Session Start (hide:hajime): Thu Feb 10 21:32:33 2005
[22:03] hajime: (setting: same as yesterday.. wolf asleep.. hide cooking.)
[22:04] hajime: (a little past noon)
[22:05] hide: Downstairs …. cooking… I’m done and Hajime still isn’t downstairs. I head back upstairs… to find him – asleep? I walk closer to check on him.
[22:05] hajime: *snores a little*’
[22:06] hide: I kneel down next to him, watching him closely… he was so suddenly so tired and won’t let me see his shoulder… but he’s not going to keep it from me. I start to unbutton his shirt, watching him the entire time.
[22:08] hajime: *stirs a little… opens eyes slightly and narrows them* what are you doing? i ask hoarsely.
[22:09] hide: “Checking on your shoulder,” I say, quietly. “It’s not like you to get tired like this.” I continue to get his shirt off, looking rather stern. “Don’t push me away, Hajime. You wouldn’t let me, would you?”
[22:10] hajime: “Did you cook?” I get up slightly and catch her hand before she can fully take my shirt off. “I’m -really- hungry.”
[22:12] hide: Placing my hand on his good shoulder, I try to push him back down. “Stop being like this.” I frown. “Yes, I cooked. You can eat -after-… ”
[22:13] hajime: She pushes me down and I fall… I’m surprised at how strong she can be if she wants to. I reach up at her and pull her face towards mine in an effort to kiss her.
[22:16] hide: I smile a little and move my face away. “Shoulder first…. then lunch or… whatever.” I try to keep looking stern but I can’t help but grin. He’s not going to distract me. Shaking my head, I tug at his shirt to see the bandages… or, well, what looks like my towels.
[22:16] hide: (OOC – going invisible)
[22:16] hajime: sure
[22:16] hajime: (OOC SURE)
[22:18] hajime: “I told you it was nothing.” I frown at her and try to get my shirt back. “Tofu has lots of protein and iron… That’s why i asked you to prepare it. Aren’t you going to feed me?” *sighs*
[22:21] hide: “I will feed you… in a minute.” Looking at the ‘bandages’, I sigh. “I have gauze here… it’s not so much the towels but you should tell me…” I sigh and look at him for a moment, then say softly. “Please don’t fight me…” I brush the hair from out of his face.
[22:23] hajime: “This is you fussing again..” I roll my eyes just a bit. It’s new… I think… To have someone who wants to know… and i think wants to take care of me. “Fine… Do what you want.” I lay back down exhausted…
[22:25] hide: “I fuss because I -care-,” I answer. “Baka.” I grin a little. “Don’t move or I will -get you- for it. I’m going to get real bandages and something to clean it with.” I hate seeing him like this… and I know, like most men, he doesn’t like being fussed over… but even if I have to tie him down I will see this done.
[22:29] hajime: I watch her and whatever it is she is doing. I must admit… I do like the fussing but the problem is… I don’t like her to see me like this. It’s embarassing I think, a grown man having a hard time to take care of himself. “Hurry up then…” I cross an arm over my eyes, it’s noon and the light is too bright in this room. I watch her bedroom… I’ve been here many times before just not during the day. At least it seems well kept…
[22:32] hide: I gather up the materials that I need, and come back to kneel by him. “I won’t take too long, then we can have lunch.” I take off the towels and look at the wound. I don’t know much about gunshot wounds but I start to clean up around it. “Have you seen a doctor since coming home?” I ask, quietly.
[22:35] hajime: “I already saw a doctor in Kyoto.” I answer her. What do I need another doctor for? And I hate them… “I heal very quickly hime-sama. If you haven’t noticed I’m quite fit for my age.” I chuckle a bit… yes.. I am getting old and hide taking care of me points out to that. back -then-, i think the shinsengumi were quite able… quite invincible if it was only a few cuts here and there.
[22:40] hide: Done cleaning, I start to wrap his shoulder again. “Hai, hai, I know. You are looking -quite- good for your age.” I wink at him, smiling. “But anyone, if they got shot… ” I shake my head, and stop wrapping to touch his hand with mine. “you should take care of yourself… and I will of course always fuss at you, you know.” My smile looses its playfulness as I look at him.
[22:44] hajimenokizu: “I know I look good…” I tease at her.. “And you… look beautiful as always… although you could let your hair down.” I listen to her as she continues… Oh I already know all this… But her expression changes and I scowl just a bit. “I am not -dead- yet Hime… Remember I am difficult.” I put my shirt back and get up slower than usual. I bend down slightly to kiss her cheek. “I said I won’t leave you remember?” I pull on her hand and lead us out of the room. “And you need to listen… I think I’ve said I’m hungry like four or five times now.” A chuckle escapes my throat.
