Hide the woman I love?EUR? Before, each time we consummated it, a strong guilt encompasses me. I was not a free man and yet I take advantage of her generosity. A single woman who?EUR(TM)s body I ravished and delighted in every moment, whenever I had the time. Then it struck me, how much I have used her and defiled her honor every time I touch her. Souji would never do such a thing and probably would?EUR(TM)ve had my head if he knew, for he treated her like delicate China. But she gave everything up for me and I felt worse after which I decided to turn her away by using her in a fashion that only an animal would do. I had hoped she would despise me and file charges. But she never did and instead as I stayed in her washroom, I heard her voice looking for me. How can a man?EUR? How can a person stay away from kindness like that? I couldn?EUR(TM)t and I came back because I loved her kindness?EUR? And it was only happiness that day when I told her about myself of my home and father?EUR? And it was again her generosity when she gave herself up to me once again in silence, in that small garden. My life changed?EUR? And I knew this woman, I shall always love her?EUR? Maybe just a bit too much. From then on I could not stop thinking of what I could do for her, for my Hime-sama?EUR? Just to return some of that which she showed to me. The songs, the little trinkets and taking her to places never seems enough to give for someone you adore?EUR? To someone who is precious.
But life I think is just cruel is it not? We could never be free outside the small house. I cannot touch her outside a small box and cannot bring her anywhere else. I cannot even leave my wife because, outside of this small box there is no world for her. She does not exist?EUR? Only a shadow of her exist outside, a world that I also move in?EUR? A world where impossibilities happen, where my friend Souji is alive?EUR? Where I am nothing but an overworked cop?EUR? A world where the exact likeness of ?EUR“my- Hime-sama was free and yet bound in heart and mind to Souji. I cannot fault her for that and I cannot fault Souji either for he had an unquestionable rights towards her. It would?EUR(TM)ve been fine if I had not known where my Hime-sama came from. She will never admit it of course, not in front of me?EUR? How ironic that in this world of impossibilities, the chance of us being together, although an impossibility in itself is destined to be denied.
Perhaps I didn?EUR(TM)t realize it till after a long time. Maybe I fooled myself thinking, we shared something special since she came about with my help, my presence. I went even so far to think that she was there because of me. That she became strong because of what we shared?EUR? That was not true and I realized and confirmed it. I had always known she was strong, but I was hoping her existence was tied to mine. But somehow I found out she had existed much earlier?EUR? And I knew it was inevitable that someday she will disappear and finally be one with her ?EURoesister?EUR?. So I silently left?EUR? Or so I thought I could do it?EUR? Of course I couldn?EUR(TM)t?EUR? Leaving with questions unanswered has never been my way of life and so I asked her why she did not need me. I knew the answer already; she was strong and existed before I ever came into her life. I do not expect her to apologize for it?EUR? But lately, I knew she never asked anything and never expected anything back. But if you truly care about someone, even if you are strong you need them?EUR? I waited for the answer?EUR? And her answer was what I had wanted to hear?EUR? So I decided to try again?EUR? Even if I had many questions which might never find their answers.
(OOC: Private post. Wolf just thinking. *Kizu kicks him not once but twice now*)