Current mood: scared
Points of View – An Ending
I do not know how long I can keep up staying like this. And now that I have an inkling of Souji?EUR(TM)s plans for Hide?EUR? Whether they are one or not, is of little consequence for there will come a time when she will understand, that what we have can never leave this small box?EUR? And that her true self, is actually just the two of them put together. I want to tell her this?EUR? So badly so she can just get on with it and find her true self?EUR? Of course I?EUR(TM)m being unfair in keeping silent?EUR? to both of us. So just like she must bear the pain of me being married, then I should bear the pain of her finding the true answers someday. I am truly a horrible man?EUR? Perhaps I will close my eyes until that very last moment and pretend there is hope for us. But in these things I am not a strong man and I cannot guarantee something like that. Perhaps I shall ask Kizu to kill my memories of this wonderful dream?EUR? Or perhaps when my Hime-sama leaves, a part of me shall die and in time it will not hurt and life will return to what it was?EUR? The first time we met, where I met the real Hide?EUR? And I shall go back to my wife and see how it goes from there. It might work after all, since I will lose something important in my life and I will feel numb that nothing could possibly hurt me after this. And Tokio does not know?EUR? What she doesn?EUR(TM)t know can?EUR(TM)t hurt her. I?EUR(TM)ve always believed strongly in that.
Hide?EUR(TM)s favorite flower is that which is called Samurai Orchid, a very strong and hardy flower. It is a symbol that she will live on. Mine is the beautiful Sakura because it is the symbol for Japan?EUR? Somehow it reminds me of ?EURoeus?EUR?, since it only blooms for a couple of weeks, a sweet and fleeting dream. But aside from that, the Sakura is a symbol of my life, to continue on, to come back always in spring. Perhaps now when I pass a Sakura tree, it will hold another meaning?EUR? Of a hope that was lost?EUR? But also of life that continues on, just like the Samurai Orchid.
(OOC: Private post)