[22:48] SafetyGirl0: “Mmm… no, I know you’re not dead yet…. remember this morning?” I grin at him as I follow him down the stairs, pulling the pins out of my hair and letting it fall down my back. “You were very alive then…” Downstairs, I say, “wait here, I’ll bring the food over to the tatami room… if you’ll open it up, it is a nice day after all.” I go into the kitchen and get things together.
[22:51] hajime: “Ah… This morning… And yes you do keep me very much alive.” I grin and let her hand go… Her hair falls down on her back and I smile just a bit, glad that she -does- listen -sometimes-. I open the windows and slide the door open. I like this room the best I think… either this or the living room with the red couch… We have many memories there… Ah… then that -is- my favorite and this tatami room comes second. I sit and slightly slouch and rest my hands on the table waiting for hide.
[22:55] hide: I bring everything on a tray into the tatami room. It looks into the garden… ah, yes, the garden. “I hope I made this correctly,” I say as I set the tray down and start taking the food off of it. “I will be right back, I need to get my tea… what can I get for you?” If I go out later, or tomorrow, I’ll need to get more of that coffee for him.
[22:56] hajime: “Hmmm… Water is fine…” I really should buy some coffee… I look at the tofu.. it is fried outside.. now lets hope hide did this right… i’ll have to find out when she comes back.
[22:57] hide: I come back with my tea and his water, and sit next to him. “Now…. tell me… what is the verdict on my tofu?”
[22:58] hajime: She comes back while I was slicing the tofu… the outside looks fine… the inside though is quite white.. almost raw… “It’s white inside…” I dip it into the vinegar and soysauce and take a bite size piece. Keeping my face blank as I look at her.
[23:00] hide: I watch him very carefully. “Oh, is it?” I wait….
[23:00] hajime: I take another piece and dip it into the sauce. “Don’t just stand there. Try it.”
[23:03] hide: I take a piece, dipping it into the sauce, before taking a bite. I chew thoughtfully. “Mmmm… I am an excellent cook yet not quite perfect…” I shrug. I will have to work on this one.
[23:04] hajime: “I beg to differ.” I smile at her… “This is how an old friend use to prepare tofu for me. It -is- perfect.” I take another piece and shoot it into my mouth. “now all you need to learn is how to make rice porridge… and the meal would be complete next time.”
[23:07] hide: I suppose I don’t quite have a taste for tofu right now but I smile at his words. Silly, ne? “Rice porridge… I shall learn that, as well.” I eat a little more. Ah, it isn’t so bad… hmm!
[23:09] hajime: “Hai hai! Yaso prepares that and this wonderfully…” I blurt out… Ah.. I look back at her quickly, that wasn’t supposed to come out. So I think of a way out. “But yours will be much better!” I close my eyes smiling… and nod just a little nervously.
[23:10] hide: “Yaso?” I ask. He smiles -that- smile again, and looks… nervous?
[23:12] hajime: Hmm… How to get out of this one? I could… -lie-… No… I shouldn’t. I place the bowl down. “Come sit beside me Hide.”
[23:13] hide: I put my food down and sit next to him.
[23:15] hajime: I encircle my arm around her waist and pull her closer. I can lie to her of course… But that wouldn’t be fair to the memory of someone important to me and to my hime… “Did your writer tell you of my journal posts about Yaso?” I ask her and take her hand in mine.
[23:17] hide: I rest my head against his good shoulder, and hold his hand back tight. “Yes… she’s let me read them before.”
[23:19] hajime: “Good… Kizu likes to twist some things here and there… But she was indeed my first wife.” I start and look at her face watching to make sure. “She was a very important person to me back in Aomori… just like you… However, what kizu wrote about us going our separate ways was not true.. She did not have a husband nor a family.” Narrowing my eyes at the old memory, I shake my head. “We only had each other.”
[23:22] hide: “Ah…. what happened to her, then?” I ask.
[23:23] hajime: Yes… I want to talk about this with her… So many things that I want to talk about.. “This does not hurt you?” I ask.. “I am not telling you if think I am doing this make you jealous…”
[23:25] hide: I shake my head a little… “No… if you want to tell me, I want to hear it.” That he is mentioning her… to tell me this, is a sign of how much things are still changing between us.
[23:28] hajime: Holding her closer I squeeze her hand. “She was quite old then… 29 while I was only I think 24.” I smile again… “We were in a Meiji settlement in Aomori and what you read was quite accurate. For a few years I was able to live again after the war… She would listen to all my wailings.. poor woman..” I look back at her. “Like you did… and still do I think.”
