another time I would have quizzed this suitor of Hide-chan, to make sure he was suitable as Yagi-san isn’t here to see to it, but I’m sure that Tamesabutou-kun is looking after her.
I look at the two of them and I smile, “you two should go out of this area and head left if you’d like to go directly to Jishu-gongen,” I chuckle as I walk away, ready to get back to my room and have a rest. I say my goodbyes to Hide-chan and her Yamaguchi-san before leaving.
(OOC – Exit Sazuki)
The old man leaves. Good enough, the old needs their rest after all.
“you two should go out of this area and head left if you’d like to go directly to Jishu-gongen,”
Jishu-gongen of course is the place where prayers are offered in exchange for wishes concerning those things I once shunned. Being a practical man, why wish for something that was not remotely… Ah but I’m wrong I suppose.
She smiles and I come closer to stand across from her. “It’s been a while hasn’t it? Are you alright?” I ask. She probably is fine but I do not know, family reunions of this kind in my experience always left one awkward, just like the few times I used to visit Hiroaki in Tokyo.
It’s been a while hasn’t it? Are you alright?
I nod, “yes…” I look up at him, and know that had I been here alone… I doubt I would have made this trip, no matter how much I needed to do this – not out of obligation but because I do wish to honor my parents. “Thank you for being here with me,” I say, and I’m just struck with how much… I lean up to briefly kiss his cheek, and then glance back over to the graves. “It’s good that I could do this.”
Leaving that area, I lead us in the direction of the Jishu shrine. “I’d never come here -with- someone,” I say, how different to want something specific instead of the vague ideas that I had when I came here as a young girl. “Have you heard of this shrine?” I realize that while every girl in Kyoto of course holds this place dear he might have no idea…
She almost stands on her toes while she gave me a peck.
“It’s good that I could do this.”
“Good but I’m not really sure if you should be kissing me in front of them.” I chuckle and follow her lead.
“I’d never come here -with- someone,
“…” I couldn’t find a good come back to that. I had thought initially she wanted to reminisce about those times when she was a young lady absolutely smitten with my friend. I’m surprised this place would’ve been an absolute to visit for both of them. Although small this place does remind me a bit of Sensoji Asakusa in Tokyo. The goddess Kannon was there as well and could grant the same wishes. I wonder if it is still as crowded there as that time… Oh wait I haven’t been there since I took Tokio there while she was carrying Tsutomu. I grin and shake my head at how mixed my thoughts are.
“Have you heard of this shrine?”
So as not to reveal what I was thinking earlier and also to not sound too presumptious, I opted for a little white lie. I furrowed my brows and put on a rather blank expression as if I was just “lost” as to what the place is.
“You must be feeling ill if you want to go there. But as I’ve told you the water works miracles, I -heard-.”
You must be feeling ill if you want to go there. But as I’ve told you the water works miracles, I -heard-.
I laugh, “no, you’re thinking of the Otowa-no-taki,” I say. “That’s what else Kiyomizudera is known for. And I am -far- from ill.” I grin.
Since he doesn’t know, I start to tell him, “no… this is a Shinto shrine,” and I’m glad that it’s been left alone and not made to separate, but this place is so established and known… I glance over at Hajime and hold his hand tighter. “It’s a shrine to Okuninushi no Mikoto, and said to be something very meaningful for love and marriage.”
“There are things for those seeking love… and those…” I stop, turning to stand in front of Hajime, looking up at him, “those couples wishing for luck and blessings in what they’ve already found.” I know how lucky I am to have him… but its the connection this place has with marriage… it’s strange, how in the old days I wouldn’t even let myself think like that. In a soft voice, I say, “I find myself among the second group… those who have found their beloved and are here for a little luck as they move forward together.”
She stops and faces me. Yes… I already know that. Perhaps a little cloudy earlier of course. I just don’t know why I can’t seem to get it in my head that we’re now in the present, she and I… Not those old times. Am I really this possesive of her? How frightening…
“I find myself among the second group… those who have found their beloved and are here for a little luck as they move forward together.”
I slid my arms around her waist and urge us both forward. “Then you really shouldn’t wait…” and I murmur, “I could use a little luck too.”
As we walk along the pavement, a few people passes us, most of whom were younger. I grin, to be doing this… Something in my head tells me it’s a bit silly and I’m a grown man… But I never got to do this back then and I don’t want to miss anything -anymore-.
(OOC: Poofed. Going to sleep, you may close thread and start new or continue I’ll answer tomorrow)
I indicate the little stalls around the grounds. “See… there’s for fortunes and charms… but it’s these rocks that are so well known…”
Then you really shouldn’t wait… I could use a little luck too.
I let go of him. “It’s said, the point is, to walk from one rock to the other… thinking of your beloved. If you reach the other side…” I smile at him, and bring my hand to touch his cheek, “it’s a very lucky sign.”
I grin slightly, seeing a blushing young couple pass by us. This is something people half our age… yet that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t. I step in front of the first rock and close my eyes.
As I walk… it’s only a few steps. I realize what a wonderful metaphor for love this is… walking blind at times but knowing that it’s still there… one foot in front of the other, I walk carefully towards the other rock…
Hajime… I think of him as I move forward. For everything that we’ve shared… for everything we are to each other. I need him back so badly but that he’s here now… that he came to find me, that we still reach out across time and space. The immensity of how I love him… in every sense, and I know that through all of this that he still loves me? It’s simply amazing.
“It’s said, the point is, to walk from one rock to the other… thinking of your beloved. If you reach the other side…” “it’s a very lucky sign.”
I quirk my eyebrow as she turns away and starts to cross. She has her eyes closed and I…
“Wait! You might fall and trip if you walk like that!” I run across catching up to her to hold her arms and guide her back if she insisted on being stubborn and not open her eyes. But it is I who trips and found myself falling, taking Hide with me. Twisting violently I let my back hit the pavement with a thud and the woman laying on top of me as if we’re a sandwich ready to be jellied.
Several people stops and looks at us as if they’d never seen adults… I grin at all of them and wrap my arms around Hide just to mock the hell out of the curious cats.
Wait! You might fall and trip if you walk like that!
I smile at him with my eyes closed as he takes my arm. He’s to guide me, just as he always has, even when he didn’t know it. Even when he wasn’t really there… the thought of him has saved me in the past, such as when Makoto was born.
However, he trips and we fall…
For a moment I’m stunned, as we’re laying on the ground. When he puts his arms around me and grins at the people around from us…
“Are you alright?” I ask, grinning down at him. Oh, if we’re already like this… I lean down to bring my lips to his in a kiss that is both soft and insistent. Not caring where we are… just that I’m with him and the need I have for him is something that I will never again deny.
“Are you alright?”
I have no time to answer as her mouth is on mine… I fight with her tongue and my hands settle on both sides of her waist. I groan realizing that we’re at the wrong place of course. Why is it that at those times that I really want this woman, it’s always at the wrong place…. And if it is at the right place, always at the wrong time???
Breaking the kiss, I hold her cheeks in the palm of my hand. “Sumanai I didn’t mean to disturb your ritual.” I scratch the back of my head and get up with a weird grin on my face, “I don’t believe much in superstitions but I do believe in symbolism so I’ll walk behind you with my eyes open.”
I can hear a few people snickering in the background, but no scowl escapes my face for some reason.
When he kisses me… I want him, and as he touches me… I remember once when I was too shy to even let him kiss me outside, but I did get past that, I remember with a grin. He needs to remember that as well… But he -will-.
“Good to see that you’re not injured,” I say as we get up, and wipe the dirt from his back. “But thanks… for catching me.” I see that we’re getting some attention, but I hear one young girl say to another as they pass by, “see, I -told- you this place works,” she giggles. I want to tell him, maybe we should go back to –
Sumanai I didn’t mean to disturb your ritual. I don’t believe much in superstitions but I do believe in symbolism so I’ll walk behind you with my eyes open.
I lead him back to the first rock, “this time take care, Hajime,” I tease. I put one of his hands on my waist, the one on my shoulder. “Love may be blind but sometimes it needs a little help, ne?” I tilt my head back to kiss the underside of his chin before stepping forward with my eyes closed.
As we walk across, it seems like this is the longest walk that I’ve ever taken in my whole life. Although I know that’s not true at all. I’m almost wishing I was the one who had his eyes closed as younger people just kept looking at us.
Just a little more…
I plant a grin on my face just slightly embarassed.
My face is not getting red is it? But I do feel quite warm… No.. No! Hopefully not.
We finally reach the other end and an old man standing there started chuckling. I’d reprimand him for making fun of us… And anyway I’m the one who chuckles here, not -him-.
“I thought you two would never finish. It’s my turn.”
The short old man goes past us and I’m surprised… Out comes a shorter lady and they cross together.
“And I thought -you- were old Hide…” I laugh softly and let her go not turning back. The afternoon went by fast and I’m hungry and I need cigarettes.
We get across this time without incident, as an old couple goes around us to cross, and there’s something so sweet in that.
And I thought -you- were old Hide…
I laugh, not because he was -that- funny but just out of pure delight… this lovely day and this man by my side. I catch up with him, and I take his hand with a bright smile. “Ah… I’m still a good two years younger than you…” I remind him. “And I think we will have -many- good years yet together.”