[23:30] hide: I settle in as he pulls me closer. I don’t say anything, just look at him, hold onto him, and listen. I smile a little at his talk of listening to him. “Hai, hai,” I say softly.
[23:40] hajime: “The settlement did not burn down… However… It got quite uncomfortable living there because of poverty. There were many crimes and it was unsafe… And even if she and I could’ve stayed there… Both of us had to work and I was never sure if I would see her back again… The Takagi’s were a neighbor of ours…” I hold her hand tightly, I do not want her to get upset with the mention of the Takagi’s. “They were a relative of Tokio… Tokio’s father who is a very -influential- man and who knows the Daimyo was able to find the Takagis… and offered to bring them back to Aizu… I took the opportunity to offer the Yagi’s my services so I could bring Yaso with me since she was getting very sick. Tokio’s father agreed to house her with his daughter Tokio if I joined his small army han.” I pause and take a breath. “So we lived in Aizu for a year but she died anyway… But I didn’t find out about this till much later since Tokio’s father took me to fight small wars with him and in time also I was re-introduced to Matsudaira. She didn’t answer my letters and it was always Tokio who would answer me back… So when I came back… I had no wife… And Tokio was there and I suppose I thought, since she was also kind… I thought she would do as Yaso’s replacement…”
[23:43] hajime: Even in my ears.. that sounded wrong… Using Tokio as Yaso’s replacement… However that was the reality of the time… and when we had started our life together, I had started thinking I really did learn to love Tokio… Which might not be true… I wonder… But I do not tell Hide the rest… It would upset her I think..
[23:44] hajime: (OOC: 2nd IM is just in his head)
[23:46] hide: Ah. Now I see… how he met Tokio. The situation around it. I hold his hand a little tighter… It was not a love match, yet not a totally blind match. “Ah, I’m sorry about Yaso. She was special to you…” I look up at him, into his eyes, trying to read what’s behind them.
[23:48] hajime: “Ah yes…” I grin slightly… “But it is an -old- memory…” I try to re-assure Hide. I’m not really sure but at least she did not lash out again at the mention of Tokio’s name. We might actually be getting somewhere. I chuckle slightly.. “So as you can see, you are the only one who knows what truly happened.. Those poor RPG people do not know Kizu is taking them for a spin.”
[23:50] hide: “So you’ll tell me all the -true- stories, then?” I smile a little at him, glad he’s telling me. It’s not a pleasant story to hear… about Yaso, and how Tokio came into his life. But that he will tell me… is a big step.
[23:53] hajime: “I haven’t lied to you yet…” I laugh slightly.. “Wait I did once with the pipes… but I owned up to it.” I look towards her and smile. “My writer tells me she had to do that because there is a Tokio in game… And they would hate the true story, especially tokio’s player.” *shrugs* “She should have told the truth though. It would’ve been easier, than actually romanticize it so much that after seeing Yaso leave me with a family… That I would want one of my own with Tokio.” *titters while shaking his head*
[23:55] hajime: “It didn’t at all happen that way… The desire to settle down wasn’t really present.” I look back at her… “Until now at least.”
[23:56] hide: “You’ve always been honest with me,” I smile. “Ah, you do wish to settle -now-?” I ask. I should … I move to sit in his lap, and try to keep myself from blurting out…
[23:59] hajime: “Yes…” I tell her. “It’s what I want… Although.” I look down at the tatami… “My boys are still too young Hide.” My arms around her tightens. She might… might just leave right now.
[00:02] hide: “I said to you… when we first came together… that I wouldn’t expect you to abandon them… you are not that kind of man.” Letting go of his hand, I turn my face up to him, and trace his jaw with my finger. “I will wait… as long as I need. I want to be with you.”
[00:06] hajime: She makes no motion to leave… I am relieved… though that isn’t exactly the best choice of words. Her fingers dances on my face and I take it and settle it on my cheek. I wonder how long she’ll wait for me. I can only hope she will do so for as long… will she last? I’ve got to believe in her though… That is what we need. “As soon as possible… I promise you.. Not a second longer… When they are old enough to understand what I will tell them.” I kiss her forehead for a moment.
[00:11] hide: I lean forward to kiss him… so happy yet it’s tempered, knowing that I will have to be patient. I rest my head back on his chest. “My future is with you… I love you, Hajime. Even if we can’t be married for a while… we are together now.” I pause for a moment. “And we will have a family… and share a life. That has been my dream, to have that with you.”
[00:13] hajime: I slid my hand into hers… And assure myself that Hide is a patient woman. “Thank you.” Then suddenly she mentions a family… I start chuckling. “Hime-sama… Trust me I have tried now so -many- times.. But I think you must be taking something.”