I stop at one of the little stalls selling charms, and buy two that seem right. Grinning, I kiss one before I putting it in his pocket. “That little luck you asked for.”
I lead him away from Kiyomizu, back down the hill. We didn’t even get to those sites that most come for… but I did get to do what I needed to, and to take him to that place. A place for love that hopes… “Should we see to getting some dinner?” Being summer it will be a while before night falls.
(OOC: Much later…)
I?EUR(TM)ve been walking now for who knows how long and each store I stop by have no cigarettes in hand.
?EURoeTobacco sir, we also have a pipe?EUR??EUR?
?EURoeNo!?EUR? I turn and see a pipe peddler and I scowl.
Must find a smoke NOW!
I look over my shoulder and see Hide is still quite a few paces behind so I motion to her to hurry up and go downhill. Perhaps along the Takase river there will be more shops that I can investigate if they carry cigarettes. My mouth is starting to water and my patience growing thin. I spot a few establishments but realize if I go in them she?EUR(TM)ll never find me. Crossing my arms I stand at the middle of the bridge, to get a good view of the passerbys. A small cargo boat passes and I follow it with my eyes as it leaves the creek heading for a tributary and I see at the end how the the Takase kawa broadens and winds to the left, taking the boat with it.
Gah.. What the hell? Where is that woman???
Hajime darts around from store to store, and I try to catch up. I forget how -fast- he goes sometimes. From what I’ve heard when I’ve been within hearing distance of him, he’s on the hunt for cigarettes.
For a moment I lose sight of him… but then I see him heading towards the river.
He finally stops on a bridge that crosses the Takase and I catch up, relieved that I found him again. “Hajime…” I say, going to stand next to him as I glance at the boat below. “Do remember that I am rather -slow-.”
I look over to the shops by the other side of the river. “Think you’ll have more luck over there?” Shopping for import items in Kyoto… well, it’s not Tokyo in that regard.
“Do remember that I am rather -slow-.”
I tilt my head in an almost exasperated manner and do not answer. Instead I drag her by the hand and walked briskly to the stores, doing the same routine I had done earlier. Each window I know and each noren we pass by just says “No” and the owners giving us an incredulous look.
No luck and I’m tired and hungry.
I turn to Hide not hiding the disappointment on my face.
“It’s at these times that I wish I was in Tokyo.” I tell her and pout, sitting at the side of the road just -hopeless-.
We’re having no success with cigarettes. They’re simply not known here in Kyoto, I fear. And Hajime only grows more irritated with each “no” we hear from the shopkeepers.
It’s at these times that I wish I was in Tokyo
He’s -pouting-… and with that expression how he resembles… I sit by him at the side of the road and put an arm around his waist. “Ah… Kyoto is not always on top of the latest Western imports,” I say. I lean over to kiss his cheek. “We’ve not had dinner yet… we could go back to the ryoken and order dinner from there.” I smile over at him… we’ve run all over Kyoto today and lunch was a long time ago.
It’s too bad about his cigarettes however… He will -miss- those… “Come on…” I stand up, taking his hand.
“Ah… Kyoto is not always on top of the latest Western imports,” “We’ve not had dinner yet… we could go back to the ryoken and order dinner from there.”
“Tch…”
I’ll be damned if I don’t get any for the night and I have a long day tomorrow… Maybe…
Immediately I stand up leading us back to the main road.
“We’re heading towards Mibu.” I tell her and herd her into a carriage not even waiting for her to agree.
“Driver, take us to Shimogyo along the Kamo.” I shout before taking a seat beside Hide, “We’ll eat there.”
He pulls me into a carriage… and directs the driver to take us to Mibu. “Mibu?” For a moment I wonder if he wants to go back to my brother’s, but then he directs the driver to somewhere by the river.
Shimogyo… but still his mood seems rather fowl. “Hajime… do I need to take you mind off of your cigarettes?” I reach over for his hand. If he just sits there dwelling on them he’ll be like this until we can get somewhere where he can get some.
“Hajime… do I need to take you mind off of your cigarettes?”
“Unless you roll yourself up in a wrapper and light yourself up then probably not.”
I look out the window tapping my chin. The only thing good about this is the driver is moving to my satisfaction. She’s still holding my hand so I decide to slide my fingers out of the glove.
“You can have the glove if you want.”
Unless you roll yourself up in a wrapper and light yourself up then probably not
I shake my head. He’s still -pouting-. “You are quite inconsolable without those, ne?”
You can have the glove if you want.
I take the glove, examining it closely. “Ah… thank you for that.” I tuck it inside my obi, where I once kept the gloves he left at my house. “But as I recall you offered me the hand as well.” I grin slightly.
“But as I recall you offered me the hand as well.”