[00:17] hide: I grin. “We do try often, don’t we?” I try to keep my hand from trembling. “I… I’m not taking anything,” I say. “You know I am -slow-…” Then I shake my head and close my eyes. No, he is honest with me… I must tell him… and I can’t really keep it to myself. “Hajime… ” I whispher, suddenly unsure -how- to say it.
[00:20] hajime: “Ah yes slow…” I frown… “But I shall try harder next time… and in -greater- quantities, now that we’ve done it -elsewhere-” I chuckle a bit before seeing her hand tremble. I hold it. “Are you tired? Your hand is shaking.” She calls out to me and there is something I cannot place… “Yes I’m here Hime…” I look her over. “What is wrong?”
[00:23] hide: “You may keep trying… but I have reasons to believe… that you may have already succeeded.” I look up at him, holding his hand tightly.
[00:30] hajime: I freeze… speechless… my eyes narrowing as I take a sharp in take of air. Did I hear her correctly? Blinking a few times, I think my face turned several shades of white. My mouth opens to say something but not a sound comes out. Did I just hear? I look down at our hands still laced, then look back at her. It seems surreal… This afternoon… What I had wanted… I embrace her slowly but quite tightly… I should be jumping for joy.. and smiling… But I am expressionless, the only thing evident is the slight shaking of my arms around her.
[00:34] hide: I think I surprised him … I hold him back, noticing his arms shaking. “I was wanting to wait just a little… another month… I couldn’t wait… I can’t keep it from you.” I had hoped for more of a response… maybe I’ve just really, really surprised him.
[00:41] hajime: “Baka Onna…” I manage to say as I embrace her tigther still for such a long moment. Finally the shaking subsided and I release her. My muscles though are still quite tight. I blink a couple more, then shake my head… chuckling quietly… shaking again as I did so… before breaking out into a complete laugh… shaking my head… “Kami…” I touch her abdomen for a moment… “You think it will be a boy or a girl? Did you see a doctor yet? We should go today. And do you have enough food? We should shop today… Or no.. I will shop today.. You go lay on the futon.” I shake my head again smiling… Laughing.. “God… I can’t believe it…” Is it possible to be even this happy? A child… soon… with the woman I love so much… “Get up you shouldn’t sit that way.” I stand and hold out my hand to her, still shaking my head and grinning.
[00:47] hide: I laugh a little, just happy, and try to take his questions in order, “Boy or girl, we will have to wait until… December… to know. I have not seen a doctor yet. And yes, I have enough food… and I don’t need to lay down.” He’s laughing and helping me up. I stand and throw my arms around his waist, holding him close, a big smile on my face. “I think… I did the math, looking dates… I think it was that time in the garden.” That time which was so special to both of us… is when our child will come from.
[00:55] hajime: I lift her up by the waist and twirl her… This is the advantage of her being smaller… If I could lift her up without hurting her, I would probably do so… But I’ll have to be careful with her from now on. “A child! OURS!” I shout in the room as I continue to twirl her in the air. The garden she says… Finally done with the twirling, I put her down and pull on her hand slightly… I want to see that garden… Again! and Now! I stand by the door with her keeping her close to me as my eyes roam from the stone bench, to the orchids, to the -that- space where… Where she accepted me and forgave me… It was important then… But how important it is now… I encircle my arms around her waist. “I should’ve known… You felt different earlier” I beam at her. “But quiet… Ah! I suppose I shall have to forgive you for damaging my collarbone back then.” I just can’t stop smiling at her! “God Hide! You make me… You always make me so insanely happy!”
[01:01] hide: He’s so happy… always… I want to remember this… “I felt different?” I ask, laughing a little. Is -that- part of it? I turn to face him, “I’m so happy as well…” I put my arms around him again, burying my face on his chest. “Hajime, Hajime…” I whispher, just… overwhelmed. “-Our- child…” I’ve known for a while now… but now he knows it’s so very real… this child… our future.
[01:07] hajime: “Hai hai!” I laugh a bit more and shake my head again… It seemed an impossibility before… Yes… So impossible that I suspected her doing soemthing to prevent this from happening. I’ve always been such a fool… But now even -that- doesn’t matter because we will have a child. “A boy or a girl… It wouldn’t matter at all to me.” I tell her. “Ours…” Yes I think that is all that matters.. That this child is something we had shared and will share in the future. I lift her up and move back into the house, while I stare at those dark brown eyes. I put her down on the sofa, “Wait here…” I command her sternly. “I’m going out… We need a doctor NOW.” I shake my head again… I just can’t believe it… (OOC: end scene you may close)
[01:09] hide: Smiling after him as he goes out… I am glad that I told him…. that I did not wait. (end scene)