“You’re hard to please…” I look back, “Were you ever this troublesome with your other lovers?”
Slowly I smirk… Oh I know she’ll get me for that.
“Maa since I did say you can have the hand… Where do you want it?”
You’re hard to please… Were you ever this troublesome with your other lovers?
I raise my eyebrows. “I’ve already warned you that I was -demanding-,” I lean slightly forward to speak into his ear in a low voice, “and yes… I -am- troublesome… but I assure you that I’m worth all of the trouble.” Ah well he -has- told me that in the past…
Maa since I did say you can have the hand… Where do you want it?
Sitting back with a grin, I pick up his hand to begin to direct it to where I… and then remember what we spoke of this morning. About how he was holding back… and here I am… I kiss his hand softly and place it in mine, holding it a bit too tight. “This is a good place,” I tell him with a smile.
I hold back a sigh. It’s very unfair that I behave like this… but it’s very hard when just looking at him I’m reminded how I need so badly to be close to him.
We’re finally passing the banks of Kamo river and I look out.
“It looks different now…” I say off-handedly. I’ve passed it before of course but I did not pay any real attention to it since I always saw it painted in red.
“This is good. Stop here.” I get off the carriage and it’s already twilight. A nice purple sky… Paying the driver I lead Hide up a deck. “It seems that Noryo Yuka’s are getting more popular.” I tell her looking around. “Back then there was only this one…”
We pass by the poles that held the deck up. It’s quite worn but the building itself looks like it’s newly renovated… It’s then that I start to wonder if his sword mark is still there.
Up at the deck I look around, down to the river below and the little lights from this deck and the others up and down the riverbank. “Ah, this is quite nice,” I say. It is a nice evening… although now I wish I had worn something cooler. Several other people passing by are dressed in yukatas… it -is- summer, after all.
It looks different now…
“I’ve never been to this one before but I do like the atmosphere,” I tell him. I know that there are more of these than there was years before… but it’s another sign of this city changing, just a little, from how I once knew it.
Getting us a table right beside the wooden rails so that we have a clear view below and along the Kamo, I get up and leave. If there’s any place I can find cigarettes, it would be around here.
“Hoi! Otoko! Who sells import tobacco here?” I ask.
He looks at me and a grin platers itself on his face and at once I knew to get anything for the night mean a king’s ransom.
“I know a place mister but… It’s -very- far and I’m not really sure if I should be going out and about this late.”
“Oh?” I tilt my head, “Kodomo let’s not play around, you and I know you probably live on the streets, so how much would it cost?” I might as well cut to the chase.
“Three square meals of soba a day sir.” He smiles and I narrow my eyes. This boy seems familiar, but the one I know has grown up now and runs a small carriage shop in Tokyo. But the uncanny resemblance…
“Here.” I toss him a few bills and indicate where Hide and I are seated. “Don’t split, I’m a cop I will catch you.”
He snorts, “feh.. Like I didn’t know that already.” He runs away before I can answer, I grin as I walk back.
Sitting back down, I look around the table, “Where’s the food?”
He comes back grinning and I wonder…
Where’s the food
“I went ahead and ordered while you were gone,” I tell him, and a serving girl comes by and brings the sake I had requested. “So if you will be -patient-, we’ll have tuna and other dishes momentarily.” I was pleased to see a menu of Kyoto-style classics.
I pour for him and myself. Even for someone like me who adores tea… a nice summer evening is better with something else. “Your mood seems improved…” I say.
“I went ahead and ordered while you were gone,”
“Ah very good.” She pours some sake for me and I take the cup.
“Your mood seems improved…”
“My cigarettes will be coming soon.” I grin even wider. “I -knew- this was the place to go. Even if I do have to rely on a runt.”
“That is -very- good about your cigarettes,” I say, making a mental note to make sure that they can be found in Ito. The man at the store where I buy coffee for Hajime is rather good for finding things…
Taking a sip of the sake, I’m surprised at how quickly the food arrives, as the girl reappears with our dinner. steamed tuna with lotus root and rice… Nothing too heavy or elaborate. I move over to sit next to Hajime, “looks good, ne? Too bad they didn’t have soba on the menu… you must be going through withdrawal…” I say with a smile, glancing at him from the side of my eyes as I set out some of the food for both of us from the steamer.
“looks good, ne? Too bad they didn’t have soba on the menu… you must be going through withdrawal…”
“You have no idea…”
I take some of the tuna and rice and put it on her plate. Looking at it, I decide she probably needs to eat more so I give her two servings of each. I’m not really here for food anyway. My eyes dart to the steps by the entrance. That boy better be quick.
Starting on the tuna I decide it’s too bland so I drench it with soy sauce and drench hers as well. I focus on the alcohol after that, just not finding anything to talk about. It’s then that I started feeling rather hot and restless.
“Sometimes this place is suffocating.” I tell her as I pick on the tuna and drown the sake, “I don’t know how you can stand it.”
You have no idea…
“We’ll see to that when we get back home,” I promise him.
I notice he gives me more food. “I don’t need to really eat that much, Hajime,” I say, laughing softly. “Then I’ll get all fat and you won’t look at me anymore.” That, and Makoto and I tend to eat rather simply… this much tuna would be dinner, breakfast and Makoto’s lunch for the next day.
Sometimes this place is suffocating. I don’t know how you can stand it.
“I have good memories here,” I say. “But some aren’t…” I look out at the river and then back at him. “This was my home for a long time. You only came here for a certain reason.”
I put down my chopsticks to touch his hand briefly. “And then I take you all of these places that remind you of other times… would you have gone to Mibu if not for me?” I ask.
“We’ll see to that when we get back home,”
I nod as she laughs…
“I have good memories here,” “But some aren’t…” “This was my home for a long time. You only came here for a certain reason.”
She didn’t catch what I meant. I just look at her… Of course.
“And then I take you all of these places that remind you of other times… would you have gone to Mibu if not for me?”
I shrug but do not look away. “I have nothing to go back to there.” I say even though I wasn’t referring to Kyoto nor Mibu or anything else she’s probably thinking.
The little boy whom I sent on an errand came back and he slips my cigarette on the table and a piece of paper discretely onto my hand. He bows in almost a mock like manner and runs off. As he leaves, I feel a tinge of melancholy come over me. Looking down, I open my hands and smile slightly at what I found there. Sliding it into my pocket, I realize if it was to happen to anyone else, it could easily be dismissed as an effigy of the imagination. I look back at Hide and nod towards the river bank.
“Fireflies.” I tell her and finally light a stick up.
He says nothing about my talk of Kyoto… and then I realize… maybe it’s not… as he seems suddenly so distant.
“It is suffocating at times but there are things here…” I say in a quiet voice. But I know that the outside won’t hurt what I value here… I -know- this. “Yet there are things I want… why are they so much easier to express outside? Or indirectly outside? Like with those pictures…” I say. “Is that the only way we can express how we want…”
I look over at him. “I don’t want to lose you again,” I say, even if he won’t understand it, but it’s the truth. “Things beyond this place are unstable but there’s freedom. I like being able to speak to you there. I like it when I can go there… to find you in all of the places I need you, because I still love you here… there… anywhere we are.”
He gets his cigarettes and speaks of fireflies. I can only hope… that he hears me as he finds his cigarettes again. That place we came from long ago… and where I wish I could be with him… everywhere that we find outselves, not just in the confines of this box.
“It is suffocating at times but there are things here…”
“Yes I know that too. And as for expressing…” I shrug, I have nothing to say to that.
“I don’t want to lose you again,”
“Maa. We barely knew each other when you were in Tokyo.” I say this but the way she talks about our meeting back then, it does please me somehow. Perhaps all those favors I asked and my constant tagging along helped her.
“Things beyond this place are unstable but there’s freedom. I like being able to speak to you there. I like it when I can go there… to find you in all of the places I need you, because I still love you here… there… anywhere we are.”
“Thanks.”
I could blow smoke rings I suppose. Entertain her and I in the meantime. Of course it does escape me why she’d say these things…
“And yet you feel it is cumbersome… Maa. No sense talking about that now, we’re after all in a diorama.”
Drinking some of the sake, I follow it up with a good old drag of my long time companion.
We come back to the ryoken, late that night.
There are things that happen beyond this place… in ways that only Hajime and I understand. Wherever I can be with him… I want to be there. There is so much for us beyond this box.
We change and settle down into sleep. Wrapping myself around him I’m soon lost to sleep.
(OOC – end thread)
That’s it I can’t help it. She and I need to talk as ourselves… And this place is suffocating so I grab her by the hand to go to the nearest inn. There are things beyond us than this, of what she showed me before and sometimes I think I lose her here. Finally away in a secluded room, I drop my annoyance slightly when she planted herself in front of me and I slide her the picture the boy gave to me earlier.
[20:34] safetygirl0: Should I make you soba? *smiles*
[20:35] mg_batt: ah… I believe we already ate.
[20:35] mg_batt: you should eat though more… *chuckles*
[20:35] safetygirl0: Trying to get me fat? *laughs* Hmmm…. I didn’t get to eat too much there.
[20:36] mg_batt: I wouldn’t mind you fat… It’s -certainly- more convenient for me.
[20:36] safetygirl0: Oh? How so? Then I wouldn’t look as cute in those pictures…. *raises eyebrows*
[20:37] mg_batt: ah… well then i would only be the one to look at you. *scowls* you probably love looking -cute- for -others-
[20:40] safetygirl0: Mmm… no… those pictures are -only- for you…. I don’t even let the writer put them up on that site of theirs *smiles* And you know I’m yours, ne? Just as I know that you’re mine… no matter how many pictures our writers have of you kissing other men. Because… I -know- you’re mine. *pulls him down for a long kiss that’s more forceful than usual*
[20:41] mg_batt: *savors the kiss* hmm… you taste well… *breaks the kiss and looks at her* If -that- was me, well kissing men is different than kissing the opposite sex.
[20:43] safetygirl0: *sits down, tugging at his sleeve for him to join her* Oh… does it? I wouldn’t know… *laughs* But I know that’s not you… and at least we now have a use for all those books.
[20:44] mg_batt: *looks for a minute at her hand that tugs on his sleeve, sits down beside her* You wouldn’t know? *quirks eyebrow*
[20:46] safetygirl0: Well… I’ve only kissed the opposite sex. *laughs* *sees that he’s sitting next to her, goes to sit in his lap*
[20:47] mg_batt: and how did it taste? *raises both eyebrows*
[20:49] safetygirl0: *leans forward to kiss him, lingering, taking her time as her tongue explores his mouth* *breaks away* Very well. *looks thoughtful* You taste like your cigarettes… I like that taste on you.
[20:50] mg_batt: *surprised look but gives in to the kiss, leans in as hide breaks away* Maa…
[20:52] safetygirl0: *leans forward to brush her nose against him* Mmmm… I seem to be in an affectionate mood tonight… *laughs softly*
[20:54] mg_batt: It would seem so. *grabs the back of her hair to stay her face. plants a deep kiss and starts to run his hand along the front of her kimono*
[20:58] safetygirl0: *moans slightly at his touch, her hand searching for his unoccupied one* *pulls back slightly, her face on his shoulder* Hajime… *softly* I do want you… -badly-… but I don’t want you to regret it.
[21:00] mg_batt: *looks back at her, pulls back as well* Ah well nothing’s set in stone. We just take a go on what’s there ne? *starts smoking*
[21:03] safetygirl0: Take a go? Mmm… I do tend to be impulsive in -this- regard. I don’t know though… should I hold back or do as I wish? I don’t want to hurt you… *puts her arms around him to hold him close, to say quietly* I need all of you, so badly.
[21:05] mg_batt: Ah well. We should get our lives together first I suppose. You with your own and I with mine.
[21:07] safetygirl0: *nods* You… with your wife… *looks up at him* But me… *looks in his eyes* It’s as if… I’ve been waiting for you to come find me.
[21:10] mg_batt: Ah.. I don’t know what to do with Tokio. All I can do the past years is just be difficult towards her. *shakes head* And you… You keep saying that when clearly the first few days I came here you wouldn’t have it. YOu wouldn’t even believe me when I said I looked at you once a long time ago. *stands up and paces*
[21:14] safetygirl0: Tokio… it’s more difficult, now, with what you told me about your son? *stands up* Those early days… I didn’t know quite what to do with you. I knew how deeply I was falling in love with you… and yes… now I -know- how you felt about me. I was surprised… but it made me happy, to know that you had seen me all along. I’m sorry it took me so long to see you…
[21:18] mg_batt: *looks at her* You should’ve said something… I hated that, you were frail and hid behind those whom you felt comfortable with.. *looks at her* I do not hate you for being weak, but ah well… Gah sumanai. I’m just bitter. *shakes head* My son. I’ll fix that soon enough.
[21:21] safetygirl0: *puts her arms around his waist from behind* Don’t be bitter… *says quietly* The past… There was more there… and even then it wasn’t about being weak or strong. It was that… I found a voice. -My- voice. And you were the only one who heard it.
[21:26] mg_batt: More in the past huh? *scoffs* Sou ka. Well Hide I think we should finish the evening in Kyoto, you need to get back to Ito.
[21:32] safetygirl0: Yes…. there was. *lets go to stand in front of him* And I need you to… *looks away for a long moment before looking back at him* I just need you. *looks back at him* *holds him again*
[21:36] mg_batt: *sighs and embraces her* I can’t give back your past Hide. Your mother, father, Souji nor your lover whom you still keep from me. To be completely honest with you, I do not want any of your past except your mother and your father back. *let’s go* Unfair of course since I haven’t really offered you anything. *shrugs* Let’s finish up Kyoto, you’ll feel better once you get home to Ito.
[21:43] safetygirl0: I know you can’t give them back to me. And when we get back to Ito… I need to tell you all about Makoto’s father. I’m not trying to keep him from you… *looks up at him* And Hajime… you -have- offered me something. You already gave me hope back, and in a way… myself back. I want to help you as well… I think I can. And… I’ve found you, someone who I love so much… *smiles softly, reaches up to cradle his cheek with her hand*
[21:49] mg_batt: Help me? Ah well I can take care of myself Hide, but I do like to spend time with you. It just bothers me that… Ah well that can be fixed soon enough. You’ll wait for me of course… I hope if you do.. *clears throat* Love me as you say you do.
[21:54] safetygirl0: *smiles* I -will- wait for you. Because you are worth it. *leans up to kiss him, holding him tight* And yes… I love you, and you’ll see it. In every sense.
[21:58] mg_batt: Really? *looks thoughtful* Even with… I should just tell you now ne? It’s no secret after all that since I’ve lived alone for quite some time that I’ve been living like a bachelor. Do not get mad… I barely remember who or what happened the past few years. I just don’t want you to be surprised.
[22:04] safetygirl0: *shakes head* No… that’s your past, that time apart from me. I wouldn’t hold that against you… after all… you never thought that you’d find me again, ne? *smiles* Thank you for being able to tell me. But… now that you’re with me… *looks serious* As I said… you’re mine. You’re not the only one who likes to put their claims on their beloved… *tugs down at his collar to suck at the place where his neck meets his shoulder* Hmmm… doesn’t quite say “Hide”… *grins*
[22:09] mg_batt: Find you again? And now that I’m with you… *listens to her but gets distracted with her sucking on his neck* *blinks* *blinks* Doesn’t say Hide? *chuckles* Ah well, too bad then because no matter how -investigative- you are… You forget that I am -very- good with my job in -hiding- things.
[22:15] safetygirl0: *tilts head to look at the red mark* I’ll just have to practice more… see if I can get my name on there. *pulls down the other side of his collar to suck on the other side* *with a kiss on the spot looks at it* Yes. I’ll have to keep practicing, ne? *looks up at him, fiddling with his collar.* You don’t need to hide from me… tell me. I like it when you do…. just trust me to hear these things. *admires her ‘work’* Just keep those hidden or people will think that your lover just -ravages- you. *laughs*
[22:19] mg_batt: Mmmmm…. *enjoys the feel of her lips on his neck* You’re getting -too- good at this…. *closes his eyes* This torture… *grabs her suddenly and presses his entire body on hers* *hisses* Argh Hide… *kisses her roughly and claws at her front again*
[22:24] safetygirl0: *Kisses him back, running her hands up and down his back* *breaks away just enough to speak* I’m torturing myself as well… aah… what sweet torture… *panting, arching her back to press herself against his hands as she brings her lips back to his, her tongue finding his in the deep kiss*
[22:28] mg_batt: *narrows his eyes and squeezes her breast* “Not good enough…” *pauses and bites the tip of his glove to remove it, slowly slides it inside the opening of her kimono and grits his teeth* *runs his fingers inside and cups her breast with his bare hand* *narrows eyes again says softly* Open your kimono…
[22:31] safetygirl0: *thinks…. oh kami… the -glove- biting…* * removes her obi, letting it fall to the floor, and pulls her kimono open* *reaches back to pull out the pins, dropping those as well as her hair falls free* *breathlessly* This is better than just looking at those pictures, ne? *starts to work on his buttons*
[22:39] mg_batt: *watches her closely, eyes now only in slits. controlled but heavy breathing* *opens his mouth to speak about the hair but stops and goes for her lips instead* His tongue laying itself on top of hers before playing with it and drawing it inside his* *let’s go suddenly and his hands trace her larynx and the groove along side her collarbone while his mouth goes straight for her nipple, sucking at it hard, swirling his tongue around it with his eyes closed. Feeling the hard center and the soft area around it, he takes his other hand to knead on her left breast, loving the way they comply to his hand.
[22:44] safetygirl0: *responds to the kiss that ends too soon, leaving her dizzy* *moans softly at his hands, his tongue… how they seem to know how to make her entire body feel as if it was on fire* Oh… Hajime…. *she gasps, one hand grips onto his shoulder, holding on tight, the other traces soft patterns along the side of his neck, slides down underneath his jacket and shirt to feel his warm skin and the hard muscles beneath*
[22:51] mg_batt: Lifts his tongue from her breast and turns his face towards her hand to feel her skin. nudges it with his nose although awkwardly… turns back and settles his body in her center supporting his weight with both hands and dips his tongue in the center of her neck and slides it in the middle of her chest to turn to her left nipple suddenly biting it, creating a red mark there, he starts to lap and suckle in alternating rhythm until it turned purple. *thinks to self: Kami… I… can’t stop myself* centers himself in between her legs and presses his groin against her already knowing how hard he’s become and how painful it is not to bury himself in her. *groans as he kisses her lips and continuosly kneads his hardness against her*
[22:58] safetygirl0: *panting, smiling at how this makes her feel…. so happy…* *caresses his cheek, his neck, as his mouth becomes more insistant on her breast, gasping in pleasure and a little pain at his teeth on his skin* *shivers yet feels flames racing through her as she feels his hardness… oh… she grinds her hips against him, feeling the slick wetness between her legs only grow.* *places her hands on his behind so she can move better against him, admiring how firm he is and brings them back around front to undo his belt, and then start to unbutton his pants*
[23:12] *** Your previous message has not been sent. Reason: Maximum length (800) exceeded. You can recall the last message typed with Ctrl-Up or Up, depending on settings.
[23:12] mg_batt: *helps her with his belt, quickly almost desperately but his need was too assiduous to deny* *takes her hand and places it on the back of his neck while he goes back to sear her with a deep kiss supporting his body with one hand and taking out his shaft in another. Stops for a moment to feel her with his fingers to see if she can take him, feeling her slick enough, opens his eyes for a moment panting* Positioning his member in her opening he heaves a forceful thrust and buries himself deep within her, feeling her muscles surround him, he shivers slightly at the wonderful sensation of her womanhood.
[23:12] mg_batt: Gritting his teeth he starts to move in her vigorously, lifting her with each thrust while boring holes in her eyes… gritting his teeth for control and eveness in his strokes* *he grips her shoulder to pin her down while he continued to ram himself against her* “Hide… I…” *shakes head as beads of sweat start to form on his forehead*
[23:22] safetygirl0: *cries out as he enters her, her muscles gripping his hardness as it glides inside her* Oh… *for a moment, just lost to the sensation of him inside her… how badly she needs him again, as always… meeting his eyes she wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, making her movements against his a little slower, to draw out the feeling of how good it feels…* Oh Hajime… *she moans, her breathing becoming faster as one arm holds him close, the other hand goes from the back on his neck to wipe the sweat from his forehead…* *smiles as the waves of pleasure begin to rise, her hand goes back to his neck to grip it tightly, anticipating the place they’re getting so close to….*
[23:37] mg_batt: As she wrapped her legs around him, he could feel himself drawn in deeper. The luscious feeling it was bring to his senses, made his thrust heavier and unable to control the pain that threatened to explode in him. She smiles and he stares back at her. How enthralled he is with those eyes as if he knew them… A word he wanted to say at that moment as he cups her face with both his hands while his arms dig through the floor. Eyes narrow suddenly remembering something… (flash: And moron, need I say once again that she ran away from you. I drew her out but you made her withdraw away from me. You changed her?EUR? And for that I shall always hate you. )
[23:37] mg_batt: Closes his eyes shaking the voice away, letting go of her face, hides his behind her shoulder gripping her tightly as he lost himself to her. He shivers as his fluids exit his body into her welcoming warmth, knowing fully well that his need was satisfied but does not get up from above her. His panting breath now gone just replaced with slow but heavy breathing. “Sumanai Neko-chan.” thinks: What the hell was that?
[23:48] safetygirl0: They move together and she feels it rising…. her hands roam his body, but stop to grip his back as he looks in her eyes and she feels it beginning to become overwhelming…. aware of his smell, his breath, his eyes glowing with passion… the feeling of him thrusting inside her and her body welcoming him, and then she’s overcome by the shaking…. almost violently it rips through her, every inch of her body feeling intense and alive, all centered on the place where they are joined, so familliar yet it’s always something new.
[23:48] safetygirl0: As she feels him emptying himself inside him, it reaches its height and she cries out, a moment passing before she is lost… he stays wrapped around her as she settles back down to earth, trying to catch her breath, sumanai… why…. she wants to ask. “ahh…. Hajime….” she smiles, brushing his hair back, holding him tightly.
[23:52] mg_batt: *gets out of her rolling off her to his back and fixing his clothes. stares up the ceiling for a moment* *turns his head to watch her face, turns back and sits half-way and grabs his gloves* “I’ll see you another time.” Stands up and grabs her hairpin “Here fix yourself.”, he says quietly and hands her the hairpin.
[23:57] safetygirl0: *tugs at his hand* Hajime… *steps on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek* Thank you… for sharing that with me. In so many ways…. you make me so very happy. *looks up at him* Stay with me tonight… let’s go sleep at the ryoken, and then in the morning… take care of your business and then we can go home, ne?
[00:02] mg_batt: *bends down slightly as she kisses his cheek* “Ah.. well..yes let’s go to sleep then.